I'm a bit torn
Replies
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there is so much wrong with this... i can't even
Again...I'm not an expert and only learning as I go mysef so rather than judge me how about helping me out....which I thought this forum was for
I think you just need to chose your words a little more wisely when it comes to describing foods to her. Don't tell her that something, in whole, is unhealthy. As far as the peanut butter and jelly thing was concerned, I would've said "It's not bad for you". If it was the brand that was concerning to you, just make a better choice next time. Now, she might not even want to eat the more nutritious brands because she thinks they're ALL bad.
I don't think it's bad that you're trying to teach your children healthy habits, but it's different than teaching adults. Children will suck up everything you say, so you need to be a little more gentle about deeming foods "good" or "bad".
Start sticking to a rule that you won't buy foods that you don't consider acceptable. That way you don't have to keep stumbling over yourself if/when they question the food sitting in front of them.
Kids aren't totally capable of seeing the gray areas in situations. It may be be hard to for them to grasp that even though a food is considered "unhealthy" that it's okay if you eat it in moderation. Just feed them what you would feed yourself and avoid deeming certain foods "good" or "bad".0 -
As the mother of a 15 year old who is fighting bulimia, I say you are on a slippery slope. 8 year olds shouldn't have to worry about counting calories and reading nutrition labels. Nothing wrong with substituting fruits and veggies for chips and cookies and getting them more involved in activities, but beyond that they should be free to be kids.
If you think I'm over-reacting, ask any parent of any child with an eating disorder. It often starts very young. 8 or 9 was the time when my daughter started having body image issues, and she has NEVER been overweight. Be careful and let your kids be kids. They are little sponges who take in everything they see and hear you do.
Best of luck! :flowerforyou:0 -
. I had never given much thought to what I bought as far as peanutbutter and jelly, and am just now realizing that the calories in peanutbutter and the sugar in jelly is a bit high. I told her that they weren't going to hurt her but that if she wanted me to get her a healthier verision that I would after what I have in the cupboards is gone.
I also have an 8 year old daughter. 8 year old's are growing like crazy and should never be focused on the calories that healthy foods contain. You don't want her to stop listening to her body when it tells her she's hungry or not hungry.
Also, what's a 'healthier version' of PB&J????
I'd throw out the little debbies before I throw out the PB&J.
Healthier meaning more natural or organic peanutbutter. I'm not looking to throw anything out, I'm looking to teach her better balances and show her that it's ok to eat the little debbie in moderation rather than being scared to eat it at all. And I agree that she shouldn't be worried about calories at her age, right now she just focuses on what's healthy becuase she knows her mama is trying to eat healthier. And, I have alrady mentioend that I don't want her to not listen to her body. That's what I am trying to avoid here. I am just trying to figure out how, and see what works best for other parents.
Ah, okay. Gotcha. I feel you on this. Tread carefully. I really like what 1brokegal44 had to say above.0 -
I have an 11 year old daughter who is overweight. She went to the doctor in August, and her blood pressure was high for the second time. Her doctor told her that she needed to straighten up her eating habits, and lose some weight, if her blood pressure didn't go down, it was off to the cardiologist. I was so glad for it to come from the doctor and not from me. She eats healthy and unhealthy, just too much of both. I have a huge family, all very close, with lots of gatherings and parties. After school snacking at my parent's had become a problem, as well as big family dinners. I told her that she can eat whatever she wants, she just needs to get her portions in check. She's taking it seriously, but not overdoing anything. She eats peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, we usually put them on a bagel thin or english muffin, and just don't load gobs and gobs of jelly on it. She eats a piece of cake at bday parties, and has ice cream sometimes....just normal size portions, she doesn't fight for the biggest piece possible anymore. She went back to the doctor today, her blood pressure is down and she lost 3lbs in 3 weeks...which I think says she's doing very well. I hate that she has to worry about this being only 11 years old. I definitely would take caution in dealing with a child who is worried about food so much. And I wouldn't label foods as good or bad, I try to stick with teaching portion size and recognizing when you're full vs. when you want to over eat because something tastes delicious.0
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As the mother of a 15 year old who is fighting bulimia, I say you are on a slippery slope. 8 year olds shouldn't have to worry about counting calories and reading nutrition labels. Nothing wrong with substituting fruits and veggies for chips and cookies and getting them more involved in activities, but beyond that they should be free to be kids.
