Skinny Boyfriend vs. Chunky Girlfriends
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Oof! My boyfriend of 6 years is 5'4" and 115 pounds soaking wet... I win!
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Oof! My boyfriend of 6 years is 5'4" and 115 pounds soaking wet... I win!
OOOH, that's rough! I think you do win!!
But we all love our skinny boyfriends, and being bigger than them must not bother us too much or we wouldn't be with them!
I guess in a way I feel the same way he does... It doesn't matter what size he is, I love him! If he suddenly weighed more than me (which is never going to happen unless I lose weight. He is incapable of gaining more than ten pounds even on high protein diets and weight lifting regimens) it would make no difference!0 -
Hey, coming from a guys perspective, I can honestly tell you it's no big deal to us. When it's just the guys, I've never heard anybody say, "I wish my girl would lose some weight". A guy normally won't over examine what we consider smaller issues, that our women may look at as bigger issues. Myself or any other guy I know, would be more apt to take this subject at face value and think, hey, he must care about her or he wouldn't be with her, instead of "Joe, your girls bigger than you man, whassup?" That would be very rude. Give your men props for not being shallow and for caring about you for who you are.
My wife doesn't get into the "exercise thing" like I do. Its just not her thing. She carries a little extra but, really, when I tell her I love her no matter what, I don't mean I love her no matter how much weight she gains, lol. Sometimes you ladies read things into what we say, that we do not mean. You're a lot more complex than we are, so take what we say a little more positive and realize we're happy with you, no matter what and all we really want is for you to be happy too.
I know some very attractive women who are a little taller, a little heavier than their mates but it's their attitudes, confidence and personality that makes them so attractive, not their dress size. If one is bummed out with the way they look and lacks confidence, people spot it like the plague. Be happy with who you are, that's sexy.
If you think you should drop 20lbs, do it for you, not what you think people think about you. If any man left his woman because she put on a few pounds, I'd have no respect for that guy at all.0 -
Yup. I finally weigh less than my husband for the first time since I've known him (5 years). He's about 8 inches taller than me. :huh: At one point I weighed a good 70 pounds more than him, even though he had gained about 30 pounds since we met. Now he weighs between 195 and 200 and I weigh 192. He's still 8 inches taller than me... but I can wear his pants and his shirts are too big for me. Hooray!0
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I used to be in the same boat. My husabnd is 6'4 and when I met him was 120lbs (had medical issues due to low weight, but couldn't gain a pound) and I was 170 (my lowest adult weight and the result of a recent loss of about 30 pounds). I was super supportive of his need to gain the weight and ate right along with him until Jan of 2007 when we were both at our heaviest (290 each).
Just be careful of being too supportive. You get into bad habits and 10 years later both regret the decisions you made. We're both supportive of each other now (but he still gets to eat more than I do, you know, being a man and more than 6 inches taller than me. Even though I now weigh less than him, I look significantly more obese than he does. We went to a doctor a month ago and she was shocked that he was classified as obese...GRRRRRR
The one thing I know is the supportive doesn't mean eating the same way. It's as unhealthy for someone who should be maintaining to eat the same way as someone losing as it is for someone losing to eat the same way to maintain. I make sure to pack a little something extra with his lunch, give him a slightly larger portion than me. AND I have to be okay with doing it....even if it is frustrating....life ain't fair.0 -
Hey, coming from a guys perspective, I can honestly tell you it's no big deal to us. When it's just the guys, I've never heard anybody say, "I wish my girl would lose some weight". A guy normally won't over examine what we consider smaller issues, that our women may look at as bigger issues. Myself or any other guy I know, would be more apt to take this subject at face value and think, hey, he must care about her or he wouldn't be with her, instead of "Joe, your girls bigger than you man, whassup?" That would be very rude. Give your men props for not being shallow and for caring about you for who you are.
