Wish people would just leave me alone!!
SharonCMach
Posts: 305 Member
I will admit, at first I loved getting attention from family & friends about my weight loss. I even started getting complements from strangers, for example people that work at the gym I go to or workers at the grocery store I shop at. But now these family, friends & strangers are now telling me Im to skinny. I mean they won't shut up!! They make comments like your so tiny, your going to blow away, you need to eat something. I feel like they are trying to sabotage me. I am no where near too skinny. Im 5'4 & 123 pounds. A healthy weight range for someone my height can be anywhere between 105 - 135. And even that can very depending on what website you go to. I just wish people would leave me alone already!!
Ugg vent over
Ugg vent over
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Replies
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Just brush it off. It's common actually.
I honestly don't listen anymore lol
Also keep in mind the only person that can sabotage you is yourself, no one esle unless they tie you down and shove food down your throat!
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Congratulation on your weight loss. I'm sure you know where you are going with this. For people who know and care for you, even onlookers, seeing such a transformation must be out of this world. May be, just may be, they are not as well versed on the weight which is normal for someone of our height. They may be concerned you might go "too far" where as we know you are just trying to see what you can achieve safely.
All the very best.0 -
Sharon,
You are absolutely beautiful and perfect the way you are. Don't ever let anyone tell you different.
However, I know where you are coming from. When I lost all my weight before, people told me I was too thin. Now that I've dropped most of the weight I gained back, people are telling me I'm skinny. It really irritates the heck out of me because it's my journey and my process and I get to say when I've reached my goal. Maybe I look thin to them because they have some pounds to lose. :laugh: :ohwell:
How about this: my grandpa, who was 5 ft 5 in tall and 135 pounds most of his entire life, used to say, "I'm right for my weight and tall for my height." Dare you to try that sometime. Bet that would make those jealous people back off. :bigsmile:
Hang in there in be proud of your accomplishment.0 -
Aarrgghh I have a lady at my local grocery store that always comments on how much weight I have lost since havibg my son 2 yesrs ago!!! And it is embarrassing because she says it infront of strangers. But as well I think these days our western population is alot larger than ever so when we see someone that i s healthy they look really skinny!!!!0
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Be PROUD of what you are doing for your body.
Dont listen to them, this sounds fairly common around, people cant handle the change and that you are doing it, it intimidates them perhaps, and it might be a deep down reaction. People puh!0 -
Isn't it funny how there is a fuzzy line between "Oh My God...you look great and have lost a lot of weight" (said with a smile) and then the "Um...you are going to blow away...eat a cheeseburger" (said with a wrinkled brow)................I think the biggest thing is that if people have seen us heavy for a while then when we no longer carry that weight we do look "too thin" because in their mind's eye they see what we used to be. I hope to come up with a standard response to use....maybe someone will help us find a good reply
In the meantime, smile because they are really acknowledging what you've worked so hard for..... 0 -
you look great. I would listen to yourself and not other people.others can always say anything but you can chose to ignore it.0
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LOL!
I get the same!
From most people, I just smile & nod. I figure why pay attention to anyone who is not there beside me while I am running, lifting, or whatever.
The one person where it stings a little is when I get it from my wife. I feel for her situation! She married a big guy who is no longer big. She understands!, just gets frustrated with my time spent being active.
As per my Doctor, my weight is right in the middle of what is considered "optimal" and he described my health as "athletic".0 -
I hate compliments, too. Jerks!
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When I lost a lot of weight, I had a lot of people tell me I had become too skinny. I doubt anyone was trying to sabotage me, it's just perception.
Think about it. They've seen you heavy and that has become what their minds expect to see. They've adapted (maybe even subconsciously) to your appearance.
Now, you've lost a lot of weight and are probably at a healthy weight. However, to them, you're just a lot smaller than you were before. They expect to see heavy and don't, and their minds translate that into too thin. Given time, they will adjust their perception and your current appearance will become the norm that they expect to see.
I've had people who were at one time telling me I looked too skinny now telling me that I look better than ever before, even though I have not gained any weight back. Just their perception has finally adjusted.0 -
I've had this from my younger sister (who is used to be the thin sister) and from my elderly neighbours. One colleague did say I needed to stop but most have said nothing but positive things. My sister is trying to tell me that aiming for a BMI of 22 is too low at 45 and you need to have the extra lbs as you get older. I think she's just trying to justify her extra lbs.0
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Everything is trying to sabotage you, it's not a conspiracy it's the "norm".