If you think I'm over-reacting, ask any parent of any child with an eating disorder. It often starts very young. 8 or 9 was the time when my daughter started having body image issues, and she has NEVER been overweight. Be careful and let your kids be kids. They are little sponges who take in everything they see and hear you do.
Best of luck! :flowerforyou:
This is exactly what scares me. I don't want her developing issues with food. I can't imagine what you are going through with your daughter. I feel like body image is something that is always so delicate, especially at her age. And no, I don't think you're overreacting at all. I see it as concern which I appreciate. She only just started to want to read labels and she's mostly looking at how much suagr is in certain foods. Again, because this is something I keep an eye on for myself. Hard lessons are learned with our kids, and it's difficult to know what it is that you will od or say that will drive them into the negative. I wish you and your daughter the best!0 -
Hello,
I am not sure if this has already been mentioned. But have a conversation with her and let her know what you said earlier was not entirely put forward correctly by you. You can say what you meant was that peanut butter and jelly are not as healthy as fruits or veggies or some protein, but you cannot survive on just that. Peanut butter, jelly, and for that matter all the food should be eaten in moderation. The best thing to do health-wise for her would be to eat all the food in moderation and include lots of fruits and veggies with each meal. Tell her that its wonderful she is beginning to think consciously, but she should concentrate more on being active rather than cut down/off any single food item.
I am hoping this makes sense/helps.0 -
there is so much wrong with this... i can't even
Again...I'm not an expert and only learning as I go mysef so rather than judge me how about helping me out....which I thought this forum was for
I think you just need to chose your words a little more wisely when it comes to describing foods to her. Don't tell her that something, in whole, is unhealthy. As far as the peanut butter and jelly thing was concerned, I would've said "It's not bad for you". If it was the brand that was concerning to you, just make a better choice next time. Now, she might not even want to eat the more nutritious brands because she thinks they're ALL bad.
I don't think it's bad that you're trying to teach your children healthy habits, but it's different than teaching adults. Children will suck up everything you say, so you need to be a little more gentle about deeming foods "good" or "bad".
Start sticking to a rule that you won't buy foods that you don't consider acceptable. That way you don't have to keep stumbling over yourself if/when they question the food sitting in front of them.
Kids aren't totally capable of seeing the gray areas in situations. It may be be hard to for them to grasp that even though a food is considered "unhealthy" that it's okay if you eat it in moderation. Just feed them what you would feed yourself and avoid deeming certain foods "good" or "bad".
Bolded for emphasis because she's 8 years old.0 -
As the mother of a 15 year old who is fighting bulimia, I say you are on a slippery slope. 8 year olds shouldn't have to worry about counting calories and reading nutrition labels. Nothing wrong with substituting fruits and veggies for chips and cookies and getting them more involved in activities, but beyond that they should be free to be kids.
If you think I'm over-reacting, ask any parent of any child with an eating disorder. It often starts very young. 8 or 9 was the time when my daughter started having body image issues, and she has NEVER been overweight. Be careful and let your kids be kids. They are little sponges who take in everything they see and hear you do.
Best of luck! :flowerforyou:
This is exactly what scares me. I don't want her developing issues with food. I can't imagine what you are going through with your daughter. I feel like body image is something that is always so delicate, especially at her age. And no, I don't think you're overreacting at all. I see it as concern which I appreciate. She only just started to want to read labels and she's mostly looking at how much suagr is in certain foods. Again, because this is something I keep an eye on for myself. Hard lessons are learned with our kids, and it's difficult to know what it is that you will od or say that will drive them into the negative. I wish you and your daughter the best!
