Daughter could use some advice
Cowart69
Posts: 15 Member
My daughter and I both have accounts on here and are both looking to get into better shape....myself because I am a diabetic and my daughter 18.
My weight loss is coming along fine (but for me its like throwing chairs off the titanic) while my daughter is starting to hit some platau....I try to help where i can. Which I could afford a personal trainer (and she works where she can find it) but that is just not doable right now.
I think I have collected enough data to ask some questions
Stats: Female, 18 years old, 5'2" 117 pounds. Her weight goals are go get to and MAINTAIN between 108-110 pounds.
- She has a medical condition that forces her to have to take birth control.....which many times gives her water retention issues through the month.
- Eating salty foods seems to wreak havoc on her.....I am amazed at how "puffy" she becomes....I offer encouragement but she is totally uncomfortable with it
What she is doing to lose
- She does cardio nearly every day.....I tell her just do what you love and she loves swimming and she uses the rowing machine.
- She also works on a split routine where she does her cardio early.....and then will go back in the afternoon and work on a "push/pull" lifting and probably takes 2 days of rest during the week
- She keeps a food log through here which I actually help her maintain to try to track the calories and where they are coming from. When its all said and done........she is probably eating 1500-1600 calories total but then when you subtract the calories through exercise probably runs on a 300-400 calorie deficit per day (using this site to calculate that)
- The food is mostly a combonation of eggs, low salt veggies, protein shakes, sometimes fish, sometimes chicken......so the food seems like its mostly clean.
- Now.....there is this one thing.....she swears that she gets enough water....myself I am not so sure. I do hope its true.
But even with the water.....with these stats, exercise, and food...shouldnt she just be absolutely shredding? She isnt trying to be a bodybiulder.....she would like to look athletic like a dancer, cheerleader type.
Any help would be appreciated....I will pass it along to her.
Note: Something I left out....for all the lifting she is doing I dont see her getting a lot of muscule tone.....she has been doing it for a while so she at some point should also be showing tone?
My weight loss is coming along fine (but for me its like throwing chairs off the titanic) while my daughter is starting to hit some platau....I try to help where i can. Which I could afford a personal trainer (and she works where she can find it) but that is just not doable right now.
I think I have collected enough data to ask some questions
Stats: Female, 18 years old, 5'2" 117 pounds. Her weight goals are go get to and MAINTAIN between 108-110 pounds.
- She has a medical condition that forces her to have to take birth control.....which many times gives her water retention issues through the month.
- Eating salty foods seems to wreak havoc on her.....I am amazed at how "puffy" she becomes....I offer encouragement but she is totally uncomfortable with it
What she is doing to lose
- She does cardio nearly every day.....I tell her just do what you love and she loves swimming and she uses the rowing machine.
- She also works on a split routine where she does her cardio early.....and then will go back in the afternoon and work on a "push/pull" lifting and probably takes 2 days of rest during the week
- She keeps a food log through here which I actually help her maintain to try to track the calories and where they are coming from. When its all said and done........she is probably eating 1500-1600 calories total but then when you subtract the calories through exercise probably runs on a 300-400 calorie deficit per day (using this site to calculate that)
- The food is mostly a combonation of eggs, low salt veggies, protein shakes, sometimes fish, sometimes chicken......so the food seems like its mostly clean.
- Now.....there is this one thing.....she swears that she gets enough water....myself I am not so sure. I do hope its true.
But even with the water.....with these stats, exercise, and food...shouldnt she just be absolutely shredding? She isnt trying to be a bodybiulder.....she would like to look athletic like a dancer, cheerleader type.
Any help would be appreciated....I will pass it along to her.
Note: Something I left out....for all the lifting she is doing I dont see her getting a lot of muscule tone.....she has been doing it for a while so she at some point should also be showing tone?
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Replies
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She's already at a pretty ideal weight so trying to take off more weight is going to be a struggle and probably isn't even necessary. Focusing more on strength training and building muscle would probably be a better option than just trying to lose weight.0
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Your daughter is in the healthy range, why are you helping her to be unhealthy?0
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She's already at a pretty ideal weight so trying to take off more weight is going to be a struggle and probably isn't even necessary. Focusing more on strength training and building muscle would probably be a better option than just trying to lose weight.
^ This0 -
I'm not sure, from what you say, that she isn't at a good weight all things considered. Her weight goal might be a tiny bit unrealistic. Sounds like she is doing VERY well.