And you look awesome.
I was called "skinny" twice yesterday by different folks, but am 3 lbs still in the "obese" range. Wonder what they'll say when I hit target. Guess I'll be called anorexic. It's just a matter of perspective, I'm surrounded by obese.0 -
Thanks, in the past this has happened with people telling me im to skinny and it ends up with me eating to much and gaining some back. Im just determined to keep the weight off this time. I don't want to be on a diet, I want this to be a lifestyle change that I will follow for the rest of my life. I think the one thing that has really helped me this time was incorporating lifting weights into my exercise routine. In the past it was only cardio. My body has really changed for the better because of it. I actually enjoy working out and lifting weights now. My ultimate goal weight is 120, I have no intentions of going lower than that. I have been 110 before and I have no desire to be that thin. It did not look healthy on me and I have no desire to be that thin.
Thanks again for all the kind words everybody, Im glad this is a common issue with other people as well.0 -
Well done on ur weight loss, as long as ur happy n healthy just dont let it bother u wat anybody else thinks n says, sure they maybe concerned or even jealous, but u neednt worry, all u shud focus on is u 0
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I've had this from my younger sister (who is used to be the thin sister) and from my elderly neighbours. One colleague did say I needed to stop but most have said nothing but positive things. My sister is trying to tell me that aiming for a BMI of 22 is too low at 45 and you need to have the extra lbs as you get older. I think she's just trying to justify her extra lbs.
LOL. I have told some geriatric patients that I would like to see a few extra pounds on them so when they are sick they have a few pounds of "backup padding" to help carry them through an illness. Is she thinking you are geriatric? I'll be 45 next year - I sure hope not! 22 is a pretty tight BMI IMO but why is it not okay at 45? Seriously. Do it. Show her. She's just justifying some issue of her own.0 -
I generally don't consider my weight or diet to be up for public discussion - fat or skinny. I don't publicly discuss either intentionally. I don't brag about pounds lost, I don't tell coworkers I am dieting and I feel odd when they first started to comment.
It seems like once the Pandora's box opens it's all up for public scrutiny - should you eat that on your diet? Look at you passing on cake, I could never do that... and so on. it's not your body or decisions, it's mine. My choices aren't up for debate.
Another coworker totally doesn't understand. She knows that I'm doing something but said she couldn't give up stuff to lose the weight. (she's not that overweight) I told her I've learned to not give up. She didn't seem to even hear me say that and just went on about what she can't do without. Ok. It's about you... I missed the point of that conversation.
I think when people comment it's either they are trying to be supportive or it's about them. I can see your point and I'm generally uncomfortable with comments, but look for the reason behind the statement. Some may be "bragging" on you in a backhanded way, others maybe jealousy, some maybe just want to be with the old version of you they were comfortable with.0 -
I have read through the comments here, and notice that it is a common theme! I have had people say the same to me as well, my sisters ex-boyfriend one time said that "if I got any skinnier, I would fall through the cracks in the sidewalks" (and that was 10 pounds ago!) He is overweight and so are the women he dates (including my sister), so his perception of an average normal weight is clearly different than mine.
My response to him, and I would encourage some of you to say the same, was that I was not doing this to be "skinny," that it was to be healthy! I want to be healthy to live a long life and be active for my future children. He never said anything back to me after that response!
I think part of it could be that in society today, more and more people are overweight. I challenge you to go to the mall or the movies some day and take a look around. Being over weight is the new normal. With fast food being so convenient and cheap, and with all of the technology that allows people to be lazy, society is basically encouraging people to become overweight. Skip the gym, stay home and order pizza instead.. you can even save your order online for 'fast' re-ordering! Because of this, people that are actually in a healthy range seem really skinny. A lot of people on here have mentioned perception, and I completely agree. Not only their perception of you has been larger and now you are getting smaller, but their perception of what is an AVERAGE person is warped. We are now seen as below average, even though in our eyes we are merely in the healthy range.
Just blow off their condescending comments.. you will live a much happier and longer life than them because you are conscious of your health!0 -
I'm in the same boat - 5'4" and 120 lbs. I have just reached my goal and am very happy with where I am at. My oldest daughter makes comments like "You're so bony" just because now you can see things like cheekbones, collar bones, back bones that have always been covered with fat layers. It had me second guessing myself too, but I remind myself that this is a healthy weight for my height, it has just been a drastic change for all who are around me daily. They've never seen me this thin and will eventually get used to it.0
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My mom was always 5'4", and maintained a weight of 105#'s. She ate normal healthy meals, was active, and wasn't afraid of indulging every now and then. She had discipline. She looked good--not like a stick.
