Do people treat you differently -- or is it you?

TheFitHooker

Well I was washing the hair dye out of my hair and was thinking about this some more. I can recall being treated differently. I have moments where people mainly women, who will tell me I would never understand where they are because I'm one of the lucky people who is naturally thin. I get more attention from guys now as well, I've been hit on by females as well lol. I've also had someone tell me that I look like I need to eat, which I eat more now then I use to just fewer calories and not in one setting. I feel like I eat all day long lol.

I have people coming to me for advice on how to do what I've done, so I have had negative and positive reactions from people.

guessrs

Both. I feel confidence and 'can do' attitude I never had before. And people pick up on these vibes and treat you like that. I feel like everyone is interested more and sometimes I just want to retreat into my shell which is what i used to do ha ha.

LessthanKris

Love this thread!

laineybz

I've lost just over 5 and a half stone. I could notice a difference in myself around 2 - 3 stone lighter. I was just a lot happier in myself. In January i noticed how confident i had become and applied for a job i wouldn't have dreamt of before, and got it.

After losing probably around 4 stone i met my boyfriend who didn't know me previously. I was genuinely surprised when he showed an interest in me and still say if we had met when i was bigger, we wouldn't have spoke purely because of my low confidence.

I feel good within myself, I like how i feel and look. But with the positives there's always the negatives. Some people making snide comments about my weight or what i eat. That's their issue not mine.

MadDogManor

This topic is one of great interest to me personally. I have lost my weight several times before, only to allow it to slowly pile back on. Part of this is due to never really figuring out maintenance. However, because I've always had weight problems, I was at a loss on how to cope with physical attraction by other men, besides my husband, once I reach a normal weight. Every time it was very awkward to me. So I guess that in my case it would be a difference in the behavior of others which came first and somewhat frightened me. I was never there long enough to get comfortable in my new body. I hope at this point in my life, I'll have the confidence to coolly rebuff them and make a joke of it, instead of insulating myself by adding some poundage. Curious to see if anyone else has felt this way.

Yep, I could have written this verbatim. Great thread!

brynnsmom

I'm the same person on the inside as I was when I was a fat, insecure teenager. Absolutely, people treat me differently now.

RenCara

Not only am I the same person on the inside but I still see the same person when I look in the mirror. It cracks me up to run into people from high school who are shocked or people who can't believe I was the chubby girl in high school. I am who I am and do not see a difference.

mamadon

My self confidence has sky rocketed and I think that in itself makes people treat you differently. Also, like another poster said, it has made a tremendous difference in my marriage if you get my drift lol. The husband has also lost weight. (105 pounds so far).

healthyplans

I noticed a difference after I lost 50 or 60 pounds, so fairly recently. No one was flirting with me 70 pounds ago, even on days I felt pretty cute, so I have to give credit to the actual weight loss. I think there comes a point where you pretty much become invisible to the world, and then there's a point in your weight loss where you become a viable option again.

This.

I think when I was 52 pounds heavier, I didn't want to be noticed.. I wanted to blend in. I think confidence builds as you lose weight and are no longer a wall flower.

healthyplans

This topic is one of great interest to me personally. I have lost my weight several times before, only to allow it to slowly pile back on. Part of this is due to never really figuring out maintenance. However, because I've always had weight problems, I was at a loss on how to cope with physical attraction by other men, besides my husband, once I reach a normal weight. Every time it was very awkward to me. So I guess that in my case it would be a difference in the behavior of others which came first and somewhat frightened me. I was never there long enough to get comfortable in my new body. I hope at this point in my life, I'll have the confidence to coolly rebuff them and make a joke of it, instead of insulating myself by adding some poundage. Curious to see if anyone else has felt this way.


Exactly how I have felt in the past. I would get so far and then sabotage myself....

mousemom18

Well that's interesting. I thought of this question while looking at the success stories. Some looked like completely different people. And I was wondering if I would treat them differently. Talk about different things or open up differently.

Then I thought about some stuff about thin me that is different from 'heavy me'. Like being able to wear white denim shorts this summer. Or saying yes to a ladies ' golf outing instead of making excuses because I looked like a buffalo in my golf skirt. Shaking off the feeling of inferiority that went with me everywhere. (Well,.MOST of it).

A very different feeling after a fairly minor move from the 160s to the 140s.

What might things be like for those of you with the big numbers??

acpgee

It's a superficial world, unfortunately.

I looked pretty good in my teens and twenties when I was working as a fashion model in Paris, London and NYC. I used to think people were essentially kind, interested in strangers, and wanted my opinions. As I lost my looks due to aging and weight gain, I realized that that I had been getting special treatment for my looks all that time. And it wasn't only men who might have wanted to get into my pants. Women wanted to stand next to me and be considered my friend.

