They Just Don't Get It... What Do You Tell Them?

Yanicka1

I lost weight so slowly that no one ever noticed lol......but really I just do not talk about it.

Rayman79

Most of the time I just shrug it off or just give the vanilla answer... 'just watching my diet a bit more and hitting the gym'. The few times I've mentioned I track calories I had to pick jaws up off the floor so I don't do that anymore.

It gets tougher when it is someone closer to you though. As an example, my wife doesn't get it! She is very intelligent but this just isn't something she cares about to give it any significant mental attention. She is so caught up in 'old school' ways of thinking, for example she is either being 'good' or 'bad' with her diet etc...

She says I'm getting too thin (I still have a bf% close to 20) and that I don't eat enough when I'm only at a low to moderate deficit,blah blah... she is slowly coming around, but this is now two years of effort for me. The other day she even asked me if what she was making for dinner (pasta) was ok and if it would fit my macros for the day - milestone! :bigsmile:

The bottom line is I made the decision to take control of my health and as much as I'd like to shout my new-found knowledge from the rooftops, I don't. Until someone comes to you with genuine curiosity the best option is usually just to smile politely and give them the easiest answer you can.

YesIAm17

So many great responses already! Please keep them coming.

I think a lot of people here will find your thoughts helpful.

Thanks Everyone!

thepetiterunner

People aren't good with change. They see you a certain way and they get used to that and they don't like it when you change that. It changes who THEY are in reference to you. It forces them to look at themselves differently too.

Sometimes there's nothing to say. Sometimes you just let those people drift out of your life because they can't understand the path you're on. When people ask me why I run I tell them because I like it. When people ask me incredulously why I would run a full 26.2 miles, I shrug and smile.

You don't always have to say anything. It's your life and you need not defend or explain it.

chezzamanezza

Since the only person who opinion actually matters to me is my partners (and he lets me get on with it how I want) I don't discuss my weight loss with anyone else.
As for the "you are not eating enough" etc brigade, I tell them that I am not willing to discuss my personal business with them.
I don't have to justify myself to anyone except myself.

neandermagnon

I agree re not discussing it, just getting on with it. If people ask "why are you eating that?" answer "because it tastes good", or ask you why you exercise, answer "because it's fun". If they ask you how you're losing weight, then answer "exercise, healthy foods and eating a little less than I burn off" - keep the answers as short as possible. If you get other silly questions like "no really, it can't just be eating less than you burn off and exercising, what's your secret, really" kind of questions, just answer with the same thing over and over again, e.g. "no really, that is all it is" (or similar). They'll get bored asking you if you give them the same answer every time. They might even get the message, and come and ask you for help. At that point they might be more receptive to learning how to calculate their deficit, etc. Or they might not be. But until that point, just give short, sweet answers that don't include "weight loss" or "health" in them at all.

pandorakick

People either: a) don't care; or b) they think you're obsessed. So you're either boring people to death, or convincing people you have some kind of obsessive disorder.

Stick with peer groups like this one, where people have a common interest and you should be golden.

Yeah, I found this out a couple of years ago... The subject then wasn't anything related to fat loss or fitness but the result was the very same. It made me an even more private person.

Miffylou

I love it when people ask me how I've lost weight, like I'm going to give them some magical easy answer. Instead I respond with eating healthy and exercise and they have a look of surprise.

Elliesque

If they ask, I share. If they wanna argue or don't like it, then I tell them to do it their own way and leave my way alone!

lilbearzmom

I've always had a problem with this at church, our last Pastor especially. And at our new church there's a couple of ladies who think they're the diet police.

The Pastor - I told him that unless he wants me passing out on the stage (I am diabetic and was on the worship team) that he had better just let me do my thing in the morning - that I had to eat SOMETHING and all that was ever on the Sunday School breakfast table was sweets and fruit so yeah.

The one lady I went OFF on. She almost smacked a donut out of my hand and I was eating it because I had crashed. I was about to have my insulin cut in HALF, because I was taking too much for how much I was eating/exercising, but oh! She didn't know that! She just knew I was fat and needed a lecture! She didn't even know my NAME and felt like it was her job to jump my case because she knew I was diabetic. I was pissed. Then this other lady yelled at me because I got ONE 1" x 1" brownie at a potluck. I just walked away from her. It was ignorant of her. I have the right to have a damn brownie, if I want, and I don't usually talk like that. It just pisses me off, when people assume that you want their advice, just because you're fat, or that you're not trying.

Well, it turns out that my big belly ended up being all fluid, and that I had cancer.

Now I'm on chemo, and I'm not supposed to lose much weight until it's over.

So now if people jump my case, I'll just say screw you, I have cancer.

I am gluten free and low sugar though, even though my oncologist doesn't want me to do that. I am also an organic food junkie.

OMG. No words. Would LOVE to be a fly on the wall when you tell those biddies you have the "big C". Hope all is well and you are soon to be C-free!!!

