Why does everyone seem to be doing better then me?
soulgirl26
Posts: 5 Member
I'm very unmotivated at the moment. I've lost 24 pounds in two months and not only am I feeling unaccomplished, especially considering that on this websites' home page they have people boasting (rightfully so) that they have lost twice as much as me in the same amout of time, but also in the fact that no one has noticed. I understand that it's only important for me to notice the difference, but it's disheartening to think that I could gain 24 pounds right now and no one would notice that either. I just wonder if people will only see me as "fat".
I know this is a bit of a pity party, I guess I'm just reminding myself to keep at it, "It's not a sprint, it's a marathon." Anyway, any stories of how you seem to stay with it would be greatly appreciated.
I know this is a bit of a pity party, I guess I'm just reminding myself to keep at it, "It's not a sprint, it's a marathon." Anyway, any stories of how you seem to stay with it would be greatly appreciated.
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Replies
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I can lose and gain 15lbs and look the same. You are doing so great, 24 pounds is such an accomplishment that YOU should be so proud of. People will see a difference, just give it time. People notice the confidence before they notice the actual weight loss.0
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I lost 4 pounds in 8 months, so you're doing better than me. It isn't how fast you lose it. It's whether you maintain your new weight. For most people, 12 pounds a month would be too much to be a realistic goal.
P.S. The only people who have ever commented on my weight loss were my sister, my doctor, and a skeazy guy I knew from 30 years ago who found me on the internet and started hitting on me. Other than that, nada. Don't be discouraged. Just stick with your goals.0 -
I know it can really be frustrating but honestly the only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. Just keep you head down and keep working, there will plenty of time to compare results after you have reached your goal. Until then, you are still in the fight so stay focused.0
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I think it's awesome that you've lost that much weight! I myself haven't had any luck with losing weight recently, but I have a bunch of friends who have (so I totally relate to feeling like everyone else is doing better) and it seems like there is always a point where people suddenly notice, and it's usually after 24 pounds. For me, 20 pounds would be just one dress size, so that wouldn't be as noticable. Keep up the good work and it will pay off!0
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I'm actually thinking that losing 24 lbs in 2 months is AWESOME!!!0
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It took losing 30 pounds for people to notice. I kept plugging away for me.
Next time you're at the store, grab a 25 pound bag of potatoes and carry them around the entire shopping trip. You will quickly see what you have done for yourself.
I figured I must have carried my weight well.
Edited to fix typo0 -
?? that is almost 3lbs/week, most people just aim for 1-2 lbs/week, so not sure why you are thinking this0
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because you shouldn't be comparing yourself to anyone else.... Strive to be better than yourself and no one else.0
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People around you probably don't notice because they see you all the time. Wait until you have a get-together with old friends or something. They will definitely say something. A good way to track the visual progress yourself is to take photos of your body and compare them as the weight drops. You probably won't see anything in the mirror on a day to day basis, but whipping out a month old picture and comparing it to the one you snapped that morning will show you a difference.
Also, don't worry about how much faster someone has done something. Your health and goals aren't a competition. Just focus on what you're doing and know that you're 24 lbs lighter than you were before. That's a big deal, friend. Keep it up.0 -
I have felt the same way. I think the best thing to do is remember that everyone looses differently. I do not lose quickly. It doesn't matter what my weight loss goal is (2lbs a week, 1lb a week...whatever). I can pretty much plan on my weight loss taking longer than that. I've discovered that I lose in "clumps" as in nothing for 2-3 weeks then I drop like 3-5lbs in a week then nothing for 2-3 weeks and drop a clump. I don't need to change anything, this is just the way I lose. Sometimes the clumps are smaller but on average it's pretty similar to that.
If you're worried, I'd keep an active eye on patterns. I've been at this for a little over 2 years and there are many people that have lost twice the amount that I have in that time frame. But, I just look at it as I'm still losing and have been able not to gain it back so I should be able to maintain it when I reach my goal without a problem. I think sometimes when people lose quickly, they have a harder time gaining it back too.
Side note, I don't notice anything until I hit 30lbs gone and I'm just starting to see the next 30 gone in myself.0 -
It took losing 30 pounds for people to notice. I kept plugging away for me.
Next time you're at the store, grab a 25 pound bag of potatoes and carry them around the entire shopping trip. You will quickly see what you have done for yourself.
I figured I must have carried my weight well.
Edited to fix typo
Same for me at 30lbs everyone noticed how much weight I lost, at 25lbs I got looks from co-workers like i was lying.... Odd, but true...
