Why do people insist on giving (bad) advice?
MrsLannister
Posts: 347 Member
I've lost 50 pounds since I started my weight loss plan. I pretty much just eat what I want and count calories, although I do try to avoid processed foods and artificial stuff as much as possible. I feel like the fact that I am losing steadily, feel good and am rarely hungry says I am doing things the right way, at least for me. So, why then, does everyone who sees or hears that I have lost weight insist on giving me advice? I'm already losing the weight, I don't need their ill-informed advice!
I've gotten where I really don't tell anyone what I am doing, but my mom insists on telling everyone and their grandmother.
When I told my aunt I just count calories she said "well, they say it's not about calories, it's about fat." No, no one says that, not since like 1962.
If I post on facebook that I have lost weight a bunch of people ask how and when I say that I just count calories a bunch of other people chime in to inform me that I should be cutting carbs.
It's like I can't just say "hey, I lost 10 more pounds since xxx" and have people tell me "great job" or whatever. Everyone insists on telling me the "right" way to do it.
I've gotten where I really don't tell anyone what I am doing, but my mom insists on telling everyone and their grandmother.
When I told my aunt I just count calories she said "well, they say it's not about calories, it's about fat." No, no one says that, not since like 1962.
If I post on facebook that I have lost weight a bunch of people ask how and when I say that I just count calories a bunch of other people chime in to inform me that I should be cutting carbs.
It's like I can't just say "hey, I lost 10 more pounds since xxx" and have people tell me "great job" or whatever. Everyone insists on telling me the "right" way to do it.
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I think they honestly just want to be helpful, but unfortunately most people get their dietary information from magazines and Dr. Oz.0
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It is just indicative of just how widespread misinformation about weight and fitness management really is.0
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Great job, Posh! :-)0
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+1I think they honestly just want to be helpful, but unfortunately most people get their dietary information from magazines and Dr. Oz.0 -
different things work for different people......0
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It is just indicative of just how widespread misinformation about weight and fitness management really is.
This. That's why I chose to go into health education, but now I feel like i'm getting in way over my head with these people :laugh:
Great job, OP. Just keep doing what works, and just nod and smile at all the broscience and keep on. :flowerforyou:0 -
I think for the most part people mean well. I just don't tell anyone I'm losing weight or becoming healthier. To me it's a personal journey so I keep it to myself. My family knows and the people who ask if I've lost weight know (I'll tell them only if they ask).
If you don't mind telling people then I think you should continue to put the word out that you did this simply by counting calories. Let people see that you don't have to cut carbs/fat/enjoyment out of their life in order to lose weight. There are healthier ways to do it and you can be their example
. If there were more examples of people losing weight the healthy way then maybe we can drown out the dietary information from magazines and Dr. Oz.
Congrats on your journey so far! It sounds like you're doing everything the right way and getting results
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This is why I don't share my weightloss journey with anyone outside of here and my husband really. Everyone wants to tell me the "right" way to do it or inform me that the weight loss would be faster/better with xyz.
Congrats on your loss, OP! Just ignore the well-meaning but bad advice. If you feel up to it, you can always take a moment to try and educate the person, but in my experience that is usually similar to talking to a brick wall.0 -
I've lost 50 pounds since I started my weight loss plan. I pretty much just eat what I want and count calories, although I do try to avoid processed foods and artificial stuff as much as possible. I feel like the fact that I am losing steadily, feel good and am rarely hungry says I am doing things the right way, at least for me. So, why then, does everyone who sees or hears that I have lost weight insist on giving me advice? I'm already losing the weight, I don't need their ill-informed advice!
I've gotten where I really don't tell anyone what I am doing, but my mom insists on telling everyone and their grandmother.
When I told my aunt I just count calories she said "well, they say it's not about calories, it's about fat." No, no one says that, not since like 1962.
If I post on facebook that I have lost weight a bunch of people ask how and when I say that I just count calories a bunch of other people chime in to inform me that I should be cutting carbs.
It's like I can't just say "hey, I lost 10 more pounds since xxx" and have people tell me "great job" or whatever. Everyone insists on telling me the "right" way to do it.