_liftnlove

People treat me COMPLEEEEETELY differently, particularly men, but it has no impact on me. They see me, but don't see me. I know who loves me for me, and that's what matters.

I'm more confident, but not nearly as much as some people think. People stop me randomly in stores and talk to me about working out--that never happened when I was fat--though I can't say I blame them for that!! :laugh:

I actually DON'T think I'm the same person now that I was when I was overweight...but that has to do with many other things that have happened in my life, not just the weight loss...But I am still really introverted and shy, even though people don't treat me that way anymore.

manda79rn

What a great question... from personal experience it's both. People treat me differently but it also may be because of the vibe I put off now. I'm happier with who I am, much more confident, which I always tried to be but it was very much an act when I was unhappy with my weight.

I remember about three years ago, I had a friend (who is now probably my best friend in the world) talk to me, she's married to one of my husbands best friends and she asked me one day.. "Why didn't you want to hang out before? We all loved being around you so much but you never wanted to hang out." And I thought about it and realized that it was about my weight, even though I was in denial and always acted the happy "fat girl" I hid.. a lot and didn't put myself out there. And it was never anything she did or they did it was all me.

Of course I've noticed people treat me different and I always take it as a compliment BUT it may be because I'm more approachable now and not trying to "blend in" and able to be the girl on the outside that I've always been on the inside. I was always a fit girl trapped in my fat outer shell.

skinnyinnotime

Yes, I have gotten so much free stuff since getting into shape. Disclaimer: I'm not saying I'm hot. But things just happen that haven't happened in a while. I was in an accident last year, and one of the police officers gave me my excuse. I had a $2,500 car repair, and the manager told the cashier to only charge me $1,200. I got free tires. (hmmm I see a trend lol). Yes I totally appreciate it, and no I never expect it. It really takes me by surprise. The minute I expect it, I'm sure it will disappear.

I just don't think it was my confidence level that got my that stuff. :laugh:

What do you mean by a police officer 'gave you an excuse'?

Dr1nkbleachndye

I'm not trying to come off as abrasive here, but this topic is almost irrelevant when pertaining to women. Women lose weight, and get into shape, and bam, the attention, and the way people (especially men) treat them is completely different. It is a given for women. Human nature like acpgee said is superficial. Guys are going to pay more attention to you, there's a high chance if you are out random guys will buy you drinks, hit on you and give you all sorts of free stuff.

For a man on the other hand, it's completely different because no one is going to give you free stuff lol. There is no monetary advantage to being an aesthetic man over being an aesthetic woman. In fact a woman who is less in shape than a man as far a comparsons go will still more than likely get a ton more attention than a man. There's also no guarentee you will get hit on, you could come off as intimidating, and most men aren't expecting a woman to hit on them. The advantage you have being in shape as a man is that you look good, and aren't carrying a lot of bodyfat, so you are healthier. But only to an extent, even though I lost 45 lbs since Feb of this year, I have done ZERO CARDIO. But that was done to prove a point that getting in shape is mainly about dieting and lifting weights.

Yes I get a lot more attention now, from women, and dudes. Women notice me in the superficial sense. I am the kind of person who likes to help people. There are people at my gym who I would like to help get in shape. Who have been going to the gym consistently while I have lost all this weight. They have seen the transformation I have made, and I catch a lot of them staring at me while I working out. There will be people who will specifically wait for me to complete my set, before they start theirs, all because they are watching me while I do my set. Now I am not saying they are watching me because they are admirers lol, I have no idea what they are thinking, but they are blatantly watching me, and it's a pretty large amount of people that I catch doing this. My point here was, I know how hard it is to get into shape. It isnt easy when you dont know what you are doing, I wish it wouldnt be considered awkward for me to offer free training/nutrition advice to these people, just out of the fact that I see how much effort these people put into their workouts. I can tell by how hard they workout that their diet is what is keeping them from reaching their goals, because most of the people who see me regularly know I do absolutely no cardio. But such is life I guess.

The good thing is though, people I work with started asking me for advice now that I have done a serious transformation, and it feels good because even though the only reason they take me seriously in the first place, is the superficial reason, its reassuring to know I have accomplished enough to where people feel like they should be asking me for advice.

JanaCanada

Good Lord, yes, I am a different person! I LIKE ME NOW! I didn't like my fat self at all before. And because of that, I wasn't always the most pleasant person to be around. :embarassed:

I hated...haaaaated...how invisible my obesity made me, and how insensitive and rude people were to me. And because of all that ill-treatment, I became bitter and resentful. I hated people, and going out into the world among them. But when I was forced to, I was a sarcastic, ill-tempered, self-righteous beyotch, always poised for the fight and ready to claw eyes out. :explode: Who wants to be around that?!?! :huh:

My mom used to say that miserable people are their own worst enemy. So true! But what I learned is that miserable people are also hurting people, and that's a huge part of why they are the way they are. Heal the hurt, and watch a butterfly emerge from a dark cocoon.

