Why does everyone seem to be doing better then me?

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soulgirl26
soulgirl26 Posts: 5 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm very unmotivated at the moment. I've lost 24 pounds in two months and not only am I feeling unaccomplished, especially considering that on this websites' home page they have people boasting (rightfully so) that they have lost twice as much as me in the same amout of time, but also in the fact that no one has noticed. I understand that it's only important for me to notice the difference, but it's disheartening to think that I could gain 24 pounds right now and no one would notice that either. I just wonder if people will only see me as "fat".

I know this is a bit of a pity party, I guess I'm just reminding myself to keep at it, "It's not a sprint, it's a marathon." Anyway, any stories of how you seem to stay with it would be greatly appreciated.
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Replies

  • thesophierose
    thesophierose Posts: 754 Member
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    I can lose and gain 15lbs and look the same. You are doing so great, 24 pounds is such an accomplishment that YOU should be so proud of. People will see a difference, just give it time. People notice the confidence before they notice the actual weight loss.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    I lost 4 pounds in 8 months, so you're doing better than me. It isn't how fast you lose it. It's whether you maintain your new weight. For most people, 12 pounds a month would be too much to be a realistic goal.

    P.S. The only people who have ever commented on my weight loss were my sister, my doctor, and a skeazy guy I knew from 30 years ago who found me on the internet and started hitting on me. Other than that, nada. Don't be discouraged. Just stick with your goals.
  • ElliottTN
    ElliottTN Posts: 1,614 Member
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    I know it can really be frustrating but honestly the only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. Just keep you head down and keep working, there will plenty of time to compare results after you have reached your goal. Until then, you are still in the fight so stay focused.
  • asauer
    asauer Posts: 2 Member
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    I think it's awesome that you've lost that much weight! I myself haven't had any luck with losing weight recently, but I have a bunch of friends who have (so I totally relate to feeling like everyone else is doing better) and it seems like there is always a point where people suddenly notice, and it's usually after 24 pounds. For me, 20 pounds would be just one dress size, so that wouldn't be as noticable. Keep up the good work and it will pay off!
  • bkw99508
    bkw99508 Posts: 204 Member
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    I'm actually thinking that losing 24 lbs in 2 months is AWESOME!!!
  • CherylP67
    CherylP67 Posts: 772 Member
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    It took losing 30 pounds for people to notice. I kept plugging away for me.

    Next time you're at the store, grab a 25 pound bag of potatoes and carry them around the entire shopping trip. You will quickly see what you have done for yourself.

    I figured I must have carried my weight well.

    Edited to fix typo
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,293 Member
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    ?? that is almost 3lbs/week, most people just aim for 1-2 lbs/week, so not sure why you are thinking this
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    because you shouldn't be comparing yourself to anyone else.... Strive to be better than yourself and no one else.
  • Cheechos
    Cheechos Posts: 293
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    People around you probably don't notice because they see you all the time. Wait until you have a get-together with old friends or something. They will definitely say something. A good way to track the visual progress yourself is to take photos of your body and compare them as the weight drops. You probably won't see anything in the mirror on a day to day basis, but whipping out a month old picture and comparing it to the one you snapped that morning will show you a difference.

    Also, don't worry about how much faster someone has done something. Your health and goals aren't a competition. Just focus on what you're doing and know that you're 24 lbs lighter than you were before. That's a big deal, friend. Keep it up.
  • sharleengc
    sharleengc Posts: 792 Member
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    I have felt the same way. I think the best thing to do is remember that everyone looses differently. I do not lose quickly. It doesn't matter what my weight loss goal is (2lbs a week, 1lb a week...whatever). I can pretty much plan on my weight loss taking longer than that. I've discovered that I lose in "clumps" as in nothing for 2-3 weeks then I drop like 3-5lbs in a week then nothing for 2-3 weeks and drop a clump. I don't need to change anything, this is just the way I lose. Sometimes the clumps are smaller but on average it's pretty similar to that.

    If you're worried, I'd keep an active eye on patterns. I've been at this for a little over 2 years and there are many people that have lost twice the amount that I have in that time frame. But, I just look at it as I'm still losing and have been able not to gain it back so I should be able to maintain it when I reach my goal without a problem. I think sometimes when people lose quickly, they have a harder time gaining it back too.

    Side note, I don't notice anything until I hit 30lbs gone and I'm just starting to see the next 30 gone in myself.
  • rprobbins
    rprobbins Posts: 12
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    It took losing 30 pounds for people to notice. I kept plugging away for me.

    Next time you're at the store, grab a 25 pound bag of potatoes and carry them around the entire shopping trip. You will quickly see what you have done for yourself.

    I figured I must have carried my weight well.