PaulHalicki

I'm actually fortunate in that the guys I deal with most frequently at work are reasonably fit. The guy over the cube wall from me is way ahead of me; he lost serious weight over the last year or two and now is maintaining. Good for him. He didn't talk about it much at the time, but now that I'm doing similar things, we can discuss it as if it were a common hobby.

My cubemate is ex-Navy and a runner. He could stand to lose a few (just a few) pounds and he knows it, but you would never look at him and call him fat. He's just a reasonably fit middle-aged guy. He's actually interested in my MFP experience and downloaded the app, but not committed enough to start seriously tracking his food and exercise calories. But he's sympathetic. The guy in the other cube adjacent to mine is a diabetic and has to watch what he eats. He's pretty fit, too.

Around this office, there's a tradition of "Donut Rules" where, if you buy a new car or get promoted or brag about your kids too much, you have to bring in donuts for the office. We don't vigorously enforce those rules anymore; in fact the diabetic guy brought in donuts recently and by the end of the day, several were left over.

So at least in my work environment, I'm fortunate that I don't have to deal with the naysayers.

Courtney011691

I heard this from another poster a few weeks ago. I've yet to use it but am waiting patiently (impatiently) to do so.

"You weren't there telling me what to eat when I was fat so you don't get to tell me now that I'm skinny."

PaulHalicki

Ooh, I like that.


Of course, that wouldn't work with my mom ("Eat! Eat! It's good for you!")

cdahl383

I don't talk about it. I just do my thing. Nobody cares, really. I went to dinner a year ago with a bunch of women talking about how they were doing low carb/eating just green things/not doing this/only doing that. I smiled and nodded as I ate a crapload of Mexican food and they all looked at me like I was killing kittens. Saw them all again recently. I'm 3 sizes smaller and they are still talking about low carb/eating only green things. I just smiled and nodded. Nobody wants the science, nobody wants the reasoning, nobody wants to hear about it. So I stopped talking about it. At all. That's what my mfp friends are for. Everyone is much happier now.

This is pretty much my approach anymore. My wife is supportive so I talk about it with her, but other than her, I don't talk about it too much. People just notice I'm losing weight and I just say well I'm just trying to eat healthier and exercising more. I don't get into it anymore with people, because like you said, they generally don't care and usually have nothing much to add to the conversation anyway.

shesheo

I love your post! I needed that !

DavePFJ

I tell them I switched from Marlboro Reds to Marlboro Lights.

squishybarb

I don't talk about it. I just do my thing. Nobody cares, really. I went to dinner a year ago with a bunch of women talking about how they were doing low carb/eating just green things/not doing this/only doing that. I smiled and nodded as I ate a crapload of Mexican food and they all looked at me like I was killing kittens. Saw them all again recently. I'm 3 sizes smaller and they are still talking about low carb/eating only green things. I just smiled and nodded. Nobody wants the science, nobody wants the reasoning, nobody wants to hear about it. So I stopped talking about it. At all. That's what my mfp friends are for. Everyone is much happier now.

THIS! Man, this is great. I hate when I go out and have "saved" my "calorie-money" and wish to "spend" it on ice cream, or chicken fingers, or fries, whatever, and get weird looks. How in the world do you think I lost weight? I obviously know what works for me... I LOVE FOOD! I have just learned to control what and how much goes in my mouth, and how often!

MyJourney1960

I don't talk about it. I just do my thing. Nobody cares, really. I went to dinner a year ago with a bunch of women talking about how they were doing low carb/eating just green things/not doing this/only doing that. I smiled and nodded as I ate a crapload of Mexican food and they all looked at me like I was killing kittens. Saw them all again recently. I'm 3 sizes smaller and they are still talking about low carb/eating only green things. I just smiled and nodded. Nobody wants the science, nobody wants the reasoning, nobody wants to hear about it. So I stopped talking about it. At all. That's what my mfp friends are for. Everyone is much happier now.

this . exactly this.

I don't understand who are these "people" that you need to explain/justify your life to?

I talk about my diet only with people who i know are either struggling themselves (and we support each other), and with my son. that's it. it's nobody's business what i eat, how much i eat, why i eat...

danofthedead1979

I talk about mfp and how I'm losing weight at work, no big deal. I've tried to get a couple of friends to try it out. There is a colleague at work that uses weight watchers and is obsessed with carbs (smh) no matter how much I explain that carbs are not bad, she won't have it. I would argue with her but I can't be bothered.

kjauthier

Hahaha, when I read that, it was like that's so true and to the point. Couldn't have said it better myself.

LinOtt

People marvel at my weightloss, then I say - "and do you know what? For the first time ever, I haven't had a cold or the 'flu all winter." Go put that in yer pipe and smoke it! Results speak for themselves.....

dunnodunno

I'm getting pissed at the people who ask how much I weigh now. Why is that any of their business? Or the people who literally lean in quickly & asked how I did it. I now bluntly tell them I don't do any fad diets or diet pills & just focus on calories & exercise.