Why do men like spoiling women. (non giggity)

24

Replies

  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    idk about others but I grew up in a culture where men are the "provider". While I don't strictly believe in that gender role, the thought that I should do something nice for the people I adore is still there.

    And I don't necessarily think its only men who do it. Women constantly do nice things for us. Even my female friends (no sex or even thought about it. She is my best friends wife) would do things that're just nice. No reason needed for it. Just a way to show affection.

    Another thing is that for many folks, men and women alike, food is a huge display of affection. I guess its grinded into us from our ancestors. A typical male would bring in junk food or chocolates etc for you. Or cook you something decadent which is bound to be loaded with fatty, buttery goodness.

    Just my thoughts.
  • ThePlight
    ThePlight Posts: 3,593 Member
    Hmm.. I'm probably not the best to answer this, neither is my boyfriend.. We're both givers and like to keep each other happy, so my answer would be biased lol.

    Therefore, I will be reading this thread to see what others have to say, as I've wondered the same myself :)
  • Toblave
    Toblave Posts: 244 Member
    In functional relationships, I think a man wants to give to a woman because it makes him feel good to provide for her or just to make her happy. The woman above who said her husband doesn't have to work for sex because she never turns him down ... that's a prime example. He is fulfilled in the relationship, so his natural inclination is to do things that make her happy. I think the reverse happens a lot, too. When a woman is happy in her relationship with a man, she's going to work harder to keep him happy. And I don't think it's about self-interest. I just think when you are truly content, you have a more giving spirit.

    This x1000. Could not have put it any better.

    Agree with this completely, I was going to type out something similar but this says it.
  • michellemybelll
    michellemybelll Posts: 2,228 Member
    it's a 2 way street. when there is real, mutual love and respect, i think it's natural to want to see that person in your life happy. and to be the cause of that happiness is a wonderful feeling - male or female.
  • Mobilemuscle
    Mobilemuscle Posts: 945 Member
    ^^^ this

    one way streets lead to entitlement
  • arathena720
    arathena720 Posts: 449 Member
    They are storing up giggity points to use later.
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
    I don't spoil. If I'm taking a woman on a date, I pay. But I don't shower a woman with gifts or anything. If someone wants to be with me, it will be because she wants me. Not because I buy her a bunch of chit.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Probably because it is their love language.
  • happyindian
    happyindian Posts: 89 Member
    My husband likes to spoil me because he loves me :love:

    Sometimes you just do really nice things for the one you love, just because :flowerforyou:

    my thoughts exactly.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    I've never been "spoiled" by a man. Pretty sure I wouldn't like it.
  • CycleGuy9000
    CycleGuy9000 Posts: 290
    I don't spoil women, I think it teaches them to like the things and not the man behind them. I'm not saying don't buy them gifts and you should try to do nice things as often as you can but don't shower them with gifts, do it once in a while so she knows it means more and it's not just because you do it all the time. You want her to be attracted to the man you are, the things you say, the things you do, not what you buy her.
  • Toblave
    Toblave Posts: 244 Member
    "spoiling" isn't just showering with gifts or always giving into her. It can be bringing her a flower, leaving her notes in the morning, folding the laundry when she's not looking(if she usually does it), opening her doors or getting a pair of socks if her feet are cold. It can be a lot of things, not just buying her stuff.
  • Rosplosion
    Rosplosion Posts: 739 Member
    I'm completely spoiled. Not with material things, but with positivity and restraint. So far it's worked in that I only want one man.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    I get why men would like to douse a woman they are trying to bed with anything they can to achieve that goal. Aside from or beyond that any of you guys wanna shed some light on why you guys do it at other times when no giggity is on the table? Or even just admit that you do it and why? I always thought women were supposed to be the "givers" and doting wives but sometimes that is just not the case, right?

    (this thread is a direct response to "my SO is such a mean slimeball" and the ensuing "just break ups" and an attempt to understand the male hive mind in a totally different aspect. If you are a man-hater who has learned to hate all men because of one bad apple please save your venom for another thread. Thank you.)

    men and women are not very different from each other, humans are givers and sharers by nature. It's how we evolved. Food sharing. It's a quintessential part of being human (and also the reason why most people don't like to go to a restaurant alone, or eat in front of other people who are not eating).

    but I do agree with you regarding anti-male venom. Men and women are not very different from each other. Both genders can get hurt, both genders can be the one that hurts others for no reason. People can be really nasty, usually because of insecurities inside themselves, sometime because they're just plain selfish and egotistical. But it's not gender specific. I've met some really evil people in my time, and they include people of both genders. And some amazingly nice, kind, thoughtful, considerate people, also of both genders. People need to stop pigeon-holing each other, and treat everyone as individuals.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    I get why men would like to douse a woman they are trying to bed with anything they can to achieve that goal. Aside from or beyond that any of you guys wanna shed some light on why you guys do it at other times when no giggity is on the table? Or even just admit that you do it and why? I always thought women were supposed to be the "givers" and doting wives but sometimes that is just not the case, right?

