Body Dysmorphia?
Replies
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Just found a great article in "O" magazine on this subject (including some interesting solutions) if anyone's interested:
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Can-a-Negative-Body-Image-Make-You-Gain-Weight/1
Couple things I like:
-Have family members cut images out of women who are approximately your size out of magazines and show you what they found.
-Get a huge piece of butcher paper, lie down on it, and have someone else trace the outline of your body - step away from it and look at how small you are
-Switch clothes with a friend who is the same size as you and put on her clothes. Realize that you are actually that size.
-Stand in front of a partner, close your eyes, and put your hands about where you *feel* your waist is. Open your eyes and look at where your hands are. Have your partner slowly move your hands onto your waist, where they actually are.
-Go out somewhere crowded, like a public park or airport, with a partner and both of you find women you think are a similar size to you. Pay attention to whom your partner picks and absorb the image of those women you see.
-Put lotion on each night, slowly tracing your entire body, to get the "feel" for it's new boundary lines
I also read somewhere that one gal surrounded herself with healthy, positive people who were into fitness in various ways and let them "rub off" on her. I like that.
Another one talked about standing in front of the mirror, looking in her own eyes, and saying, "I love you and I accept you no matter what" or something to that effect. Acceptance of oneself is critical.
Exercise is also critical as it combats the inevitable depression we feel over this issue, which can get pretty bad if we let it go on too long.0 -
Couple things I like:
-Switch clothes with a friend who is the same size as you and put on her clothes. Realize that you are actually that size.
-Put lotion on each night, slowly tracing your entire body, to get the "feel" for it's new boundary lines
Exercise is also critical as it combats the inevitable depression we feel over this issue, which can get pretty bad if we let it go on too long.
The clothes/friend comparison thing I did recently. The friend who I have always wanted to emulate is now possibly bigger than me... And my sister in law, who I've always seen as 'little' is now too big for some of my castoff clothes. It blows your mind.
The lotion thing I do too. I often find myself astounded to encounter bones it's as if I forgot I had them.
Exercise - yup. It helps you feel in control
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When I'm heavy, I see myself as a size 8. When i'm a size 8, I see myself as size 18. Only pics give me reality checks.0
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Just found a great article in "O" magazine on this subject (including some interesting solutions) if anyone's interested:
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Can-a-Negative-Body-Image-Make-You-Gain-Weight/1
Couple things I like:
-Have family members cut images out of women who are approximately your size out of magazines and show you what they found.
-Get a huge piece of butcher paper, lie down on it, and have someone else trace the outline of your body - step away from it and look at how small you are
-Switch clothes with a friend who is the same size as you and put on her clothes. Realize that you are actually that size.
-Stand in front of a partner, close your eyes, and put your hands about where you *feel* your waist is. Open your eyes and look at where your hands are. Have your partner slowly move your hands onto your waist, where they actually are.
-Go out somewhere crowded, like a public park or airport, with a partner and both of you find women you think are a similar size to you. Pay attention to whom your partner picks and absorb the image of those women you see.
-Put lotion on each night, slowly tracing your entire body, to get the "feel" for it's new boundary lines
I also read somewhere that one gal surrounded herself with healthy, positive people who were into fitness in various ways and let them "rub off" on her. I like that.
Another one talked about standing in front of the mirror, looking in her own eyes, and saying, "I love you and I accept you no matter what" or something to that effect. Acceptance of oneself is critical.
Exercise is also critical as it combats the inevitable depression we feel over this issue, which can get pretty bad if we let it go on too long.
Some great advice in both of your posts!
I think this is a real struggle for a lot of people - the distorted view we have of ourselves can really play on our minds.
One idea that was given to me was to get a before and after photo of yourself and put someone else's head on it so you are seeing someone else. Then think about how you think that 'person' looks and how far they have come. That way you take yourself out of the picture.
The other big thing we all have to do is learn to love ourselves regardless of our perceived flaws. None of us is ever going to be perfect but we CAN teach ourselves to be satisfied with the way we look and more importantly, the way we act. Honestly, if we treated friends the way we treat ourselves sometimes, we would have no friends
Best of luck learning to love the new you.