Take a look at someone who installs bricks, stone and mortar every day (I do see them every day) and I can tell you that they hit a certain weight and they don't go below it. Not every plateau is bad.0 -
Your daughter does not need to lose weight. Encourage her to just focus on healthy habits and to be happy with who she is.0
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Your daughter does not need to lose weight. Encourage her to just focus on healthy habits and to be happy with who she is.
^^^This...0 -
It sounds to me like fitness goals would be better for her than weight goals right now--stronger, faster, distance stuff.0
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Completely agree - if she is looking for athleticism and tone then she will need to start focussing on her work out and not what she weighs.0
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I don't understand why you think your daughter needs to lose any weight. She sounds just about perfect. I have a 17 year old daughter and at this point want I think is important is to keep modeling healthy habits and making sure she realizes that being physically active is not just something from her childhood. She needs to take it with her throughout her life.0
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She's already at a pretty ideal weight so trying to take off more weight is going to be a struggle and probably isn't even necessary. Focusing more on strength training and building muscle would probably be a better option than just trying to lose weight.
Yep.. This ^^^^^
I would also say to focus more on measurements than weight. Taking comparison pics can help as well to see the changes over time.0 -
I agree with the other posters. She is already at a pretty low weight. I would have her eat at maintenance, keep doing what she's doing, and tell her to start lifting more, and make sure she's getting enough protein. I just got this book someone recommended. New rules of weightlifting for women, from amazon, and I love it! I'm already seeing improvements in strength during week 2! I think that's probably what she's really looking for, is more muscle, which may also burn fat, but keep her weight the same.0
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I agree. She is already at a great weight, ESPECIALLY for someone that works out that much. She needs all that muscle for swimming!!!!
I do have a few suggestions for you though:
1) Get a heart rate monitor watch, or a Body Media Fit band (though she couldn't use it while swimming, since it's not waterproof), if you can afford it. She might be burning less calories in her work outs than she thinks. The estimates on cardio equipment and MFP are way off.
2) Buy a food scale. I have a hard time "eyeballing" 3 oz of turkey, chicken, rice, etc. Often times we're eating twice as many servings as we think we are, and weighing it is actually kind of fun.
3) I would suggest hiding the scale, and switching to taking measurements.
4) As for the water, buy her a nice cup, like a Tervis tumbler, and determine how many times she needs to fill it per day. For example, a 22oz tumbler or thermos, and tell her she needs to count 8 times per day of filling it up.
Hope this helps!0 -
Why does it say on your profile that you are 19 how can that be if you have a 18 year old daughter ????:noway:0
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obvious troll is obvious0
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Does she want this advice? Because if I wanted advice, I would ask it myself and not get my dad to do it for me.0
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It sounds like a few different things are going on here.
1. She sounds like she is where she needs to be weight wise. If she has lost a lot of weight, maybe it's hard for her to move from losing to maintaing or even building muscle mass.
2. You have helped her along the way which is great! But, this is your journey now, it shouldn't be hers too. If she loses any more weight it could be dangerous. That doesn't mean there aren't things the two of you can do together, but she doesn't need to lose anymore.
3. She's young, and again, she is at a good weight. Maybe she is tired of tracking and logging all the time. Encourage her to let go a little and just live her life while being conscious of what she is eating. It sounds as though you have helped her develop healthy habits and that's a plus, but it could boarder on an obsession which is not healthy.
4. If she really wanted the help, then why didn't she post this topic? I know there are a lot of harsh people out there, but there are supportive ones too. Perhaps you are the one that needs to let her go be herself. I don't intend that to sound mean, I'm just saying that sometimes it's easy to get wrapped up in our children's lives and it can be hard to let go.0 -
Why does it say on your profile that you are 19 how can that be if you have a 17 year old daughter ????:noway:
So either you ARE the daughter or you are a troll which is it?????0 -
I obviously need to go back and fix that....
And I use this sight to and have for a while I am not a troll.....just must have marked a wrong box somewhere0 -
Odd...you say your daughter but you're 19?! Please. Why would you lie, that bored? Furthermore, why would you encourage some one much less your own daughter to be that obsessed about her weight, when she's already healthy?! Argh...stupid people......0
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I'm not sure, from what you say, that she isn't at a good weight all things considered. Her weight goal might be a tiny bit unrealistic. Sounds like she is doing VERY well.
