Body Dysmorphia?

SapiensPisces

I had body image problems at my highest weight, and I'm realizing that I have it now too in a very different way.

I'm not to my goal weight yet, but after losing almost 50 lbs and being in a size 12/14 pants, I still end up over in the plus sizes trying on clothes sometimes. I still can't believe I'm not a 18W or 20W anymore, because all I see is "fat fat fat" still. It's getting better with time, but I suspect I'll be dealing with this for a long time.

I think what you're feeling is very common among people who have lost a significant amount of weight. Give it time and try to focus on being as positive as you can. If you find that you're overwhelmed by this, then please don't hesitate to talk to someone.

SapiensPisces

I rely on pictures more than the mirror when I'm feeling particularly down. For some reason I'm able to be more objective looking at photographs. I can see myself how others see me, and it really does help.

^ I do this also. It is very helpful.

fleetzz

My original goal was 140, then 130, then 120, now it is 115. I am 5'4" and at around 125 I still have a saggy tummy and rear. My daughter told me she didn't like how my new clothes fit ( I needed them because I lost the weight) because my stomach protrudes, and that she liked me better before I lost the weight. I still have a high body fat % but am slowly working on it: running as I can and working with a personal trainer. Part of the problem is lack of exercise so long. While it looked like I had muscle, under the fat was more fat.

I will get there, it will take time.

You may also consider the unrealistic expectation we have of the normal/ideal female body due to the media, that more than anything is likely contributing to your expectations of yourself.

wild_wild_life

I think BD is one way to describe the inability to see our body as it isbut I wanted to clarify that this is different from clinical body dysmorphia or body dysmorphic disorder. Be glad you don't have that.

http://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/related-illnesses/other-related-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder-bdd

As others have said, I think we all get used to seeing and thinking about ourselves a certain way and it's normal, even expected, for the brain to take a while to catch up with the body's changes. I also think that there are a lot of other areas in our lives where we probably don't see ourselves clearly besides weight, including our strengths, weaknesses, personality, etc. We just don't see ourselves objectively, so why should body image be any different?

Maybe the important thing is just recognizing it is happening so we don't believe the stories our brain tells us. As someone else said, how you feel physically is probably the best guide, although I know we all want to feel good about ourselves. I like to think the brain will catch up in time and show us how awesome we actually are.

chelstakencharge

I went from wearing a size 20wp to a 4/6p and I still see the fat girl in the mirror. Not duress this will ever change

Kalee34

I seem to have the same problem. I am 5'5" and at my highest(not pregnant) I weighed 185, now I am down to 125-129 and all I can see is the bad stuff. I still see myself as the overweight person that I was 6 years ago. My husband says he gets really tired of me cutting myself down and talking bad about myself. But it is hard for me to except that I am now the skinny girl and not the fat girl. At the beginning of this year a started incorporating weight training into my exercise routine and it has helped so much with toning my body, although I still have saggy skin on my belly:(

dumparump

Totally in the same situation. From going from 160 to 129 and realizing that the weight doesnt sit on me the same way it did before I had my son its a little confusing and frustrating. It gets difficult to keep going especially when dietary and fitness needs keep changing. I just keep telling myself: when I think I can't, push harder; and when I can, push for more.

We'll get there eventually.

oregonzoo

I've been here for a while. I teeter on totally "normal" and realizing where I am physically, to times where I want to cry looking at myself.
It's gotten better, but it's not perfect.

I went from 200 to 136 (actually down to 120 when my self image go so bad just pretty much made me stop eating).

It does help to remember how far I've come.

I hope it gets better for you very soon.

funkyspunky872

As of right now, I've lost 120ish pounds. I started out at 300 pounds, and I still find myself thinking that I'm morbidly obese. I turn to squeeze through spaces that have plenty of room. Whenever I go shopping, I automatically reach for the 'plus size' because I think it looks my size. My ring size has gone from an 11 to a 5.5, and I still see chubby, sausage fingers. When I went to group therapy at my local eating disorder clinic, we played a trust game where you had to walk across a wooden plank/board, and I refused to step on because I was convinced my weight would snap it right in half. (And that was at my lowest weight, I've gained back a ton since then)

Even then... I'm not entirely convinced that I've got body dysmorphia, because it seems so real. It's an endless mind game; most of the time I think other people are just straight up lying to me about how I'm not fat.

trudijoy

Yep I've lost 27kg this year and I struggle on and off with it. I find comparison pics and shopping trips to be the most effective ways of beating it, and I have started buying 'goal' clothes that aren't smaller clothes that I want to get into, but more revealing clothes that fit but I have to develop the confidence to wear them in public.

