why do men cheat?
Options
Replies
-
Don't even start--seriously. Cheating is not limited to men. Women cheat too.
What's with the sexist posts lately? :grumble:
I never said women did not cheat. Im asking for a reason so thanks for your non-related reply.
May I point out that you only added your addendum to your original post AFTER I and everyone else posted responses? And if you feel that society simply expects women to take back men after they cheat, why are you soliciting us for opinions? What does it matter--if society decrees it a certain way, does no one have the gumption or the ability to make their own decision based on what is right or someone's idea of forgiveness? Taking someone back --a man or a woman--after they cheat is a choice that while shaped by society's expectations is entirely based on the two people involved.
The name of your thread is "Why do men cheat?". If you just wanted to know who would take someone back after they cheated and why or why not (and what gender the responder is), you should have phrased it that way.
If you're even asking "Do all men cheat" (which you did in your addendum) then you must either be very young and/or have a very skewed idea of relationships. Do ALL men cheat? Why would that even be a legitimate question?
I guess I just really don't understand what you are asking and where you are coming from.
thanks mommy...can I have a snack now??? U are not in the pisition to judge or degrade me for asking a question in the chit chat forum. With that being said my question is still why do men cheat along with every other question I asked. Thank you anyways!
Ummm, okay...you have clearly lost me at this point. An unclear post is still an unclear post, whether it is posted in the ChitChat forum or anywhere else.0 -
My guess is out of boredom. Relationships take work. When you start out dating its all fun and new. After a while you settle into a routine. Then maybe you get engaged, then its new again, and then comes the wedding, big hurrah and party and you're the center of attention. You have some time together for a while, then you have a couple kids, money gets tighter, you have less free time, less time to entertain yourself, you sometimes find yourselves as parents more than a couple, etc. It takes a lot of work to stick with someone and handle all the responsibilities and obligations. It's not always easy or fun or magical, sometimes its just hard and routine. But the bottom line is, you signed up to be with that person when you took your wedding vows. You knew life would not always be easy and fun, you knew life would throw you some curveballs along the way. At the end of the day, it really depends on how serious the two of you take your relationship or wedding vows.
Some people can't handle it, get bored easily, want something new, they look for someone else, etc. Others can find happiness in their relationship in the little things and you still enjoy each other's company regardless of what you're doing. I think a lot of it boils down to how you were raised and what you feel is important in life and what characteristics make a true man or woman.
Any man can go hook up with a woman for sex and same goes for women. Is that really it? Are people like this really that much of a primate that they can't resist their urges or control themselves or act like adults? For some the answer is yes and some it is no. I dont really understand it or why people do it because the consequences are far worse than the little fun you might have and even if you dont get caught, you have to live with knowing you're a scumbag the rest of your life. To me none of those things are worth it. But above all that, your commitment to your family comes first. You have a spouse to take care of, you have kids to support and raise and love.
The bottom line is it all boils down to selfishness. If you are so selfish that you'd rather sleep with another woman than work things out with your girlfriend/wife and take care of your kids like a real man, then you deserve all the crap that's coming your way. If people learned how to put others in front of themselves sometimes rather than entertaining themselves or everything being "me me me" all the time, the world would be a better place. And if you're that kind of person that's fine, but don't get married and have kids if you can't handle it. Just stay single and entertain yourself forever.0 -
seems to me cheating is typically done for any number of reasons. I was really never able to pinpoint the exact reason why I was cheated on years ago. It could just be the nature of the person. The girl had cheated before and i was aware of it but my ego told me she wouldnt cheat on me. I was dead wrong and after about a year and a half I learned the hard way that leopard cant change its spots to stripes.
Took me a few hours to get past it but Im happy that i found out then before we moved in together/had kids/etc. Damage control was thankfully minor0 -
It's interesting that most of the responses on this thread have come from Women.
I also notice a common theme in this thread stating that Men and Women cheat equally. While the number of cheating instances is probably equal, that doesn't mean that the number of individuals cheating is. I bet that the large portion of cheating being done on the male side is being done by a relatively small number of men. For a woman to cheat, she only has to say "yes" once to someone who is actively pursuing her with intent. It is likely that man who got her to say "yes" had a previous string of successes and is responsible for a dozen different women making the decision to go along. You women can explain why that happens better than I could.
I think that the average male in a serious relationship is much less likely to actively pursue an outside sexual relationship than the average woman is to periodically say "yes" in what may be a moment of weakness. Men historically have had to do a lot more than just say "yes".
So, I think the answer to your question is that most men don't. If you are with one that does, it's because you chose one for some reason that you need to figure out yourself. If you figure out that reason, then you will have the answer about whether or not to stay with him.0 -
Don't even start--seriously. Cheating is not limited to men. Women cheat too.
What's with the sexist posts lately? :grumble:
I never said women did not cheat. Im asking for a reason so thanks for your non-related reply.