Donna0 -
I have suggested this in a similar thread in the far past.
1 - look at pictures
2 - spend A LOT of time in the mirror. Look at yourself very carefully.
This one, I find to be most effective for me.
3 - Just before falling a sleep, while i lay in bed with the lights out I feel my stomach for a while, also my legs. It helps change my mental perceptive and helps me to realize that my gut is diminishing, my legs are firmer, etc.0 -
I think it would be beneficial for you to seek therapy.0
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have you thought about doing some weight lifting? I plan to gain a lot of muscle once I'm done losing weight because this will take my focus off food and onto fitness and to some degree, nutrition in a different way. Sometimes having a new focus can help. And building muscle will mean you have to eat more and not worry about it because it's necessary to eat excess calories in order to build muscle. And working out always boosts my self esteem.0
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I completely agree with others who have suggested that it might take some time to get used to. I've heard that it takes about half the time that it took to lose the weight to maintain it easily.
I am more or less at my desired weight, not really weighing myself any more, but continuing to work on my physique. But MOST days, I get out my new smaller clothes and think "am I going to fit into this today?"... not sure why I wouldn't... It's not like I'm going to put on 30kg overnight, but I'm still not used to my smaller size. I'll catch my reflection in the mirror and get a shock. Some days I look at myself in the mirror and think - "wow, I look great" other days I'll think I look fat. I went clothes shopping with a friend on the weekend and she kept throwing size 8 and "small" sizes at me and I was laughing saying "I'm not going to fit in that" but I did...
I think it's going to take some time to get used to the idea, and for the head to catch up with the body.0 -
I may look like I lost 42 pounds to others, but I do not FEEL like I lost 42 pounds. I look in the mirror and like the way my body looks, but I can't seem to stop feeling like I am still overweight and that I need to lose more.
Yep, sign me up for the group therapy session.
I figure it's a mental scar that will take some time to heel....I also believe that "we are known by the friends we keep"...if we want to stay healthy and fit, it's imperative that we associate with healthy and fit people.0 -
Just found a great article in "O" magazine on this subject (including some interesting solutions) if anyone's interested:
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Can-a-Negative-Body-Image-Make-You-Gain-Weight/1
Couple things I like:
-Have family members cut images out of women who are approximately your size out of magazines and show you what they found.
-Get a huge piece of butcher paper, lie down on it, and have someone else trace the outline of your body - step away from it and look at how small you are
-Switch clothes with a friend who is the same size as you and put on her clothes. Realize that you are actually that size.
-Stand in front of a partner, close your eyes, and put your hands about where you *feel* your waist is. Open your eyes and look at where your hands are. Have your partner slowly move your hands onto your waist, where they actually are.
-Go out somewhere crowded, like a public park or airport, with a partner and both of you find women you think are a similar size to you. Pay attention to whom your partner picks and absorb the image of those women you see.
-Put lotion on each night, slowly tracing your entire body, to get the "feel" for it's new boundary lines
I also read somewhere that one gal surrounded herself with healthy, positive people who were into fitness in various ways and let them "rub off" on her. I like that.
Another one talked about standing in front of the mirror, looking in her own eyes, and saying, "I love you and I accept you no matter what" or something to that effect. Acceptance of oneself is critical.
Exercise is also critical as it combats the inevitable depression we feel over this issue, which can get pretty bad if we let it go on too long.
I just made a newsfeed about this, im going through the same thing, still in denial about my smaller size and wearing clown pants, I love this post and wanna try this!0 -
Ha! I have the same issue. Was small before pregnancy and got huge after. My mental image is still of me skinny. I finally started to realize my new image and then I gained more weight. Thankfully, I've lost that and am back to my heavy accepted weight. I'm sort of uncertain how I'll feel when I'm closer to my prepregnancy weight. I hope it will be easier to accept since my mind thought I was that weight for so much longer than I was.0
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This is one of the greatest websites for body dysmorphia:
http://www.mybodygallery.com/
Input your info and view others who are your same size. You'll see youself in a whole new light!0 -
I rely on pictures more than the mirror when I'm feeling particularly down. For some reason I'm able to be more objective looking at photographs. I can see myself how others see me, and it really does help.