At least they are trying. I mean its not nearly as bad as those "fat" acceptance people who think its healthy to be 300lbs and society is just shaming them. Talk about denial. I have one of those in my office shes utterly unbelievable sometimes. She thinks she's curvy ...and constantly tells me that I'm "too skinny now" and no man is gunna want a "skin and bones." She also gives me candy and muffins and other nasty crap. She does it with other people too. So bizarre.
I don't talk about my lifestyle unless people ask me in earnest. Then I'm happy to share whatever I've learned. But I try not to give advice.0 -
different things work for different people......
Oh, really? So not everyone is subject to the laws of thermodynamics and calories in/calories out? :huh: What an interesting world you must live in. *slowly back away*0 -
The jokes on them then, your doing fantastic. As long as you know what your doing works you shouldn't care about their opinions. Everybody's an expert on sorting other people's issues....0
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Join the club on that one. :grumble: I've lost 123lbs in about 15 months and a week doesn't go by without someone insinuating that I'm doing it wrong and suggesting something they've read about on Facebook or seen on Dr. Oz. It goes like this generally:I've lost 50 pounds since I started my weight loss plan. I pretty much just eat what I want and count calories, although I do try to avoid processed foods and artificial stuff as much as possible. I feel like the fact that I am losing steadily, feel good and am rarely hungry says I am doing things the right way, at least for me. So, why then, does everyone who sees or hears that I have lost weight insist on giving me advice? I'm already losing the weight, I don't need their ill-informed advice!
I've gotten where I really don't tell anyone what I am doing, but my mom insists on telling everyone and their grandmother.
When I told my aunt I just count calories she said "well, they say it's not about calories, it's about fat." No, no one says that, not since like 1962.
If I post on facebook that I have lost weight a bunch of people ask how and when I say that I just count calories a bunch of other people chime in to inform me that I should be cutting carbs.
It's like I can't just say "hey, I lost 10 more pounds since xxx" and have people tell me "great job" or whatever. Everyone insists on telling me the "right" way to do it.
Random acquaintance/customer/half assed friend/family member says: "Wow, you've lost a lot of weight!"
Me: "Why yes, I have. Just eating at a calorie defict and exercising, nothing fancy."
Random Person: "But you cut carbs/fat/processed/gluten/chocolate/junk food, right? You eat clean/paleo/primal right?"
Me. "No. I eat ice cream everyday."
Random Person. *looking annoyed now* "Well, that's not possible. You should try cutting carbs/fat/protein/salt/processed/gmo's/gluten/sugar/aspartame.... and buy raspberry ketones/garcinawhateveryoucallit/shakeology/visalus/eat clean etc.... because what you're doing CLEARLY doesn't work."
:laugh:0 -
Yep. I have a close friend who keeps doing these fad things. A few months ago, she was on a Soup Diet and proclaimed that the soups that were in the plan were all delicious and it was a very easy diet to stick with and she loved it. I think she lost 2 pounds and gained it right back. Now she's doing some sort of plan for 3 weeks that gives you a specific amount of carbs to each on each day with one day being a stuff-your-face day. She loves it, she's very proud of herself. Yet each and every day, she's made comments about "I'm not allowed to eat that" or "I'm going off my diet right now so I can eat this, and I'll start again tomorrow." She's lost nothing. Meanwhile, I've been doing this for a year and am happily counting calories and balancing my macros much better and eating foods I love and losing slowly but surely. Yet she brags that she knows the One True Way to lose weight and sort of rolls her eyes at me. I am honestly baffled by it.0
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different things work for different people......
Oh, really? So not everyone is subject to the laws of thermodynamics and calories in/calories out? :huh: What an interesting world you must live in. *slowly back away*
No its the law of cake dynamics...
cake in...and more cake in....
then bull**** comes out...0 -
I don't disagree with anything you wrote except I'll say that many folks still believe that fat causes weight gain and that eating low fat is a requirement for weight loss. Look at "pay diets" like Jenny Craig. My own sibling was told not to eat avocados (this year) by Jenny Craig because they are high fat...
Prevailing wisdom, such as it is, is ever changing. Stick around here long enough and you'll see it here even.
