Someone read my mind about parenting
Replies
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Read a couple Mommy Blogs and spend some REAL time in the 'burbs and comment again.I thought it was a pretty crap article myself.
It sets up a false dichotomy: you are either completely child centered to the exclusion of everything else or not and then proceeds to argue against it.
I surprised she didn't trot out some bland nonsense about the "pussification" of America or something.
The vast majority of parents are fine at parenting. The vast majority of kids are fine despite different parenting styles. America will not collapse into a nation of limp wristed under achievers because of Generation Y.
Proceed.
I'm gonna go ahead & agree with this. Yes.0 -
I'm sick of the 1 million articles and opinions that feel the need to remind me every single day that I'm doing it wrong.
Or eating wrong, or working out wrong, or using the wrong hair product/toothpaste/tire brand/clothing/etc.
Losers! And bad parents.
I'm also a horrible wife, terrible cook, and am too short. BOOM!0 -
The sky is falling in my town. I have witnessed very few that actually parent like this. It's either they are enablers or abandoners. The middle ground seems to the minority.
That's sad if that is the case then.
Again, we have much the same themes here in the UK and if you are to believe certain commentators nearly every teenager is a knife wielding maniac or younger kids are more likely to kick your skins and take your money than be polite and respectful.
The reality is that it is largely drivel if you do not have a false expectation of what you will find.
I feel really sorry for kids growing up these days where the expectation is somehow they are more likely to be a hoodlum than a nice, normal person.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding things, but I don't perceive it to be about labeling or considering children to be hoodlums; I don't think advocates here are talking about children "kicking shins" and "taking money". I think we're referring to children who are exceedingly needy and/or bratty by virtue of being catered to and not actively taught autonomy.
As a mother of a infant and toddler, I will tell you I have to gate my LO in her room with some toys while I prepare dinner, otherwise it wouldn't get done. The cleaning happens when they're napping, and if I'm lucky, I get a little *me* time (like now) to hop on the computer or take a bubble bath...0 -
I'm also a horrible wife, terrible cook, and am too short. BOOM!
Psshhhh...we just built the world big so you would *feel* short. It's a conspiracy.0 -
you can get your house cleaned?Meh, I'll parent my own kids and let every one else worry about theirs. And yes, I let (make) my kids entertain themselves on weekends otherwise the house would never get cleaned.
Doesn't last more than 20 minutes though....
No, no, no. I had kids to DO the housework.0 -
I'm also a horrible wife, terrible cook, and am too short. BOOM!
Psshhhh...we just built the world big so you would *feel* short. It's a conspiracy.
*kitten*0 -
you can get your house cleaned?Meh, I'll parent my own kids and let every one else worry about theirs. And yes, I let (make) my kids entertain themselves on weekends otherwise the house would never get cleaned.
Doesn't last more than 20 minutes though....
No, no, no. I had kids to DO the housework.
OH, I can't wait til they're old enough for that! It's hard at this age because the toddler wants to help, but ends up making more of a mess! She's strangely attracted to the pile of dirt when I'm sweeping...0 -
I thought it was a pretty crap article myself.
It sets up a false dichotomy: you are either completely child centered to the exclusion of everything else or not and then proceeds to argue against it.
I surprised she didn't trot out some bland nonsense about the "pussification" of America or something.
The vast majority of parents are fine at parenting. The vast majority of kids are fine despite different parenting styles. America will not collapse into a nation of limp wristed under achievers because of Generation Y.
Proceed.
+10 -
you can get your house cleaned?Meh, I'll parent my own kids and let every one else worry about theirs. And yes, I let (make) my kids entertain themselves on weekends otherwise the house would never get cleaned.
Doesn't last more than 20 minutes though....
No, no, no. I had kids to DO the housework.
OH, I can't wait til they're old enough for that! It's hard at this age because the toddler wants to help, but ends up making more of a mess! She's strangely attracted to the pile of dirt when I'm sweeping...
Mine are just starting to get old enough for this. They get a $1 for every room they clean. But I had to let go of the idea of their toys being organized. Everything goes into whatever cubby they want as opposed to the "Barbie" cubby and the block container, etc.0 -
you can get your house cleaned?Meh, I'll parent my own kids and let every one else worry about theirs. And yes, I let (make) my kids entertain themselves on weekends otherwise the house would never get cleaned.
