Someone read my mind about parenting

rml_16
rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
http://www.viralnova.com/this-young-mother-is-sick-of-how-kids-are-being-raised-heres-her-controversial-blog-post/

"When the TV gets turned off after the allotted time on the weekends, my kids are instructed to go play together in their room. I love and miss them during the work week, but I am not just a mom, I’m also Matt’s wife, I’m also Stephanie, and I also run our household. There are things I have to get done, and my boys understand that. My children – while Matt and I both spend time playing with them – understand that the world doesn’t begin and end with them. This allows them to find ways to entertain themselves, it builds imagination, and it teaches them to get along with each other without constant intervention."
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Replies

  • I do the same thing. I give them time for self analysis, even at this young age.
  • I'm glad that there are others out there that choose to parent as I have. The vast majority of parents choose to enable their children. That doesn't happen in my household.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    There are just sometimes when a woman needs time for themselves. When you work 40 hours a week (or not) and you are a spouse and a mother and you have people pulling you in every direction at once... A woman just needs a break for an hour or two... even if it's to get things done on her to do list.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    There are just sometimes when a woman needs time for themselves. When you work 40 hours a week (or not) and you are a spouse and a mother and you have people pulling you in every direction at once... A woman just needs a break for an hour or two... even if it's to get things done on her to do list.
    Yep.

    And kids NEED to have alone time. They need to use their imaginations and learn to entertain themselves.
  • Tiernan1212
    Tiernan1212 Posts: 797 Member
    Absolutely. About a year ago I realized my kids were having a hard time doing things for themselves (or even trying) without asking for help right away. I've been working on letting them be more independent, and making them solve their own problems before they come to me. My daughter took to it right away, my son is taking a bit longer to figure things out (but that's ok, he's 5 and getting better everyday). They are much more agreeable with each other, and I have more time for me to handle all the others things going on in my life besides my kids.
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    THANK YOU. This helicopter parenting gets out of control. Kids can learn valuable lessons by getting in (minor) trouble or by watching out for each other.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    I thought it was a pretty crap article myself.

    It sets up a false dichotomy: you are either completely child centered to the exclusion of everything else or not and then proceeds to argue against it.

    I surprised she didn't trot out some bland nonsense about the "pussification" of America or something.

    The vast majority of parents are fine at parenting. The vast majority of kids are fine despite different parenting styles. America will not collapse into a nation of limp wristed under achievers because of Generation Y.

    Proceed.
  • Chain_Ring
    Chain_Ring Posts: 753 Member
    I thought it was a pretty crap article myself.

    It sets up a false dichotomy: you are either completely child centered to the exclusion of everything else or not and then proceeds to argue against it.

    I surprised she didn't trot out some bland nonsense about the "pussification" of America or something.

    The vast majority of parents are fine at parenting. The vast majority of kids are fine despite different parenting styles. America will not collapse into a nation of limp wristed under achievers because of Generation Y.

    Proceed.

    Bingo
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I thought it was a pretty crap article myself.

    It sets up a false dichotomy: you are either completely child centered to the exclusion of everything else or not and then proceeds to argue against it.

    I surprised she didn't trot out some bland nonsense about the "pussification" of America or something.

    The vast majority of parents are fine at parenting. The vast majority of kids are fine despite different parenting styles. America will not collapse into a nation of limp wristed under achievers because of Generation Y.

    Proceed.
    Read a couple Mommy Blogs and spend some REAL time in the 'burbs and comment again.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    I thought it was a pretty crap article myself.

    It sets up a false dichotomy: you are either completely child centered to the exclusion of everything else or not and then proceeds to argue against it.

    I surprised she didn't trot out some bland nonsense about the "pussification" of America or something.

    The vast majority of parents are fine at parenting. The vast majority of kids are fine despite different parenting styles. America will not collapse into a nation of limp wristed under achievers because of Generation Y.

    Proceed.
    Read a couple Mommy Blogs and spend some REAL time in the 'burbs and comment again.

    How will that change anything?

    I can't imagine America is all that different to the UK. I can see what most parents and kids are like with my own eyes. The vast majority are absolutely fine and the ones who chronically indulge their children to their detriment are a tiny minority.

    The sky isn't falling.
  • I thought it was a pretty crap article myself.

