Hi guys, boyfriend issue?

Options
Lunera85
Lunera85 Posts: 5
in Introduce Yourself
Hi lads, nice to meet you all! Seems like I got a small issue here, so namely... I'm 20 years old, I weigh 125 pounds at 5'3 height. I consider myself a healthy young woman, maybe not very fit, but I'm definitely not fat... Lately I was told by my boyfriend (who is health and fitness conscious) literally this 'you didn't have that MUCH fat on your belly before'. He also keeps pointing it out and 'measures' my body fat. And laughs. Like an idiot. Then he was keep going on that I should take more care of myself and change my lifestyle. I didn't agree to it, so he mentioned that 'if you're going to have this attitude till the rest of your life, you're not gonna go anywhere' etc. I'm an university student so I would be busy during the week days and I don't have that much free time to plan out my diet and other stuff as he does. Besides... hardcore fitness and diets are not for me, I tried before. We're going out for 6 months. I found his comments offensive and defended myself, however once in every few weeks he does 'remind me' of what's 'important'.
I'm not sure what I should think about him. At the end of such conversation, he would tell me that I can do whatever I want and remains quiet for a while. As if he got offended by my self defense.
I'd like to thank you in advance for your replies
«134

Replies

  • glynda66
    glynda66 Posts: 184 Member
    Options
    Maybe u SHOULD get rid of some dead weight....your boyfriend.
  • Denise52
    Denise52 Posts: 1 Member
    Options
    I once had a fiancé like that...I was about your size...he became my ex-fiancée....I realized I had always been content with my body before him and I was content with my body after him....unless you want to put up with this for the next 20-30 years I would let him know or let him go....!!!

    Taking care of yourself is important and if he was helping you make better decisions regarding fitness/health in an encouraging way that's one thing....sometimes fitness is not always top of our list during busy periods of our life....however, measuring your belly!! and nagging you suggests he's placing a high priority on perfection!!

    Tell him how you feel, give him a chance to think about it and observe if he's able to change...if not, find yourself someone who will accept you as you are...you are young and your body will go through many changes...having a supportive lover/spouse/friend is the best gift you can give yourself...I should know...I have one and he has supported me in a positive way whether my weight has been up or down...he has never made me feel ashamed of myself and trust me, as you get older you will be hard enough on yourself, you don't need someone else to be!!!
  • 2hobbit1
    2hobbit1 Posts: 820 Member
    Options
    If you are into abusive relationships then hang around. If not then look to get out and find someone who likes you for who you are. Your BMI is 22, nothing to be ashamed of. He puts you down, complains you're fat and in general verbally abuses you for a non existent condition. You may need to tone a bit and build muscle but that does not give him the right to complain, or gives him the expectation that he controls you body, your health or your time.
    There are better friends out there, take care of yourself first, take care of your classes next, and then think about a healthy relationship!
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Options
    Um seriously? :noway:
  • T_X_L
    T_X_L Posts: 140 Member
    Options
    "Laughs like an idiot" , because he IS an idiot! Let him find some gym bunny, you've got better things to do (and nicer guys to meet.)
  • Marcia315
    Marcia315 Posts: 460 Member
    Options

    I'm not sure what I should think about him.

    You should think he's an asshat.
  • Kevalicious99
    Kevalicious99 Posts: 1,131 Member
    Options
    Maybe u SHOULD get rid of some dead weight....your boyfriend.

    Even though I am a guy ... I totally agree with this. He is a total jerk. Time for a new one.
  • pseudomuffin
    pseudomuffin Posts: 1,058 Member
    Options
    Maybe u SHOULD get rid of some dead weight....your boyfriend.

    this
  • SmileCozYouCan
    SmileCozYouCan Posts: 315 Member
    Options
    You should talk to him and be honest about it. Tell him how you feel and if his reply is over reactive and negative then it might be time to call it quits...Hopefully everything will be OK :)
  • Marcieb21
    Marcieb21 Posts: 127 Member
    Options
    I think that there are some major warning signs going on here. Honestly he should want YOU to be happy and he should do what he can to make YOU feel good about yourself. It's good to be healthy, but he shouldn't be making you feel guilty about your body.
  • Lunera85
    Lunera85 Posts: 5
    Options
    Lads I'm amazed by the amount of comments on this. Thanks for your support everyone! I actually started thinking that maybe he was right at some point. And that it's normal that a guy complains about a lot of things about my look. But then I looked in the mirror and got some confidence back. :)
  • Keep_The_Laughter
    Keep_The_Laughter Posts: 183 Member
    Options
    Umm....Red Flag....:explode: ...Red Flag...:explode:

    JUST NO...Red Flag :explode:

    Control issues and lack of respect in the first 6 months....JUST NO :explode:

    Move on now before he can waste anymore of your time.
  • Silvermist16
    Silvermist16 Posts: 34 Member
    Options
    Well, obviously he doesn't want you to get fat! That seems pretty important to him.....a bit to important if you ask me. I would get annoyed with his attitude real fast. You will have to determine if that is the kind of relationship you want, maybe talk to him about it, and decide if the relationship is worth it. Really, if your 'honey' doesn't make you feel good about yourself I am not sure why you would stay in the relationship. Don't sell yourself short.
  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
    Options
    Wow. Kick his *kitten* to the kerb. What a *kitten*!
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Options
    I agree with the other posters. Get rid of him. What a jerk.
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    Options
    "Laughs like an idiot" , because he IS an idiot! Let him find some gym bunny, you've got better things to do (and nicer guys to meet.)

    Wise words!
  • NicGAlpha
    NicGAlpha Posts: 7 Member
    Options
    That's ridiculous. He doesn't respect you and you should definitely move on. Everyone deserves someone who is supportive, respectful, and loving. Seriously, he's not worth sticking around for. I do agree with him in that fitness is important and dedicating yourself to choosing a healthy lifestyle shows dedication and will get you far in life (and there are no excuses), BUUUUUUUT he should NEVER treat you that way. It's your choice and he should respect it and love you nonetheless :) Dump him.

    Edit: DAMMIT! I did it again -_- I posted through my boyfriend's mfp x/ Sorry! My actual account is under "dianamatienzo." Sorry :P
  • NicGAlpha
    NicGAlpha Posts: 7 Member
    Options
    Lads I'm amazed by the amount of comments on this. Thanks for your support everyone! I actually started thinking that maybe he was right at some point. And that it's normal that a guy complains about a lot of things about my look. But then I looked in the mirror and got some confidence back. :)

    Good! Don't listen to him! You're at a PERFECT weight-height-age ratio :) If you decide to change your lifestyle it will be for YOU, not for anyone else.
  • dianamatienzo
    dianamatienzo Posts: 127
    Options
    ^ Those comments are mine! lol Just clarifying :)
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
    Options
    redflags.jpg

    You're seeing big red flags.

    You've been together 6 months. This is still his "best behavior."
    If he's this way now, it ain't gonna get any better.

    You're young. Be smart. I wouldn't waste any more of my time on him.

    Good luck!

Categories