Skinny Boyfriend vs. Chunky Girlfriends

hellokatee

I just restarted MyFitnessPal three days ago with some SERIOUS drive pumping through my body. I set my goal, I have rewards set up for certain losses, and I've worked out more in the past three days than the last six months combined!

Now here comes my problem...

I need more friends like YOU to support me!

My boyfriend is six feet tall and weighs 150 pounds. He eats EVERYTHING. I weigh 40 pounds more than him and of course he says that he will love me at ANY size! Which is amazing and I love him for it... But what kind of motivation is that???

In my hometown I was always surrounded by my girlfriends, who also wanted to lose weight. So support and motivation were never a true problem... Until now! I have recently moved to an all new city, and it's just plain tough! I like the girls I work with, but I just can't see myself swapping stories of weight loss horror or victory with them (I'm a bank teller, they're all tiny)!

If you want support or motivation and are willing to return the favor, I would love to be your friend! You guys are my only hope!!!! ;P

linibee

I'm in somewhat of the same boat. My boyfriend weighs 20 lbs less than me and is an absolute stick because he's so tall. I feel like a marshmallow next to him. And he's told me the same thing, that he loves me the way I am and doesn't think I need to loose weight. Sweet, but so not helpful!!! I'll add you as a friend since I could use some motivation too!!

daniface

haha i have skinny boyfriend also i'm probably atleast 40 pounds heavier than him. he doesn't mind but i often do and i'm really conscious of it!

glfprncs2

This winter, I FINALLY got to the point where I weighed less than my husband. He's 6'4" and struggles to get above 180...I'm 5'9" and struggling to get below 170.

There's certainly power in numbers!!! Here's to weighing less than our significant others! : )

brandygwen

Same thing here! I am very overweight - 230lbs at 5'7 and my bf is 5'9 160! I am working to get to my healthy goal of 160.

antiadipose

UGH! i hear u lol
my boyfriend is a bit over 6 feet, 160 lbs. 6 pack. slim. and can eat pizza all day and still look like that! well he CAN but he actually loves cooking with me and stuff.

my problem: his portions and the frequency of his meals could feed a whole family. and he expects me to eat like him!!!!!!!! and when i dont eat like him he gets all like "ummm ok ur getting too obsessed with this health crap now .. its pissing me off.... " and im like seriously tho.. we JUST ATE LOL!

when i make him food i try to fatten him up HAHAHA. like ill do extra cheese on his eggs and things like that.
ummmm ya it doesnt make a difference AT ALL! he gets seconds, and thirds and im like "what the......"

oh and he can drink all the alcohol he wants .. still FLAT belly!:explode:

hellokatee

UGH. That is exactly my boyfriend. That is how I gained these past 15 pounds! He loves to cook with me, but he can literally eat 5000 calories and still feel like having a midnight snack later! And yes, alcohol too. And fast food. And every time he says he's hungry I get this little niggling MONSTER that makes me say, "Me too, kind of."\

He has now let me take control of the kitchen. I cook a LOT of healthy food and eat a normal portion... And he scarfs down the rest, which incidentally is enough to feed a small army. :P

Christie23

I'm SO with you!! My boyfriend is gorgeous, 6 ft., 150 lbs, former Marine and firefighter. Everytime we go out to dinner, I can almost hear the old nursery rhyme "Jack Spratt could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean"... He eats EVERYTHING... I eat veggies... He eats his Little Debbie snacks, Chef Boyardee, pizza, pie, cake, fried _____ (insert whatever you want)... I eat... veggies. :huh:

hellokatee

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!!

For the amazing adds!

I can't wait to motivate and be motivated!

RominaSullivan

I can relate too! My husband is skinny and can eat all the delicious bad stuff and not gain a pound. I gained all my weight since I met him over 7 years ago because we LOVE TO EAT, it's our way to celebrate anything in life, hehe.

He always told me the same thing: that he'd love me no matter what and that I always looked beautiful. BUT when I got to my highest weight (20lbs over, which can be a lot for me since I'm only 5'1.5) I was soooo unhappy with myself that my self esteem problems where starting to affect our relationship. I complained about every pic we took together because I looked so chubby next to him and every time we would go out, he had to put up with me complaining about the way I looked and how all my clothes where tight.

Since then, he changed his attitude towards this and started pushing me to lose weight. Not because he thought I looked bad but because I was becoming the devil (haha). He came up with an exercise plan for me and gave up fast food so I wouldn't have the temptation. Also, now every time I tell him anything about my weight loss he says "good, keep it up" instead of the "I'll love you at any size" comments I used to get. When he first changed his attitude I felt a little uneasy because I was so used to hearing the lovey dovey things all the time. I guess his comments were subconsciously encouraging my over eating problem and not having that made me open my eyes. It "only" took 7 years for us to understand that the comments were sweet and all, but not very motivating.