Maybe if you spent less time on these forums trying to pick a fight, you could clean your house now.
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I thought it was a pretty crap article myself.
It sets up a false dichotomy: you are either completely child centered to the exclusion of everything else or not and then proceeds to argue against it.
I surprised she didn't trot out some bland nonsense about the "pussification" of America or something.
The vast majority of parents are fine at parenting. The vast majority of kids are fine despite different parenting styles. America will not collapse into a nation of limp wristed under achievers because of Generation Y.
Proceed.
Just QFT
While I agree with the writer's sentiment about child rearing, relationship maintenance, and self care I realize that different people have different needs. Do what works for you and your family and don't worry about what other people do. My philosophy is, if I am doing it right, what other people doing won't show up on my radar.0 -
you can get your house cleaned?Meh, I'll parent my own kids and let every one else worry about theirs. And yes, I let (make) my kids entertain themselves on weekends otherwise the house would never get cleaned.
Doesn't last more than 20 minutes though....
No, no, no. I had kids to DO the housework.
OH, I can't wait til they're old enough for that! It's hard at this age because the toddler wants to help, but ends up making more of a mess! She's strangely attracted to the pile of dirt when I'm sweeping...
Mine are just starting to get old enough for this. They get a $1 for every room they clean. But I had to let go of the idea of their toys being organized. Everything goes into whatever cubby they want as opposed to the "Barbie" cubby and the block container, etc.
It is glorious.0 -
Each to their own! I believe alone time is very beneficial but I also am of the mindset that our children are only children for a short time. We will have more time on this earth with them as Adults than children. Cherish the little moments
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you can get your house cleaned?Meh, I'll parent my own kids and let every one else worry about theirs. And yes, I let (make) my kids entertain themselves on weekends otherwise the house would never get cleaned.
Doesn't last more than 20 minutes though....
Cleaning house while my daughter was around used to take longer - because I made her do some chores and I'd have to supervise them while doing my work. As she got older she'd ask for new chores, and I'd have to teach her how to do those.
Now cleaning with my daughter is faster, because I can set her x, y, z chores and then get on with mine. In fact, if she sees me working on anything around the house, she'll stop what she's doing to come ask me what I need her to do. She doesn't always do a perfect job, but it's always passable and I never spend significant time on re-work.
Kids are capable of so much more than we credit them for, if you invest the time to teach them. By the way, she's seven.0 -
Personally I think this author is living in the "Pinterest mom" day and age and is trying to justify her laissez-faire parenting style by making it sound like she has a whole rhyme and reason behind it. I think she comes off with a bit of a superiority complex and i'm not sure why as her children are young and we dont have a "finished product" to tell if she is doing it right or wrong. Sorry, telling a couple young kids who are bored and bickering to go sit in your room because you're probably busy writing your parenting blog and don't want to deal with it is just a typical overwhelmed mom response.
Anyhow, to each her own on how we parent. But I'm certainly not writing any tips of the trade books until my kids are out of the woods.0 -
It's funny I guess because when I grew up, we played together without our parents there 99% of the time. Then I got kids and found out that most parents play with their kids all the time, give them activities etc... I don't. I do things with them obviously, but definitely not all the time. I have twins though so it's probably easier, they play together a lot.0
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It is okay that children are the centre of their parents world. But, they aren't the centre of mine.0
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It's funny I guess because when I grew up, we played together without our parents there 99% of the time. Then I got kids and found out that most parents play with their kids all the time, give them activities etc... I don't. I do things with them obviously, but definitely not all the time. I have twins though so it's probably easier, they play together a lot.
THIS!!0 -
you can get your house cleaned?Meh, I'll parent my own kids and let every one else worry about theirs. And yes, I let (make) my kids entertain themselves on weekends otherwise the house would never get cleaned.
Doesn't last more than 20 minutes though....
No, no, no. I had kids to DO the housework.
OH, I can't wait til they're old enough for that! It's hard at this age because the toddler wants to help, but ends up making more of a mess! She's strangely attracted to the pile of dirt when I'm sweeping...
Mine are just starting to get old enough for this. They get a $1 for every room they clean. But I had to let go of the idea of their toys being organized. Everything goes into whatever cubby they want as opposed to the "Barbie" cubby and the block container, etc.
It is glorious.
