Dating Question

Follow_me

I would like if a women would approach me. But sadly it never happens. Not even here...and it would be only a request. Maybe it's me... :-(

THIS ^^^

sakuragreenlily

I feel like the only guys that have ever asked me out are in the categories of: homeless, drunk, and/or has terrible hygiene. So basically I've come to feel comfortable doing the asking out - if I didn't, I'd end up that crazy dog lady that offers bread crusts to strangers.

I don't know why it makes me feel good to know that the homeless drunks with bad hygiene in your area still have enough confidence to be asking people out. Kinda heart warming actually.

simplycorey

i meet people (friends of friends; strangers) when i'm out (private parties, public places) and go from there (like, i am not dating online). it *always* starts organically through conversation, so it's hard to tell how things start -- i am usually gregarious when in a social setting (though am temperamentally introverted) & am attracted to talkative people. if there's a vibe, i see where it goes.

*wait, i for sure do and have initiated many of these conversations.

i am horrified when someone just randomly, out of nowhere, just decides he likes the looks of me from afar and makes "an approach". ew ew ew.

I'm very similar. I photograph weddings on the weekends and I'm very social when I'm working but I am very much an introvert. I meet a lot of people at weddings but the guys that flirt with me the most are in their 20's. I do look a little younger than I am but it's still super frustrating. I also don't like random "approaches" and would rather start off with a conversation instead of a "move".

I don't like meeting people in bars.

I don't either - mostly because I am not a big drinker and don't really want to be with a big drinker. Every now and then is fine but it's just not my thing. So, I have no idea where to meet people. I love my church but it's either married couples or college kids. I have a demanding schedule with work and kids so I don't get out much and I don't really want to waste time or money on online dating when you have to weed through so many crazies. I think I am just going to be a crazy goat lady instead (cats are so overdone). I seriously may try a meet up group in my area or something eventually, just to get out of the house and do something for me. I'm not in any hurry though. lol

Inkratlet

Meetup groups are good. I go to one regularly and have met some really nice people. Lots of women a similar age to me that I have formed friendships with, BUT from a dating perspective? Nope. All the men are very unsuitable. VERY...

Anyway, I didn't join the meetup to date but to make friends so from that perspective it's been perfect.

Yiazach

Well in your case corey it could be a bit intimidating for a guy if you were to approach him cause you ve got quite the looks on you. After all what is left to us men in this world if you take that away from us!?HUH?!:) As for the stranger approaching i can get why most girls hate it, most guys are creepy and/or and jackassy. On the other hand you gals shouldnt always be in rejection mode, it is not fair to us. Just give the signs (you know them and you know how to give them) to the guys that you like!

TamTastic

Why didn't I see this thread last night! :laugh:

I am interested in these answers myself. I get attention and men will look and stare and double take...and then nothing. I think "Okkk!" I know some may be in a relationship, married, etc. But I am old-fashioned as well. It seems like more and more men are wanting the women to do the work. Maybe shy or maybe women are more bold these days? I'm not sure.

I work in an eye doctors office as a technician, billing, yada yada.....and will do some sales with glasses and contact lenses. Some patients flirt...and seem interested. Of course it's office policy to not date patients!! :laugh:

ekz13

I'd rather ***** slap a rabid moose that have to go through the dating thing again at this point.

bakemma

I just want to know, how OBVIOUS do you have to be for a guy to know you are interested?
I try to show a dude I'm interested but he'll seem like he is not interested so I just drop it, and months later he'll say something along the lines of, " I've always liked you..." Like DUDE I tried to show you how much I liked you before, why are you telling me this now!!!

wolverine66

my thinking is, regardless of gender, you shouldn't lose an opportunity just because you are waiting for someone else to make a move.

TR0berts

My wife asked me out first.

Seems to have worked out OK for the last 17+ years.

Patti1023

I just want to know, how OBVIOUS do you have to be for a guy to know you are interested?
I try to show a dude I'm interested but he'll seem like he is not interested so I just drop it, and months later he'll say something along the lines of, " I've always liked you..." Like DUDE I tried to show you how much I liked you before, why are you telling me this now!!!

That's a good question - you can be obvious, but to some men you might come across like you're chasing the guy. It's impossible to know which ones are "dumb as a post" and you have to be over the top obvious for them to get it, vs the ones who can tell you're interested but they aren't interested in you. Quite the dilemma...

silver_arrow3

I found that being old fashioned and letting guys come to me got me absolutely nowhere. If I want a date, I have to go get it. I'm okay with that though. I've gone out of my comfort zone on a few occasions (mostly with application of social lubricant), but I haven't been disappointed. I know rejection comes with the territory, but if I'm shy and timid and I miss out on a great guy because I'm too scared, it's my own damn fault.

Unknown

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The_Enginerd

Totally okay and complimented if I get approached. Screw the games.

RivenV

I love the feeling of being pursued. Not fleeing through the trees like I'm being hunted or anything, but to know that there's an interest from another person and they're rearranging their schedule/day to pay attention to me makes me feel special and wanted. Duh.

That sounds much more conceited and self-centered than it did in my head.

Anyway, I've only made the "first move" on one guy, and even then, it was only because he was friend-zoning me. Friend-zoning me hard. I'd tried the typical girl thing--flirt and hope he notices and asks me out. We had one class in common (in college), but we had some mutual friends so we would occasionally see each other socially. Finally, one night, after partaking in some liquid courage at a house party, we were talking off by our twosies and I just kissed him. He was quite surprised. He knew I had a thing for him, but that was pretty out of character for me. That was five years ago.