Do these people have a little extra weight they need to lose themselves? Some people are just haters. If you've passed them by in getting to your goal, they may be feeling jealous. Ignore it--your weight loss is new to them. Hopefully they'll get used to the new you and stop bringing it up all the time. If there is one person in particular who won't let up, have a serious talk with them. You're on track, you've got goals; you're doing great!0 -
Great job on your weight loss! I think ultimately people get jealous. I dont think they are really worried that you are too skinny, you are just skinnier than they are used to seeing. Just try to ignore it. When some one is really concerned about you being too skinny, they dont make comments like "eat something or youll blow away", they would take them to the side word it differently, gentlely. I hve a friends who did used to be too skinny. We were in hs and she is about 5'6 5'7, she was 113lbs... We urged her just to gain ten pounds at least. She knew she needed to, she was just going through somethings that lead to stress. Now shes 125-130. But this was years ago( that she was 113), and she wasnt super skinny, just a tiny bit too skinny, 10lbs really made the difference.0
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I will admit, at first I loved getting attention from family & friends about my weight loss. I even started getting complements from strangers, for example people that work at the gym I go to or workers at the grocery store I shop at. But now these family, friends & strangers are now telling me Im to skinny. I mean they won't shut up!! They make comments like your so tiny, your going to blow away, you need to eat something. I feel like they are trying to sabotage me. I am no where near too skinny. Im 5'4 & 123 pounds. A healthy weight range for someone my height can be anywhere between 105 - 135. And even that can very depending on what website you go to. I just wish people would leave me alone already!!
Ugg vent over
OMG lol, don't listen to them!! I am currently 142lbs and I started at 155lbs on here (I was actually 158lbs at biggest) and I am the same height as you 5'4". My goal is 125 but if I can get to 120-123ish that would be amazing! I feel for you because I know the way my friends and family and coworkers are, they will tell you how good you look when your losing but the closer you get to your goal they will think your too thin or in my case my sis will come to me saying shes worried about me... lol. About 7 years ago I got to 127 and this happened and I know it will happen again...sooo weird because it's not too thin, it's skinny but not TOO THIN.
Again don't listen to them, good on ya for getting there girl! 0 -
People notice change, and generally resist it. Most of the time they don't even know why they have a problem, they just spout off. Brush off the comments as long as you are feeling strong, healthy, and rested! They will get used to your "new" size.0
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Isn't it funny how there is a fuzzy line between "Oh My God...you look great and have lost a lot of weight" (said with a smile) and then the "Um...you are going to blow away...eat a cheeseburger" (said with a wrinkled brow)................I think the biggest thing is that if people have seen us heavy for a while then when we no longer carry that weight we do look "too thin" because in their mind's eye they see what we used to be. I hope to come up with a standard response to use....maybe someone will help us find a good reply In the meantime, smile because they are really acknowledging what you've worked so hard for.....
^ totally! And because they haven't seen us or what we've done every day for the past few months, they assume we did something drastic or unhealthy to get slimmer. I've simply responded by saying I'm almost to my goal, and my doctor says I could stand to go a little further with the weight loss (truth) and that usually ends it. I know some are jealous of my success and hate the reminder when they see it that it's time they do something about their health as well.0 -
When you're bigger, people get used to seeing you like that. Then, all of a sudden, you're a thin person, and they can't wrap their heads around how different you look, especially the changes in your face. Just roll with it. They'll stop saying it after they've gotten used to the new you.0
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I've had the same thing happen to me also, but now I just let it go over my head. :bigsmile:0
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You're looking fantastic...keep doing what you're doing.0
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Haha...NO!! That's not what this is thank you very much. :noway:
I will try not to let it get to me. In the past I have let it and it always results in me putting weight back on cause I overindulge. Not this time though, I worked to hard to get where Im at now. Im determined to stay fit & healthy for the sake of myself, husband & son. Plus I have one thing now that I didn't in the past, MFP. Ya'll are the best on here and have helped keep me focused on how to lose weight the right way and make better food choices.
Thanks so much!! 0 -
I get similar comments. I'm 5'4" and average between 119-122. I hear "I hope you're not still trying to lose." Of course at this point I'm not, my goal is to lower my bf% not my weight.0
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View it as a complement - "Thanks for noticing - I feel great!" Then move on and ask them something about themselves. Done!!!0
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