Article: What no one tells you about losing lots weight

FitnSassy

Top things I've learned after losing 150 pounds:

1. You still feel like you are obese. Often when you look in the mirror, you don't see any difference.

2. You're more susceptible to eating disorders, which I learned at the Atlanta Center for Eating Disorders when I went there for treatment myself. In fact, the main doctor there told me that it's extremely rare for anyone to lose a considerable amount of weight without coming away with some sort of disordered eating.

3. You might have loose skin no matter how much you exercise. Hopefully, it'll get better, but in the meantime, it's probably going to make you feel like *kitten* about yourself.

4. People treat you different. In my experience at high school, as soon as my weight loss became apparent, bullying stopped completely. I guess they won?

5. People will not be afraid to talk about how fat you were before. It makes you wonder if you were ever really person in the first place... and not just some fat sack of goo.

This may be *your* experience, but it's not the same for everyone who loses a significant amount of weight.

Thus why I labeled it the 'top things I've learned after losing 150 pounds'.

Noted. However, your use of the pronoun "You" gave your list sort of a generalization feel. Had you continued with the use of "I," I never would have commented. Good luck!

FitnSassy

Beachlover317... I'm flattered that you checked my profile. But what does my/our age have to do with it? Writing style, maturity, thought process, confidence? BTW... I'm impressed by your weight loss success! Why aren't we friends, at *our* age? LOL...

I meant to use the quote reply feature.

Francl27

I think that article is spot on.

I already had the stretch marks, and now my stomach looks absolutely horrible, with a lot of loose skin... and I only lost 67 lbs (I still want to lose 16). I don't even know if it will bounce back at all after. I lost an average of 6 lbs a month, which is arguably too fast, but it wasn't on purpose. And I exercised the whole time (some kind of weight/strength training plus cardio).

It is very real. I see people whose goal it is to get in a bikini and I can already tell you I will never get in a bikini. I'll never be comfortable doing that. I think it's important for people to realize that they might never be able to get the body they want, short of having physical surgery. And yes it is depressing at times, I've gone through all this to get healthier first, but also to look better, and I just look terrible. But at least I'm healthier and look better in clothes.

Cindyinpg

Also, to the people saying it's just because she didn't exercise enough, lift enough weights or lost weight too fast. You need to back off with the judgmental statements.

Fact is this is the reality with large amount of weight to lose. I know some of it is your own fear, but it can be cathartic to have a realistic expectation of weight loss and the psychological implications.

It's not all pretty pictures and looking hot naked. It's hard, it's every single day until your last breath, it's every single thing that goes into your mouth, it's sweat, it's dirt, it's loss of your best friend for some of us, it's expectations that will never be met, it's looking in the mirror and seeing the old battle scars (loose skin) everyday, it's living in a stranger's body, it's self acceptance, and hopefully one day learning to love you body not for how it looks but for what it does.

I encourage people who do have a large amount of weight to lose to google images of people who have been there, and start to accept what may be a possible outcome and learn to accept that the only purpose to losing weight is to be healthier.

Well said. That was the turning point in my weight loss. For so many times of trying to lose weight, it was about getting to a "certain size" by a certain date. When I failed on one or the other - I quit. This time, I have been focusing on my health. Will this food make me healthy? Will this weight training make me stronger and make my bones stronger as I age? Will the running help me with endurance and being able to move into my 60s with some amount of grace? Because there is no end zone dance to be done, I live each day with my health in mind. That has also helped me have a realistic vision of the future me. Believe it or not, it's not about wearing some specific kind of clothes or looking good naked (my husband has loved me through it all). I want to run a 5k or maybe even a 10K. I want to be healthy until I kick. That is all I want.

I agree to a point. It is best to not have unrealistic expectations, especially if they are just setting a person up for failure. But I think it is okay for people to also have 'looking hot naked' as a goal. For myself, I would not stay motivated by having just health and fitness goals. I have goal weight sexy dresses I want to fit into. :bigsmile:

mem50

I was/am part of the few who knew something along this line was going to happen to me and it did.