Congrats on your success!0 -
As has been said before different things work for different people ! As for the well meaning advisors I'd just listen to what they say , nod in agreement when appropriate & continue with what worked for me !0
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different things work for different people......
It is saying things like this that leads most people down the wrong track. It is at best a half truth.
Different things work for different people usually only in terms of sustainability. If someone needs to avoid certain foods to avoid binging, then I'm all for it. But telling people that this is the only way to lose weight and calories don't matter is laughable.0 -
Ultimately, they are trying to share with you what they think is the right way to go about losing weight - whether it's from personal experience, what they read, what somebody told them, etc. which they believe in wholeheartedly. As counting calories has worked for you, these things have worked for them & they are trying to be helpful. As their advice may not work for you, just counting calories does not work for everybody either. This is not said in trying to put down what you have done, you have found what works for you & have done an incredible job with it. No single way will work for everybody (see weights vs. cardio, no fats, no carbs, pure protein diets, cleansing, etc., etc., etc.), the easiest way to deal with everybody's "best" advice is to say, "Thanks for the thoughts & ideas" & continue doing what is obviously working for you & then forget the whole thing. I don't think anybody is looking to sabotage you or stop your progress, they are offering what they think will help you even more..........0
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First of all, GOOD JOB!!!
Second of all, what many have already said.
I'm proud of you and you are an inspiration to those of us that have not yet met our own goals 0 -
I don't disagree with anything you wrote except I'll say that many folks still believe that fat causes weight gain and that eating low fat is a requirement for weight loss. Look at "pay diets" like Jenny Craig. My own sibling was told not to eat avocados (this year) by Jenny Craig because they are high fat...
Prevailing wisdom, such as it is, is ever changing. Stick around here long enough and you'll see it here even.
Congrats on your success!
Ugh. I had a friend who was on something, maybe Weight Watchers, and she wasn't allowed to eat watermelon. I was like "Seriously? Watermelon is one of the most nutritious and delicious things you can eat." She kept going on about glycemic index garbage (she's not diabetic).0 -
It's because they don't know any better. There is an alarming amount of people that have no idea about eating healthy or just being healthy in general. They are repeating what they've heard or read somewhere and just want to add to the conversation. Just smile and say thank you.0
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They don't know their advice is bad. I think most people mean well, and don't wish harm on others, but if medical "experts" have such conflicting nutritional advice, those of us who didn't attend medical school are pretty much as good as reading a diet crystal ball for nutrition advice.0
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Congrats on your loss. Now, what you need to do is cut soda. Just kidding. 0
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I know the feeling....unsolicited advice! Then they want to watch/monitor what you eat. It's like, "No thank you, I've got this! Worry about yourself!!!" lol Keep up the good work and do what works for YOU!
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Good on you for sticking with it. I usually try to be mannerly and polite to people when they start that (and understand that something that is working for them is fine if it's working) but if they get weird/pushy or start facebook annoying me about it, I'll drop some science on them. This is a good starter article about calories.
http://ajcn.nutrition.org/content/79/5/899S.long
and this is a more readable approach to the same topic.
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/03/why-calories-count-the-cause-of-public-health-nutrition-problems/254887/
I keep them bookmarked in case I need them.0 -
different things work for different people......
It is saying things like this that leads most people down the wrong track. It is at best a half truth.
Different things work for different people usually only in terms of sustainability. If someone needs to avoid certain foods to avoid binging, then I'm all for it. But telling people that this is the only way to lose weight and calories don't matter is laughable.
^^^ couldn't agree more!0 -
I think that you have done fantastically well, so don't listen to what others are telling you! You've obviously had great success with counting the calories so stick with it!!
I've dont the carb cutting, slimming world and weight watchers diets to get little results. I started cutting the calories in August and have lost nearly 40lbs so far so it obviously works.
Keep it up!0 -
I'm not really on here to lose weight, but this happens with many things. The reason is because they deep down want to prove something (know more than you, etc.).0
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What I mean is, people may think they are helping but...different things work for different people0
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What I mean is, people may think they are helping but...different things work for different people
I do not doubt that they think they are being helpful, but the blind leading the blind usually is not a good idea.0
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