Daughter could use some advice

JoRocka

I'm not sure, from what you say, that she isn't at a good weight all things considered. Her weight goal might be a tiny bit unrealistic. Sounds like she is doing VERY well.

Take a look at someone who installs bricks, stone and mortar every day (I do see them every day) and I can tell you that they hit a certain weight and they don't go below it. Not every plateau is bad.

pffftaaa

all the mason's I worked with were fat as hell. strong- but almost all of them unless they were under 25 were beer gutted fat guys. god bless them. I worked around them for 5 years. beer bellys- all of them.


OP- stop bothering your kid. at 18 she's a grown *kitten* woman. if she wants advice she'll come get it herself.

that being said- she probably needs to eat more and lift.

Cowart69

OK I see what I did......

Since we both have profiles on here (like I said we are both doing it together) I accidentally logged into my daughters profile and meant to do it on my profile.

I am "Losman69" if anyone really cares to look it up that is my profile....it should say I am 40 something years old or something like that.

My daughters birthdate is incorrect....she is 18.

By the way.....let me just state a couple of things.

- I am VERY happy with my daughter and where she is at.......I am more of the computer nerd type and offered to help so she gives me the data and I plug it in here.

- I agree that her weight IS good......I am kinda looking for advice to give her on what to do next. Personally I wonder if she might be doing too much.

Contrarian

I am "Losman69" if anyone really cares to look it up that is my profile....it should say I am 40 something years old or something like that.

You don't know how old you are?

Quasita

So you're trying to tell us that someone of her size burns over 1k in exercise every day? I have a really hard time believing that, unless she's spending 5-6 hours a day in the gym.

If she is, she is completely not eating enough to gain any muscle tone. She doesn't have much energy stores to pull from so she's probably actually doing herself harm.

Too much working out with not enough fuel for a person of her size can actually REDUCE her muscle mass because her body will be trying to get the nutrients and calories to support her workouts from somewhere.

SlimSumday

I obviously need to go back and fix that....

And I use this sight to and have for a while I am not a troll.....just must have marked a wrong box somewhere

Riiiight..... :noway:

Cowart69

What is with the dig? Christ I was borning on July 24th, 1969.....I am 40 something years old. I honestly try not to track it after I turned 40.....bottom line...im old

Is it really that big of a deal?

kgreenRDLDN

Like everyone on here has stated your daughter is at a perfect weight for her height and should just maintain at this point. If she feels she is still overweight and that she needs to lose more weight I would have her screened for an eating disorder. This is very common at the 18-19 year old age.

Losing more weight would start to put her health into question and may make her current medical conditions worse. Just work on continuing healthy eating habits and maintaining her current weight .

JoRocka

okay- she's 18/19 years old and doing tons of cardio

she should be eating almost everything under the sun.

next? work on a competition or start lifting.

Cowart69

It sounds like a few different things are going on here.

1. She sounds like she is where she needs to be weight wise. If she has lost a lot of weight, maybe it's hard for her to move from losing to maintaing or even building muscle mass.
2. You have helped her along the way which is great! But, this is your journey now, it shouldn't be hers too. If she loses any more weight it could be dangerous. That doesn't mean there aren't things the two of you can do together, but she doesn't need to lose anymore.
3. She's young, and again, she is at a good weight. Maybe she is tired of tracking and logging all the time. Encourage her to let go a little and just live her life while being conscious of what she is eating. It sounds as though you have helped her develop healthy habits and that's a plus, but it could boarder on an obsession which is not healthy.
4. If she really wanted the help, then why didn't she post this topic? I know there are a lot of harsh people out there, but there are supportive ones too. Perhaps you are the one that needs to let her go be herself. I don't intend that to sound mean, I'm just saying that sometimes it's easy to get wrapped up in our children's lives and it can be hard to let go.

Vanessa,

Thank you this was what I was looking for (look guys I know I dont post here but christ what is with all these non productive comments? I will converse with anyone here but I am not engaging in that.....go somewhere else with that.)

My DD set goals....I think she did it because when she was 16 and weighing 108-110 she looked fantastic (I think she still does) she is a teenage entertainer and so this was important to her. I tried to explain to her that she is growing into a young lady now and changes happen.......but when people get a certain thing set in their mind its hard to deter them......so my next thought was "ok if your going to do that then I want you to do it healthy" I was worried about ballemia or whatever teenage girls do when they start thinking they are fat. Now...myself I was overweight....and I am a diabetic....so I saw a good opportunity to lose some weight and get in better shape myself AND spend some time with my daughter (which we dads seem to get less and less of when they get older)

And that is kinda where we are at

Cowart69

okay- she's 18/19 years old and doing tons of cardio

she should be eating almost everything under the sun.

next? work on a competition or start lifting.

She is lifting

Im wondering if she is not getting enough calories......too much cardo.....too much lifting....what might be causing lack of muscle tone at this point.

She is doing enough work at this point I would have though she would have a little more at this point. Just looking to make some adjustments.

Quasita

okay- she's 18/19 years old and doing tons of cardio

she should be eating almost everything under the sun.

next? work on a competition or start lifting.

She is lifting

Im wondering if she is not getting enough calories......too much cardo.....too much lifting....what might be causing lack of muscle tone at this point.

She is doing enough work at this point I would have though she would have a little more at this point. Just looking to make some adjustments.

