Having my weight loss noticed makes me feel uncomfortable

willdob3

maybe because it reinforces that they thought you were fat before.

Yes, this is why it was for me.

This kind of thinking is caused by low self-esteem. We train our brains to twist everything everyone else says into a negative & almost always incorrect statement about ourselves. We can correct this thinking but it takes consistent effort.

jennybennypenny

The part that really makes me uncomfortable is the (mostly unwanted and sometimes extremely rude) attention from men. You don't have to deal with it (as much) when you're bigger, and suddenly BAM here it is and you have no skills of deflection.

smaihlee

I've struggled with taking compliments pretty much my entire life. Losing weight has attracted more attention than any other thing I've done, so I've really had to work hard not to come across as an ungrateful *kitten*.

The place where I work is full of the most weight-obsessed people I have ever encountered. Not that the employees are necessarily healthy (far from it, actually) but they notice and call out weight changes and call them out--positive or negative.

I've lost 45 pounds and have another 35 or so to reach my goal. My goal is 5 pounds under the top end of "normal" weight for my height, so I'm not looking to be uber-skinny. Even so, I have gotten all kinds of hyperbolic comments ever since I was about 20 pounds down::

"You're wasting away!!!"
"You are skinny as a rail"
"Look at you, skinny mama"

A few months ago, my response was a shy nod, a "hmph", and maybe a feeble "thanks". Lately, I'm getting more co-workers coming to me for advice and suggestions so I'm trying to boost the confidence in my response.

What I find funny is when I see people in the canteen as I'm getting an afternoon snack (usually a protein bar and coffee), and they ask me how my efforts are going. As if my actually eating indicates I've fallen off the wagon or something.

koukla0808

I think it bothers me the way people say it....I mean if people say it because they just generally noticed, I'm ok with that, but if someone is telling me in a certain tone of voice (it's hard to explain, kind of like they're saying you looked bad before and it's only the weight loss that's making you look better), then it bothers me.

A few years ago, I was a size 8 and the way people treat you based on your size is amazing. A lot of people are much more helpful and friendlier if you're thinner, and that's an awful way to be. I even notice it now with the little bit of weight I've lost again. Guys will smile more, people won't shove you, people are just friendlier. That kind of attention makes me uncomfortable. People should be respectful and kind towards each other, no matter what's on the outside.

dunnodunno

Today I decided that I felt comfortable enough to wear a form fitting top. As I was minding my own business at work, my supervisor walks behind me and states rather matter of factly,
"My God, Emily, you have been losing a lot of weight."

I went into instant social anxiety mode. Instead of saying something like "thank you for noticing! ect." I just go
"....yea."

This doesn't only apply to my supervisor, but to my friends and family as well. I just feel so uncomfortable whenever anyone points it out, and for the life of me I can't figure out why.

You know what's also uncomfortable? Passerby's looking at you and smiling. Strangers talking to you. Actually receiving help in a store.
I feel like I have been missing out on basic human interactions my whole life because of my weight, and they are now all being thrown at me at once as a 23 year old woman.

Anyone else in the same boat?

The only time I hate it is when people comment & call me skinny (I don't think 182.5 is skinny), when they exclaim with amazement that I still want to lose more weight, & when people tell me to eat a cheeseburger.

WeepingAngel81

I am very much the opposite in the sense that no one says anything to me about losing weight with the exception of my best friend who works out with me. Maybe it's because I don't have much to lose? I don't know.

willdob3

The part that really makes me uncomfortable is the (mostly unwanted and sometimes extremely rude) attention from men. You don't have to deal with it (as much) when you're bigger, and suddenly BAM here it is and you have no skills of deflection.

I feel the same way. So far, this time around I've only gotten positive & often amusing attention from men.

From past experience, I know the jerks are out there & they will eventually bother me. I know that when I lost a huge amount of weight years ago I did my best to ignore the jerks & there advances. I didn't want them to see that they have flustered me so I'd laugh or make a brief, dismissive comment. I hope I do as well this time around.

wibutterflymagic

Me too! But, I just get embarrassed when my best buddy tells me, "God, you are so skinny now!" I'm like, "No, I'm not. I'm thinner. But, I'm sure as hell not thin yet.

