Hi guys, boyfriend issue?

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Replies

  • meagsdionne
    meagsdionne Posts: 47 Member
    Tell him you took up running and never look back!!!!
  • golfmonk
    golfmonk Posts: 119 Member
    Maybe u SHOULD get rid of some dead weight....your boyfriend.
    My thoughts exactly!
  • Lunera85
    Lunera85 Posts: 5
    But, it sounds like he is an annoying nag that is no fun in bed, to be honest.

    haha yes, if he really knew what he was doing he'd be trying to up your confidence to make you more relaxed and have more fun, not trying to put you down and make you insecure! it's a sign that he wants to control you. not good... I'm only 2 years older than you and I've already made a 'silent' rule that a guy needs to be 5+ years older than me to have enough maturity ;)

    Thanks for bringing that up, it is true, no fun... I tried, but it just doesnt work with him.
    And this relationship is something I had after I was in a mature relationship with an older guy. And my rule was as well 5 years+ but i thought, maybe the young men are not so bad after all. So I guess I learned. Thanks everyone, he always made me feel regret after I felt bitter about him. And I think it's not right to keep comparing this relationship to my previous, happy one, which ended because he was forced to mvoe out far away.
  • StrongLife
    StrongLife Posts: 525 Member
    Big warning sign! Move on.
  • marshxomellow
    marshxomellow Posts: 87
    Yeah that's not cool he's saying such things to you and treating you that way. 6 months? Wow you'd think he'd at least realize the meaning of respect within the relationship by now. Sounds like he has issues with himself, whatever that is. Or maybe he just needs to grow a pair.
  • MrsMetzler2013
    MrsMetzler2013 Posts: 22 Member
    Wow! Run while you still can! If he is that controlling and criticizing about your weight, think of other areas he will try to control and judge you. I work with a girl who is in a similar situation and she married him! She is super skinny, but he makes her workout everyday and controls what she eats at home. She eats junk food all day at work and then goes home and probably starves. It is a very unhealthy relationship and I worry for her. I think he's a jerk in many other ways too. You can find someone who loves you for who you are. Its one thing to be encouraging, but quite another to be judgmental and mean about it.
  • RuxleyBlueChip1993
    RuxleyBlueChip1993 Posts: 9 Member
    Hi,

    I felt like I really had to reply to this because it struck a nerve. I'm 20 years old and I was in a very similar position with an ex last year. He would constantly make small comments about my weight (eg. he once asked me to stand on his back to get a crick out of it and then told me 'I'll get you to do that in future rather than my best friend, you weigh it down better'. His best friend is a 6ft something, not particularly skinny male.) He also once asked me when we were in bed together what my plans were tomorrow. When I replied that I didn't know he said 'Maybe you could go for a run' and wobbled the fat on my stomach.

    Long story short, this guy ruined my self-confidence, reinforced body insecurities that I have always struggled with and even made them worse. He, too ,would claim it was nothing serious/laugh about it as if it were just a joke when he said these things.

    But please, dump this *kitten* of a boyfriend and move on before the constant niggling destroys your self-esteem. You are worth more than some pathetic little man who can't accept you for who you are and how you look. Go and find somebody who will support you in whatever you choose to do and however much body fat you happen to have that day.

    If you decide to lose weight (you don't need to) or get fitter, do it for you. Nobody else.
  • vickyplum
    vickyplum Posts: 193 Member
    Maybe u SHOULD get rid of some dead weight....your boyfriend.

    ^THIS^
  • Loser_Girly
    Loser_Girly Posts: 9 Member
    You are a beautiful person! Don't let a guy bring you down... If he doesn't like you the way you are, then he doesn't deserve you and you deserve bettter!
  • Llorry
    Llorry Posts: 46 Member
    You need someone who will love and support you not put you down..Just my two cents.
    I see a very pretty lady who deserves a lot more
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    Maybe u SHOULD get rid of some dead weight....your boyfriend.
    Maybe u SHOULD get rid of some dead weight....your boyfriend.
    Maybe u SHOULD get rid of some dead weight....your boyfriend.

    This is the only fat you should be getting rid of.
  • AccioFitness
    AccioFitness Posts: 244 Member
    ... this relationship is something I had after I was in a mature relationship with an older guy. And my rule was as well 5 years+ but i thought, maybe the young men are not so bad after all. So I guess I learned. Thanks everyone, he always made me feel regret after I felt bitter about him. And I think it's not right to keep comparing this relationship to my previous, happy one, which ended because he was forced to mvoe out far away.

    It's never wise to compare relationships like that. Using what you have learned to find someone who is suitable for your wants, needs, and personality is great; but sitting around thinking, "Bob was never like this..." isn't generally helpful.

    My husband is younger than me by 2.5 years. I initially refused even the idea of dating him because I was concerned he was immature and I would end up hurt. My ex-husband had been older than me though, and his maturity was that of a child's. So I set up some rules and demands before dating again, that I wanted respect, support, love, fidelity, and honesty. And wouldn't ya know it my hubs has them in spades. My son from my first marriage calls him 'Daddy' and he was legally adopted as his son last year. Sometimes age isn't the defining factor.

    Here is something I did when I left my ex-husband. I had a 3 month old to raise and I was incredibly jaded, so take it as you will. But I made a list. Pros and Cons regarding anyone I would date in the future. If my boyfriend-of-the-future had more than one Con and wasn't actively trying to better himself be was generally on the road out. They had to have at least six out of the ten Pros I had written. And as time progressed I let myself adjust the list accordingly. It helped me a lot and gave me something definitive to compare my relationship to.