Here at the beginning of the year, my daughter (who will be almost 3 by that point) will be starting to get a chore chart. I need a helper.0 -
Personally I think this author is living in the "Pinterest mom" day and age and is trying to justify her laissez-faire parenting style by making it sound like she has a whole rhyme and reason behind it. I think she comes off with a bit of a superiority complex and i'm not sure why as her children are young and we dont have a "finished product" to tell if she is doing it right or wrong. Sorry, telling a couple young kids who are bored and bickering to go sit in your room because you're probably busy writing your parenting blog and don't want to deal with it is just a typical overwhelmed mom response.
Anyhow, to each her own on how we parent. But I'm certainly not writing any tips of the trade books until my kids are out of the woods.
Most of the mommy bloggers come off this way though. Hence why we have the stupid fraking "mommy wars".0 -
I didn't read any of this thread, but I say sell the kids if they're giving you problems!0
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you can get your house cleaned?Meh, I'll parent my own kids and let every one else worry about theirs. And yes, I let (make) my kids entertain themselves on weekends otherwise the house would never get cleaned.
Doesn't last more than 20 minutes though....
Cleaning house while my daughter was around used to take longer - because I made her do some chores and I'd have to supervise them while doing my work. As she got older she'd ask for new chores, and I'd have to teach her how to do those.
Now cleaning with my daughter is faster, because I can set her x, y, z chores and then get on with mine. In fact, if she sees me working on anything around the house, she'll stop what she's doing to come ask me what I need her to do. She doesn't always do a perfect job, but it's always passable and I never spend significant time on re-work.
Kids are capable of so much more than we credit them for, if you invest the time to teach them. By the way, she's seven.
It's like the Flylady says, housework done incorrectly stills blesses the home.0 -
What age can you start making kids do housework? I'd imagine if you can get the 2 year old to not play in the water they'd be pretty good at scrubbing toilets. Can you give them a moist cloth and have them clean the floor?
Cant wait until I have child labor!!0 -
What age can you start making kids do housework? I'd imagine if you can get the 2 year old to not play in the water they'd be pretty good at scrubbing toilets. Can you give them a moist cloth and have them clean the floor?
Cant wait until I have child labor!!
Clorox wipes to clean the walls (these don't really have bleach in them). The 3 year old does it. Picking up toys is no fun but some how cleaning walls is.0 -
There are just sometimes when a woman needs time for themselves. When you work 40 hours a week (or not) and you are a spouse and a mother and you have people pulling you in every direction at once... A woman just needs a break for an hour or two... even if it's to get things done on her to do list.
Like pretty much everything there's a balance. I don't believe the parents who practically ignore their kids are at all doing it right and I don't think parents who spend every minute making sure they're entertained and do everything for them are either.
This is one reason I get crazy pissed off at moms who say, "I don't have time to workout, I'm busy being a mom". BS. Take some time for yourself. REGULARLY. That will make you a much better mom and you absolutely need to teach your kids to do something on their own too.
I want my kids to know they can count on me if they need me, but I'd almost rather they learn how to not need me <
really hard for some moms.0 -
What age can you start making kids do housework? I'd imagine if you can get the 2 year old to not play in the water they'd be pretty good at scrubbing toilets. Can you give them a moist cloth and have them clean the floor?
Cant wait until I have child labor!!
I have these microfiber rags that do a pretty awesome job of cleaning smudges off things, like glass... so I give her a water spray bottle and one of these rags and she will go to town on the windows... by herself.
ETA: To answer your first question, at any point they can start following directions or reach something. Some people suggest 18 months, but that was too young for us. But since I know she can feed the animals and wipe things and pick things up to put them away... I have no qualms about letting her do them to help me. She may not do them perfectly, but who cares?0 -
. But since I know she can feed the animals and wipe things and pick things up to put them away... I have no qualms about letting her do them to help me. She may not do them perfectly, but who cares?
All I can picture is a cow looking at a puny little mound of chicken feed thinking " Are they trying to tell me I'm fat?"0 -
My 16 month old toddler is fascinated with cleaning and always after the dusting brush. We have to hide it from her, but she ends up finding it anyway. We now clean the house when she is napping.
Just yesterday she took the wash cloth and started cleaning the kitchen floor. It was hilarious :laugh:
Kids are kids, every parent has their own way of messing it up. Just enjoy the time with kids, pick what works for you. For me my end goal is, i want my daughter to be independent, loving, caring human being. That's it. I don't care how it happens.0
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