I have heard that at 10lbs your parnter can tell the difference, at 20lbs your family can, at 30lbs everyone else...
Hang in there, you will make it....0 -
What I wouldn't give to lose 24lbs in 2 months. I have lost 40 but it's taken me 8 months to make that happen. And believe me I'm working hard at the gym and tracking what I eat. If it makes you feel any better not even a hand full of people have noticed my 40lb loss. Being 6ft (woman) it comes off of all sorts of places so not many notice. I get it. But think of all the other people doing the same hard work, but who haven't lost as much as you but who are still pushing on. Decide NOW to stick with it until you reach your goal, NO MATTER WHAT. Be relentless.0
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24lbs in 2 months is extremely high; realistically too fast in my opinion. I don't know who these people are who are losing weight faster than that but I wouldn't envy them or want to be them. That is too much and will almost certainly result in failure.0
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24 in two months would be incredible. I'm at 12 in just under that.
Honestly I wouldn't worry too much about what anybody else does or says they did. It's the internet, half of us are lying anyhow.0 -
I know this is a bit of a pity party, I guess I'm just reminding myself to keep at it, "It's not a sprint, it's a marathon." Anyway, any stories of how you seem to stay with it would be greatly appreciated.
It took me 12-16 months to lose 40 lbs. It helped to focus on other physical accomplishments, too (deadlift PRs, hiking greater distances/higher elevations, sprinting faster, gaining energy, not getting winded going up stairs, etc).
People started noticing after I lost about 30 lbs, or at least no one said anything until then.0 -
Congrats! 24 lbs lost in 2 months is huge. I would love to lose that much weight so quickly!
People may have noticed and just not said anything.
I've noticed several people around me have lost weight. They are acquaintances or co-workers and we are friendly, but not really friends. I want to say something about how great they look and I can really tell they've lost weight, but that seems so personal that I haven't said anything. I don't want any of them to think that they looked bad before because they didn't, but I would like to recognize their weight loss. I just haven't said anything because I'm not quite sure what to say. People may have noticed your weight loss too, but may not be sure how to go about congratulating you on it.0 -
Are you wearing the same clothes you were 24 lbs ago? If so, those clothes might be hiding your weight loss. I know I have a pair of capris right now that hide some of my weight loss b/c they are too big on me, but I am keeping them for now as they make for a great outdoors/chores pant.
BTW - I only wish I lost 24 in 2 months! WTG!0 -
People seem to be doing better, because you are comparing yourself to them. Comparison is the thief of joy! Just look at what you have accomplished, and only strive to be better than who you were yesterday
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1) 24 pounds in two months is AMAZING!! Stop being so negative and think about what a fantastic accomplishment that is and all the hard work you've put in to get there. Then give yourself a big pat on the back and smile!
2) STOP comparing yourself to others. Look, here's the deal...you don't know what they did to lose the weight. Did they go on some sort of extreme diet? Did they get weight loss surgery? And to top it off, this is the internet, you need to take everything with a grain of salt. Who knows if they're exaggerating?
3) As others said, people may have noticed but may just be keeping it to themselves. Some people are weird about giving compliments - whether they're too petty to be nice enough or they think maybe you're sick so they shouldn't compliment you. Who knows why else...people are strange. Are you telling people that you're on a diet and/or exercising? If not, bring it up when appropriate and maybe they'll feel more comfortable complimenting you. And for those that know, are you keeping them up to date with your losses?
Give yourself another pat on the back and smile again!
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1. Stop comparing yourself to others. Unless they are your genetic clone, there is no way that 2 people are going to get identical results.
2. People will begin to notice your weight loss at about the 10% mark. So, if you are 200 pounds, that means people will begin to see it after you've lost 20 pounds.
3. If you are seeing the same people week in and week out, the changes are so slow that it is tough to make a comparison. It's like watching your own children growing, mostly you don't notice it on a day to day basis. But when you go the the annual family reunion, everyone else's kids seem to have sprung up like weeds.
4. Most people won't notice the weight loss until you buy some new clothes that show off your slender new figure. Hell, I didn't notice my own weight loss until I bought some new clothes. I kept getting confused by the reflection in the fitting rooms, because oddly the mirrors all seemed to be showing me as much thinner than my own mirror at home. Yeah, I'm not too bright sometimes.0 -
This is not a spirnt but a marathon. Losing 24 in two months is a 3lb per week average. I personally think that is awesome progress. I think we all go through that feeling of wanting people to notice. The only thing is are you doing this for people to notice or are you doing for your personal health. I have myself thinking long as I see a loss on the scale at the end of the week it is a win. And like any War it takes many small victories to win the end fight.0
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because you keep *****ing and keep making excuses
In the words of Wil Wheaton....