Brandolin11

Just found a great article in "O" magazine on this subject (including some interesting solutions) if anyone's interested:

http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Can-a-Negative-Body-Image-Make-You-Gain-Weight/1

Couple things I like:

-Have family members cut images out of women who are approximately your size out of magazines and show you what they found.
-Get a huge piece of butcher paper, lie down on it, and have someone else trace the outline of your body - step away from it and look at how small you are
-Switch clothes with a friend who is the same size as you and put on her clothes. Realize that you are actually that size.
-Stand in front of a partner, close your eyes, and put your hands about where you *feel* your waist is. Open your eyes and look at where your hands are. Have your partner slowly move your hands onto your waist, where they actually are.
-Go out somewhere crowded, like a public park or airport, with a partner and both of you find women you think are a similar size to you. Pay attention to whom your partner picks and absorb the image of those women you see.
-Put lotion on each night, slowly tracing your entire body, to get the "feel" for it's new boundary lines

I also read somewhere that one gal surrounded herself with healthy, positive people who were into fitness in various ways and let them "rub off" on her. I like that.

Another one talked about standing in front of the mirror, looking in her own eyes, and saying, "I love you and I accept you no matter what" or something to that effect. Acceptance of oneself is critical.

Exercise is also critical as it combats the inevitable depression we feel over this issue, which can get pretty bad if we let it go on too long.

trudijoy

Couple things I like:


-Switch clothes with a friend who is the same size as you and put on her clothes. Realize that you are actually that size.

-Put lotion on each night, slowly tracing your entire body, to get the "feel" for it's new boundary lines


Exercise is also critical as it combats the inevitable depression we feel over this issue, which can get pretty bad if we let it go on too long.

The clothes/friend comparison thing I did recently. The friend who I have always wanted to emulate is now possibly bigger than me... And my sister in law, who I've always seen as 'little' is now too big for some of my castoff clothes. It blows your mind.

The lotion thing I do too. I often find myself astounded to encounter bones it's as if I forgot I had them.

Exercise - yup. It helps you feel in control

barbieNOT

When I'm heavy, I see myself as a size 8. When i'm a size 8, I see myself as size 18. Only pics give me reality checks.

donnam40

Just found a great article in "O" magazine on this subject (including some interesting solutions) if anyone's interested:

http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Can-a-Negative-Body-Image-Make-You-Gain-Weight/1

Couple things I like:

-Have family members cut images out of women who are approximately your size out of magazines and show you what they found.
-Get a huge piece of butcher paper, lie down on it, and have someone else trace the outline of your body - step away from it and look at how small you are
-Switch clothes with a friend who is the same size as you and put on her clothes. Realize that you are actually that size.
-Stand in front of a partner, close your eyes, and put your hands about where you *feel* your waist is. Open your eyes and look at where your hands are. Have your partner slowly move your hands onto your waist, where they actually are.
-Go out somewhere crowded, like a public park or airport, with a partner and both of you find women you think are a similar size to you. Pay attention to whom your partner picks and absorb the image of those women you see.
-Put lotion on each night, slowly tracing your entire body, to get the "feel" for it's new boundary lines

I also read somewhere that one gal surrounded herself with healthy, positive people who were into fitness in various ways and let them "rub off" on her. I like that.

Another one talked about standing in front of the mirror, looking in her own eyes, and saying, "I love you and I accept you no matter what" or something to that effect. Acceptance of oneself is critical.

Exercise is also critical as it combats the inevitable depression we feel over this issue, which can get pretty bad if we let it go on too long.

Some great advice in both of your posts!