My hurt started as a sexually abused child, and food became my best friend. Long story short, I found healing for my damaged inner child through my relationship with Jesus Christ, and with His help, I then found the will to do something about my weight.

Now, I like me, and because I like me, other people like me. I no longer carry that dreadful burden of hate - for myself and for society in general - and I am a kinder, gentler person. My inner rage has been replaced by compassion, and the tiger has been replaced by a puddycat. I found my sense of humour and willingness to forgive myself and others.

So, in conclusion, to answer the OP's qyestion, yes - people no longer recognize me, but not so much because of my weight loss. It's mostly because I am no longer the scary, sad, miserable person I was....thank God! :flowerforyou:

ereck44

Awesome topic!

Most of the comments from other people are "how did you do it?" or "you look great" or "I didn't recognize you at first". When I tell people that I lost it from portion control, calorie count, and exercise, they look disappointed. I think that they are looking for the latest fad diet or supplement (like I once did).

The biggest change is internal. I feel so happy now. I can face and meet the challenges of life. I can deal with stress better than I ever have.

I haven't met my weight loss goal but I have no doubt that I will meet it. It's just a matter of when. In fact, I've started making fitness goals.

mrspinky85

When I joined the Army over 7 years ago I lost over 80 pounds from the time I signed throughout basic combat training or boot camp. People back home talked behind my back and spread rumors I was on drugs, had cancer, or aids among the people who didn't know I went to the military. Through the next 5 years people said I looked freaky and weird to them even family. Fast forward to 2011 and I gained all or more of my military weight back after having my son. Now I am back to where I started. I get comments like, "the old Niki is back" and you look normal again. I guess these are suppose to be comments but I don't know how me being overweight and unhealthy can be a good thing.

The only difference at this weight now instead of the first timee is that I know I can loose it. Some people will have something to say no matter what you do. I say, don't worry about others just do you. Congrats on all those who lost weight and I hope to join you all soon!

manda79rn

I'm not trying to come off as abrasive here, but this topic is almost irrelevant when pertaining to women. Women lose weight, and get into shape, and bam, the attention, and the way people (especially men) treat them is completely different. It is a given for women. Human nature like acpgee said is superficial. Guys are going to pay more attention to you, there's a high chance if you are out random guys will buy you drinks, hit on you and give you all sorts of free stuff.

For a man on the other hand, it's completely different because no one is going to give you free stuff lol. There is no monetary advantage to being an aesthetic man over being an aesthetic woman. In fact a woman who is less in shape than a man as far a comparsons go will still more than likely get a ton more attention than a man. There's also no guarentee you will get hit on, you could come off as intimidating, and most men aren't expecting a woman to hit on them. The advantage you have being in shape as a man is that you look good, and aren't carrying a lot of bodyfat, so you are healthier. But only to an extent, even though I lost 45 lbs since Feb of this year, I have done ZERO CARDIO. But that was done to prove a point that getting in shape is mainly about dieting and lifting weights.

Yes I get a lot more attention now, from women, and dudes. Women notice me in the superficial sense. I am the kind of person who likes to help people. There are people at my gym who I would like to help get in shape. Who have been going to the gym consistently while I have lost all this weight. They have seen the transformation I have made, and I catch a lot of them staring at me while I working out. There will be people who will specifically wait for me to complete my set, before they start theirs, all because they are watching me while I do my set. Now I am not saying they are watching me because they are admirers lol, I have no idea what they are thinking, but they are blatantly watching me, and it's a pretty large amount of people that I catch doing this. My point here was, I know how hard it is to get into shape. It isnt easy when you dont know what you are doing, I wish it wouldnt be considered awkward for me to offer free training/nutrition advice to these people, just out of the fact that I see how much effort these people put into their workouts. I can tell by how hard they workout that their diet is what is keeping them from reaching their goals, because most of the people who see me regularly know I do absolutely no cardio. But such is life I guess.

The good thing is though, people I work with started asking me for advice now that I have done a serious transformation, and it feels good because even though the only reason they take me seriously in the first place, is the superficial reason, its reassuring to know I have accomplished enough to where people feel like they should be asking me for advice.

I'm not sure if you want anything free from where I work (RN in L&D) but hey.. I'll give you something free if you come by. Just sayin.

Seriously though, I think you make a good point.. there are some definite advantages to being female.