Todays Struggle

1princesswarrior

My trainer said something to me one day that has really stuck. "My goal is not to make you a skinny stick, but to make you the best you that you can be."

Ever since that day I have looked at weight loss totally different, it's not about that final number on the scale, it's about me becoming the best I can be strengthwise and healthwise. I also have goals that are not weight but fitness related, for example, I want to be able to run this difficult trail by my house and I want to be able to ride in a 3-day event with my horse next year and still go to work on Monday. Both require mental strength and physical strength but much more mental strength.

godspeed4me

THANK YOU EVERYONE for all the great input. I am going to set some goals that are non weight related. Soul searching this evening and tomorrow to see what those goals should be. And I am going to change my weight loss to be 10lbs instead of 20lbs. I did manage to get a tiny bit of movement in today. I bumped the volleyball around with my 8 year old for a bit. It felt great to get out and move with her.

bridgie101

I am a bit confused today...:ohwell: I keep thinking that maybe I just need to accept the way I am. You see all these posts of FB or Pinterest about society thinking every woman needs to be stick thin and why dont we just accept the way we are. I dont want to be super skinny I want to be me. Although I am not comfortable in my own skin and it has affect intimacy in my marriage as well as various other things. Maybe if I look at it as making healthy choices and not about weight loss. Become healthy and I will feel better about myself, my health will be greater and the weight may come off as well. So I am asking for some encouragement today.

Thank you

I think the reason you put in your own post is a good enough reason to lose weight: your self esteem is affecting intimacy with your husband. I think that's a very high price to pay, and I think it is destructive to the marriage.

Which is to say: either you learn to accept yourself as you are, truly and completely, or make yourself into something you can accept.

When you've been dieting for ages, it can be discouraging. The loss slows down... other things crop up... you start to question your decision and wonder why you are doing it.

I usually don't get past 5kg. I actually think it's time for a nancy reagan moment. You know - 'just say no!' Ie you've made the decision, stick to the decision. Work through that decision. Then when you are slim you can ask yourself if it's a feminist issue. When you are slim again you can ask yourself if it's what you want to be.

do you see? That kind of thinking is what got me through quitting smoking. "Get off the nicotine and then see if I want to smoke". I'm relying on it to get me past my 5kg hump this time.

Miffylou

That's what it's all about. The joy that you get when you can do things that you didn't do before.

Yes seeing those numbers on the scale go down is a great feeling. For me it's a better feeling knowing that there are so many things I can do now that I couldn't do before. A couple of weeks ago I ran a 12km fun run. Now I run everyday. Last night I carried my 35kg daughter around the house. I love to shop and Now I'm training for my first half a marathon. These are the things I get a buzz from.

Mentally it took me a long time to get here but I'm glad I made the effort to stick to it.

I think you're on the right track keep.????

snazzyjazzy21

Society will always ask the opposite of you. Thin? You should have some curves, eat more. Chubby? You probably need to lose some weight. No defined muscles, you must be weak, start lifting. Defined muscles, what's wrong with you, be more feminine!

You can't win.

gsgitu

I am a bit confused today...:ohwell: I keep thinking that maybe I just need to accept the way I am. You see all these posts of FB or Pinterest about society thinking every woman needs to be stick thin and why dont we just accept the way we are. I dont want to be super skinny I want to be me. Although I am not comfortable in my own skin and it has affect intimacy in my marriage as well as various other things. Maybe if I look at it as making healthy choices and not about weight loss. Become healthy and I will feel better about myself, my health will be greater and the weight may come off as well. So I am asking for some encouragement today.

Thank you

the Jeremiah verse is a good one, i have it outlined in my bible. i also like Philippians 1:22 "Yet if I live, that means fruitful service for Christ". He can use you no matter where you are in life. you are created in His image. so maybe pray about how you could be used now, and how if you lost weight and were more healthy. when i decided i needed to lose weight last yr. i wasn't didn't really have a big goal in mind. earlier this yr me, my wife and daughter went on a mission trip. i realized part way through that if i hadn't lost weight and started getting back in shape i wouldn't have been able to do half the work i did. just because i would have been so wore out. i wouldn't have had the energy. or prob the strength. i might have been to wore out to be a positive encouragement to others. that has kept me motivated as we plan to do more trips in the future. how is God going to be able to use me. He can still use me if i am out of shape, it will just be a lot harder, and maybe i would be too discouraged.

nena49659

Thank you for this post today. All of the replies have something that can be taken from and used for benefit.

My fitness goal...I really, really, really, want to play softball with my daughters next year. They are 26, 22 and 20 and are all on the same summer softball team. In order to be involved in the past, I've always been the scorekeeper. They will probably still need me in that capacity BUT, if I can, at least, practice with them without passing out on the way to first base, I'd LOVE that! (Not joking, the last time I played ball with them 15 years ago, I was running to first base after a fantastic hit and I started seeing stars and then blackness. HBP is fun. NOT.)

gigglesinthesun

I am a bit confused today...:ohwell: I keep thinking that maybe I just need to accept the way I am. You see all these posts of FB or Pinterest about society thinking every woman needs to be stick thin and why dont we just accept the way we are. I dont want to be super skinny I want to be me. Although I am not comfortable in my own skin and it has affect intimacy in my marriage as well as various other things. Maybe if I look at it as making healthy choices and not about weight loss. Become healthy and I will feel better about myself, my health will be greater and the weight may come off as well. So I am asking for some encouragement today.

Thank you

I have that very same problem. I don't have that much weight to lose and I was my goal weight not so long ago and yet I didn't love myself then either. It's as much about perception as it is about losing weight and getting fitter and healthier. It's sounds corny, but I try to stand in front of my mirror naked and pick a couple of things that I think are good and beautiful about me. It is slowly getting better, but it is a long process and it will take time.

I mean in the diet forum at least once every 2 days you will get a girl with a very low bmi posting saying that she has fat arms/thighs/hips or whatnot, so I truly think our perception of ourselves also has to be worked on, I guess it has to become more healthy as well. Good luck with everything :-)

CherylP67

I am a bit confused today...:ohwell: I keep thinking that maybe I just need to accept the way I am. You see all these posts of FB or Pinterest about society thinking every woman needs to be stick thin and why dont we just accept the way we are. I dont want to be super skinny I want to be me. Although I am not comfortable in my own skin and it has affect intimacy in my marriage as well as various other things. Maybe if I look at it as making healthy choices and not about weight loss. Become healthy and I will feel better about myself, my health will be greater and the weight may come off as well. So I am asking for some encouragement today.

Thank you

You are correct, it is Bout making healthy choices, being healthy, and being the best YOU you can be.

I realized that back in May and I have had so much success this time. I still struggle at times and have to take a step back and figure out my ext move once in awhile. I'm always evolving and when I learn better I do better for myself.

A photoshopped 20 year old is not my oxy ideal. I've found so much inspiration in here.

You can do this.