^ I do this also. It is very helpful.
I do too. For some reason the person I see in the mirror or "feel like" does not correlate to how I look in photos or video. Hugs!0 -
I am not a professional in the field, but I thought it would be good to publish what Wikipedia reports to be the official criteria for body dysmorphic disorder:
According to the DSM IV to be diagnosed with BDD a person must fulfill the following criteria:
"Preoccupation with an imagined or slight defect in appearance. If a slight physical anomaly is present, the person's concern is markedly excessive."
"The preoccupation causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning."
"The preoccupation is not better accounted for by another mental disorder (e.g., dissatisfaction with body shape and size in Anorexia Nervosa)."[34]
In most cases, BDD is under-diagnosed. In a study of 17 patients with BDD, BDD was noted in only five patient charts, and none of the patients received an official diagnosis of BDD.[35] This under-diagnosis is due to the disorder only recently being included in DSM IV; therefore, clinician knowledge of the disorder, particularly among general practitioners, is not widespread.[36]
Also, BDD is often associated with shame and secrecy; therefore, patients often fail to reveal their appearance concerns for fear of appearing vain or superficial.[36]
BDD is also often misdiagnosed because its symptoms can mimic that of major depressive disorder or social phobia.[37] and so the cause of the individual's problems remain unresolved.
Many individuals with BDD also do not possess knowledge or insight into the disorder and so regard their problem as one of a physical rather than psychological nature; therefore, individuals suffering from BDD may seek cosmetic treatment rather than mental health treatment.[citation needed]0 -
I think BD is one way to describe the inability to see our body as it isbut I wanted to clarify that this is different from clinical body dysmorphia or body dysmorphic disorder. Be glad you don't have that.
http://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/related-illnesses/other-related-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder-bdd
As others have said, I think we all get used to seeing and thinking about ourselves a certain way and it's normal, even expected, for the brain to take a while to catch up with the body's changes. I also think that there are a lot of other areas in our lives where we probably don't see ourselves clearly besides weight, including our strengths, weaknesses, personality, etc. We just don't see ourselves objectively, so why should body image be any different?
Maybe the important thing is just recognizing it is happening so we don't believe the stories our brain tells us. As someone else said, how you feel physically is probably the best guide, although I know we all want to feel good about ourselves. I like to think the brain will catch up in time and show us how awesome we actually are.
:drinker:
Eta: OP maybe a shift in goals can help you shift those feelings? Strength or endurance mini goals? Trying things you've never done before outside the comfort zone fitness wise.0 -
I grew up smaller and petite. When I got heavier, I didn't realize how heavy I was until I saw a picture. Now I've lost weight and I still think of me as heavier. I didn't take any pre pictures, and didn't take pictures along the way as I lost weight. My advice of those starting out--take pictures of your journey so you can see your progress.0
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I have had the same issue since I lost 100 pounds a year ago. It has taken me about a year to accept that I am no longer the fat girl. Friends and family call me skinny and I don't think I will ever see myself is that but I refer to it as being fit. It takes time after making a drastic change. You are not alone and it is nice to know I am not either. I have learned that sometimes eating more of good calories does more good then under eating. I had a hard time eating more than 1200 calories after hitting my goal and now eat 1700 per my nutritionist an am a lot happier. Best of luck and congrats on the weight loss!0
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This is one of the greatest websites for body dysmorphia:
http://www.mybodygallery.com/
Input your info and view others who are your same size. You'll see youself in a whole new light!
hey that's really cool!0 -
I lost 55 lbs this year and have been maintaining since July - I lost the weight quickly, relatively, and I think the hardest thing about maintenance, for me, is that it's so repetitively BORING. When I was losing, it was exciting, it was a challenge, it was fun. My changing body was exciting and new, like a new lover.