    It sets up a false dichotomy: you are either completely child centered to the exclusion of everything else or not and then proceeds to argue against it.

    I surprised she didn't trot out some bland nonsense about the "pussification" of America or something.

    The vast majority of parents are fine at parenting. The vast majority of kids are fine despite different parenting styles. America will not collapse into a nation of limp wristed under achievers because of Generation Y.

    Proceed.
    Read a couple Mommy Blogs and spend some REAL time in the 'burbs and comment again.

    How will that change anything?

    I can't imagine America is all that different to the UK. I can see what most parents and kids are like with my own eyes. The vast majority are absolutely fine and the ones who chronically indulge their children to their detriment are a tiny minority.

    The sky isn't falling.

    The sky is falling in my town. I have witnessed very few that actually parent like this. It's either they are enablers or abandoners. The middle ground seems to the minority.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    I was reading an "article" about Sweden and how their permissive parenting is starting to be to the detriment of their society. They are essentially letting the kids rule the land over there and it's creating problems for the teachers and even the parents. I'll see if I can find it.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member

    The sky is falling in my town. I have witnessed very few that actually parent like this. It's either they are enablers or abandoners. The middle ground seems to the minority.

    That's sad if that is the case then.

    Again, we have much the same themes here in the UK and if you are to believe certain commentators nearly every teenager is a knife wielding maniac or younger kids are more likely to kick your skins and take your money than be polite and respectful.

    The reality is that it is largely drivel if you do not have a false expectation of what you will find.

    I feel really sorry for kids growing up these days where the expectation is somehow they are more likely to be a hoodlum than a nice, normal person.

  • The sky is falling in my town. I have witnessed very few that actually parent like this. It's either they are enablers or abandoners. The middle ground seems to the minority.

    That's sad if that is the case then.

    Again, we have much the same themes here in the UK and if you are to believe certain commentators nearly every teenager is a knife wielding maniac or younger kids are more likely to kick your skins and take your money than be polite and respectful.

    The reality is that it is largely drivel if you do not have a false expectation of what you will find.

    I feel really sorry for kids growing up these days where the expectation is somehow they are more likely to be a hoodlum than a nice, normal person.

    It's very sad.
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
    these new age parents know everything I tell you.
    its not 'new age', its old school :-)
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    While I agree in theory, I have to add that you get one chance to be with your children and it goes fast. I spent as much time as I could with my children. They are all out of the house now. I miss them.
  • I wish I was from the burbs. My mom was on me like white on rice. No door knobs..no unsupervised cell phone use, Tv was monitored and I would spend at least half an hour kneeling on rice every week for acting out at school. I would get my asse whooped if I didnt do things on my own, she would give instructions once and never again. Im glad she did though, I am very regimented , organized, hygenic, and overall just have my sh__t together as opposed to the other kids in my neigborhood whose parents would drive them to school on their days off. (That would have actually been nice in the winter)
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,988 Member
    I wish I was from the burbs. My mom was on me like white on rice. No door knobs..no unsupervised cell phone use, Tv was monitored and I would spend at least half an hour kneeling on rice every week for acting out at school. I would get my asse whooped if I didnt do things on my own, she would give instructions once and never again. Im glad she did though, I am very regimented , organized, hygenic, and overall just have my sh__t together as opposed to the other kids in my neigborhood whose parents would drive them to school on their days off. (That would have actually been nice in the winter)
    Lol, if kids here had to kneel on rice, maybe they'd be a bit more disciplined. I only had to do it once (from my grandmother's punishment no less) and NEVER had an issue for the behavior that lead to it since then!!!

