Maybe I dont want this.....

Ninkyou

I believe that till you like yourself unconditionally or a life changing health event happens (diabetes, heart attack, etc) happens, a person will continue with habits they've become accustomed to. People desire to be lean and healthy, but let's face it, it's hard work to do when one is overweight/obese.
So really until you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, and get a back bone instead of a wishbone, you'll continue with the same behavior. Change takes sacrifice and determination. Those traits can be learned, but do take time.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

SO THIS!

bcattoes

Maybe I need to sort out the rest of my life first, then try again.....

You may need to do both at the same time. And exercise. Even when you eat horribly or overeat. Exercise. It can help with the psychology of weight control, and it provides health benefits even if you don't lose any weight.

But, yes, sort out the other stuff too. Seek help if you need to.

sabineh12

If you need some help in terms of binge eating , you may find an online intervention. for example, on here you can work your way through some modules to understand your eating behaviour and the psychology behind it.
http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=48

Chin up, you can do it and we are there for you!

VeganAmandaJ

Exactly!!! This!

I'm really sorry to hear that. I think we've all been there to some degree: you swear you're ready to make a change, but when it comes time, you just don't have the motivation. For myself, I have to reach the point that I can't take it anymore. That step has come from looking in the mirror, going to the beach, feeling sick after engorging myself on fries and pizza, from seeing someone I could look like if I tried, from actually researching what I'm eating, etc etc. but it's different for everyone. It does help to have a workout buddy, or someone to remind you about your goals. But if you're not ready, then you don't care. Saying "ah ah, eating that donut will make you gain weight" won't motivate you if the desire to eat the donut overpowers the desire to be healthy.

Maybe if you try doing something very small and manageable each day? Just something that can help you prove to yourself that you CAN make the change, even though it is small. Then you can step up from there. Being healthy is worthwhile enough that even if it takes you 3 years of slowly implementing small changes, it's better than continuing along the unhealthy path. If you drink 3 cups of coffee a day, try replacing one with tea. If you're used to eating 4 donuts for breakfast, try 2 and an apple. If usually you drink orange juice from a bottle, try getting a handful of oranges and juicing fresh. You can set a goal to make one tiny change per week, or every other week, and eventually you may feel motivated to make bigger steps.

Don't be so down on yourself...getting disheartened is really easy. But ultimately, just try to keep in mind that everything you consume that is not healthy is digging yourself into a deeper and deeper hole. I really wish you the best of luck with all this! Keep your chin up

VeganAmandaJ

I like these thoughts and ideas. I also think since you are here and took the time to write this out that it is the first step, after all, people tend to deny things and you're not, you're facing it head on, so good for you on that!
After 7 months of making health and fitness my obsession basically in a good way, I still have moments when I don't want to continue, after all, the road is so long and so far away and I grew up overweight, lost weight off and on, but always at least 50+ pounds too heavy which has really affected who I am in good and bad ways.
I think small changes are great and I like what everyone has said here. You're here, no one forced you to be here, you've got support, so take small changes, they add up over time. When you're ready to order that pizza, add some veggies and make it a small, invite a friend to bring a salad or something. Walk for 5 minutes a day, next week add a few more minutes, make habits that stick and keep adding new ones. Come on! You want to live and be happy and feel great! Sort things out with your life, yes, but start something in the right direction, don't hold off or it'll get worse and worse and harder and harder. You can do it, I know you can.

Alright... well first off, let me begin by saying that therapy is good for the soul, and would not be a bad place to start.

Perhaps, you should start off in small steps. Maybe set your calorie goal to just maintenance, and practice logging every day, and keeping yourself within your maintenance. Then, after you've successfully maintained for awhile, cut out 100 calories off your goal. And then once you are confident you can eat at 100 calorie deficit, shave off another 100, and then another 100.

Once you are doing that, then you could set a time out of your day for a walk (add some calories back in, maybe 100 or so). Once you are consistent at that, you could start looking at lifting programs.

Honestly, you don't have to make the changes that you need to make all at once. Make them one at a time, and when you are comfortable with one, add in the next one.

WannabeStressFree

BIGGEST issue i see every day here... is people making a bad decision... then throwing the rest of the day on the garbage heap because they feel bad... thinking "oh well, i already messed up THIS day... may as well..." is the worst kind of mind set.

So you splurged on lunch and ate WAY too much... ok... dont go crazy with the rest of the afternoon and evening because you messed up at lunch. make a smart decision for dinner, and dont snack all afternoon.

someone above me posted... dont start a new day tomorrow... start RIGHT NOW.
Youre a human, we mess up, we have weak moments... dont let it defeat you. you CAN stop yourself.. you just have to make the decision to WANT to.

this is me right now after having work treats- I was thinking about going home and being lazy, maybe eat more snacks, but NO! I'm sticking to my lifting and aerobic planned workout. I've gone through so much of my life just throwing the day away after eating what I feel I shouldn't.
Don't give up! we live and learn, and improve ourselves, right?!

shapefitter

You are definately in the wrong job, if you love food with such passion.

remcobob

Good luck to you. I think you know what to do so I won't dump more on this except for this one point.