And now I don't see those exciting, wonderful changes anymore. I just see all my imperfections - the loose skin, the remaining fat belly, the jiggly arms. So I think what you are experiencing is very real and not all in your head - because it happens to a LOT, if not most, if not all of us.
Looking at old photos of myself helps. Catching my reflection out of the corner of my eye, looking at my shadow cast in the sunlight, and taking about a zillion selfies really helps. Playing with my clavicle - hey I have a bone there! - helps. Exercise, eating well, getting enough water, and getting enough sleep all help.
When I go shopping, I still gravitate to the size 16s, even though I'm in an 8. I have to literally force myself to pick out smaller sizes. It's weird.0 -
I am nowhere near at your weightloss yet and still have some way to go on my journey, however I am around 200lbs, but when I see pictures of people on here at 300lbs thats where I identify (even though I have never been 300lbs). I started around 230lbs and thats where my head seems to be stuck even though I have lost that weight and down 2-3 clothes sizes, I want to get my head on the smae page as my body before goal so I dont feel like this at that point - interested to hear responses too. Good luck on your journey OP.0
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Something that helps massively with "fixing" how we see ourselves is to moisturise your whole body every day. Not only will your skin benefit from the moisturiser but the combination of looking at and touching your body helps your brain remap your body size. An earlier post about it being similar to phantom limb is spot on. Your brain hasnt processed the change yet.0
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This may seem like it should be in the "general weight loss and diet help" board, but because my goal is to maintain my current weight, I'm posting it here.
I'm just wondering if anyone else seems to have this sort of "body dysmorphia" feeling after losing weight. I am 5'8", lost 42 pounds (went from ~174 to ~132) and am currently in a size 2 pant. All of these things sound like they should satisfy me, but for some reason, I'm finding they do not. I may look like I lost 42 pounds to others, but I do not FEEL like I lost 42 pounds. I look in the mirror and like the way my body looks, but I can't seem to stop feeling like I am still overweight and that I need to lose more. I feel like my belly is huge, but when I go to touch it I see that it is flat. I still treat my maintenance calorie goal as a limit to stay under, not a target to hit. This puts me at 400 calories under my goal on some days, but I cannot seem to make myself eat those last calories.
I am frustrated with myself because I did all of this hard work so that I would feel satisfied with myself and proud of what I have accomplished. Now that I am there, I feel like it's still not enough and I need to lose more. Any thoughts or ideas on how I could help convince myself that I am at a good weight?
I too am having a problem with this. I lost almost 100 pounds, and now, at just under 5 foot 10 and 150 pounds (wearing size 4 and 6), I still feel HUGE when I see my reflection or myself in a mirror. The only time I see the weight loss, is in photographs. My mom said it takes the brain 1 to 2 years to fully catch up to the body. so, while we lost weight in our bodys; in our minds, we are still fat...0 -
Glad its not just me. I went out Saturday night and must have tried on everything I own, then very nearly didn't go because I felt like I looked too fat in all of it.
My sister turned up and went 'wow you look amazing - you have lost so much weight' and I just ended up in tears saying that I still felt like I did at a size 16. I ended up hiding from the camera all night again like I used to :ohwell:
The only thing I see a difference in is my face, or if I see before and after photos (not many of those I must say) but I'm still not happy at all0 -
It may be wise to contact your GP who can refer you for counselling. Discussing your feelings with a professional will be infinitely more beneficial than discussing it with randoms on the site.
Congrats on your weight loss :flowerforyou:0 -
Wow - thank you everyone for such an outpouring of support. I can't tell you how great of advice you have given me, you have all given me a feeling of hope. I do have an update to give:
Yesterday, my sister sent me a text that said, "Do you have any clothes that don't fit you anymore? I'm starting to lose weight and my clothes are getting too big, but I think some of your 'too big' clothes will fit me and will save me from having to buy a whole new wardrobe."