I lost it slowly (2.5 years) exercised and worked out daily. I know under the smaller sized clothes which pry would be even smaller sizes if there was not so much skin hanging around. (no pun intended) I look horrid. I accept it, my husband accepts it and maybe one day (when I win the Lottery say) I will determine if it needs to go.

bregalad5

bump for the good discussion

AccioFitness

i found this mildly depressing. No, everything about one's life doesn't magically change for the better after losing weight, just as moving to a new city, getting a new significant other, or landing a new job doesn't cure all of life's ills. But I'll take sagging skin over Type 2 diabetes any day of the week.

I am adamantly against what the Biggest Loser television show does to people's expectations for weight loss, but I completely agree with what the producer has to say here.

I see your point, and of course health is the most important thing. But I think there's value in knowing what to expect from a psychological perspective. I don't think it's saying that a person shouldn't lose weight but just that there's value in realizing that things might be more complex than expected. And that there's nothing wrong with you if it takes time to adjust to your new body.

I think these are both valid points. Having an illness that hampers your quality of life is a damn good motivator towards becoming healthier. Or, if you are like me, weight gain can be a side effect of an illness (or a medication that manages your illness, thank you Lyrica). Either way losing said weight will make your quality of life infinitely better. But there are struggles intrenched in trying to lose weight when dealing with a long term illness, it's not as simple for a chronically ill person to drop 20lbs as it would be for a healthier person.

In both counts (from a chronically ill and an average health perspective) the desire to have a lower BMI shouldn't be focused entirely on wanting to be aesthetically appealing. It *is* a major though. We all want to look good and be healthy. It's hard to remove ourselves from the media-focused view of what a healthy body is. Or furthermore, what a healthy body should or could look like after losing large sums of weight.

We have to be accepting of what our bodies look like, and that many of us don't look the what society currently propagates as "pretty." In a few decades that might change, but that is how trends work. And our health and sense of self worth should be more valued than that of a passing trend. But that is something each person has to work through and make peace with. It's definitely something I'm still working through myself.

Laura3BB

Very interesting discussion...Having only about 20 pounds total to lose, I do hope the terrible sagging will not happen to me...but thanks to all for sharing experiences and thoughts

SapiensPisces

If you become seriously overweight because you are using food to treat emotional issues that aren't otherwise being addressed (as so many have also done with alcohol, drugs, sex, etc.), then losing the weight won't solve those problems.

This took me a long time to learn, but it's so so true.

I read this article a few days ago, and I think a lot of the people who had negative comments in the article really had unreasonable expectations and likely not enough psychological support to help them with body image problems that go along with such a drastic change.

Like others have said, I'm thrilled to no longer be obese or anywhere near it now. I do not look like a Victoria's Secret model and most likely never will without a lot of surgery to fix loose skin, sagginess from childbirth and weight loss, and stretch marks. I'm okay with that. My goal is to be at a healthy BMI (not on the border of healthy/overweight, but well within healthy BMI range) and to be able to wear single digit sizes again and look good in them.

I might get flamed for this, but I also think it's totally fine to not have a goal to be a superfit athlete as well. Some people just don't find that to be something they want to focus on, and that's okay. The problem comes when a person expects a "perfect" body but doesn't put in the work to get there and/or doesn't understands the limitations they may have when trying to achieve that kind of body.

MstngSammy

bump

floridapanthergirl

tagging to check out later

DamePiglet

If you become seriously overweight because you are using food to treat emotional issues that aren't otherwise being addressed (as so many have also done with alcohol, drugs, sex, etc.), then losing the weight won't solve those problems.

This took me a long time to learn, but it's so so true.

I read this article a few days ago, and I think a lot of the people who had negative comments in the article really had unreasonable expectations and likely not enough psychological support to help them with body image problems that go along with such a drastic change.

Like others have said, I'm thrilled to no longer be obese or anywhere near it now. I do not look like a Victoria's Secret model and most likely never will without a lot of surgery to fix loose skin, sagginess from childbirth and weight loss, and stretch marks. I'm okay with that. My goal is to be at a healthy BMI (not on the border of healthy/overweight, but well within healthy BMI range) and to be able to wear single digit sizes again and look good in them.

