Any advice for my hubby a Big Guy?

arcticfox04

2900 sounds right. I was losing while around 300lbs doing 3200 calories at a high activity level. Sometimes you don't realize how many calorie you actually ate before you started.

michelegurr

Thanks all the advice! Yes all of it! LOL I don't care what size he is, love him for the man within. I DO care what shape he's in on the inside and he takes more meds to "STAY HEALTHY" than all of my grandparents combined! THAT is what scares me! The "rewards" are always offered but not always accepted, anyone who's been significantly overweight for any length of time gets why. But I totally get that he's gotta do it for him n no other reason...He's gotta start slow and his progress may be baby steps, the point is to do something, start somewhere. I guess my question on the cal count was more of if he DOESNT eat close to 2900 cals would he go into starvation mode and not lose or worse gain? Guess he can do basically what I did, I this first week tried to stay within the cal range appx 25 cals either way and just see how it went and once I figured that out then begin to figure out the other values such as protein, sugar, sodium, etc, (we just won't have him sweat the cals until we find out what exactly he eats normally.) He's not a computer guy either, but we will tag team the logging! Thanks again for all the help and advice, all of it is appreciated and will be put into practice!

Binkie1955

go low carb and he'll be fine. have him try to the ketogenic calculator reset his MFP goals around low carb and he'll drop the weight.

stumblinthrulife

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p4ulmiller

I guess my question on the cal count was more of if he DOESNT eat close to 2900 cals would he go into starvation mode and not lose or worse gain?

"Starvation mode" is a myth. It really doesn't exist.

Your husband needs to find a sustainable calorie level that means he is sated, but is at a deficit. 2900 is about right. He should lose about 100 pounds in the next year. That should be about 11 stone by Christmas 2014.

Dougf90

I started at 370lbs. I started off focusing on moderation, eating a set diet or certain "diet" foods wasn't something I could do or stick with from the start. I worked into it slowly, he's on the right track by being on MFP. Log everything that you eat, as accurately as possible! Foods that he loves to eat WILL still work, just less of it. It sounds so simple, because it is.

Exercise: I would ease into it. Being a former big guy, I did. There is nothing wrong with walking until you can get your bearings physically! The first month I did nothing but walk and dropped some weight. I incorporated some very light jogging (speed & duration) while also starting strength training, which I believe to be my biggest key to weight loss. Then you'll be able to do more from there each and every week.

Basically if he dedicates himself to do what's necessary to get the job done, it's there for the taking. It's exciting once you find that weight loss groove, you feel better about yourself physically and mentally because you know you're doing it right.

Good luck to you and your husband!

SLLRunner

My hubby wants to do this with me, I've about got him talked into it...even has a MFP account started...he has a lot more to lose than the average guy and a lot more to win, health wise especially! Any tips on supporting a reluctant, inexperienced dieter? And his MFP tells him he can eat up to 2900 cals and lose weight! How do you ingest that many calories, and how can you still lose weight? Any men over 375 lbs have any advice I can pass on to help motivate him?

I have been using the app for about five months or so and my honey has been watching my progress every step of the way and seeing what I do works. He's overweight, but I never once told him he needed to lose, or tried to talk him into using the app, or anything like that.

His doctor recently recommended he lose some weight due to health problems. He told his dietician all about what I've been doing, about using the MFP app, and she knew exactly what he was talking about. She calculated his basic metabolic rate and his total daily energy expenditure and told him how many calories to reduce to lose 1 to 2 pounds a week. He set his profile up in MFP, started eating within a calorie deficit, and has been losing steadily.

He said I inspired him to lose weight, and he absolutely loves the MFP app.

Just continue being an example and if your hubby is ready to lose weight he will either find a way that works for him or he will join you in using MFP.