At some point your life changed, and you started using food as comfort. Think about that point in your life, what happened, why it effected you, etc? Keep thinking about it, don't eat while you think about it but try to understand it. Get help if you need to. Support groups are out there so you can get contact with real people you can talk to and that care.

determined2bfit13

I used to feel this way just a month ago. It was like a constant struggle with myself. One day be upset that I gained so much weight and the next day I'd be stuffing myself with a fatty burger and fries and feeling even worse. I felt like I wanted to lose weight so bad but I couldn't get myself to do anything about it. I felt helpless...And then that day came when I just got tired of being deppressed and tired of hidding from everyone came and I couldnt be any happier..
I believe that everyone has their reasons and you have to find yours. What is that makes you do this to yourself? Something happened or is happening that is making you do this... Maybe its mental, maybe its physical..Go to the doctor and rule out that there is nothing physically wrong like a thyroid issue or other health problem. Once you rule that out, sit down and think about why this is happening and what YOU can do to change it.
Realize that things are not going to change right away and thats ok..As long as you take a step in the right direction, no matter how small it is.
That day that you wake up and realize that you deserve to be happy and healthy and that you WANT to do what it takes to get there will come... don't worry. BUT it has to come from YOU..

ImaginingJackie

Don't be embarrassed. We've all been here (several times for me personally), but that's why we've come here. We want to change. We want to be healthy. So feel no shame, feel no embarrassment. If anything, feel empowered. Because you CAN change.

Naener

BIGGEST issue i see every day here... is people making a bad decision... then throwing the rest of the day on the garbage heap because they feel bad... thinking "oh well, i already messed up THIS day... may as well..." is the worst kind of mind set.

So you splurged on lunch and ate WAY too much... ok... dont go crazy with the rest of the afternoon and evening because you messed up at lunch. make a smart decision for dinner, and dont snack all afternoon.

someone above me posted... dont start a new day tomorrow... start RIGHT NOW.
Youre a human, we mess up, we have weak moments... dont let it defeat you. you CAN stop yourself.. you just have to make the decision to WANT to.

this is me right now after having work treats- I was thinking about going home and being lazy, maybe eat more snacks, but NO! I'm sticking to my lifting and aerobic planned workout. I've gone through so much of my life just throwing the day away after eating what I feel I shouldn't.
Don't give up! we live and learn, and improve ourselves, right?!

Exactly! I ate a burger for lunch that was 1030 calories! lol i didnt check to see before hand like a dummy.... im already 200+ calories in the hole for the day....
what am i going to do? Go home and lift some weights, then do 30 minutes of cardio! hopefully ill have enough calories after that to have a meal replacment shake for dinner lmao

FixIngMe13

SO I've been on MFP for a while,a couple months, having joined after being stunned to discover that I had gained 50 pounds and 12 inches around my waist in one year. Since then, drumroll please, I've gained 12 more pounds and two more inches around my once thin, now fat and soft, waistline. I have lots of supportive friends. I know, intellectually, what I need to do. I know what has made me fat. But each day, I wake up with the best of intentions, and then I eat 4 donuts. Or an entire pizza for myself. Or eat at a "all you can eat" buffet. And then I hate myself for not making progress, and eat some more. It's simple.....over the past 18 months, after being thin (heck skinny) my whole life, I;ve become a binger. I cant, make that wont stop myself. And my body reflects who I am right now. I don't like it, but I just don't seem ready for change. Maybe I need to sort out the rest of my life first, then try again.....

Something is bothering you so you eat it away. You have the mentality that you screwed up, so why bother... right?

What is it going to take to wake you up and reverse that kind of thinking? A heart attack? A stroke? Diabetes? Will it take something THAT huge to wake you up? Or are you going to think about all of that and say ya know... I really need to do this for those reasons alone.
I feel really bad for you actually, because we have all been there, and no matter what we say here, eventually you are going to be the one that makes the change, not us. You have SO much support on this site... utilize it hun! I mean... focus... and search on these forums for the things you struggle with the most. This site is FULL of information and FULL of people that can help you. But ultimately, the decision is yours.

Your HEALTH is worth it. And someone very close to you... is WORTH you staying around longer for. Don't give up on YOU.... you hear me? Give up that mentality... but don't EVER give up on YOU. :flowerforyou:

healthismygame2

Perhaps I'm wrong, but I think you have a very *common* problem. You make a bad choice... & decide "well, the day is shot" so I'll just get back on track tomorrow or Monday." Don't give up. I want to encourage you to decide that when you make a bad choice to (1) accept it, (2) move on, & (3) decide with the very next thing you eat that YOU WILL GET BACK ON TRACK.

We all have to have cheat meals, but the idea is to get back on track the SAME day. Don't allow yourself to rob yourself of the victories that YOU DESERVE.

If you remove the high fat & carb contents from your house - then it may help you to stay on track. Out of sight = out of mind.

You can totally do this, but ONLY you can decide to do it.

Good luck

jennifer_417

Something will click when you are ready, whether you know what that something is or not. In the mean time..........NEVER.GIVE.UP.

:flowerforyou:

cafeaulait7

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
― Anaïs Nin