We've been married for two years.

LarryDUk

I'm not that smart and really bad at picking up signals. I generally realise that a girl likes me when she starts to get undressed.

jackpotclown

I've been approached and I've approached, the first with good success....and the other with nowhere near as good success....I think the reason some people don't get it is because for one reason or another it just wasn't mean to happen. You're probably saving yourself from someone who probably wasn't going to make the cut anyway. That being said, I'm pretty bad at catching the signals for myself, yet really good at seeing it for others as I'm a people watcher \m/

TR0berts

That being said, I'm pretty bad at catching the signals for myself, yet really good at seeing it for others as I'm a people watcher \m/

True. I'm the same way. I think that once we're emotionally involved in the situation, it gets difficult to differentiate what we're seeing and what we want to see.

Carl01

I just want to know, how OBVIOUS do you have to be for a guy to know you are interested?
I try to show a dude I'm interested but he'll seem like he is not interested so I just drop it, and months later he'll say something along the lines of, " I've always liked you..." Like DUDE I tried to show you how much I liked you before, why are you telling me this now!!!

What did you do...it may not be as obvious as you think.

heylookitsval

I don't remember the question, but I like when dudes approach me...it makes me feel less desperate.

Carlyannabelle

I don't generally approach men, but I have on occasion. I think I am kind of old fashioned when it comes to that and like being pursued. Although, if I am interested, I will flash a smile or hold a gaze in the hopes they will approach me. Sometimes I am a bit naive when it comes to men flirting with me as well, lol. What may be obvious to others, is not so much to someone else.

bakemma

I just want to know, how OBVIOUS do you have to be for a guy to know you are interested?
I try to show a dude I'm interested but he'll seem like he is not interested so I just drop it, and months later he'll say something along the lines of, " I've always liked you..." Like DUDE I tried to show you how much I liked you before, why are you telling me this now!!!

What did you do...it may not be as obvious as you think.

I guess I think it's obvious. Smile, flirt, ask about his life, laugh at his jokes, compliment him...etc. Just everything in genera.

RivenV

I just want to know, how OBVIOUS do you have to be for a guy to know you are interested?
I try to show a dude I'm interested but he'll seem like he is not interested so I just drop it, and months later he'll say something along the lines of, " I've always liked you..." Like DUDE I tried to show you how much I liked you before, why are you telling me this now!!!

What did you do...it may not be as obvious as you think.

I guess I think it's obvious. Smile, flirt, ask about his life, laugh at his jokes, compliment him...etc. Just everything in genera.

Sounds to me like you're just being nice and making conversation. I do this with uh... everyone, just about.

KANGOOJUMPS

HUH?
DUH?
A good man wants a woman who will jump him , now.

bakemma

Sounds to me like you're just being nice and making conversation. I do this with uh... everyone, just about.

Yeah me too, but I go out of my way with him because we don't live close to each other. I'll just continue to work on my skills. lol

Carl01

Sounds to me like you're just being nice and making conversation. I do this with uh... everyone, just about.

Yeah me too, but I go out of my way with him because we don't live close to each other. I'll just continue to work on my skills. lol

The main point is that it is probably no where near as obvious as you were certain it was.

simplycorey

I get attention and men will look and stare and double take...and then nothing. I think "Okkk!" I know some may be in a relationship, married, etc. But I am old-fashioned as well. It seems like more and more men are wanting the women to do the work. Maybe shy or maybe women are more bold these days? I'm not sure.

I get this too and it's so frustrating! Or they'll actually flirt with me all night at the weddings I photograph and then no phone number or anything at the end of the night. Sometimes that's just what I need though ... the feeling of a date without any kind of commitment. lol

I love the feeling of being pursued. Not fleeing through the trees like I'm being hunted or anything, but to know that there's an interest from another person and they're rearranging their schedule/day to pay attention to me makes me feel special and wanted. Duh.

That sounds much more conceited and self-centered than it did in my head.

:laugh: Then I'll be conceited and self-centered with you because I like that too. Congrats on your marriage - I think that's awesome. I am bad about staying in my comfort zone.

I think the reason some people don't get it is because for one reason or another it just wasn't mean to happen. You're probably saving yourself from someone who probably wasn't going to make the cut anyway. That being said, I'm pretty bad at catching the signals for myself, yet really good at seeing it for others as I'm a people watcher \m/

I'm bad at catching signals for myself too. Unless it's completely obvious ... and then sometimes I just get creeped out. :indifferent:

bakemma

Sounds to me like you're just being nice and making conversation. I do this with uh... everyone, just about.

Yeah me too, but I go out of my way with him because we don't live close to each other. I'll just continue to work on my skills. lol

The main point is that it is probably no where near as obvious as you were certain it was.

Okay, so what would YOU do to be more obvious? ( if you were a girl. lol )

RivenV

Sounds to me like you're just being nice and making conversation. I do this with uh... everyone, just about.

Yeah me too, but I go out of my way with him because we don't live close to each other. I'll just continue to work on my skills. lol

The main point is that it is probably no where near as obvious as you were certain it was.

Okay, so what would YOU do to be more obvious? ( if you were a girl. lol )

I pushed him against a wall and kissed him. You can risk being rejected outright, or you can continue to be subtle and risk being rejected after you've invested all kinds of time and energy in him. And that latter option is provided that he ever even notices.

bakemma

I pushed him against a wall and kissed him. You can risk being rejected outright, or you can continue to be subtle and risk being rejected after you've invested all kinds of time and energy in him. And that latter option is provided that he ever even notices.

Impressive!