DonnaJones7

You can't do it for him. It's hard to encourage and not judge. The only thing you can do is keep healthy food in the house and focus on doing activities together - and that does NOT mean exercise together. Make dates to go to a park or be outside. Then leave him alone.
It's too much pressure to have a spouse judging you.

shrinkingbrian

As a former big guy at 405 pounds (and now at 195 pounds), I think finding the proper motivation to live healthy is key. For me, I was afraid of dying young. I was 38 years old and my grandfather died of a heart attack at age 47 and that is way too young. I knew that I had to make changes. Once you have the right motivation, then it's just a matter of eating right and proper exercise. My kids were also a big source of inspiration for me. I didn't want to die young and leave them without a father. My little boy told me about a month into my lifestyle change "Dad, you're too fat" and this really hit me hard. He was right. I was too fat so I had to change. Now, my wife and I are expecting our third child. My life has changed for the better in so many way after losing 200+ pounds. At first, my wife was not very supportive (probably because she has had her own weight challenges and had some insecurity) but after about a year, she started to want to exercise with me and eat better meals at home. I was a little selfish at times with finding time to exercise but I had to be.

You might consider cooking healthy meals, having a reward meal once a week with hubby, and exercising together. I really enjoy going on walks with my wife now when our kids are in school or just as a family. We also started playing tennis at local parks and let our kids play on the playground at the park. It's not as intense as my personal exercise but it's good family time and some exercise. We also go on family hikes together. If you call it something besides "exercise" such as let's go for a hike, that can also be good.

Katla49

First - baby steps. For God's sake don't let him think he has to eat nothing but lettuce leafs and carrots to lose weight. And he needs realistic goals. He will not be Brad Pitt in a month. Losing at about a pound a week is manageable, and not too taxing. If he throws exercise into the mix, he'll be amazed how much he can eat while still losing weight.

I lost 60 pounds eating whatever the heck I wanted to - I just learned portion control.

To start with, he needs to learn to love the scale - the kitchen scale. Everything dry must be weighed, everything liquid either weighed or measured in a measuring cup. Then log it all. Everything. No matter what. Doesn't matter if he's proud of his food diary or not - it's for him only, and cheating is only cheating himself.

Once he knows how to measure, he'll know what he's consuming. If it's hugely over maintenance levels, he may want to reduce slowly over time. Once he gets his calories consistently under maintenance, he'll start losing weight. If he's not losing weight, he's not under maintenance, period.

Once he's got the hang of that, he'll want to learn about macro-nutrients. Macronutrients are protein, fat and carbohydrates, and they are all sources of calories. By upping his protein and fat he'll feel less hungry and lose more fat v. muscle while he's dieting. Most people use the rules of thumb of - 1g of protein per pound of lean body mass, 0.35g of fat per pound of total body mass.

Now you can make sure he's getting enough vegetables, fruit, etc... That'll check the micronutrients box.

If at this point you want to go the 'lifestyle diet' route, of veganism, eating clean, paleo, etc... then have at it. But know that it's not necessary for weight loss.

Exercise is not necessary for weight loss, but has massive other benefits. Personally I recommend at least regular walking, and/or taking up a sport like tennis, basketball, etc that keeps him moving. Running not required unless he wants to. Lifting heavy weights will allow him to further improve the ratio of fat/muscle that he loses while dieting, and he will look much better at any given goal weight. I suggest StrongLifts, but that's just because that's what I do. There are loads of good beginner barbell programs out there.

I think that about covers it.

This is excellent advice. I started here a year ago with my DH. We've been making this a lifestyle change, and doing it together. It has been positive for both of us. We plan to continue logging every bite for the foreseeable future. We also include our favorite foods in our lives, and count the calories. We've also learned to make some trade offs. I love the family clam dip recipe and still make it for festive occasions. I have stopped eating potato chips in favor of veggies. DH has done this too, because he had a stroke in February and is very careful to avoid added salt. You can do this as a couple, but you're in charge of you and he's in charge of him.

FishingGuy75

There are plenty of us on here in a similar situation and even a few guys that have lost more than 200 pounds. If he's not sure he's ready - have him log in and contact us. We can direct him to other guys that can help.

ldrosophila

My binge days I was consuming between 5000-7000kcals. I'm 5'10" and ended up at +360lbs. A simple reduction at that high weight was all I needed to get the ball rolling.

Best of luck to him. Glad to see he's taking the steps to get control of his health.