Well, unless you daughter has diabetes or some medical condition that require her to monitor her sugar intake closely, I'd tell her not to worry so much about it. Sugar isn't what makes you fat.0 -
My kids always come to the grocery store with me, and my kids are huge into helping me cook. I think sometimes I get so caught up on getting in and out of the store that I forget that there are lessons to be learned. We play little games, like my son will count the number of apples I put in the bag and my daughter struggles with reading so she reads my shopping list and finds what I am looking for on the shelf. Anything outside of that I just don't even think about. Not because I don't want to teach them new things, but because it can be overwhelming as a single mom trying to figure out homecooked meals and stay within a strict budget. Sometimes it's a victory to get out with both kids happy.
When I was really young, I grew up in a two parent household so I don't know what the environment is like to be just you and two young kids. I'm sure it's really tough.
If you like to cook, maybe you can make it a family event. Food is fun. Both of my parents worked, so my Mom cooked a lot on the weekends and froze stuff. My sister and I got pretty into helping, especially with easy things like home made pizza and rolling meatballs. It really stuck with us - my sister has a culinary degree now. I just love to cook. I'm always cooking for one, so I cook a lot of healthy stuff on the weekends and then portion it out and freeze it for the week.
I think what always stood out for me as a kid, and what stands out for me now, is that we always had fresh vegetables and fruits. We also had high calorie items like peanut butter, cheese, regular milk and even home made cookies/pies, too. But, fast food/pizza/donuts was a very special treat and we didn't keep chips in the house.
WIth my family being so far away and homecooking being important to me I do have a blog with family recipes and recipes I find along the way that I tweak. My family gets to see photos of my kids and I have a place where my recipes are stored. The kids love getting their hands dirty with food, and have even been convinced to eat veggies simply becuase it was a dish they helped make. The memories that you have is exactly what I want my kids to have. Like you, eating out is something special. Generally I don't keep chips in the house, but someone brought a few bags to her birthday party and left them. They were already opened and I didn't want them going to waste. The biggest treat they get are zebra cakes to go in their lunch or something like that. She gets to pick out what kind of treat she wants. When I have time, I home cook treats and she loves this! Before I was single, I would also cook ahead and freeze meals. Sundays were a big even in my house. All 3 meals for the entire week were prepared plus snacks for the kids. It was hectic but man was it fun!
It sounds like you're doing the best you can. Good for you! Glad to hear they have fun in the kitchen with you.0 -
My only suggestion would be to be cautious about labeling foods "good" or "bad". While it's doubtful it will occur in your daughter's case, some who suffer from eating disorders come from good homes with well meaning parents who innocently villify food. Add that to a child who has tendency toward obsessive behavior to begin with, and voila, an eating disorder is born.
Again, I'm not trying to say this is what will happen with your daughter. Just suggesting caution when labeling foods good and bad.0 -
I have been obese most of my adult life due to my own issues, but none of my 4 children are even overweight. I've taught them that all food is fine in moderation. I make very healthy meals for my family and we don't eat sweets at all unless it's a party or special event - which is when it's perfectly okay to have a treat. I do not place limits or restrictions on things like fruit or vegetables, as for other snacks - on the rare occasion we have them in the house, they are limited to one serving. I believe portion control is the key to weight management. Training your taste buds that a little Greek yogurt with berries is a delicious dessert, but also that indulging is fine now and then are also important factors. Always have healthy options and choices available - like switching to a natural peanut butter & teaching the kids about trans fats would be a great idea. Best of luck to you!0
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In for the "My kids are just fine and I taught them about 'bad' foods and restrictions." K, see you when your daughter's 15.0
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In for the "My kids are just fine and I taught them about 'bad' foods and restrictions." K, see you when your daughter's 15.
