Exercise for woman with naturally big shoulders?

Italiangrey

My ex always commented on my shoulders and arms and how if I kept strength training/kept doing martial arts would make me look like a man for example. I am not saying everybody is like this. But this idea that the woman has to be delicate to be beautiful. Many men and women I know still think like this.

FACE PALM
I am having trouble figuring why you're changing your body based on what your EX said.

And if youre telling me that women with muscles look like men, no they dont. The definition of a woman has changed and you need to stop living in the 50s

thas right and its offensive

laureni443

I was just giving you crap earlier, i actually do agree that women who are more muscular than average are manly and look weird. I'm sorry that you have man shoulders. You need to atrophy them to get them smaller.

I dont like the butch look at all. I like women to look like women.

TaurusV

I do pull ups and Insane 4x week. I have always been able to do most manly exercises. I am not saying is A BAD thing girls. Dont get me wrong. I want to be strong and healthy. BUT bodybuilder is not my profession, and I dont enjoy stupid men jokes behind your back in the office. I know I think my EX was kinda sexist, maybe cause he didnt want a woman to be stronger than him. But I had this self conscious thing since I was like 10.

My sister did ballet, my mom wanted me to do it and I ran away from it in the 1st week. I always asked her to let me do martial arts, had to wait till I was 18 to do it myself! Where I lived in childhood and even living in a new country these stereotypes about women are so strong.

I never meant to say is not a good thing. I just dont want to have big manly shoulders, specially because my legs dont accompany the rest of upper body, like my dad body.

That pic of that girl is amazing, but sadly I dont know how I would pull it up even, if I personally liked it, around the people that has been around me. Is like I attract these people.

TaurusV

..

TaurusV

Awful ....just awful ....someone should tell her she look manly


image by yanicka.hachez, on Flickr

Zomg that's my dream body. That and a pic of Jillian Michaels

Watchout OP say she a man lol and thats just society

Wow, thanks for bullying me. I never said I THINK we women with large shoulder and arms are men. I said that I have been bullied because of it sometimes and sadly I didnt grow up/live in the same community as you.

TaurusV

I swam my whole life, and I still do. I definitely have big shoulders and arms, but they give me strength enough to pull off some pretty nice poses in yoga these days.

I have been on the receiving end of a few snide remarks from *kitten* guys in the past, but you just have to look at the source.

I love to swim. I love yoga. They both make me who I am today. I would never even consider giving up either because of someone's perceptions of shoulders that are "too masculine" for a female.

Thanks for the support and understanding it. So much bad comments. I am not part of a bodybuilding community or a supportive group, and those remarks or being bullied by school boys for something you cant change is so bad. I love yoga too, but I still didnt let myself go swimming as an exercise, maybe I will, and see what happens. I hope I can become like you and just ignore or understand is jealousy.

samammay

FWIW, there isnt a sane guy in the world that is going to think you are manly, based on your profile pic.

As for what guys might say... do you really care what drivel some moron who isnt good enough for you thinks? Inferior guys(people) use insults to try to bring others to their level so they have a shot with them.

The only person who can let you feel bad about anything is you.

Rock those shoulders and ignore the haters. You are better than they are. Not to be a snob or anything, but if they were anything, they wouldnt need to say anything mean.

Irenaekl

I have very broad shoulders as does my sister - there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. I can feel every bone in my shoulder joints and no matter how much weight i lose it ain't gonna change.

Neither my sister nor I look in the least 'manly'. Stop dwelling on what some stupid 'ex' said and do the activities YOU want to do....you're doing this for you not for him!

neandermagnon

No exercise can change your genetics. If you want to swim, go swim and if you get big shoulders, well rock them. I love having muscular shoulders because they balance my pear shape.

i agree

and I'm guessing that I'm shorter than you OP and also have bigger shoulders than you, purely on the fact that I'm shorter than most women and have bigger shoulders than most women too. 5'1" and 44" shoulder circumference. My body fat percentage is in the healthy range and I have muscle definition in my arms and shoulders, so it's not from fat.

I my big shoulders and big rib cage.

Seriously, you can't change your genetics, and if a man feels he should be stronger than his female partner, then it's on him to get in the gym and make it so (he has the testosterone advantage, so it's not an unrealistic goal for him, unless he's dating a women's powerlifting champion or something), it's quite pathetic for him to get all insecure and expect you to get weaker on his behalf. Tell him to grow a pair, basically. You be as strong as you want to be, and seriously there are some amazing looking women who have big shoulders, and there have been a lot of times where it was fashionable for women to wear shoulder pads under their clothes to make their shoulders look bigger. when I was younger a lot of people commented that my shoulders were good because I wouldn't need to wear shoulder pads on jackets, etc. I know fashions change, but the point is that most people don't think that wide shoulders are unattractive on women.