This is exactly what I said, that she's not eating enough, and that if she's not careful, she'll lose muscle mass working out that much without eating more. A net calories of 600 is way too low for someone that isn't done with puberty yet.

JoRocka

okay- she's 18/19 years old and doing tons of cardio

she should be eating almost everything under the sun.

next? work on a competition or start lifting.

She is lifting

Im wondering if she is not getting enough calories......too much cardo.....too much lifting....what might be causing lack of muscle tone at this point.

She is doing enough work at this point I would have though she would have a little more at this point. Just looking to make some adjustments.

This is exactly what I said, that she's not eating enough, and that if she's not careful, she'll lose muscle mass working out that much without eating more. A net calories of 600 is way too low for someone that isn't done with puberty yet.

concur- she should be like into the 2000's- like 2500 or more.

when I'm up to full steam I am WAY into the 2000's- and i'm almost 30.

Cowart69

okay- she's 18/19 years old and doing tons of cardio

she should be eating almost everything under the sun.

next? work on a competition or start lifting.

She is lifting

Im wondering if she is not getting enough calories......too much cardo.....too much lifting....what might be causing lack of muscle tone at this point.

She is doing enough work at this point I would have though she would have a little more at this point. Just looking to make some adjustments.

This is exactly what I said, that she's not eating enough, and that if she's not careful, she'll lose muscle mass working out that much without eating more. A net calories of 600 is way too low for someone that isn't done with puberty yet.

Is that really what it is? A net of 600 calories? Ohh nooo I dont want that maybe I am reading the myfitnesspal measuring thing wrong.

SchroederNJ

Maybe you should friend request "your daughter" so you can support her on MFP

MrsCamp2013

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=480764651982975&set=a.223283494397760.54875.219432648116178&type=3&theater

The numbers don't always matter. She shouldn't be focused so much on how much she weighs. Her goals should be to be healthy and fit. She seems to be pretty healthy, and that's great! She should make sure she is eating a net of MINIMUM 1200 calories, I eat a net of 1400-1500, and I'm 5'2 and weigh 211.

Let her know that the number on the scale is just a number. If she's lifting, she will likely even put on weight, but it's good weight!

kenzietate

My DD set goals....I think she did it because when she was 16 and weighing 108-110 she looked fantastic (I think she still does) she is a teenage entertainer and so this was important to her. I tried to explain to her that she is growing into a young lady now and changes happen.......but when people get a certain thing set in their mind its hard to deter them......so my next thought was "ok if your going to do that then I want you to do it healthy" I was worried about bulimia or whatever teenage girls do when they start thinking they are fat. Now...myself I was overweight....and I am a diabetic....so I saw a good opportunity to lose some weight and get in better shape myself AND spend some time with my daughter (which we dads seem to get less and less of when they get older)

And that is kinda where we are at

An 18 year old is not going to be able to stay as small as she did at 14 or 16 simply because the female body needs more fat to keep hormones and the reproductive systems healthy. She is within a healthy range for her age and anything lower would most likely be very unhealthy. If she is determined to be smaller, she needs to build muscle and eat WAY more than she is! I echo everyone else saying this!!

Cowart69

Help me to understand......

So According to the my fitness pal 1345 is the amount of calories that you have to meet....like the absolute minimum (by the way...I really try to point this out.....no starving.....she HAS to make that minimum amount no matter what or thats when "starvation mode" happens?

but

Then you have to take into account all the exercise......now when I put that all into the daily journal it comes out to anywhere from 350-500 calories a day from the cardio (now...for some reason the site seems to have a hard time calculating weight lifting....I spent some time on this but lots of not being able to find the machine or lifts.....it comes out to weigh less then the cardio in the end

so

It is my understanding that if its 1375 for "maintenance" then you need to add the 350-500 calories burned and so now you are at 1700-1800 calories......and from THAT you create a calorie deficit...meaning on that given day if you eat 1400 calories you have created a 300-400 calorie deficit......which should add up to roughly 2 pounds a week.

Am I wrong on that?

lambchristie

My thought is your daughter, 18 years old, is capable of taking care of this site on her own, if she chooses to. You are the data nerd (your word) and that is fine; your daughter may not be. This is a personal choice, even at 18 and she needs to step out of your shadow mom and keep her own diary and profile updated.

Cowart69

My DD set goals....I think she did it because when she was 16 and weighing 108-110 she looked fantastic (I think she still does) she is a teenage entertainer and so this was important to her. I tried to explain to her that she is growing into a young lady now and changes happen.......but when people get a certain thing set in their mind its hard to deter them......so my next thought was "ok if your going to do that then I want you to do it healthy" I was worried about bulimia or whatever teenage girls do when they start thinking they are fat. Now...myself I was overweight....and I am a diabetic....so I saw a good opportunity to lose some weight and get in better shape myself AND spend some time with my daughter (which we dads seem to get less and less of when they get older)

And that is kinda where we are at

An 18 year old is not going to be able to stay as small as she did at 14 or 16 simply because the female body needs more fat to keep hormones and the reproductive systems healthy. She is within a healthy range for her age and anything lower would most likely be very unhealthy. If she is determined to be smaller, she needs to build muscle and eat WAY more than she is! I echo everyone else saying this!!

I am listening to what you are saying here......I am trying to figure out the correct calories. The other question I have is sodium....this site tracks sodium how big a deal is it when that number goes over?