    Edited to fix typo

    Same for me at 30lbs everyone noticed how much weight I lost, at 25lbs I got looks from co-workers like i was lying.... Odd, but true...

    I have heard that at 10lbs your parnter can tell the difference, at 20lbs your family can, at 30lbs everyone else...

    Hang in there, you will make it....
  • thebrowns2004
    thebrowns2004 Posts: 5 Member
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    What I wouldn't give to lose 24lbs in 2 months. I have lost 40 but it's taken me 8 months to make that happen. And believe me I'm working hard at the gym and tracking what I eat. If it makes you feel any better not even a hand full of people have noticed my 40lb loss. Being 6ft (woman) it comes off of all sorts of places so not many notice. I get it. But think of all the other people doing the same hard work, but who haven't lost as much as you but who are still pushing on. Decide NOW to stick with it until you reach your goal, NO MATTER WHAT. Be relentless.
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
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    24lbs in 2 months is extremely high; realistically too fast in my opinion. I don't know who these people are who are losing weight faster than that but I wouldn't envy them or want to be them. That is too much and will almost certainly result in failure.
  • septembergrrl
    septembergrrl Posts: 168 Member
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    24 in two months would be incredible. I'm at 12 in just under that.

    Honestly I wouldn't worry too much about what anybody else does or says they did. It's the internet, half of us are lying anyhow.
  • ajlandon
    ajlandon Posts: 115 Member
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    I know this is a bit of a pity party, I guess I'm just reminding myself to keep at it, "It's not a sprint, it's a marathon." Anyway, any stories of how you seem to stay with it would be greatly appreciated.

    It took me 12-16 months to lose 40 lbs. It helped to focus on other physical accomplishments, too (deadlift PRs, hiking greater distances/higher elevations, sprinting faster, gaining energy, not getting winded going up stairs, etc).

    People started noticing after I lost about 30 lbs, or at least no one said anything until then.
  • CA_Emily
    CA_Emily Posts: 12 Member
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    Congrats! 24 lbs lost in 2 months is huge. I would love to lose that much weight so quickly!

    People may have noticed and just not said anything.

    I've noticed several people around me have lost weight. They are acquaintances or co-workers and we are friendly, but not really friends. I want to say something about how great they look and I can really tell they've lost weight, but that seems so personal that I haven't said anything. I don't want any of them to think that they looked bad before because they didn't, but I would like to recognize their weight loss. I just haven't said anything because I'm not quite sure what to say. People may have noticed your weight loss too, but may not be sure how to go about congratulating you on it.
  • joyincincy
    joyincincy Posts: 228 Member
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    Are you wearing the same clothes you were 24 lbs ago? If so, those clothes might be hiding your weight loss. I know I have a pair of capris right now that hide some of my weight loss b/c they are too big on me, but I am keeping them for now as they make for a great outdoors/chores pant.

    BTW - I only wish I lost 24 in 2 months! WTG!
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
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    People seem to be doing better, because you are comparing yourself to them. Comparison is the thief of joy! Just look at what you have accomplished, and only strive to be better than who you were yesterday :wink: .
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    1) 24 pounds in two months is AMAZING!! Stop being so negative and think about what a fantastic accomplishment that is and all the hard work you've put in to get there. Then give yourself a big pat on the back and smile!

    2) STOP comparing yourself to others. Look, here's the deal...you don't know what they did to lose the weight. Did they go on some sort of extreme diet? Did they get weight loss surgery? And to top it off, this is the internet, you need to take everything with a grain of salt. Who knows if they're exaggerating?

    3) As others said, people may have noticed but may just be keeping it to themselves. Some people are weird about giving compliments - whether they're too petty to be nice enough or they think maybe you're sick so they shouldn't compliment you. Who knows why else...people are strange. Are you telling people that you're on a diet and/or exercising? If not, bring it up when appropriate and maybe they'll feel more comfortable complimenting you. And for those that know, are you keeping them up to date with your losses?

    Give yourself another pat on the back and smile again! :)
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
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    1. Stop comparing yourself to others. Unless they are your genetic clone, there is no way that 2 people are going to get identical results.

    2. People will begin to notice your weight loss at about the 10% mark. So, if you are 200 pounds, that means people will begin to see it after you've lost 20 pounds.

    3. If you are seeing the same people week in and week out, the changes are so slow that it is tough to make a comparison. It's like watching your own children growing, mostly you don't notice it on a day to day basis. But when you go the the annual family reunion, everyone else's kids seem to have sprung up like weeds.

    4. Most people won't notice the weight loss until you buy some new clothes that show off your slender new figure. Hell, I didn't notice my own weight loss until I bought some new clothes. I kept getting confused by the reflection in the fitting rooms, because oddly the mirrors all seemed to be showing me as much thinner than my own mirror at home. Yeah, I'm not too bright sometimes.

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