    (this thread is a direct response to "my SO is such a mean slimeball" and the ensuing "just break ups" and an attempt to understand the male hive mind in a totally different aspect. If you are a man-hater who has learned to hate all men because of one bad apple please save your venom for another thread. Thank you.)

    men and women are not very different from each other, humans are givers and sharers by nature. It's how we evolved. Food sharing. It's a quintessential part of being human (and also the reason why most people don't like to go to a restaurant alone, or eat in front of other people who are not eating).

    but I do agree with you regarding anti-male venom. Men and women are not very different from each other. Both genders can get hurt, both genders can be the one that hurts others for no reason. People can be really nasty, usually because of insecurities inside themselves, sometime because they're just plain selfish and egotistical. But it's not gender specific. I've met some really evil people in my time, and they include people of both genders. And some amazingly nice, kind, thoughtful, considerate people, also of both genders. People need to stop pigeon-holing each other, and treat everyone as individuals.

    :grumble: That's just crazy talk. Men are evil.
  • RN514
    RN514 Posts: 1,107 Member
    "spoiling" isn't just showering with gifts or always giving into her. It can be bringing her a flower, leaving her notes in the morning, folding the laundry when she's not looking(if she usually does it), opening her doors or getting a pair of socks if her feet are cold. It can be a lot of things, not just buying her stuff.

    Aww!! He wins.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    Women are awesome, and we love them.

    Not sure more reason than that is necessary...?
  • heatherloveslifting
    heatherloveslifting Posts: 1,428 Member
    I love my wife very much, and her happiness makes me happy. Therefore spoiling her makes me happy.

    So if you think about it, I guess I do it for selfish reasons :tongue:

    Aw :heart: so many sweet men in this thread.
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 13,760 Member
    I was gonna say something cynical :brokenheart: but heatherlovelily's post stopped me in my tracks... :flowerforyou:
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    bad apple here...prove it
  • Iron_Lotus
    Iron_Lotus Posts: 2,295 Member
    My husband is so guilty of this! He is constantly showering me with gifts. I ask him why he keeps doing it, and he simply tells me I love you and I know you would like it :heart: Yep he's a keeper.
  • Macstraw
    Macstraw Posts: 896 Member
    It's simple - I married my wife because I love her & want to see her happy. If I can do things that make her smile it makes me feel good. She's very good to me & it brings me great pleasure to do things to make her life easier, more enjoyable, etc. As somebody earlier said - "just because", which sums it up perfectly. Wanting to do things like that for her tells me she's the right person for me to be with, I feel zero sense of obligation to do things........
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    Because I make him want to be the best he can be? He can't wait to come home from work to me.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    I get why men would like to douse a woman they are trying to bed with anything they can to achieve that goal. Aside from or beyond that any of you guys wanna shed some light on why you guys do it at other times when no giggity is on the table? Or even just admit that you do it and why? I always thought women were supposed to be the "givers" and doting wives but sometimes that is just not the case, right?

    Are you talking about guys who are already in a relationship or one where a relationship is not established?

    In a normal relationship it's not unusual for a man to want to show that he loves and values his partner in a number of ways, to include buying her presents or the things she wants in this way.

    What I do find unusual is this one dimensional view of men that gets pushed that their only or prime motivation for doing things is the "reward" of sex. Sex is a normal part of an adult relationship not a reward. Men enjoy being loved, showing love, giving respect and receiving respect as much as women as far as I can see.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I'm not a man-hater. But I do get discouraged. The closest I ever came to getting "spoiled" by a man was a guy that was screwing his ex behind my back. I'd like to find someone that spoils me because he wants to and not because he feels guilty for things I don't know about.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    I have dated an orchard of "bad apples," but I still love men. :heart: There are still good ones out there who are just like my dad (I hope).
  • Nikoruo
    Nikoruo Posts: 771 Member
    I don't know, i would imagine the same reasons a woman would. If they are not in a relationship than i believe it's a way to dote on her to help sway her to like him. If they are in a relationship it would be like an appreciation act, to show love.
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
    "spoiling" isn't just showering with gifts or always giving into her. It can be bringing her a flower, leaving her notes in the morning, folding the laundry when she's not looking(if she usually does it), opening her doors or getting a pair of socks if her feet are cold. It can be a lot of things, not just buying her stuff.

    ^^ Winner right here!!!

    I personally never had a man do anything for me, even though I am known to do things for them (make special dinners, pick up something I see that they may like, etc). I would love someone to do the same for me as I do for them. Reciprocation is always appreciated, but not demanded.
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
    am I the only one that has never heard sex referred to as "giggity"? That's a new one on me.

    To answer the OP question, because it makes them feel good to spoil the women they love. It's not really complicated.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    am I the only one that has never heard sex referred to as "giggity"? That's a new one on me.

    It comes from "Family Guy" I believe..

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