I think this is a real struggle for a lot of people - the distorted view we have of ourselves can really play on our minds.

One idea that was given to me was to get a before and after photo of yourself and put someone else's head on it so you are seeing someone else. Then think about how you think that 'person' looks and how far they have come. That way you take yourself out of the picture.

The other big thing we all have to do is learn to love ourselves regardless of our perceived flaws. None of us is ever going to be perfect but we CAN teach ourselves to be satisfied with the way we look and more importantly, the way we act. Honestly, if we treated friends the way we treat ourselves sometimes, we would have no friends

Best of luck learning to love the new you.

Donna

dakotababy

I have suggested this in a similar thread in the far past.

1 - look at pictures
2 - spend A LOT of time in the mirror. Look at yourself very carefully.

This one, I find to be most effective for me.

3 - Just before falling a sleep, while i lay in bed with the lights out I feel my stomach for a while, also my legs. It helps change my mental perceptive and helps me to realize that my gut is diminishing, my legs are firmer, etc.

sugar297

I think it would be beneficial for you to seek therapy.

tindy5799

have you thought about doing some weight lifting? I plan to gain a lot of muscle once I'm done losing weight because this will take my focus off food and onto fitness and to some degree, nutrition in a different way. Sometimes having a new focus can help. And building muscle will mean you have to eat more and not worry about it because it's necessary to eat excess calories in order to build muscle. And working out always boosts my self esteem.

SkimFlatWhite68

I completely agree with others who have suggested that it might take some time to get used to. I've heard that it takes about half the time that it took to lose the weight to maintain it easily.

I am more or less at my desired weight, not really weighing myself any more, but continuing to work on my physique. But MOST days, I get out my new smaller clothes and think "am I going to fit into this today?"... not sure why I wouldn't... It's not like I'm going to put on 30kg overnight, but I'm still not used to my smaller size. I'll catch my reflection in the mirror and get a shock. Some days I look at myself in the mirror and think - "wow, I look great" other days I'll think I look fat. I went clothes shopping with a friend on the weekend and she kept throwing size 8 and "small" sizes at me and I was laughing saying "I'm not going to fit in that" but I did...

I think it's going to take some time to get used to the idea, and for the head to catch up with the body.

Mr_Knight

I may look like I lost 42 pounds to others, but I do not FEEL like I lost 42 pounds. I look in the mirror and like the way my body looks, but I can't seem to stop feeling like I am still overweight and that I need to lose more.

Yep, sign me up for the group therapy session.

I figure it's a mental scar that will take some time to heel....I also believe that "we are known by the friends we keep"...if we want to stay healthy and fit, it's imperative that we associate with healthy and fit people.

donthesitate

Just found a great article in "O" magazine on this subject (including some interesting solutions) if anyone's interested:

http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Can-a-Negative-Body-Image-Make-You-Gain-Weight/1

Couple things I like:

-Have family members cut images out of women who are approximately your size out of magazines and show you what they found.
-Get a huge piece of butcher paper, lie down on it, and have someone else trace the outline of your body - step away from it and look at how small you are
-Switch clothes with a friend who is the same size as you and put on her clothes. Realize that you are actually that size.
-Stand in front of a partner, close your eyes, and put your hands about where you *feel* your waist is. Open your eyes and look at where your hands are. Have your partner slowly move your hands onto your waist, where they actually are.
-Go out somewhere crowded, like a public park or airport, with a partner and both of you find women you think are a similar size to you. Pay attention to whom your partner picks and absorb the image of those women you see.
-Put lotion on each night, slowly tracing your entire body, to get the "feel" for it's new boundary lines

I also read somewhere that one gal surrounded herself with healthy, positive people who were into fitness in various ways and let them "rub off" on her. I like that.

Another one talked about standing in front of the mirror, looking in her own eyes, and saying, "I love you and I accept you no matter what" or something to that effect. Acceptance of oneself is critical.

Exercise is also critical as it combats the inevitable depression we feel over this issue, which can get pretty bad if we let it go on too long.

I just made a newsfeed about this, im going through the same thing, still in denial about my smaller size and wearing clown pants, I love this post and wanna try this!