People telling you that you're fat?

Slusher82

I agree

Sassyallday

Being told your fat does not make people change. At one point my dad offered to pay me $50 for every pound I lost. I turned him down and didn't talk to him for a long long time. It would have made you feel terrible, and if you are like a lot of people on here- feeling terrible would have made you eat. A lot. Be glad you never went through that.

When I was about 10 years old, my father saw me in a short nightgown and told me, with great alarm in his voice,that I was "huge"! My aunt, a pediatrician, also told me that I was too heavy and should eat better. All they did was make me feel bad. Not until I was older, more experienced and felt better about myself was I ready to take responsibility tor taking better care. I enlist the companionship of friends and family in walking and swimming for exercise. Good for all of us!

If someone had invited me to go for a walk or dance with them, I would have gotten more active and felt good about it. While sugarcoating doesn't help, neither does negative feedback. Positive, caring support of friends and family are most effective.

mteague277

I'd never tell someone that they're fat. I'd think most people are aware of it.

this.

astronomicals

I think calling someone fat is kinda mean, you can just say that they are unhealthy or something.

Id agree. The word "fat" is kinda derogatory. But, if someone is literally killing themselves, you may just get to the point where you intend to be harmful with your words. I'm not saying it will light a fire under their *kitten*, but, seeing loved ones destroy their bodies can be hard on you and sometimes you just say tactless things because it hurts you. In my opinion, Its no different than snapping on someone with a drug addiction. It may be selfish and disrespectful, but, in some cases it actually helps convince them to change. I'd imagine that more often it has the opposite effect.

wheird

I am fine with someone saying I am fat as it is true. It isn't as if I am unaware of it, so they are welcome to state the obvious.

astronomicals

nvm

Mr_Excitement

I don't see what purpose is served by telling someone they're fat, unless they've asked for your opinion. Telling someone they're fat may not encourage them to lose weight, but assuring them they aren't fat when they've asked you point blank won't do them any favors, either.

I've been asked on a few occasions by friends if they looked fat. If they were, I told them so. It's like a bald person asking if their head looks bald. Well yes, mf'er, it does-- because you're bald.

It's not like it's a character flaw or some personal shortcoming-- it's just some fat.

PearlAng

Maybe I'm in a similiar position. Well, I was severely underweight last year. Quite dangerous. After entering recovery and beginning to approach a healthier weight, my family began to make comments on what I was eating, and saying how I was filling out my pants. An uncle actually told me to stop eating, I could become "fat".

Really, fat is a word I don't use as an adjective; its a noun. Fat is a substance that we have throughout our bodies. Fat is found on cuts of meat. It is merely an insulator, not an insult, though I think people like to use it as an insult. "Fat" does not always equal "unhealthy".

Siansonea

I dunno, it's not my job to tell people how they should live their lives. Some people who are fat are perfectly happy that way, so they don't need me to say "by the way, in case you didn't notice, you're fat, and you're welcome." And people who are not happy being fat are also perfectly aware that they are fat, and they don't need me to say "by the way, in case you didn't notice, you're fat, and you're welcome." It just comes off as rude and judgmental. And while I am rude and judgmental, I prefer for it to manifest in other ways, rather than by picking on people who either don't care or who already feel bad about themselves. I much prefer to pick on people who are full of themselves. :devil:

honey_bee_keysha

No one ever told me I was fat. It wasn't until after I lost about 30 pounds that people started to tell me that I was too chunky before. It's funny because I didn't think I was fat at all.

sami_83

I would hate to be told I'm fat. I know I am. I don't need shame masquerading as concern to try and push me into changing. It's my body and if I want to be fat I'll be fat and if I don't I won't. I'm healthier than those skinny people that have soft drink and cigarettes for breakfast but no one judges them on their appearance. It's BS.
Nobody knows a person's emotional state at any point in time (even if they think they do). You don't know how it will affect them. It's pure selfishness if apropos of nothing you go and comment on their body.
Anyway.
It's my body and it's nobody's business what it looks like.

mustgetmuscles1

Being asked if you think someone is fat?....RUN!




Seriously, with the anti-bullying/fat acceptance/anti-fat shaming campaign that is going on no one is going to tell you that you are fat. There is also a skewed sense of what is actually a healthy body fat level. There are so many obese people now that simply being over weight is "normal".

rb16fitness

My grandmother asked my 'why are you getting fat?' when I weighed 150 lbs. I was annoyed but used it as the kick up the backside to start tackling my weight as I knew I was overweight and made sense to nip it in the bud. Presently down to 133 lbs with 14 lbs to go.

Remember, simply because someone doesn't say it out loud doesn't mean they aren't thinking it.

sunsetzen

I dunno, it's not my job to tell people how they should live their lives. Some people who are fat are perfectly happy that way, so they don't need me to say "by the way, in case you didn't notice, you're fat, and you're welcome." And people who are not happy being fat are also perfectly aware that they are fat, and they don't need me to say "by the way, in case you didn't notice, you're fat, and you're welcome." It just comes off as rude and judgmental. And while I am rude and judgmental, I prefer for it to manifest in other ways, rather than by picking on people who either don't care or who already feel bad about themselves. I much prefer to pick on people who are full of themselves. :devil:

^^this. All of this.

beekay70

If you're ever in doubt, ask a kid. Kids don't have that filter.

watcheronthewall

It's not peoples place to tell others that they're fat. I mean, if it's a partner or parent or someone you're very close to and trust then maybe but otherwise no, people should, and generally do, mind their own business imo. There's enough unwanted fat-shaming that goes on as it is.

monisiaczeq

At my heaviest i weighted 69 kg. Im 170cm and im naturally "bottom heavy". I do have bigger hips and i DO have a bum. My top however is very small. nobody has ever told me i was too heavy- i did not look good and it could not be healthy for me. when i look back at my pcitures i was just simply fat. i wasnt "curvy" like i thought i was. however not a single person mentioned this to me. i have a great relationship with my mum and even she admitted that she has never viewed me in the "fat" category (however after looking back at my old pictures she agreed that this was the case). i think it is difficult for the people around us to see those things. i guess we are always more understanding towards our loved/liked ones...

jennz81

Most people in my life have been pretty blunt about it, thankfully. Granted, there were the small few who were unnecessarily rude.

gomisskellygo

Being asked if you think someone is fat?....RUN!




Seriously, with the anti-bullying/fat acceptance/anti-fat shaming campaign that is going on no one is going to tell you that you are fat. There is also a skewed sense of what is actually a healthy body fat level. There are so many obese people now that simply being over weight is "normal".

I agree with this completely. I was reading a thread here the other day and someone mentioned that "only" being 50-100 lbs overweight was average. That statement speaks volumes. This country has gotten so large that we have pushed the idea of what "obese" is too something that make us feel better. I have lost 41 lbs with another 30 or so go. Never did I think I was "chubby". At least for me, no one told me I had gotten "fat" BUT I could see it in their faces. And I could (can) feel it.

VelveteenArabian

Unless I ask someone their opinion, then I don't want to hear their thoughts. This goes for any subject. I think people sometimes worry too much about sharing their take on a situation and not enough about their own goings on. I could be having personal issues and eating to deal, or be injured and unable to work out as much or have a medical issue. If that persons opinion meant anything to me, they'd know that stuff already and be able to do better than "wow you're fat".