Now, I'm 1lb from reaching the weight I was when I met him and 9lbs from a new goal. I finally feel like I can be at the weight I always wanted to be!!

Keep it up guys!!! and add me as a friend for motivation if you'd like!
But most importantly just let your men know about this and perhaps they can help you more than you think!

Jozie236

My boyfriend is really skinny and I am a big girl. It's rough. I look HUGE in photos together. He can eat anything. Entire cartons of Ben and Jerry's are dessert for him. At first, I was eating right alongside him, which helped me gain about 35 lbs since we met last year. Recently, he's started supporting my weight loss efforts by example. We only get to see each other once a week b/c he lives so far away, so I can no longer use him as an excuse. I know he would love me at 300lbs, so why prove it?

LainMac

Weighing less than hubby is sort of any unoffical goal for me. My guess it won't happen until early next year. I'm 5 4 and he is 6 1

RominaSullivan

I know he would love me at 300lbs, so why prove it?

I love that! Great way to put it :-D

mysi019

I wouldnt say my boyfriend is skinny by any means, and i actually weigh less than him.....by 20 pounds. The thing that gets me, and is one of the reasons i starting thinking it was time to get serious is when he told me he wieghed 240 and i was like what? At that time I weighed 230. He is 6'4 and i am only 5'6, almost a foot difference. I knew that it wouldnt be to long before i weighed more than him. It was pure motivation and i have started going in the right direction. And everytime i need some inspiration i may need him to jump on a scale :laugh: Good Luck Everyone!!!

Lisa0711

I know exactly how you feel. My boyfriend is 5'11 and weighs about 155-160. I'm a good 35 pounds heavier than he is. But I used to be about 85-90 pounds heavier! Anyway.. he can eat whatever-whenever and not gain anything. Actually, he's put on about 5 pounds in the 5 years we've been together, but it's solid muscle! lol I love that he's been with me through thick and thin (well not actually thin yet ... but better than I was 50 pounds ago!) and never seemed to care at all. He's a sweetheart.

When we first met I was pretty happy at 170 something... I was wearing 8/10s. I had gained up in the 180s/190s when we first started dating, and within the first year or two I got up to 245. I couldn't believe it when I saw the scale. I thought I had put on maybe 15 pounds or so.. definately not 50 or 60! (carzy, I know) But now I'm close to the weight when we started dating. Now just to get back to my weight when we first met and beyond. I was so close to my goal weight in the 170s I could taste it. I can't wait to get back there!

slc6125

OMG! Girl I am the same way! It's bad enough I am a little taller than my husband, and since we have been married for a year I have put on 30lbs, and look the same way in pictures. Since I'm really not ashamed of my weight, I'm 273 and my husband is 165, and I think most of that is in his head! LOL I just thank God that I'm tall. He is in the army so he can eat what ever he wants and doesn't gain a pound, but me is another story. What goes between my lips, ends up on my hips! LOL Since he just got deployed August 9, my plan is to at least be down to 230, but my goal is 180. I know I can do it because he was gone to training for 3 weeks, and in those three weeks I lost 10 lbs, but it came back because he love home cook meals. I have already laid the law down to him that if I loss the weight I want his support or I will stop all the home cook meals, (LOL) and I really mean it because I really loved how the old me us to look. Wish you the best in you weight loss goals!

skydiveskier

90% of this thread is about Insulin and Metabolism. Eating less doesn't mean anything. Someone who has a fast metabolism (mainly from exercising and diet control) can eat 5k calories and have 4% body fat. Michael Phelps eats 7k calories and is a rail. On the other hand, someone who eats 1200 calories of garbage 3 times a day can have 25%+ body fat. Starve yourself and watch yourself grow...horizontally.

It's all about Insulin control and speeding up your Metabolism.

hellokatee

This thread is about motivation and support from your significant other, no matter their size or their eating habits. It is also about gaining support from people who are alike, people who need motivation from someone who is going through similar experiences. Although you may be correct, that is not the purpose of this thread. Thank you for your comment, it is nice to know the logistics... But myself and many other chunky girls out there who have that forever skinny boyfriend are just banding together for support.