Is that substantively different than saying "If your kids don't grow up watching mommy eat Little Debbies, they'll get an ED?"0 -
In for the "My kids are just fine and I taught them about 'bad' foods and restrictions." K, see you when your daughter's 15.
Is that substantively different than saying "If your kids don't grow up watching mommy eat Little Debbies, they'll get an ED?"
Do you know what a strawman is?0 -
In for the "My kids are just fine and I taught them about 'bad' foods and restrictions." K, see you when your daughter's 15.
Is that substantively different than saying "If your kids don't grow up watching mommy eat Little Debbies, they'll get an ED?"
Do you know what a strawman is?
Read back through the thread, and then tell me about your "strawman."0 -
I am really craving peanut butter now.0
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In for the "My kids are just fine and I taught them about 'bad' foods and restrictions." K, see you when your daughter's 15.
Is that substantively different than saying "If your kids don't grow up watching mommy eat Little Debbies, they'll get an ED?"
Do you know what a strawman is?
Read back through the thread, and then tell me about your "strawman."
How could I strawman anything when I wasn't arguing? :yawn:0 -
In for the "My kids are just fine and I taught them about 'bad' foods and restrictions." K, see you when your daughter's 15.
Is that substantively different than saying "If your kids don't grow up watching mommy eat Little Debbies, they'll get an ED?"
Do you know what a strawman is?
Read back through the thread, and then tell me about your "strawman."
How could I strawman anything when I wasn't arguing? :yawn:
You were implying I didn't know what a strawman argument was.
You can clearly infer from the previous posters exactly the statement I made.
Ergo, there was no strawman argument on my part.
I know it's all the rage for posters here to act like they have the keys to the kingdom, and all the rest of us are poor wandering fools, searching in the dark, but knowing simple logical fallacies doesn't really make you as intelligent as you may think.0 -
In for the "My kids are just fine and I taught them about 'bad' foods and restrictions." K, see you when your daughter's 15.
Is that substantively different than saying "If your kids don't grow up watching mommy eat Little Debbies, they'll get an ED?"
Do you know what a strawman is?
Read back through the thread, and then tell me about your "strawman."
How could I strawman anything when I wasn't arguing? :yawn:
You were implying I didn't know what a strawman argument was.
You can clearly infer from the previous posters exactly the statement I made.
Ergo, there was no strawman argument on my part.
I know it's all the rage for posters here to act like they have the keys to the kingdom, and all the rest of us are poor wandering fools, searching in the dark, but knowing simple logical fallacies doesn't really make you as intelligent as you may think.
Did I just catch you at a bad time?0 -
In for the "My kids are just fine and I taught them about 'bad' foods and restrictions." K, see you when your daughter's 15.
Is that substantively different than saying "If your kids don't grow up watching mommy eat Little Debbies, they'll get an ED?"
Do you know what a strawman is?
Read back through the thread, and then tell me about your "strawman."
How could I strawman anything when I wasn't arguing? :yawn:
You were implying I didn't know what a strawman argument was.
You can clearly infer from the previous posters exactly the statement I made.
Ergo, there was no strawman argument on my part.
I know it's all the rage for posters here to act like they have the keys to the kingdom, and all the rest of us are poor wandering fools, searching in the dark, but knowing simple logical fallacies doesn't really make you as intelligent as you may think.
Did I just catch you at a bad time?
There's never a good time to tolerate ignorant assumptions.0 -
In for the "My kids are just fine and I taught them about 'bad' foods and restrictions." K, see you when your daughter's 15.
Is that substantively different than saying "If your kids don't grow up watching mommy eat Little Debbies, they'll get an ED?"
Do you know what a strawman is?
Read back through the thread, and then tell me about your "strawman."
How could I strawman anything when I wasn't arguing? :yawn:
You were implying I didn't know what a strawman argument was.
You can clearly infer from the previous posters exactly the statement I made.
