Would you work with your SO?

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13

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  • doughnutwretch
    doughnutwretch Posts: 498 Member
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    Hmm, if he were your husband, I think if he's going to be out in the field a lot, it wouldn't be an issue, even if you have to "crack the whip" on occasion. However, as a boyfriend, there is always that potential that things won't work out and that puts a lot of stress on you both if that happens and seriously complicates things.

    My parents ran a business together for a number of years and did is successfully, and my current bosses do the same, but they've been married for quite some time and had a really solid foundation before they started working together.

    *Edited to note: if this is a really good opportunity for him, I wouldn't keep it from him.
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
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    No
  • frommetobetterme
    frommetobetterme Posts: 124 Member
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    I don't think it doesn't 'look good on you'. It's something that may have pretty big repercussions.

    My father-in-law and his gf have been together over 20 years. He owned the salon and hired her when she was 18. She then bought the salon from him when he retired. The salon is in their house. So they're pretty much together 24/7 and all is good.

    For others, that wouldn't work. It really depends on your relationship and how you interact with each other. It's something the two of you need to discuss. It might just be wise to have a key phrase for each other or something when you think you're crossing the boundaries at home or at work and that you can use wisely. Like that, if he thinks you're being more critical of him than his colleagues, or too lenient, he can point it out discreetly. But he's got to be sure not to abuse that. You also need to be able to keep it cool if he plays that card and be able to evaluate your actions objectively. It's the same as at home, you'll have to be even more careful about not gossiping about work as if what you truly feel gets around, it may not have good consequences.

    It's a balancing act and it really depends on your temperaments and personalities. It can be very good or disastrous. Talk about it, and decide what you think will work for both of you.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    I think it depends on the kind of relationship you have with your SO. It's not that you love each other but do you really LIKE each other. Meaning can you spend a lot of time with them. Do you enjoy each other's company all the time when you are together?

    A job opportunity came up for me in my husband's department. His manager was extremely leery about hiring me and told both of us that if we couldn't work together we would both have to look for another job. We LOVED working together. Our cubes were next to each other. We drove into work together, we went to lunch together. People would constantly ask "Don't you two get tired of seeing each other? I couldnt work with my spouse!" But we enjoyed it so much. In fact when I found a better job at a different company we both had to make the adjustment not being able to see each other all day.

    25yrs later in our marriage we still enjoy each others company more now than ever. So in my opinion it can work.
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
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    Hmm, if he were your husband, I think if he's going to be out in the field a lot, it wouldn't be an issue, even if you have to "crack the whip" on occasion. However, as a boyfriend, there is always that potential that things won't work out and that puts a lot of stress on you both if that happens and seriously complicates things.

    My parents ran a business together for a number of years and did is successfully, and my current bosses do the same, but they've been married for quite some time and had a really solid foundation before they started working together.

    *Edited to note: if this is a really good opportunity for him, I wouldn't keep it from him.

    This is my thinking, exactly. Marriage is discussed a lot but it's still just a future plan and not a reality. And this is something that would be so good for him so I don't want to hold him back. He will have all of his training and education paid for by the company...which happens to be a husband/wife/son team.
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
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    I would if we were on the same level, or in a different department / didn't see each other much.

    If we actually worked alongside each other, and one of us was above the other (ie: their boss/supervisor) I don't think I could handle that, it'd be a little weird.

    My SO and I want to at some point go into business together, and own our own gym. Like I mentioned though, we'd both be on the same level so I don't really mind.
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
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    I've been working with my husband for a few years now. Most of the times I'm glad I do but there is the odd time I wish I didn't. Wouldn't change it for the world though.
  • Happy_10yr
    Happy_10yr Posts: 287 Member
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    Same company but different functional area.

    Same company, same department....NO!!!
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
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    To me this is too close to "don't dip you pen in company ink" Only 1 of the, um, few, um several times worked out decent......
  • JustJennie13
    JustJennie13 Posts: 218
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    I worked with my SO who is now my husband. At times I had to crack the whip too but... we both understood that work was work. It never had a negative impact on our relationship.
  • mrk1185
    mrk1185 Posts: 44 Member
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    The wonderful company I work for has just offered me a job opportunity for my SO. He has expressed interest in the past about working for us. This could open up a whole new career for him.

    My big question is, do you think this is just a horrendous idea? We would rarely see each other very much as he would be in the field and I am in the office. Unfortunately, it is my position sometimes to crack the whip on my guys and make sure they are doing what they're supposed to be doing. I need to talk to him soon because the certification program starts in December. It just so happens that we are also about to move in together.

    I'm looking more for experiences of couples who have worked together and less of relationship advice. We are solid but I want it to stay that way.

    My wife and I are both music teachers, and we split two schools last year (admittedly, much of the time we were not working together, but we did sometimes team teach.) We work really well as a team and planned together, shared strategies, etc. It was a great experience and I think we both benefited from it.

    It depends what the work is, but I'm not opposed to working with an SO as long as you can keep work separate from home life. Having those boundaries keeps you from going insane.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
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    If it's your own business and it success is reward for both of you then that is fine. But if you are working for someone else then it becomes tricky. I personally wouldn't because I like to have some alone time outside my own mind and taking #2s.

    Also, if your SO is your supervisor or you are his, are you guys allowed to make jokes or complain to others about your supervisor? Cause everyone bitshes about their both at one point or another.
  • bzmom
    bzmom Posts: 1,332 Member
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    My experience:

    My husband and I work for the same company. I started working here about 3 years before he joined. I work in the I.T. department he is an Auditor for one of our programs. I do work with him on occasions but only to troubleshoot equipment or deploy new ones. I have now 7+ years working for this company and yes he still works here too however he is pretty much about 95% of his time on the field so I rarely see him.

    My thoughts I do not have any problem working for the same company as my husband but then again we have been married for over 15years so I guess barely moving in with someone vs been married for so long not sure if it would work out the same way or not. Again though I really rarely see him we may do lunch once in a blue moon but not often.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    If you're his boss, its a bad idea. Had you 2 been completely different departments and rarely saw each other (maybe an hour a day, tops) it woulda been fine.

    That combined with the fact that you haven't even started living together, this just seems like a recipe for disaster to me.
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,411 Member
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    We have worked for the same company but thank goodness it was a big one. We could never work together! We both have to be boss and it sometimes get dicey when we work together on home projects! ;)

    We did meet for lunch occasionally and sometimes rode in together when we both worked down town. He moved to a suburb office which worked out great because he was the one that was closest when school or daycare called!
  • elainecroft
    elainecroft Posts: 595 Member
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    From what I've seen with people who work together, they seem incapable of talking about anything other than work. I wouldn't want to - I like the people I work with and I like my SO, and I think in order to keep on liking both of them there needs to be some separation. :)
  • theprices
    theprices Posts: 97 Member
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    My husband and I work together in a similar situation. We've been married 9 years, and working together 7 years and going strong. Some days get a bit frustrating....but it works for us.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    I think working together is fine, but not when one of you is the boss. That's asking for trouble.
  • SPPutnam
    SPPutnam Posts: 51 Member
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    My wife and I have worked together twice and it was great. In both situations we were not in the same department, so there weren't any conflicts of interest at home. Best of luck to you.
  • SpecialKitty7
    SpecialKitty7 Posts: 678 Member
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    i have several times. first time he and i both worked for my mom in the showroom of the company, then later he and i worked in two different departments, neither of us for my mom (i was in advertising, he was in the warehouse, and mom was still in the showroom). later he worked for me as an admin at my company. all times it worked out just fine. just make sure you set your boundaries ahead of time and that you don't treat your SO any better or worse than you'd treat anyone else.

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