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  • Collier78
    Collier78 Posts: 811 Member
    I spend as much time as I can with my kids...but my husband and I make time for us too..It's all about balance. Of course mine are all 6 years apart (13,7, and 6 mos) so we tend to try to not only do family things but individual time for each of them. The one thing that irks me is the push to accept mediocrity. I teach my kids if they want to be the best at something they have to work really hard for it. I am not a fan of this whole "everybody gets a medal because they participated and we don't want anyone to feel left out" mentality that the majority of society seems to have now. It teaches our children that they don't need to work to be good at something, that they will be rewarded just for showing up, and I don't care for it. A little competition is healthy and also teaches kids how to be good at NOT getting what they want, which is what the real world will teach them.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Meh, I'll parent my own kids and let every one else worry about theirs. And yes, I let (make) my kids entertain themselves on weekends otherwise the house would never get cleaned.
  • PennyM140
    PennyM140 Posts: 423 Member
    I let things go that aren't important at the moment so I can spend more time with my son. I don't feel bad for that. He will only be small once and his daycare teachers see more of his waking hours than I do. I knew when I had him I would have to send him to daycare but I never knew how hard it would be.
    My mom and step dad are wonderful babysitters and keep him as often as I will let them so I spend my alone time with hubby when they have him.
    If that makes me a bad parent, so be it. I won't apologize for wanting to interact with my son as much as possible. We read, take walks in the woods, he helps me cook, clean, basically what ever I'm doing he's doing. He doesn't mind dancing around with me while I'm folding laundry. Why should I send him to his room when he can help me fold clothes?
  • I thought it was a pretty crap article myself.

    It sets up a false dichotomy: you are either completely child centered to the exclusion of everything else or not and then proceeds to argue against it.

    I surprised she didn't trot out some bland nonsense about the "pussification" of America or something.

    The vast majority of parents are fine at parenting. The vast majority of kids are fine despite different parenting styles. America will not collapse into a nation of limp wristed under achievers because of Generation Y.

    Proceed.

    Thank you!!!! Common sense. I'm sick of the 1 million articles and opinions that feel the need to remind me every single day that I'm doing it wrong. Most people grow up to be responsible adults regardless of their upbringing. I hate the mommy bashing that goes on in our society when at the end of the day we all know we don't have all the answers and we're all just trying to do our damned best.

    I will add I do live in the burbs, I dont pay attention to how other women are doing it because its none of my business and I dont have time to notice. MY kids use their manners, are compassionate and do well in school....I must be doing something right, I don't feel the need to nitpick my parenting apart, am I spending enough time with them? Not enough? Do I hug them enough? Not enough? the madness needs to stop. Just do your thing and let everyone else do theirs.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Meh, I'll parent my own kids and let every one else worry about theirs. And yes, I let (make) my kids entertain themselves on weekends otherwise the house would never get cleaned.
    you can get your house cleaned?

    Doesn't last more than 20 minutes though....

    MjAxMy1iMTRkMjg2ZmIyNjcxMDFi.png
  • Collier78
    Collier78 Posts: 811 Member


    Doesn't last more than 20 minutes though....

    MjAxMy1iMTRkMjg2ZmIyNjcxMDFi.png
    so true........I put toys up.....and he pours them all out......play dough is the worse thing ever made I do believe now.

    Playdoh is the Devil!!


  • Doesn't last more than 20 minutes though....

    MjAxMy1iMTRkMjg2ZmIyNjcxMDFi.png
    so true........I put toys up.....and he pours them all out......play dough is the worse thing ever made I do believe now.

    Playdoh is the Devil!!

    When I clean up play doh I purposely leave about half of it for the broom to catch and be thrown in the garbage haha
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Meh, I'll parent my own kids and let every one else worry about theirs. And yes, I let (make) my kids entertain themselves on weekends otherwise the house would never get cleaned.
    you can get your house cleaned?

    Maybe if you spent less time on these forums trying to pick a fight, you could clean your house now.
  • Collier78
    Collier78 Posts: 811 Member
    Meh, I'll parent my own kids and let every one else worry about theirs. And yes, I let (make) my kids entertain themselves on weekends otherwise the house would never get cleaned.
    you can get your house cleaned?

    Maybe if you spent less time on these forums trying to pick a fight, you could clean your house now.

    Oh Hot Damn...I'm in to see how this plays out...
  • While I agree in theory, I have to add that you get one chance to be with your children and it goes fast. I spent as much time as I could with my children. They are all out of the house now. I miss them.

    I try to remember this on the hard days, in parenting the days are long but the years are short.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    I'm sick of the 1 million articles and opinions that feel the need to remind me every single day that I'm doing it wrong.

    Or eating wrong, or working out wrong, or using the wrong hair product/toothpaste/tire brand/clothing/etc.

    Losers! And bad parents.