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AmberJewelCR
AmberJewelCR Posts: 97
in Chit-Chat
how important is sex in a marriage?

I was having a conversation with someone this morning that said their neighbors have had sex once in 14 months.

To me, sex is a 10. Ties close with communication in a marriage.

Your thoughts?
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Replies

  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    10/10... Would bang.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    10/10... Would bang.
    agreed \m/
  • swede160
    swede160 Posts: 24 Member
    For me 2 (with or without marriage being a factor). For my husband I'm sure it's a 10.
    Clearly a disconnect.
  • Naomi0504
    Naomi0504 Posts: 964 Member
    For me it's a 10

    Editing to add that it's a 10 now, hasn't always been. People/things change in the marriage course :smile:
  • AmberJewelCR
    AmberJewelCR Posts: 97
    For me 2 (with or without marraige being a factor). For my husband I'm sure it's a 10.
    Clearly a disconnect.

    did you know this when you got married?
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    At least an 8-9.
  • AmberJewelCR
    AmberJewelCR Posts: 97
    10/10... Would bang.
    agreed \m/

    this made me laugh
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    For me 2 (with or without marraige being a factor). For my husband I'm sure it's a 10.
    Clearly a disconnect.

    did you know this when you got married?

    did HE?!
  • AmberJewelCR
    AmberJewelCR Posts: 97
    For me 2 (with or without marraige being a factor). For my husband I'm sure it's a 10.
    Clearly a disconnect.

    did you know this when you got married?

    did HE?!

    that's a good question too
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    I'd probably say 7. But I will say that all other aspect of our marriage are better when we are having regular sex. I swear he even cleans more.
  • swede160
    swede160 Posts: 24 Member
    I was a different person then. After two kids, depression, stressful career and his general lack of affection outside the bedroom it has become this.
    When I lay down, I just want to sleep, to dream.
  • Sovictorrious
    Sovictorrious Posts: 770 Member
    Sex is a 9, but enjoying his company is a 10/10.
  • JustAboutDelicious_wechanged
    JustAboutDelicious_wechanged Posts: 2,486 Member
    I think it's different for everyone obviously, but in my 20s it would have been a 2....in my 30s it would be a 10.

    Gawd, I love my 30s.
  • swede160
    swede160 Posts: 24 Member
    We were very much on the same page in the early years.
  • teesfood
    teesfood Posts: 77
    DAMN! Thats terrible. To me 8-9... I had a hard time functioning when I was married and we didnt have sex. :explode:
  • nomeejerome
    nomeejerome Posts: 2,616 Member
    What is with all of the marriage threads today?
  • obrientp
    obrientp Posts: 546 Member
    8 or 9ish.
  • teesfood
    teesfood Posts: 77
    I think it's different for everyone obviously, but in my 20s it would have been a 2....in my 30s it would be a 10.

    Gawd, I love my 30s.

    RIGHT!!!
  • InForBacon
    InForBacon Posts: 1,508 Member
    With my ex husband, I used to say I could go for long stretches without sex. Didn't really seem like a priority, even early on when we were newly in love and all that jazz. With my boyfriend now, hot dayum I need it all the time. Not sure if it's because I'm nearing that sexual prime thing, I'm more sexually attracted to him than I was my ex, he's better in bed, or any number of reasons but I know it's changed drastically.
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
    I was a different person then. After two kids, depression, stressful career and his general lack of affection outside the bedroom it has become this.
    When I lay down, I just want to sleep, to dream.

    this just made me so sad
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    I was a different person then. After two kids, depression, stressful career and his general lack of affection outside the bedroom it has become this.
    When I lay down, I just want to sleep, to dream.

    this just made me so sad

    Me too. :cry:
  • AmberJewelCR
    AmberJewelCR Posts: 97
    I was a different person then. After two kids, depression, stressful career and his general lack of affection outside the bedroom it has become this.
    When I lay down, I just want to sleep, to dream.

    this just made me so sad

    Ditto
  • sjebert
    sjebert Posts: 212 Member
    9 - 10 with me, and our marriage has really suffered since we don't have it regularly
  • illuvatree
    illuvatree Posts: 185 Member
    I think a level of intimacy is definitely important! It doesn't have to be about sex --- some people are asexual and might not like it much after all, and everyone is different, but some sort of intimacy builds trust and bonding for sure. A lot of people achieve that with sex, but there are definitely other options. Massages, cuddling, etc. Or a combination of all of the above!
  • _Krys10_
    _Krys10_ Posts: 1,234 Member
    8-9
  • TheSink
    TheSink Posts: 97 Member
    We make balloon animals together.
  • AmberJewelCR
    AmberJewelCR Posts: 97
    I think a level of intimacy is definitely important! It doesn't have to be about sex --- some people are asexual and might not like it much after all, and everyone is different, but some sort of intimacy builds trust and bonding for sure. A lot of people achieve that with sex, but there are definitely other options. Massages, cuddling, etc. Or a combination of all of the above!

    While I agree with most of what you said, I feel like sex, the act of having sex not just "being intimate" is very very important.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    I was a different person then. After two kids, depression, stressful career and his general lack of affection outside the bedroom it has become this.
    When I lay down, I just want to sleep, to dream.

    this just made me so sad

    Ditto

    I filed for a divorce when that happened.
  • FatHuMan1
    FatHuMan1 Posts: 1,028 Member
    8 - 9. Not the most important thing in the relationship but it's up there.
  • swede160
    swede160 Posts: 24 Member
    Pfft. Yeah, me to. Jeez I'm a Debby Downer.

    Anywhoo, that's why I'm here. I've got to get my groove back.
    And that starts with feeling good about myself.

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