My wife doesn't get into the "exercise thing" like I do. Its just not her thing. She carries a little extra but, really, when I tell her I love her no matter what, I don't mean I love her no matter how much weight she gains, lol. Sometimes you ladies read things into what we say, that we do not mean. You're a lot more complex than we are, so take what we say a little more positive and realize we're happy with you, no matter what and all we really want is for you to be happy too.
I know some very attractive women who are a little taller, a little heavier than their mates but it's their attitudes, confidence and personality that makes them so attractive, not their dress size. If one is bummed out with the way they look and lacks confidence, people spot it like the plague. Be happy with who you are, that's sexy.
If you think you should drop 20lbs, do it for you, not what you think people think about you. If any man left his woman because she put on a few pounds, I'd have no respect for that guy at all.
Thank you for that :]0 -
I think a lot of guys want a girl that isn't slim and good looking because it makes them feel safe.
i very much doubt this is the reason my boyfriend is dating me. ouch0 -
I hear you! My husband is actually only about 15 lbs lighter than me but looks about 30 lbs lighter! How is that the case with men! He is part of my inspiration because while I know he loves me no mater what size I am, and he has seen me at many different ones!
I also get you about the weight talk! Only the special close girlfriends get to divulge in muffin top talk! Even harder when some of the girls are thin.
I loved your outline that with every 5 lbs you get a reward! Stealing that!0 -
I think a lot of guys want a girl that isn't slim and good looking because it makes them feel safe.
i very much doubt this is the reason my boyfriend is dating me. ouch
I agree. That was just a mean thing to say!0 -
loved your outline that with every 5 lbs you get a reward! Stealing that!
Hey, every pound is an accomplishment, right? 0 -
I know that feeling! My now hubby weighed MAYBE 100(grade school where we met) and 120-130soaking wet throughout highschool and I was 130 (GS) and 180ish around senior year. He also said the same, which meant I could eat whatever and he'd love me, bad way of thinking, thus the reason I'm here... I've finally decided to change my life and most of my 'girl'friends are only online, I have 2, maybe 3 girls in real life I can call friends, so finding this website was extremely helpful for me. I have met some wonderful friends on here. So much support and motivation. Sending a friend request your way
Oh, and now my hubby weighs about 230, and I can officially say I FINALLY weigh less than him
ya Nick. 0 -
This sounds do simiar, my husband is 6'1 is very skinny, he can afford to put on some pound because he is skinny every where.
He can eat all the time, any amount of calories and not gain weight. I think it took him 5 years to gain 20 ibs and he lost it because he went to get tested for allergies and they changed his diet and lost it within a week. In my house including my kids, are skinny there is no weight issue, I am the only one gains weight if i dont watch it. oh yeah and he can sleep all day and do nothing!!!!
No exercise. still lose weight.
We dont talk about weight loss because he doesnt get it.0 -
Hey, coming from a guys perspective, I can honestly tell you it's no big deal to us. When it's just the guys, I've never heard anybody say, "I wish my girl would lose some weight". A guy normally won't over examine what we consider smaller issues, that our women may look at as bigger issues. Myself or any other guy I know, would be more apt to take this subject at face value and think, hey, he must care about her or he wouldn't be with her, instead of "Joe, your girls bigger than you man, whassup?" That would be very rude. Give your men props for not being shallow and for caring about you for who you are.
My wife doesn't get into the "exercise thing" like I do. Its just not her thing. She carries a little extra but, really, when I tell her I love her no matter what, I don't mean I love her no matter how much weight she gains, lol. Sometimes you ladies read things into what we say, that we do not mean. You're a lot more complex than we are, so take what we say a little more positive and realize we're happy with you, no matter what and all we really want is for you to be happy too.
I know some very attractive women who are a little taller, a little heavier than their mates but it's their attitudes, confidence and personality that makes them so attractive, not their dress size. If one is bummed out with the way they look and lacks confidence, people spot it like the plague. Be happy with who you are, that's sexy.