I might get flamed for this, but I also think it's totally fine to not have a goal to be a superfit athlete as well. Some people just don't find that to be something they want to focus on, and that's okay. The problem comes when a person expects a "perfect" body but doesn't put in the work to get there and/or doesn't understands the limitations they may have when trying to achieve that kind of body.

No flame from me!
Hell, Victoria's Secret models don't even look like Victorias Secret models. If real life had an air brush filter... :drinker:


********************************

Off topic (kinda):
I once dated a man who had extra skin from weight loss. He was pretty confident, actually. And (ahem) COMPETENT, too. :blushing:

So, yeah, I guess what I'm trying to say is... a sexy body doesn't have to be one from the pages of a magazine!!

LiveLoveLift67

This was sad to read. I was not that heavy but i can totally relate to the emotional part that comes with major weight loss. I know it is not supposed to be about how you look but , that does play a big part in your weight loss and when you expect something else it can be depressing. There is a huge mental aspect of weight loss ....for me the mental part is harder than the physical. It changes who you are inside and out.

I felt really sad for her in her pictures. I hope that one day she can afford or want to get some skin removal.

I am still not comfortable with my body...and i seriously thought it would look alot better than it does with every thing i put into fixing it. But, i am finally coming to realize i will never look like i had hoped. But, obviously it could be a lot worse.

ereck44

Bump for later!

KnM0107

I was a little sad to read how disappointed she was. I thought she was beautiful. I love that she took so many pics, I wish I would have done that. I was always the type of person who expected the worse. I knew I had over 100 lbs to lose and I expected to have horrible sagging skin. I HAD to lose weight no matter though. In my early to mid 20's my weight had already started to cause major health problems. I lost 125 lbs and I was honestly thrilled that my skin bounced back as well as it did. Maintenance is where I kicked up the lifting an I started noticing more change in my body. Am I perfect? No. Do I love my body? Yes. I am still a work in progress and always will be in one way or another. What means the most to me is that I have my health back and I continue to better myself physically and mentally.

MartiCat70

Yep, I expect to have loose skin. Every body is different. I'm just looking forward to not dying before I'm 50! I seiously need to lose the diabetes and lower my blood-pressure. I'm 43. I don't expect my skin to snap back like I was 25. I got to be young, skinny and sexy. Now I crave health! I'm okay with tucking all the flabby *kitten* into a pair of jeans and just feel great for once!

nikkis01

I hate the way I look when I'm naked (right now at my heaviest) and I wouldn't be surprised if I hate the way I look when I'm naked once I get to my goal - but then only two people see me naked - me and my husband - its not like I can avoid seeing myself naked and I'm pretty sure my husband didn't marry me for the way I look naked either. I spend most of my day with clothes on, and with pants that pull you in and bras that push you up and choosing clothes that compliment my figure, I hope I can hide whats underneath, much like I do now! My main reason for losing weight is to be healthier so I can have a more active life with my husband and kids. Next, I'd like to be happy with what I see in the mirror/photos (clothes on) so I don't have to shy away when someone gets a camera out.

I think this lady is SO brave sharing her story with the world, but its just that, her story! Having looked at her facebook page, it would seem that she lost the 160lb over a year (there is a photo with her driving licence stating "taken 1 year (and 161lb) apart") which would work out at about 3lb a week which is just over the 1-2lb a week normally recommended. I always like reading about other peoples journeys and what they have gone through, the good, the bad and the ugly - means I can learn from them and be more prepared for my own journey.

Rays_Wife

bump

Sovictorrious

i found this mildly depressing. No, everything about one's life doesn't magically change for the better after losing weight, just as moving to a new city, getting a new significant other, or landing a new job doesn't cure all of life's ills. But I'll take sagging skin over Type 2 diabetes any day of the week.

I am adamantly against what the Biggest Loser television show does to people's expectations for weight loss, but I completely agree with what the producer has to say here.

As for The Biggest Loser, executive producer Dave Broome, reached by e-mail, argues the show's primary emphasis is on health, not aesthetics: "When you have one foot in the grave (as many of our contestants do when coming on to the show), being concerned about what your skin might look like after you lose weight becomes a minor issue compared to dying or having a significantly shorter life span because of obesity-related issues," he writes.

This

Sphyk1

bump