As for people talking about you in a bad way in the office - this isn't because of how you look, it's because some people always have to find something to criticise in others and gossip about. If it wasn't your shoulders, they'd find something else about you to attack instead, because that's a character flaw in them. You mustn't change yourself, especially don't try to make yourself weaker or avoid getting as strong as you want to be, to please petty minded, immature people who have nothing better to do with their lives than gossip about others.....

cmeiron

Why is it that you equate strength and visible muscles with "manliness"? Women can be strong and muscular too - it doesn't make them any less of a woman. Don't let your desire to be fit, healthy and strong - or your desire to participate in a sport you enjoy - be stymied by something your @rse of an ex said.

0OneTwo3

i think you are focusing to much on details OP.

But if you want to change the way you look so bad than there is no reason to give up on healthy activities you enjoy.
Just build up your lower body to change your proportions so the wide shoulders are offset (broad shoulders can actually help women get a feminin hourglass shape.). perceived attractiveness is all about ratios not the measurements of your arms.
but more important than all of that is that you look and feel the way you want to.

neandermagnon

Why is it that you equate strength and visible muscles with "manliness"? Women can be strong and muscular too - it doesn't make them any less of a woman. Don't let your desire to be fit, healthy and strong - or your desire to participate in a sport you enjoy - be stymied by something your @rse of an ex said.

^^^ all of this

TaurusV

No exercise can change your genetics. If you want to swim, go swim and if you get big shoulders, well rock them. I love having muscular shoulders because they balance my pear shape.

i agree

and I'm guessing that I'm shorter than you OP and also have bigger shoulders than you, purely on the fact that I'm shorter than most women and have bigger shoulders than most women too. 5'1" and 44" shoulder circumference. My body fat percentage is in the healthy range and I have muscle definition in my arms and shoulders, so it's not from fat.

I my big shoulders and big rib cage.

Seriously, you can't change your genetics, and if a man feels he should be stronger than his female partner, then it's on him to get in the gym and make it so (he has the testosterone advantage, so it's not an unrealistic goal for him, unless he's dating a women's powerlifting champion or something), it's quite pathetic for him to get all insecure and expect you to get weaker on his behalf. Tell him to grow a pair, basically. You be as strong as you want to be, and seriously there are some amazing looking women who have big shoulders, and there have been a lot of times where it was fashionable for women to wear shoulder pads under their clothes to make their shoulders look bigger. when I was younger a lot of people commented that my shoulders were good because I wouldn't need to wear shoulder pads on jackets, etc. I know fashions change, but the point is that most people don't think that wide shoulders are unattractive on women.

As for people talking about you in a bad way in the office - this isn't because of how you look, it's because some people always have to find something to criticise in others and gossip about. If it wasn't your shoulders, they'd find something else about you to attack instead, because that's a character flaw in them. You mustn't change yourself, especially don't try to make yourself weaker or avoid getting as strong as you want to be, to please petty minded, immature people who have nothing better to do with their lives than gossip about others.....

Thank you for the support, you are very similar to me, I have 5'2 and 45 shoulder circumference, but I also have big and short arms. I was in this relationship for some years and also my whole family (mom, sister, aunts) thinks women should be ballet thin shoulders long slender feminine and I never fit in my whole life. Maybe I should involve myself with people that appreciate things that I appreciate and value. Thanks for the encouragement!

TaurusV

i think you are focusing to much on details OP.

But if you want to change the way you look so bad than there is no reason to give up on healthy activities you enjoy.
Just build up your lower body to change your proportions so the wide shoulders are offset (broad shoulders can actually help women get a feminin hourglass shape.). perceived attractiveness is all about ratios not the measurements of your arms.
but more important than all of that is that you look and feel the way you want to.

I tried many sports/gym to thicken legs, my legs are those stick thin, specially if I am on the thinner side of the scale. They get toned but not big. It happens since I was a kid and became more disproportionate after teenage:



You are right guys, I think is a family inbred prejudice and wrong companies that makes me think that way. I wont hide I am still afraid of getting bigger shoulders in swimming.

susannamarie

OP, I really wouldn't worry about them becoming excessively large from swimming. If they start getting larger than you would like, cut down.

I do know what it's like to not be 'good enough' for your family. My father has a very large, muscular build (even for a man) and my mother had the slender, waif-like look that your family finds so attractive. I took after my father. I have broad shoulders, and extremely muscular legs. I cannot fit many suits and shirts because I cannot fit them over my shoulders, even when they fit fine around.

My mother had a BMI under 16 (I kid you not) when she was in her late teens and early 20s. She was not anorexic, but just naturally very slight, lean, and small ribcage, slender build. So she has very unrealistic ideas about what people ought to weigh. As a matter of fact, she thinks 115 would be a good weight for me (I am 5' 9" or 5' 10" depending on the day -- I have had my lean mass measured and it is in the mid 130s). I will never look the way she thinks I ought to look, and I had to learn to be okay with that.