OMG! Yes!! I have a friend that says that to me and it really irritates me because I'm not any thinner now then when I first met her. Thinner then I've been for many years yes, skinny, absolutely not even close.

To OP, take the comments as fabulous compliments that all your hard work is paying off. As we get thinner we will get more attention, it's not going to change so we'd better get used to it. I think that could be one reason why many of us stay fat for so long.

frommetobetterme

I haven't lost that much weight yet, so most people don't notice. But one of my colleagues that is from out of town keeps saying that I'm shrinking really fast and that it really shows. Once he did that when I didn't lose anything at all for weeks.

Just makes me uncomfortable because I don't know what to say. If I say 'not really' he insists that I did... I'm kind of at a loss with him. He's not hitting on me or anything, just keeps making these statements about me shrinking.

frommetobetterme

Me too! But, I just get embarrassed when my best buddy tells me, "God, you are so skinny now!" I'm like, "No, I'm not. I'm thinner. But, I'm sure as hell not thin yet.

OMG! Yes!! I have a friend that says that to me and it really irritates me because I'm not any thinner now then when I first met her. Thinner then I've been for many years yes, skinny, absolutely not even close.

To OP, take the comments as fabulous compliments that all your hard work is paying off. As we get thinner we will get more attention, it's not going to change so we'd better get used to it. I think that could be one reason why many of us stay fat for so long.

I think that people see things in relative terms... so you're sooo thin actually means you're so much thinner than before. That, and with the fact that so many people are fat now that it's changing the perception of what actually being thin should look like (there was a whole thread on this last week).

peleroja

I have a hard time with it because the tone is often not that nice. "You're cold all the time because you have no fat left!" (Wrong. I was cold at 145lbs too), "where are your boobs? You look like a teenager!" (Still an F cup, but thanks?) "Were you sick?" (No. Do I look sick?)

If people would stick to "you look great. Have you lost weight?" and leave out the judgey commentary I'd probably be better at saying "yes, I have lost weight, thank you for noticing."

Alicia7519

I like getting compliments about losing weight, but sometimes it can be uncomfortable. I was at a party and a friend exclaimed, "You are so tiny now!" Uh, I weighed about 250 at the time. I know she was trying to encourage me, but it still made me feel uneasy. Also, when people say "You look so much better!" To me, that automatically means "You used to look like hell."

I think it's the way some of us are wired. It was hard on us when we drew negative attention because of our bodies that now, we don't want any type of attention. Even if it is positive, we are still being scrutinized. At least, that is how I feel at times.

JessiAnnRose89

Aww! I felt the same way for a long time. Half of the time I feel awkward. Embarrassed, that people notice my weight loss. It was even stranger when these people I've been working with for two years, come in and say "OMG Jess you're wasting away!!!" I mean, I blush profusely, I bow my head, and say "oh... thanks." I mean, I should take it as a compliment right? But it sounds terrible! Wasting away??? I'm not thin, I'm 173 lbs. The other day a girl came in, I see her all the time, and she goes, OH MY GOD, Jess look at you! Where did you go?! It's embarrassing because no one mentioned I was "fat" before! To a few people I was referred to as the "string bean" or the "thin girl"... my boss pointed that one out yesterday.

Its embarrassing but you should be proud of yourself! I'm sure you've come a long way and it's a good thing people notice. I am using this as motivation to keep up my hard work! If you ever feel like chatting more or anything, feel free to add me --- same with anyone else here!

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!

Jess

mjkanaan

I am very much the opposite in the sense that no one says anything to me about losing weight with the exception of my best friend who works out with me. Maybe it's because I don't have much to lose? I don't know.

This!^ I would be thrilled if I got some comments on my weight loss from someone other than just my bf. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he's noticed, but he's the only one! And I'm 5'3", so you can't tell me that 18 pounds lost on my small frame isn't noticeable. I've gone down 2 pant sizes! The people at work have to have noticed! My friends have to have noticed! :laugh:

FerretBuellerr

The few comments I've gotten just surprised me at first, because they happened at a time when I didn't think it was noticeable.

The comments I've gotten now that I can definetly notice it, yeah, it gets me all flustered and shy. I've never been very good at taking compliments, however.