Do not eat sandwiches

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  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    NO!!!!!!!! DON'T DO IT!!! you'll regret it in the morning....


    .... this post is probably too late.....



    ETA: turns out it was too late......
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    To Mutant's lab assistant.... whatever you do, don't unlock the door. She will scream and try to beat the door down demanding bread and associated fillings.... no matter what, DO NOT GIVE THEM TO HER. No matter what threats she makes. Just make sure there's nothing in the room with which she could threaten to harm herself or anyone else, in an attempt to blackmail you into giving her sandwich ingredients and paraphernalia
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    Buuut....I made pot roast on Monday and want a sammich!! :sad:
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    To Mutant's lab assistant.... whatever you do, don't unlock the door. She will scream and try to beat the door down demanding bread and associated fillings.... no matter what, DO NOT GIVE THEM TO HER. No matter what threats she makes. Just make sure there's nothing in the room with which she could threaten to harm herself or anyone else, in an attempt to blackmail you into giving her sandwich ingredients and paraphernalia

    All is well fellow Internet human. All is well. I am the Mutant/host and I have escaped my prison.
    The Mutant/host is fine and would like to remind the Neanderthal/Potential host to eat a delicious sandwich today.

    Intact all fellow Internet humans/Potential hosts you should all eat a delicious sandwich today. There is no harm in the sandwich. The sandwich is love.
  • Mumbles83
    Mumbles83 Posts: 626 Member
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    Have you been converted by Sandwich Corp ? ... who will save us now, i fear the worse is yet to come.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    Do not worry Mumbles. SandwichCorp is your friend
  • Mumbles83
    Mumbles83 Posts: 626 Member
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    Snap out of it Mutant !!! ... there is still time
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    To Mutant's lab assistant.... whatever you do, don't unlock the door. She will scream and try to beat the door down demanding bread and associated fillings.... no matter what, DO NOT GIVE THEM TO HER. No matter what threats she makes. Just make sure there's nothing in the room with which she could threaten to harm herself or anyone else, in an attempt to blackmail you into giving her sandwich ingredients and paraphernalia

    All is well fellow Internet human. All is well. I am the Mutant/host and I have escaped my prison.
    The Mutant/host is fine and would like to remind the Neanderthal/Potential host to eat a delicious sandwich today.

    Intact all fellow Internet humans/Potential hosts you should all eat a delicious sandwich today. There is no harm in the sandwich. The sandwich is love.

    *grasps head in hand and drops to knees*

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

    we intervened too late..... all is lost.....

    *must resist urge to go to Lebanese takeaway over the road*

    This is disturbing. The Sandwich Corp seem to be attacking from remote geographic locations simultaneously.

    *mmmmmm shawarma wrap*

    They seem to be projecting their ideas into our thoughts somehow.....

    *delicious spicy shawarma wrapped in freshly baked Lebanese flat bread, cooked in a traditional oven*

    Must figure out how to stop this before.... before.... they completely..... take over... my.... mind....
  • BrandNewFabulousMe
    BrandNewFabulousMe Posts: 259
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    Help me Mutant. You’re my only hope. I have information that leads me to believe that Big Sandwich Corp has infiltrated our educational system and is compromising our students' reading comprehension ability!

    *hologram fades in and out*

    Help me Mutant. You’re my only hope. I have information that leads me to believe that Big Sandwich Corp has infiltrated our educational system and is compromising our students' reading comprehension ability!

    *hologram fades in and out*

    LOL
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    To Mutant's lab assistant.... whatever you do, don't unlock the door. She will scream and try to beat the door down demanding bread and associated fillings.... no matter what, DO NOT GIVE THEM TO HER. No matter what threats she makes. Just make sure there's nothing in the room with which she could threaten to harm herself or anyone else, in an attempt to blackmail you into giving her sandwich ingredients and paraphernalia

    All is well fellow Internet human. All is well. I am the Mutant/host and I have escaped my prison.
    The Mutant/host is fine and would like to remind the Neanderthal/Potential host to eat a delicious sandwich today.

    Intact all fellow Internet humans/Potential hosts you should all eat a delicious sandwich today. There is no harm in the sandwich. The sandwich is love.

    *grasps head in hand and drops to knees*

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

    we intervened too late..... all is lost.....

    *must resist urge to go to Lebanese takeaway over the road*

    This is disturbing. The Sandwich Corp seem to be attacking from remote geographic locations simultaneously.

    *mmmmmm shawarma wrap*

    They seem to be projecting their ideas into our thoughts somehow.....

    *delicious spicy shawarma wrapped in freshly baked Lebanese flat bread, cooked in a traditional oven*

    Must figure out how to stop this before.... before.... they completely..... take over... my.... mind....

    Embrace the sandwich, future host. The sandwich loves you. You love the sandwich. Chthulu R'yleh Waga N'Hahl Ftagn
  • BeccaBollons
    BeccaBollons Posts: 652 Member
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    We've lost her
  • TxHamJello
    TxHamJello Posts: 31
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    We've lost her

    Lost her? I say she is finally found!

    Sincerely,
    Sandwich Corp
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    I have managed to prevent the Sandwich Corp from infiltrating my thoughts by making myself a special hat. It's a cowboy hat, coated with tin foil, then a second coating made of the special waxy paper used to wrap burgers or shawarma wraps in before they are served to customers. I had to purchase a large quantity of burgers and shawarma wraps in order to get enough of the special paper to fully cover the hat. However the hat is fully covered and fully functional.

    In order to protect other people from the temptation of eating said snack foods enclosed in bread products, I ate them myself. Please, don't call me a hero, I did it for the greater good. And it was delici.... I mean a supreme sacrifice.

    I now must urge you all to go out and make your special hats in order to protect your brains from infiltration by Sandwich Corp. Many fast food outlets sell the kinds of bread-enclosed snacks that are wrapped in the right kind of special paper.

    This has been a public service announcement, I bid you all good day.
  • dmoppy
    dmoppy Posts: 45 Member
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    Embrace the sandwich, future host. The sandwich loves you. You love the sandwich. Chthulu R'yleh Waga N'Hahl Ftagn

    Hi Mutant! I'm glad to hear you are doing well after your experiment and that sandwiches are A-OK now. This is great news! However your key board may be broken since your last sentence seems to be a random collection of letters. I'm sure it's just a coincidence they reference an ancient evil which intends to enslave mankind. Weird, right? Well anyway thanks for the SCIENCE and glad we can eat sandwhiches without a care in the world.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    We've lost her

    Lost her? I say she is finally found!

    Sincerely,
    Sandwich Corp

    Thankyou master. SandwichCorp is a good and kind leader.
  • _errata_
    _errata_ Posts: 1,653 Member
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    BIG SANDWICH IS PEOPLE!

    1341432536964.jpg
  • somerisagirlsname
    somerisagirlsname Posts: 467 Member
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    bahahaha this is still a thing. Yess.
  • _errata_
    _errata_ Posts: 1,653 Member
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    bahahaha this is still a thing. Yess.

    We can never let this thread die. The world must know the truth about big sandwich.
  • _errata_
    _errata_ Posts: 1,653 Member
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    :: picks up phone ::

    I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I cam here to tell you how this is going to be begin. I'm going to hang up this phone. And I'm going to show them what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world, where anything is possible.

    Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.

    ::hangs up phone::
    ::puts on shades::
    ::queues awesome rage against the machine music::
  • _errata_
    _errata_ Posts: 1,653 Member
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    The truth about Gluten that big sandwich has covered up:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLc2hDHVHgo

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