I'm currently lifting to build even more muscle ... for martial arts.

I guess my moral here is that you should work hard on emphasizing the good points of the body you have and not wishing for the body of your family. You should also find a man who appreciates it, and not (sorry) a frigging wimp who is threatened by a strong woman.

TaurusV

OP, I really wouldn't worry about them becoming excessively large from swimming. If they start getting larger than you would like, cut down.

I do know what it's like to not be 'good enough' for your family. My father has a very large, muscular build (even for a man) and my mother had the slender, waif-like look that your family finds so attractive. I took after my father. I have broad shoulders, and extremely muscular legs. I cannot fit many suits and shirts because I cannot fit them over my shoulders, even when they fit fine around.

My mother had a BMI under 16 (I kid you not) when she was in her late teens and early 20s. She was not anorexic, but just naturally very slight, lean, and small ribcage, slender build. So she has very unrealistic ideas about what people ought to weigh. As a matter of fact, she thinks 115 would be a good weight for me (I am 5' 9" or 5' 10" depending on the day -- I have had my lean mass measured and it is in the mid 130s). I will never look the way she thinks I ought to look, and I had to learn to be okay with that.

I'm currently lifting to build even more muscle ... for martial arts.

I guess my moral here is that you should work hard on emphasizing the good points of the body you have and not wishing for the body of your family. You should also find a man who appreciates it, and not (sorry) a frigging wimp who is threatened by a strong woman.

Hey, Susannamarie, I think I know exactly like you feel, my mom tried to make me like ballet and those dances till I was 15 and I never liked, she never let my dad give me a bike to run with the boys of the street cause they were mostly males and I should like ballet, like my other sister. But my sister is like thin shoulders and large hips and legs.

When I was 17 I tried to diet to fit in but was the worse time I felt and I still had huge shoulders but with bones, so I gave up on this and started martial arts and bought me a bike What martial arts you are practicing right now. I did aikido for years and kc boxing in the past. Can you believe I didnt keep on the practice because of this guy. You are right, shouldn't let others define who we are. Will try swimming and if I like and feels good, only we should decide, not our past mantras we grew in.

susannamarie

What martial arts you are practicing right now. I did aikido for years and kc boxing in the past. Can you believe I didnt keep on the practice because of this guy. You are right, shouldn't let others define who we are. Will try swimming and if I like and feels good, only we should decide, not our past mantras we grew in.

Oh wow, we are twins I have done Aikido for several years, but just moved and there is no dojo here. I started doing Judo for now.

TaurusV

What martial arts you are practicing right now. I did aikido for years and kc boxing in the past. Can you believe I didnt keep on the practice because of this guy. You are right, shouldn't let others define who we are. Will try swimming and if I like and feels good, only we should decide, not our past mantras we grew in.

Oh wow, we are twins I have done Aikido for several years, but just moved and there is no dojo here. I started doing Judo for now.

Lol. I moved very far right now too and still didnt find a dojo around. I am thinking of joining a Karate one or just keep doing yoga videos at home. I like DDP or Insane too. Aikido is so good for mind and body, I felt like steel made when i practiced. Hope you are liking judo!

0OneTwo3

i think you are focusing to much on details OP.

But if you want to change the way you look so bad than there is no reason to give up on healthy activities you enjoy.
Just build up your lower body to change your proportions so the wide shoulders are offset (broad shoulders can actually help women get a feminin hourglass shape.). perceived attractiveness is all about ratios not the measurements of your arms.
but more important than all of that is that you look and feel the way you want to.

I tried many sports/gym to thicken legs, my legs are those stick thin, specially if I am on the thinner side of the scale. They get toned but not big. It happens since I was a kid and became more disproportionate after teenage:



You are right guys, I think is a family inbred prejudice and wrong companies that makes me think that way. I wont hide I am still afraid of getting bigger shoulders in swimming.

squats and deadlifts. change it up in the 5-15 rep range and keep effort and weights high and your legs will grow. just be patient give it a few months.

edit: you will also need a small caloric surplus.

bcattoes

Awful ....just awful ....someone should tell her she look manly


image by yanicka.hachez, on Flickr

This may not be what the OP is talking about though. A couple of my aunts have disproportionately large shoulders. It's not about muscle, it's genetic. One was actually questioned by the police because she fit the description of a bank robbery suspect that turned out to be a man in drag!

OP, if you want to swim, than swim. I doubt 2 days a week will make you much bigger. You might also was to consider doing thing like weighted squats, lunges, dead lifts to build up your lower body and even things out a bit.