Don't be a d!ck.0 -
I know it can really be frustrating but honestly the only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. Just keep you head down and keep working, there will plenty of time to compare results after you have reached your goal. Until then, you are still in the fight so stay focused.
GREAT advice!0 -
I'm very unmotivated at the moment. I've lost 24 pounds in two months and not only am I feeling unaccomplished, especially considering that on this websites' home page they have people boasting (rightfully so) that they have lost twice as much as me in the same amout of time, but also in the fact that no one has noticed. I understand that it's only important for me to notice the difference, but it's disheartening to think that I could gain 24 pounds right now and no one would notice that either. I just wonder if people will only see me as "fat".
I know this is a bit of a pity party, I guess I'm just reminding myself to keep at it, "It's not a sprint, it's a marathon." Anyway, any stories of how you seem to stay with it would be greatly appreciated.
WOW! 24lbs in 2 months is alot. Congrats on your success. I can totally understand your frustration. But stick with it! It will be worth it in the end0 -
I know it can really be frustrating but honestly the only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. Just keep you head down and keep working, there will plenty of time to compare results after you have reached your goal. Until then, you are still in the fight so stay focused.
GREAT advice!
I love this! I have to tell myself this0 -
What I wouldn't give to lose 24 lbs. in just 2 months! You must have a GREAT metabolism!
I couldn't see your food diary, but I hope you are at a good calorie count on a daily basis, as well as adding in a bit of cardio AND some strength training. Spark People has a great "do at your desk 15 min. workout".
If you are seeing a slow down, that is normal. You may want to check out the JJ Virgin book "The Virgin Diet". It talks about eliminating and identifying "inflammatory foods", helping you find which ones are inflammortory to you!
Good Luck on your journey to health!0 -
24 pounds in 2 months is INCREDIBLE. I've lost 23 pounds so far and I started halfway through June! Keep your head up because you ARE doing excellent.0
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Different things work for different people. My brother has lost about 100 pounds in 3 months. I am proud of him. But I also know what effort he has put into it.
The thing is....stop focusing on other people and what they are doing. You have lost 4 gallons of milk from your body. Go to the store and hold 4 gallons and milk....It is ALOT of weight. You are doing great!
Try to focus on the non scale things also. Are your clothes any looser? Do you sleep better? Can you walk or run further? What you need to do is STOP looking at the scale. Do not get on it for 1 month but in that month eat clean....nothing processed.....and work out until your shirt changes color from sweat. I can guarantee at the end of that month you will have lost weight.0 -
Honestly that attitude is one of the reasons I never even tried, in the past. I felt like, "20 lb is nothing when you're at my weight so why bother?" when my 140 lb coworkers lost 20 lb and everyone was commending them on wearing a tiny frock...that's disheartening when you're larger.
Also, you may have a naturally competitive spirit...I do. I'm not that ambitious and I am an introvert, but I also have a very competitive and perfectionist side to me. That makes it difficult to not be the best, fastest, etc, at whatever it is I set my mind to. In fact, one of the MAIN things that got me interested in starting MFP was finding out my fiancé's best friend (a guy) lost 60 lb when he went pescetarian, and I only lost 9 lb when I did. I felt like I was an underachiever or something, and it made me want to lose more weight.
It's taken me 6 months to lose 44 lb. I am totally fine with that. 1.6 lb per week is a good loss. If you lose weight too quickly, there's always that chance that you will put it right back on...and some on here have claimed that your appearance can change in ways you don't like if the weight comes off super fast. So take that for what it is worth...
Just TRY to focus on your own goals and don't worry about others. I know it's hard!!!0 -
Way to go on losing 24 lbs in 2 months. That's incredible! I wish I could have lost mine that fast... but everyone is different.
The only one you should compare yourself to is yourself. You know what you've gone through to get there and how far you want to go. You should be proud of that.
Start taking photos of yourself. I did not take one when I was at my heaviest but now I wish I did since I am not seeing the difference in myself but I do see it in what clothes I can now wear and NOT wear (since they are falling off :happy: ).
I bet we all wish the weight would come off our middles first or whatever part bothers us the most, but it doesn't. Our bodies drop the weight from wherever they wanted. Mine hid my weight well...but that means it hid the weight loss too
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