Thanks!

hellokatee

P.S. My boyfriend sits on his butt all day and smokes cigarettes. His 5K calories are not being burned off by diet control OR exercise, I can guarantee you that. And please try not to be so harsh... Coming into a motivational thread and slamming everyone about how they are starving themselves just isn't the kind of support I am looking for.

skydiveskier

P.S. My boyfriend sits on his butt all day and smokes cigarettes. His 5K calories are not being burned off by diet control OR exercise, I can guarantee you that. And please try not to be so harsh... Coming into a motivational thread and slamming everyone about how they are starving themselves just isn't the kind of support I am looking for.

Not trying to 'slam' anyone. My appologies if you took it that way.

Your boyfriend has a different genetic makeup than you do...obviously. Not that this is a bad thing, it's just something you have to cope with and LEARN how to deal with. My post was strictly for educational purposes. Education is the single greatest asset you will have in any battle...especially against one's weight. Learning about Insulin and Metabolism will grant you wisdom in your journey towards a HEALTHIER you.

Cheers!

luvstolose

I am with ya there. My husband weighs at 100 pounds less than I do. He can eat anything he wants in fact he is trying to gain weight but the weight dosen't come off. Anytime I eat anything it seems to add antother pound to my body. I do not want to be bigger than my husband anymore I am taking control!

rebel14

This may not be too helpful of an insight, but personally I think this a wonderful dynamic.
His unwavering love and devotion to the real "you" , your inner and outer beauty is motivation enough.
Your personal quest for the body you desire will be gained in due time, but rest assure gauging yourself with other female body types is not fair to yourself. Your unique and special the way you are and thats why he's in love with you. Believe me your health and happiness is very important to him, so dont mistake his devotion as nonchalance. * Remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder !!!! The MFP family is behind you 150 % !!!! Find your groove and work it !!!!

Shaylala

Totally in the same boat! My husband is a stick and so is our son- I am the odd one out- chubby and dark compared to their lean blondness. 30 more pounds to go before I can even compare!

godblessourhome

sorry, lady! you are all on your own with the boyfriend thingie. i got myself a humdinger of a hunky hubby, though.

cutmd

UGH! i hear u lol
my boyfriend is a bit over 6 feet, 160 lbs. 6 pack. slim. and can eat pizza all day and still look like that! well he CAN but he actually loves cooking with me and stuff.

my problem: his portions and the frequency of his meals could feed a whole family. and he expects me to eat like him!!!!!!!! and when i dont eat like him he gets all like "ummm ok ur getting too obsessed with this health crap now .. its pissing me off.... " and im like seriously tho.. we JUST ATE LOL!

when i make him food i try to fatten him up HAHAHA. like ill do extra cheese on his eggs and things like that.
ummmm ya it doesnt make a difference AT ALL! he gets seconds, and thirds and im like "what the......"

oh and he can drink all the alcohol he wants .. still FLAT belly!:explode:

LOL, we have a lot in common. My hubby is the same way - gets upset and says I'm too obsessed if I don't eat a lot. When we first moved in together I reached my highest weight ever! But as time passes he realizes (and so do I) that I burn probably half as many calories as him, so I need to use a smaller plate.

sexygenius

where are you girl finding all these guys!!!!??!!! you lucky ducks!

OutwardSix

It's almost like we'd prefer our friends to be a little MORE shallow at times!

Instead of, "Oh, we love you however you look and whatever you weigh" they'd be more like "...Should you be eating that? Tut tut."

Having read the posts on this thread though, the fact that so many are in relationships/friends with the former over the latter restores some of my faith in humanity :happy:

lsiberian

I think a lot of guys won't a girl that isn't slim and good looking because it makes them feel safe. Make sure you reassure your man as you loose weight. Most guys are very concerned about being stronger and more fit than their ladies. It makes us feel better about ourselves. Make sure to stroke his ego by telling him how much you love his body.

hellokatee

I think a lot of guys won't a girl that isn't slim and good looking because it makes them feel safe. Make sure you reassure your man as you loose weight. Most guys are very concerned about being stronger and more fit than their ladies. It makes us feel better about ourselves. Make sure to stroke his ego by telling him how much you love his body.

I may not be slim, but I'm definitely good looking! So no worries about being the safe girl, right ladies?? You are all beautiful!

Christie23

Yeah, with flaming red hair and a personality to match... I am hardly his "safe girl". :smokin:

hellokatee

Yeah, with flaming red hair and a personality to match... I am hardly his "safe girl". :smokin:

That's what I like to hear! I don't believe that any of our significant others are with us because we are safe and not good looking. That was a slightly inappropriate response to this thread, but what can you do?

Here's to not being the "safe girl"!!!!