    Perhaps you should take some time and decide wha you want and need from a significant other. Not what "Bob" had or what this current jerkface doesn't have as much as what qualities you know you deserve.

    I wish you the very best in this, OP. I truly do. *hug*
  • CountryGirl8542
    CountryGirl8542 Posts: 449 Member
    I would get rid of him. My boyfriend of a year and a half does not do that to me and if he did we would not be together. He loves me whether I am 250lbs (my highest weight) or 200lbs (my weight when we met).... dam you getting comfortable eating around men! LOL now I am down 20lbs but he tells me he loves me no matter what size I am.... the last thing you need is someone telling you different.

    I would ditch the guy and spend your valuable time on something positive... like yoga or studying! :) Good luck!
  • delythtelford
    delythtelford Posts: 1
    He is an absolute idiot don't listen to that ****. that's a totally healthy weight don't let people thinking otherwise affect you. I let people telling me things affect me and it has only led to bad outcomes. you are beautiful as you are, hold on to that and if he thinks otherwise then he doesn't deserve you and you should find someone that does.
  • soulmyth
    soulmyth Posts: 5 Member
    You're young and in time you may find that you want to make some changes for your own reasons and not because someone is bullying you to conform to their ideal. Find someone that will love YOU as you are not matter what size you are. You're a beautiful girl inside and out.

    By the way, I'm looking for friends with similar goals.

    Have a wonderful day.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    ... this relationship is something I had after I was in a mature relationship with an older guy. And my rule was as well 5 years+ but i thought, maybe the young men are not so bad after all. So I guess I learned. Thanks everyone, he always made me feel regret after I felt bitter about him. And I think it's not right to keep comparing this relationship to my previous, happy one, which ended because he was forced to mvoe out far away.

    It's never wise to compare relationships like that. Using what you have learned to find someone who is suitable for your wants, needs, and personality is great; but sitting around thinking, "Bob was never like this..." isn't generally helpful.

    My husband is younger than me by 2.5 years. I initially refused even the idea of dating him because I was concerned he was immature and I would end up hurt. My ex-husband had been older than me though, and his maturity was that of a child's. So I set up some rules and demands before dating again, that I wanted respect, support, love, fidelity, and honesty. And wouldn't ya know it my hubs has them in spades. My son from my first marriage calls him 'Daddy' and he was legally adopted as his son last year. Sometimes age isn't the defining factor.

    Here is something I did when I left my ex-husband. I had a 3 month old to raise and I was incredibly jaded, so take it as you will. But I made a list. Pros and Cons regarding anyone I would date in the future. If my boyfriend-of-the-future had more than one Con and wasn't actively trying to better himself be was generally on the road out. They had to have at least six out of the ten Pros I had written. And as time progressed I let myself adjust the list accordingly. It helped me a lot and gave me something definitive to compare my relationship to.

    Perhaps you should take some time and decide wha you want and need from a significant other. Not what "Bob" had or what this current jerkface doesn't have as much as what qualities you know you deserve.

    I wish you the very best in this, OP. I truly do. *hug*

    Yeah I agree, you should not take this one experience to decide that you should only date older men. Age is not the issue. There can be abusive, stupid, eternally immature men at any age. And mature, kind, intelligent men at any age. I never considered age to be a factor when choosing a good partner. I considered intelligence, kindness, and things like that. My husband is just 2.5 years older than me, and he was only 20 when I met him and 22 when I started dating him. He has always been an intelligent and mature person. Age has nothing to do with it. And to think it does is actually not a very mature way of looking at relationships, and could lead to more bad choices. There isn't anything wrong if there is an age difference, it's just not what should be considered as the only factor. Before I dated my husband I dated men that were older. They were immature and honestly only interested in sex and getting to be with lots of young girls. I'm not saying that is the case for all older men, but it generally is the case with older men that have the goal of only dating younger women. My point is your connection should be based on something deeper than an age difference.
  • monkeybarswithApril
    monkeybarswithApril Posts: 14
    Lose him - there is a difference between encouragement and being a *kitten*!
  • shawnpcorreia
    shawnpcorreia Posts: 26
    Maybe u SHOULD get rid of some dead weight....your boyfriend.


    Assess the relationship now, before it's too late. Maybe he just doesn't realize that he's coming off like a douche. If you are madly in love with each other, work on it. Otherwise She ^^^^ is spot on.
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    Maybe u SHOULD get rid of some dead weight....your boyfriend.

    For real.. This is the best it will ever be - he's only going to get worse from here. Don't think you're worth more?
  • MuseofSong
    MuseofSong Posts: 322 Member
    I would get rid of him. My boyfriend of a year and a half does not do that to me and if he did we would not be together. He loves me whether I am 250lbs (my highest weight) or 200lbs (my weight when we met).... dam you getting comfortable eating around men! LOL now I am down 20lbs but he tells me he loves me no matter what size I am.... the last thing you need is someone telling you different.

    I would ditch the guy and spend your valuable time on something positive... like yoga or studying! :) Good luck!

    What she said! If your boyfriend doesn't love all of you, your boyfriend doesn't love you. Why waste your time trying to have a meaningful relationship with someone who doesn't love you?

    Flaw fixations or exacerbations are the beginning of the end of any relationship. It can go from a joking nag to abusive, and there's no reason to put up with it.

    Take stock of what you have to offer in a relationship and don't accept someone who brings less to the table than you do.

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