May I point out that you only added your addendum to your original post AFTER I and everyone else posted responses? And if you feel that society simply expects women to take back men after they cheat, why are you soliciting us for opinions? What does it matter--if society decrees it a certain way, does no one have the gumption or the ability to make their own decision based on what is right or someone's idea of forgiveness? Taking someone back --a man or a woman--after they cheat is a choice that while shaped by society's expectations is entirely based on the two people involved.
The name of your thread is "Why do men cheat?". If you just wanted to know who would take someone back after they cheated and why or why not (and what gender the responder is), you should have phrased it that way.
If you're even asking "Do all men cheat" (which you did in your addendum) then you must either be very young and/or have a very skewed idea of relationships. Do ALL men cheat? Why would that even be a legitimate question?
I guess I just really don't understand what you are asking and where you are coming from.
thanks mommy...can I have a snack now??? U are not in the pisition to judge or degrade me for asking a question in the chit chat forum. With that being said my question is still why do men cheat along with every other question I asked. Thank you anyways!
This exchange is the precise reason men cheat!0 -
0
-
Infidelity is caused by someone's needs not being met. Whether they CAN or SHOULD be met, is a separate issue. And the 'Once a cheater always a cheater' mindset is not correct.
My husband is a marriage/family counselor and deals with this issue on almost a daily basis.0 -
My guess is out of boredom. Relationships take work. When you start out dating its all fun and new. After a while you settle into a routine. Then maybe you get engaged, then its new again, and then comes the wedding, big hurrah and party and you're the center of attention. You have some time together for a while, then you have a couple kids, money gets tighter, you have less free time, less time to entertain yourself, you sometimes find yourselves as parents more than a couple, etc. It takes a lot of work to stick with someone and handle all the responsibilities and obligations. It's not always easy or fun or magical, sometimes its just hard and routine. But the bottom line is, you signed up to be with that person when you took your wedding vows. You knew life would not always be easy and fun, you knew life would throw you some curveballs along the way. At the end of the day, it really depends on how serious the two of you take your relationship or wedding vows.
Some people can't handle it, get bored easily, want something new, they look for someone else, etc. Others can find happiness in their relationship in the little things and you still enjoy each other's company regardless of what you're doing. I think a lot of it boils down to how you were raised and what you feel is important in life and what characteristics make a true man or woman.
Any man can go hook up with a woman for sex and same goes for women. Is that really it? Are people like this really that much of a primate that they can't resist their urges or control themselves or act like adults? For some the answer is yes and some it is no. I dont really understand it or why people do it because the consequences are far worse than the little fun you might have and even if you dont get caught, you have to live with knowing you're a scumbag the rest of your life. To me none of those things are worth it. But above all that, your commitment to your family comes first. You have a spouse to take care of, you have kids to support and raise and love.
The bottom line is it all boils down to selfishness. If you are so selfish that you'd rather sleep with another woman than work things out with your girlfriend/wife and take care of your kids like a real man, then you deserve all the crap that's coming your way. If people learned how to put others in front of themselves sometimes rather than entertaining themselves or everything being "me me me" all the time, the world would be a better place. And if you're that kind of person that's fine, but don't get married and have kids if you can't handle it. Just stay single and entertain yourself forever.
Agree 100%0 -
Infidelity is caused by someone's needs not being met. Whether they CAN or SHOULD be met, is a separate issue. And the 'Once a cheater always a cheater' mindset is not correct.
My husband is a marriage/family counselor and deals with this issue on almost a daily basis.
You may be right.... but my only experience was with a gal with a history of it, and she is still burnin bridges.... so maybe the fact is no one has yet found a way to meet her needs0 -
For a lot of men, the pursuit is the most exciting part. Guess we are hunters.
For many women, there is something called daddy issues. Its when the daddy was not around growing up or emotionally not there. These women have a tendency to repeat a behavior of pleasing and abandoning. They will try and get your approval by pleasing you, then will abandon you.
Freud would be proud!0 -
For many women, there is something called daddy issues. Its when the daddy was not around growing up or emotionally not there. These women have a tendency to repeat a behavior of pleasing and abandoning. They will try and get your approval by pleasing you, then will abandon you.
That was a private conversation!!!!0 -
For many women, there is something called daddy issues. Its when the daddy was not around growing up or emotionally not there. These women have a tendency to repeat a behavior of pleasing and abandoning. They will try and get your approval by pleasing you, then will abandon you.
That was a private conversation!!!!
Thanks for not airing my dirty mommy-issues laundry in public. Such a sweetie!0 -
Uh, men cheat and so do women. I never have but my wife did once. Thankfully we are healed and still together.0
-
How many animals mate for life?
Here is a list:
http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/animals/photos/11-animals-that-mate-for-life/old-faithful
But the majority do not mate for life.