Ergo, there was no strawman argument on my part.
I know it's all the rage for posters here to act like they have the keys to the kingdom, and all the rest of us are poor wandering fools, searching in the dark, but knowing simple logical fallacies doesn't really make you as intelligent as you may think.
Did I just catch you at a bad time?
There's never a good time to tolerate ignorant assumptions.
You realize you're making all the assumptions here? Assumed a meaning I didn't say in my first post, inferred I was insulting you from the second, for I didn't imply it--you definitely inferred it.
I'm not sure why you're choosing to be so passive-aggressive to me, but here's a flower for you. :flowerforyou:0 -
In. cause I have never had a pb&j.0
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In. cause I have never had a pb&j.
You haven't lived.0 -
I think its a cultural thing. Didnt even know what they were until an american friend told me a year or two ago. and I dont even think we can get 'jelly' here.. unless its just jam and I am missing something. But its on my bucket list :P.0
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I think its a cultural thing. Didnt even know what they were until an american friend told me a year or two ago. and I dont even think we can get 'jelly' here.. unless its just jam and I am missing something. But its on my bucket list :P.
Where are you from?0 -
I think its a cultural thing. Didnt even know what they were until an american friend told me a year or two ago. and I dont even think we can get 'jelly' here.. unless its just jam and I am missing something. But its on my bucket list :P.
Jelly is a different consistency than jam, but here they are pretty interchangeable. Americans grow up on PB&(Jelly or Jam, take your pick).
Because you didn't, you'll probably find it gross but most of us love it. I haven't had PB in at least 6 months and this thread is seriously making me want it bad!0 -
I think its a cultural thing. Didnt even know what they were until an american friend told me a year or two ago. and I dont even think we can get 'jelly' here.. unless its just jam and I am missing something. But its on my bucket list :P.
Where are you from?
New Zealand.
and I think if we had a national sammich.. it would be a mince and cheese pie. lol 0 -
I think its a cultural thing. Didnt even know what they were until an american friend told me a year or two ago. and I dont even think we can get 'jelly' here.. unless its just jam and I am missing something. But its on my bucket list :P.
Where are you from?
New Zealand. and I think if we had a national sammich.. it would be a mince and cheese pie. lol
What is mince? I have friends from Engalnd and I've heard of mince pie but never stopped to ask.0 -
First of all, I'm not a parent, and obviously have no experience teaching children of my own about health and nutrition. On the other hand, I was raised by parents who were very active and health conscious. My sister and I were taught what foods were healthy and what foods weren't from a young age and we did not eat processed/overly sugary foods or snacks. This wasn't because we were denied these foods but because they simply weren't in our home. Because we typically ate "healthy" foods, when we were with friends or in social settings, we chose the healthy options not because our diet was restricted but because those were truly the foods we liked. This choices helped keep me and my sister focused on the importance of health (instead of calorie restriction) through high school and college.
I believe that teaching children which foods are healthy and which aren't, and letting them make their own decisions is a good thing. I don't believe in putting children on specific diets or restricting calories, but they should be able to choose what foods they eat as long as they are getting enough calories and nutrients. They should also understand the concept of indulgences in moderation. I do think it is important to answer their questions to the best of your ability and make their own decisions. If you are concerned, be sure to educate her on the importance of eating enough food to grow strong for her race!0 -
I think its a cultural thing. Didnt even know what they were until an american friend told me a year or two ago. and I dont even think we can get 'jelly' here.. unless its just jam and I am missing something. But its on my bucket list :P.
Where are you from?
New Zealand. and I think if we had a national sammich.. it would be a mince and cheese pie. lol
What is mince? I have friends from Engalnd and I've heard of mince pie but never stopped to ask.
Mince=ground beef. We are so colonial here sometimes lol. And good luck with your daughter. Not sure if this will help at all. But I tend to discribe food to my girls (and my son :P)as everyday foods and sometimes foods and special occasion foods.0
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