Would you work with your SO?

sillygoosie

The wonderful company I work for has just offered me a job opportunity for my SO. He has expressed interest in the past about working for us. This could open up a whole new career for him.

My big question is, do you think this is just a horrendous idea? We would rarely see each other very much as he would be in the field and I am in the office. Unfortunately, it is my position sometimes to crack the whip on my guys and make sure they are doing what they're supposed to be doing. I need to talk to him soon because the certification program starts in December. It just so happens that we are also about to move in together.

I'm looking more for experiences of couples who have worked together and less of relationship advice. We are solid but I want it to stay that way.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

mgmlap

Hubby and I met at work...I rarely saw him..but then it was nice when I did. I don't think its a bad idea as long as you both go into this knowing that you may have to crack the whip on him a few times

Naomi0504

I would never do it.

If you won't interact at work every day, it may just work for you though

sillygoosie

That is my thinking. I just have high hopes because we have two other couples here.

mreeves261

This is a bad idea on all levels. If something goes wrong, it's a total mess for everyone.

I second this!

BlueBombers

Would I? Never.

But, that's just me.

djeffreys10

In my fantasy world, I am eventually married to a hottie that lifts and we own a gym togther where we work and lift together. So, I guess I WOULD work with a SO. However, I can see where being a superior to a SO at work could really mess things up both personally and professionally.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

SF2514

I think you would both have to come into it with a good understanding of your roles and boundaries. If you both had a firm grasp on those I don't see a problem as long as you're both not overly sensitive. I don't think it's a good idea for most couples though.

Ed98043

I worked at the same company as my SO for 5 years, but we were in different departments and rarely interacted, and neither had any "say" over the other. There were no problems. However, if one of us was the supervisor of the other, I don't think that would have been a good situation at all. Not only because of altered relationship dynamics, but also the danger of perceived favoritism by coworkers.

You mention having to "crack the whip on my guys"...does that mean you would be his boss? Is there a chance that he would be able to gain the experience he needs and then go elsewhere? I mean, he deserves to know about the offer regardless rather than find out after the fact that you made the decision for him, but you definitely need to talk about how it would feel to be the whip cracker and crackee and whether that would cause resentment that would spill over into the home life.

runningvegan

Financially, I would not put all my eggs in one basket.

ehorn625

At my job, it is against company policy for someone to supervise a family member/spouse/so.

Timshel_

I could.

Holly_Roman_Empire

No I wouldn't. I used to work with him when I was in the military, but we were shift workers where two people were required to be on shift 24/7. We were never paired together for obvious reasons, but it was for the best. With him being a higher rank than me, it would not have been a good idea.

Edit to add: One time we WERE on shift together by accident (he traded shifts with someone to help a friend out), and it did not go well. He said something that hurt my feelings, and then we had to go home together. Who do you complain to now about having a bad day at work? You just have to sit on it to not make a fight break out.

That was just one time though, and I am glad to say that we are happily married now with a bambino. Keep work and home separate when it comes to you and your significant other. :-D

pawnstarNate

are you kidding me? I'm having trouble living with her much less working with her.

patrickblo13

I did but wouldn't recommend it. I met my wife at my former job. I worked there for 3 months while dating. We both say now it is good we don't work together. That break during the day makes the evenings something to look forward to

bkw99508

Been there done that TWICE (same husband)

First time I worked for him....worked fine because I followed him to a remote location and it was great to be getting paid.

Second time, he joined the company I worked for. He didn't directly report to me but did have some deliveralble to me. It didn't work out too badly. We just made a rule that we could only talk about work at home for 15 mintues. Otherwise we found ourselves talking about work ALL the time!

staticsplit

I work in the same company with my husband and have for two years. It's been fine, though we work in different offices at the moment, when we move buildings we'll be in the same room. I like it because we can go for lunch together or walk home together, gossip about people at work.

It's funny though because for the first 5 years of our relationship we were 6,000 miles apart, and now we're rarely more than 20 feet from each other.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

When I was 16 I dated a co-worker at McDonalds....


But really, that's a really hard one. I think I'd steer clear unless he really needs it, or it's much better than what he has.

CallMeCupcakeDammit

My stepmom started working for my dad before they got married, and they're still working together. They've been doing it for 30 yrs. Sometimes I wonder how my dad can spend that much time with her, but I guess he must really love her.

LH85DC

I met my SO at my last job, and it worked out fine for us, BUT we worked in different departments. Different projects, different topic areas (researchers), different bosses, etc. We only worked on one topic together in the two years that we worked together, and it was super short-lived. Might have worked out differently if we had to work on the same project all the time, but I rarely saw him unless I went out of my way to find him! Still would have been awkward if we had broken up, since we hung out with the same people...

BamaBreezeNSaltAire

Been there, done, that, HELL NO won't do it again!

KANGOOJUMPS

nope

SlimJanette

I worked with my ex husband for many years. As long as the issues are work are related to work and home life is home life. I worked with him going through our separation and it was tough but you have to be an adult.
Good Luck.

sabified

It might be ok beause you wouldn't be constantly in each others faces... but the tricky part is the fact that you would be in a higher position over him and lots of guys CANNOT handle that.

Speak to him frankly- if this is going to be good for his career then it is definitely something you can both make work. But HE needs to understand that you will often be correcting his mistakes/disciplining him, and HE NEEDS TO BE ABLE TO RESPECTFULLY HANDLE THAT.

This working out is entirely on his maturity levels!

(oh, that being said.. you need to not get power trippy either, lol)

FitMama2013

I met my husband on our first day at work. I refused to date him for a year because I didn't want to date a co-worker, but I gave in 5.5 years ago. We moved in together and sat right next to each other at work. It has it's challenges and I don't recommend working so closely for a long period of time (we since transferred to another office and work on different squads), but we have never had an issue and I love working with him (and vice versa). You do need to consider, though, what happens if your relationship ends - could you still work together? And would either of you be in charge of the other? If so, BAD idea (my husband and I are equals at work).

arghbowl

I used to... Now I work with my ex :-P


We make it work. Is it awkward at times? Absolutely, but we also understand each other's moods better than anyone else. We know when each one of us needs to shoulder more of the load, where to divide the line, etc.

spiralicious

As long as you are careful about separating work time and home time, and as long as he's not the kind of person who can't take criticism, it CAN work.
Source: I work with my husband now, in a similar situation - he's the field, I'm in the office, I occasionally have to give the guys heck (usually just over not filling in forms correctly, but still.) It's fine. We both ***** about work, but at least it's about the same things, so it takes half the time it used to! lol And I love those moments when I do get to see him at work - obviously we keep it professional, but since I married my best friend, you know, I actually enjoy his presence!

We're also starting a business together, which is a LOT trickier, and I know there will be some hurdles, but we have an extremely strong relationship, and going into it knowing that there will be challenges helps you overcome them. If this is a good career opportunity for him, and it makes sense financially, personally, I would go for it. Just make sure he doesn't burn any bridges where he's at now, in case he wants to go back

My SIL also works with hers (that's how they met, actually) and it's been years and years now - they're still at the same company and haven't had any issues.

brittvondiesel

My boyfriend and I met at work and are both still employed by the same company. We don't work directly with each other, so the cracking of the whip is left for other areas of our relationship.

Iron_Lotus

I'd kill him