what are some things that will spice up a relationship

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  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    this is totally normal, i think most relationships are like this sometimes.

    i would say,
    - cut down on drudgery (housework, etc) - find a way to be more efficient about it or pay someone if that's within your means (not all the time, but if every weekend is full of housework and grind, once in a while it's not a bad idea to catch a break)
    - shorten your commute, same idea
    - find some non-sex-related activities you can do together, so you can have enjoyable shared time with no pressure for sex. (if you have been pressing and he is resentful). anything, softball, whatever, just try to make space for more good times all over, whenever you can. the goal is to see each other as something other than roommates and have fun
    - it's so personal, but, don't make it personal, you know?
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    we do text a lot or at least when im at work because I can do it more than he can. as far as going to random places we haven't done that in a few years and those were the things that kept it fun but its like hes aged into this old man who doesn't want to have a good time anymore and its boring me. ive told him this. ill see a change for awhile then he'll go back into sleep mode....so annoying

    does he hate his job?
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
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    Is this guy the father of your children? Because if he is, and you don't have an actual problem with him, you should stay and let him be who he is.

    But what you do need to do, far more than sexting or any of that stuff (that doesn't last) is arrange social events that have him in them. Organise some shared memories. Have an event every week. Advertise at the local high school for a babysitter, and one night a week go out to a pub quiz, or darts, or something. Or maybe one day a week have brunch with the children at a cafe.

    One day you will be seventy and you will not be spectacularly interesting any more yourself. Take the long view. Will you have these schedules forever? Because if he's your life partner then a clashing schedule for five years or so is absolutely neither here nor there.

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