partner needs help adjusting to loose skin

2»

Replies

  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    Seltzermint,
    My soon to be ex husband, had low Testosterone too, and was always heavy, and honestly had "man boobs". I never found him unattractive, but....he never seeked help for this low T problem, hence, my weight gain. I was a skinny kid, and a super morbidly obese sad adult. He said my body fat, AND after weight loss was never a problem. He wasn't a very honest man, and so I never believed it due to the lack of sex in our marriage.

    My boyfriend has had 3 loves of his life. 1st was thin, 2nd was heavy, I'm post of weight loss saggy skin. He admits that he's never been attracted to any of the 3 of our bodies, but wants the help to see PAST body type, size, weight ect. He's thrown out all porn. Got rid of his sick USB file he kept of our friends from FB,and has made a call to get into counseling. He's truly working on it I believe. Can he be healed, I don't know? Never been with anyone addicted to porn, and with anyone who has the wrong idea of what a REAL woman looks like....this is so new to me.

    I'm SO happy you found a man who loves you that much and wants you constantly. I will say that I am lucky that my BF does want me, it's just my butt, more than anything does not attract him at all...really the whole body, but my butt being the hardest for him. I do FEEL love, and I do love him, disabled body and all. TO me, he's beautiful inside and out. He just has an illness. But, can this illness be cured like other illnesses can? This is a deep imbedded thing in many men. A good friend sat here in my BF's home yesterday, also around our late 40 age, saying he too, don't want a woman his age, he too, only finds the 20-ish girls attractive, but he's also lonely....and starting to realize that he might be barking up the wrong trees....Ü I pray for our friend too. He don't deserve to be lonely, b/c he has a warped sense of women. Scott and I feel like what we're going through could actually help our friend too? Who knows? God works in mysterious ways......
    Thank you again, and I'm SO happy for you!!!!!
    Lisa

    Thank you Lisa. That is very sweet. I truly hope you can find happiness, with him or with someone else, or just on your own. You deserve it.

    I think society can do some crazy things to our minds. It makes me sad to hear about all of these men who can't get past the idea of a nubile camera-ready female body that only exists in fantasy and that most women only look that way for a very short time if at all. In some ways though, I think most of us have a little of that stuff in our brains even if we don't think we do. For example I have always had in the back of my mind this idea that a guy should be very Type A and ambitious and earn enough for me to never work. I've not had that experience and during a brief period that I was a "happy homemaker" I was soooo unhappy, it's all a lie. I know that's different but it's the same kind of thing, the "ideals" we are all brought up with that permeate our culture. We must overcome that stuff to be happy.

    Good luck with everything!!
  • rb16fitness
    rb16fitness Posts: 236 Member
    OP why are you desperate to maintain a relationship with someone that doesn't find you attractive? This is not something praying can overcome. Either you float his boat or you don't. Simple.

    The porn argument holds no water, as amateur porn has people of all shapes and sizes not just size 0 models. You can't help what you're attracted to and you shouldn't hold it against him. But, you should both go your seperate ways.

    FYI - he could set up a new facebook account and also watch porn on his mobile phone. Throwing away a usb stick and giving you his fb password means zilch.

    Find someone you don't want to change. Find someone who loves you as you are.

Categories