My first thought was, "Nope, got rid of everything that was too big." But, I told her I would look one more time, so I did. I ended up with an entire bag full of clothes that are too big. The real kicker was a pink dress I wore on New Year's Eve last year (I am wearing it in one of my old profile pictures). I always thought I had a great, curvy body, until I looked at pictures of myself in that dress and saw fat rolls that I didn't know existed. I was mortified. That was the dress that made me realize it was time to lose weight.
I absolutely drowned in that dress last night. I think it was a big help for me to put it on and realize how small my body has become. I am still not fully there, but last night was a step in the right direction. I will try other suggestions posted here as well, like putting on lotion, looking at old pictures, etc.
Thank you all again for your amazing support. I had no idea there were so many people out there who would care enough about my problem to help me :flowerforyou:
xoxo0 -
I loved this article! Thank u for this. I have been implementing lotion therapy for a few weeks now and I feel more "connected" to my actual size while I am doing it. I still look at myself in the mirror and see the same shape and may actually be more critical of my body now than I was at 242 lbs but I simply assure myself that my brain will catch up to my current actual image. Men used to rarely hold doors open for me and now they RUN to get doors for me. I am 199 lbs now and notice a major difference in how others treat me now as compared with 6 months ago. I love my body, it's strength, and my muscles are visible now. They were always there, just were hidden under thick layers of chub.0
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After having my second child in 2006 I began losing weight by eating healthy and exercising. I was 168 and dropped down to 143. I could see the difference in my body, and I loved the new clothes I was able to wear. Even though I knew I felt great and looked good I still felt that I wasn't exactly skinny. Kind of like I could always lose a little more. I'm 5'3, so I was at the high end of my healthy weight. Fast forward 7 years. Changing jobs and going back to school, and not keeping up with eating healthy and exercising my weight jumped up to 206. I am currently 198 since joining myfitnesspal. I now can look back to when I was 143, and think, Wow! I was skinny.0
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Ladies, I am so sorry to hear so any people whose lives are driven by the number on the scale, even after a significant weight loss. I can see the worry about gaining, but if you lost the weight in a healthy manner to start with- diet AND exercise, and created some lifestyle changes in the process, then it should not be an obsession. What does the relevant data say- blood pressure, cholesterol, energy levels...We diet to look good in our clothes, we exercise to look good naked! I am a little concerned that MFP is creating a negative impact on people through obsessive calorie counting- this is a tool to help you, and when you obsess with it, is it not holding you back? Is tracking every calorie a healthy lifestyle change? Eat you daily requirements and if you feel "bad" about this later, go for a walk, pop in a work out DVD, pump some iron, but don't restrict. I am not trying to sound harsh. Blessings ladies, love the body you have and be proud of your accomplishments.0
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I swear my ex husband has this. He was enormous, so much muscle, an all around huge guy from years of powerlifting. Close to 250, and rock solid. But he would look in the mirror and see the little scrawny guy he had been when he was young. He chose steroids to make himself even bigger. It's a crappy way to live, and I think a little therapy would have gone a long way.
If you are seeing an overweight person when you look in the mirror, I think therapy can't hurt. Logically you know you're not fat, anything close to it. But when you can't reconcile what you see vs. what you are, it can help.
I think another thing would be to have some photos taken. I can't tell you how much better I felt about myself, and how I looked after doing a photo shoot for boudoir photos. Maybe easier to be objective about yourself and how you look seeing it on screen/print.0 -
I struggled with this as a bulimic, but I put my accountant's mind to work on it to overcome it as I approach maintainance I have a pound to lose still (maybe...we'll see at weigh in tomorrow.) but I have slowly started upping my allowed calories to find the spot where I will actually maintain. When I find that spot, that will be my daily budget I want what I pay my body and what it spends as close to balancing every day as possible. Mentally, I know that's easier with money than with calories, but it's a concept I understand and will be able to use to make myself eat those extra calories. I've even been "in the red" the last couple of days and drunk that last cup of coffee to make myself accept that red is okay.0
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