Take a look at someone who installs bricks, stone and mortar every day (I do see them every day) and I can tell you that they hit a certain weight and they don't go below it. Not every plateau is bad.
pffftaaa
all the mason's I worked with were fat as hell. strong- but almost all of them unless they were under 25 were beer gutted fat guys. god bless them. I worked around them for 5 years. beer bellys- all of them.
OP- stop bothering your kid. at 18 she's a grown *kitten* woman. if she wants advice she'll come get it herself.
that being said- she probably needs to eat more and lift.0 -
OK I see what I did......
Since we both have profiles on here (like I said we are both doing it together) I accidentally logged into my daughters profile and meant to do it on my profile.
I am "Losman69" if anyone really cares to look it up that is my profile....it should say I am 40 something years old or something like that.
My daughters birthdate is incorrect....she is 18.
By the way.....let me just state a couple of things.
- I am VERY happy with my daughter and where she is at.......I am more of the computer nerd type and offered to help so she gives me the data and I plug it in here.
- I agree that her weight IS good......I am kinda looking for advice to give her on what to do next. Personally I wonder if she might be doing too much.0 -
I am "Losman69" if anyone really cares to look it up that is my profile....it should say I am 40 something years old or something like that.
You don't know how old you are?0 -
So you're trying to tell us that someone of her size burns over 1k in exercise every day? I have a really hard time believing that, unless she's spending 5-6 hours a day in the gym.
If she is, she is completely not eating enough to gain any muscle tone. She doesn't have much energy stores to pull from so she's probably actually doing herself harm.
Too much working out with not enough fuel for a person of her size can actually REDUCE her muscle mass because her body will be trying to get the nutrients and calories to support her workouts from somewhere.0 -
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Riiiight..... :noway:I obviously need to go back and fix that....
And I use this sight to and have for a while I am not a troll.....just must have marked a wrong box somewhere0 -
What is with the dig? Christ I was borning on July 24th, 1969.....I am 40 something years old. I honestly try not to track it after I turned 40.....bottom line...im old
Is it really that big of a deal?0 -
Like everyone on here has stated your daughter is at a perfect weight for her height and should just maintain at this point. If she feels she is still overweight and that she needs to lose more weight I would have her screened for an eating disorder. This is very common at the 18-19 year old age.
Losing more weight would start to put her health into question and may make her current medical conditions worse. Just work on continuing healthy eating habits and maintaining her current weight .0 -
okay- she's 18/19 years old and doing tons of cardio
she should be eating almost everything under the sun.
next? work on a competition or start lifting.0 -
It sounds like a few different things are going on here.
1. She sounds like she is where she needs to be weight wise. If she has lost a lot of weight, maybe it's hard for her to move from losing to maintaing or even building muscle mass.
2. You have helped her along the way which is great! But, this is your journey now, it shouldn't be hers too. If she loses any more weight it could be dangerous. That doesn't mean there aren't things the two of you can do together, but she doesn't need to lose anymore.
3. She's young, and again, she is at a good weight. Maybe she is tired of tracking and logging all the time. Encourage her to let go a little and just live her life while being conscious of what she is eating. It sounds as though you have helped her develop healthy habits and that's a plus, but it could boarder on an obsession which is not healthy.
4. If she really wanted the help, then why didn't she post this topic? I know there are a lot of harsh people out there, but there are supportive ones too. Perhaps you are the one that needs to let her go be herself. I don't intend that to sound mean, I'm just saying that sometimes it's easy to get wrapped up in our children's lives and it can be hard to let go.
Vanessa,
Thank you this was what I was looking for (look guys I know I dont post here but christ what is with all these non productive comments? I will converse with anyone here but I am not engaging in that.....go somewhere else with that.)
My DD set goals....I think she did it because when she was 16 and weighing 108-110 she looked fantastic (I think she still does) she is a teenage entertainer and so this was important to her. I tried to explain to her that she is growing into a young lady now and changes happen.......but when people get a certain thing set in their mind its hard to deter them......so my next thought was "ok if your going to do that then I want you to do it healthy" I was worried about ballemia or whatever teenage girls do when they start thinking they are fat. Now...myself I was overweight....and I am a diabetic....so I saw a good opportunity to lose some weight and get in better shape myself AND spend some time with my daughter (which we dads seem to get less and less of when they get older)
And that is kinda where we are at0
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