If you think you should drop 20lbs, do it for you, not what you think people think about you. If any man left his woman because she put on a few pounds, I'd have no respect for that guy at all.
I, too, have to thank you for that, sir. Very well said.0 -
Def my problem.. My husband is a Marine.. eats everything in sight.. has the biggest sweet tooth around.... He had triple the amount i did with both pregnancies and he has a amazing body....
I look at food and gain:( I have about 30lbs over him0 -
P.S. My boyfriend sits on his butt all day and smokes cigarettes. His 5K calories are not being burned off by diet control OR exercise, I can guarantee you that. And please try not to be so harsh... Coming into a motivational thread and slamming everyone about how they are starving themselves just isn't the kind of support I am looking for.
While my husband isn't on his butt all day (he's a professional caddie, so he does get some walking miles in every day), he smokes and eats like total garbage! I seriously believe he survives on Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls, Coca Cola, McDonald's and Burger King, and he'll eat a huge pasta type meal (that I cook for him) at night. The amount of sugar he eats is absolutely ridiculous (I made him do a MFP entry one day and he was over on sugar by 300+ grams!), but he's skinny as a rail. I have no idea how his body doesn't just crash and burn on him the way he fuels it.0 -
Thank you for sharing my pain. My husband is 46 years old, 6', 140 lbs. All the things he thinks are fun are exercise (plays soccer, hockey, and golf, and bike commutes to work every day) so his metabolism is ridiculous and he eats like a machine. He says if I worked out as much as he does I could eat like he does. (I am a marathon runner.) Whether or not his claim is true, it's still annoying. We've both been up and down over our 18 years together, but I am jealous that he looks better than ever and I cannot seem to get it together. I really want to figure it out and join him at a healthy and good-looking weight. I wish you ALL well (and join you in thanking that lovely man who said nice things about how weight doesn't make a woman unattractive).0
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Yeah, with flaming red hair and a personality to match... I am hardly his "safe girl". :smokin:
hahahah! i love this, you tell them!0 -
I have the same problem! My husband is actually pretty small. 5'11 weighing about 140lbs. He loves to workout, and lift weights. He however is trying to gain weight while im trying to lose weight, so its really not working, especially when he always wants to eat! And when i say eat, he can eat a whole pizza by himself, and 30 minutes later he's looking for something else to eat. AND HE NEVER GAINS ANYTHING! which frustrates him, but it makes me jealous! My goal is to weigh less than him one day. I might never be smaller than him because well.. i have pretty big hips and he has like a 29in waist with no butt, but i can at least say that i weigh less than him soon!0
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My SO is a former skinny dude who could eat anything and not gain any weight. He's put on a fair amount of weight in his late 20s and now has to watch what he eats. When I first started dating him, he was way more lax about what he ate and kept around the house. Now, eh.... not so much.
I think eventually some of the skinny dudes' habits may very well catch up with them, unfortunately!0 -
It makes me feel better to know I am not hte only one. I love my BF dearly and I KNOW he loves me as I am (I prolly got to 250 since I met him) and he doesnt care. He makes sure to tell me I am beautiful to him and I believe it. He is about 190 and 5'10"ish. He cant eat whatever he wants though. He put on about 10 pounds when we both happy in the dating. Since I have changed our lives (he is following along for my sake mostly) he lost 10, and I have lost 30.
I am glad I met him heavy though, because I do know that while he loves how I look, he is really attracted to ME as a whole person. He has been so super supportive of this whole weight loss process and so proud of my accomplishments.
Its like someone else said, I am doing this for ME! (its just going to be a nice added bonus when I weigh less than him and he can say he has a skinny GF).0 -
My BF is ex-football player with lifter's build and can lose weight in 3-4 weeks with his job (it's physical and outside). He's always been so sweet, playing up my looks, my eyes, and my charm. When I do work out, I get home to all sorts of kudos and encouragement. Doesn't help that HIS dad is an amazing chef! We have to stop going over there!0
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I liked to begin by praising all of you ladies for being so strong. Not just for striving towards your goals but for trying maintain strength in modern society. Merely existing in a misogynistic world is tough enough for most women. This pressure is amplified by our culture which places far too much emphasis on unreasonable body images. Please don't buy into these lies. You are all beautiful human beings.
On behalf of men, I am sorry it has come to this. It hurts just think about how unfair this is to women.
If a man would only show interest after you weighed less, they don't even deserve your time of day. Please cherish the men you are with now. They truly do love you for both your inner and outer beauty.
None of this matters though if you don't love yourselves completely. Always do what makes you truly happy, but try not to waste too time dwelling on becoming the "ideal" woman. In the eyes of your significant other, you are already there.
Just remember, an ounce of confidence can outweigh any number of pounds.0 -
I can definitely relate. My boyfriend is actually at my goal weight, 5'10, and about 12% body fat. We must look very strange together.0
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I'm glad I found this post! My husband is taller than me and skinny! I out weight him by about 40lbs Im about 5'4 and hes about 6ft....
.. He always has been slim but when we first started to date I was about 15lbs less than him.
Weighing less than him is a huge goal of mine! Its hard when he can eat he whatever he wants and struggles to gain an ounce.
I just look at food and it sticks :S go figure! lol0 -
Glad to know I'm not the only one out there with this issue.... A great man who loves me to death, who just happens to under-weigh.... ha ha. My boyfriend is a huge inspiration to me- I don't think I would be as invested in getting into better shape if I didn't have an "after" inspiration walking along with me eveywhere I go. He loves me, and is constantly reminding me how much he loves my curves- but I'm still insecure that my booty is twice as wide as his! :ohwell: We have TOTALLY opposite body types... but opposites attract! I'm just happy to have a forum here where I can relate to so many strangers who have the same "problem" as me! Thanks everybody for sharing! Add me as a friend if you want some support! xo0
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Haha, my boyfriend is 6'0" and 130 pounds, last he weighed himself. I think my efforts of making him eat more have upped to closer to 140, but that's still at least 10 pounds less than me. I mentioned MFP and food journaling to him for the first time recently, as I'd been on a good long break from it when we started dating. His reaction, as follows:
"Why do you keep a food journal?"
"Because if I don't keep track I eat everything in sight, hungry or not."
"So what?"
"So then I get obese."
"...So what?"
Yup, I like this one.0 -
i have this too, my boyfriend eats alot of pushes food on me alot when hes trying to "treat" me xxx0
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"Why do you keep a food journal?"
"Because if I don't keep track I eat everything in sight, hungry or not."
"So what?"
"So then I get obese."
"...So what?"
Yup, I like this one.
did you just talk to my husband?
Have a loving husband who's usually been lighter than me (though now we're similar, muhah.. but only cause he's been sick for a while but now he's back to work so he'll probably shed the extra pounds easy *grmbl*).
Also am in a new city with no friends to talk about my weight loss (do have a friend I work out with but she's tiny so..)
So feel free to add me 0 -
I have the same issue. My husband isn't exactly stick figure, but he tells me all the time how great I look already and that I shouldn't be losing any weight. Some may say that I should do as he says because I have no one to impress but him... however I just think of my health and my happiness - and that is what motivates me. I know he loves me now, but I think he'll love me more just a bit slimmer... and healthier. 0
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I hear you... I am 6inches shorter than my fiance but weigh pretty much the same as him! He is skinny! Not to mention he eats whatever the heck he wants while I have to sit here and count calories and worry about everythign I put in my mouth...soooo annoying. However, now he is working out with me which is helping a bit...but still when it comes to the foods I feel like we have to eat seperatelly all the time because it is hard to have will power when he is stuffing his face with all these delicious foods and I am stuck eating my carrots...lol Okay, an exaggeration...healthy foods are not always as boring as carrots but sometimes it feels like that when my fiance is eating fries and gravy or a burger or a bowl of ice cream...haha0
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