Why do people cheat? Because people follow a pre-conceived notion of what life is. You try and be in the popular crowd, you meet someone, you make yourself believe that the chemical urging in your head is love, you pretend that you have mutual interests - most would pick same race, religion, social background, get married, have kids, and divorce. Setting yourself up for disappointment from the start. Instead, if you just go with the flow and genuinely look for a connection instead of following a conformist path to make society happy, you might end up happy.
If I had a nickel for everytime soomeone told me hey got married cuz it was the next thing to do...
^^^^^This is sad, but true. I don't get it. People care about what the social norm is too much.
It's probably different for everyone, but I think women typically do it for emotional reasons. And I think men tend to do it because they can get away with it or they think the can...pursuing is in their nature.0 -
Lol yeah it was pretty awkward. Not only that but then I'm seeing these guys throughout the night and feeling sorry for them.I am recently single. I was in a wedding recently and 3 separate women were hitting on me and grabbing my *kitten* (one tried to get me to feel her up).
All 3 were I'm a serious relationship, 2 of them their significant others were there and did it every time they're guy went to the bathroom.
Women cheat too.
Lol sorry I am not laughing at the blatant infidelity of these women, I am just picturing the scene of you trying to graceful fight them off at this wedding. Some women do not understand that not all men like to be treated like pieces of meat.
The 3rd whose someone wasnt there, she said she was single and I was flirting back a bit...then someone told me the next day she was in a serious relationship with someone and I'm like WTF!0 -
How many animals mate for life?
Here is a list:
http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/animals/photos/11-animals-that-mate-for-life/old-faithful
But the majority do not mate for life.
Why do people cheat? Because people follow a pre-conceived notion of what life is. You try and be in the popular crowd, you meet someone, you make yourself believe that the chemical urging in your head is love, you pretend that you have mutual interests - most would pick same race, religion, social background, get married, have kids, and divorce. Setting yourself up for disappointment from the start. Instead, if you just go with the flow and genuinely look for a connection instead of following a conformist path to make society happy, you might end up happy.
If I had a nickel for everytime soomeone told me hey got married cuz it was the next thing to do...
+10 -
I do agree that a lot of people get married because they found someone they like and they feel like that's Just what they're supposed to do next.How many animals mate for life?
Here is a list:
http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/animals/photos/11-animals-that-mate-for-life/old-faithful
But the majority do not mate for life.
Why do people cheat? Because people follow a pre-conceived notion of what life is. You try and be in the popular crowd, you meet someone, you make yourself believe that the chemical urging in your head is love, you pretend that you have mutual interests - most would pick same race, religion, social background, get married, have kids, and divorce. Setting yourself up for disappointment from the start. Instead, if you just go with the flow and genuinely look for a connection instead of following a conformist path to make society happy, you might end up happy.
If I had a nickel for everytime soomeone told me hey got married cuz it was the next thing to do...
^^^^^This is sad, but true. I don't get it. People care about what the social norm is too much.
It's probably different for everyone, but I think women typically do it for emotional reasons. And I think men tend to do it because they can get away with it or they think the can...pursuing is in their nature.
I don't necessarily buy the "we're just animals we can't help it" though. But that's just me.0 -
The op hasn't and isn't saying men cheat more. The op made this completely clear in their post. What the op is asking/saying, why does it appear to be accepted by some people by saying "its b/c he's a man" like this implies something that is gender specific. I don't believe any has ever said "oh she's a woman, what do you expect!"
I think there are certain gender specific characteristics that are perpetuated in society that lead some to assume certain things. There is nothing engrained in the male makeup that excuses men to cheat any more tham women.0 -
I do agree that a lot of people get married because they found someone they like and they feel like that's Just what they're supposed to do next.How many animals mate for life?
Here is a list:
http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/animals/photos/11-animals-that-mate-for-life/old-faithful
But the majority do not mate for life.
Why do people cheat? Because people follow a pre-conceived notion of what life is. You try and be in the popular crowd, you meet someone, you make yourself believe that the chemical urging in your head is love, you pretend that you have mutual interests - most would pick same race, religion, social background, get married, have kids, and divorce. Setting yourself up for disappointment from the start. Instead, if you just go with the flow and genuinely look for a connection instead of following a conformist path to make society happy, you might end up happy.
If I had a nickel for everytime soomeone told me hey got married cuz it was the next thing to do...
^^^^^This is sad, but true. I don't get it. People care about what the social norm is too much.
It's probably different for everyone, but I think women typically do it for emotional reasons. And I think men tend to do it because they can get away with it or they think the can...pursuing is in their nature.
I don't necessarily buy the "we're just animals we can't help it" though. But that's just me.
Yes I constructed the post poorly, presenting two different ideas. They are separate ideas.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.9K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.8K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 400 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 988 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions