Only we know what its like.

wimpywrx

After my first weeks weight in and a loss of 4lb's i was happy to tell my close friends and family the good news. To my surprise only one person said well done the other comments were, " oh right lets see how long it lasts" and " really it's keeping it of that counts" and other negatives. The only person to really say well done see the hard work does pay off and good luck for the next 7 days was someone that is trying to lose weight as well.
Has anyone else come across this? I have decided to not say anything to them in future and wait for the "Have you lost weight" comment.

Iain (happy).

_KitKat_

Well if they won't say it, I will...CONGRATS and keep going! You have a right to be disappointed in the comments made to you. Its not even that you DID lose weight, it is that you made a decision to benefit yourself and those closest too you should be proud of your choices and your progress. :flowerforyou:

lyricsmamma6469

I've encountered this from my dad. I'm a daddy's girl and I know what his unfortunate view of women is, but it still hurts when he is so quick to put me down. My boyfriend made a comment about me losing 30 lbs in 3 months and that my dad should offer me a grand to lose a hundred in a year. He offered this to my brother who is over 400 lbs and my brother turned him down. My dad's response was, it's only been three months. Not good job or I can tell how hard she's been working. Just "it's only been three months," as though he's saying just wait...she'll fail like she always does.

So for you, and everyone else out there that is working hard, I'm proud of you!! You're doing great and keep it up!!

jlar09

Congrats on your four pounds! I am sad that your friends and family aren't celebrating the loss with you, but you deserve a pat on the back. Congrats!

rnarro

I know that feeling. I think its the negative comments that have made me stop with eating right and exercising. I get depressed easily and with no one to support you or praise you, its even harder. I am trying, though! I started last week and I lost a pound ! We'll see how this week goes.

wimpywrx

A pound is a great start in the first week so well done you.

Thanks for the positives guys i think that no matter how much you lose its not a game of chasing number but a lifestyle change for the better.

Iain.

betho217

Congrats on your weight loss and for making the decision to get healthy! When I first started my friends and family weren't outright negative but they were scepitcal. If I were you, I'd talk to your supportive friend more often than the people in your life who are being negative.

Just think how good it will feel to tell them about your progress one month or six months from now. They're gonna have to eat their words!!

Keep up the good work!!

FJDodd

Don't let other's negativity get you down. Chances are they are unhappy about something in their own lives, and everyone knows that misery loves company. The "wows" and "congrats" and "you look greats" will come in time, but even they do not matter in the long run so long as you are looking in the mirror and saying them to yourself! Great job on the 4lb loss and I know you can keep going and keep it off!

hickorycutie

congrats on ure weight loss... just think ure getting closer to ure goal!!! WAY TO GO AND IM VERY PROUD OF YOU!!!!

steph6467

They are definitely just reflecting their own "stuff" back at you. I've learned to not to bring up the topic of my diet or weight loss with anyone I don't know for a fact will be supportive. Sorry your support system isn't being very supportive! Keep up the good work and validate yourself, you deserve it.

bumblebreezy91

You're right that nobody else really understands until they have to deal with it personally. I think about this all the time.

I will see articles online about people who've lost a lot of weight and have completely transformed their lives. It's so inspiring until you go to leave a positive comment and all you see is, "I don't know why we're congratulating them for taking responsibility for their health like we all have to do. They shouldn't have let themselves get so fat! More people need to learn this and do it and then we won't have such high rates of obesity in this country. It's not that hard! Get off your *kitten* and put down the fork!" and variations of comments like it. It's devastating. I saw it today on a link from CNN (via Facebook) about a woman who lost 200 pounds and the comments are hideous!

I'm sorry you experienced such negativity from the people you were expecting positive comments from. Use it as fuel for your journey. Your motivation can include looking forward to the day when those same people are praising your accomplishment!

Sarahnade42x

I've been through that too..my mom (who is also overweight) made a whole lot of jokes about how long I'd last when I started getting serious about my health. After I made some progress, I realized that I didn't need her to believe I could do it, because I knew that I could. I'm proud of every pound I've lost and no one could discourage me enough to make me stop. Actually, I ended up inspiring my mom to try to lose weight herself
The bottom line is, don't let what anyone else says discourage you. If you want it, you can do it.

MinnieInMaine

When I first announced I was joining WW (again), exactly 4 years ago this week, my brother rolled his eyes and said "here we go again". I'll give him that I had announced many plans to lose weight in the past and none of it ever worked but it still hurt my feelings and pissed me off at the time. He was supposed to be supportive, not a jerk!

But instead of letting it get me down, I turned it into motivation to keep going when times got tough. I was sure as hell going to prove him wrong - and although it became less and less about proving him wrong along the way, I still did!

Binkie1955

you may need new friends.
but this is not uncommon experience. folks don't support each other they way they ought to. find your support here. just keep on doing what you're doing.

that said, be sure YOU'RE turning on the sunshine a bit with these same folks in their aspirations. Always be supportive of folks. you'd be surprised how you start to stand out.

simsburyjet

Its easy to do something for 1 or 2 weeks.. When you get to week 10 then you start telling your family and friends
but guess what they will tell you how great you look.

heybales

I think it's probably because most people would recognize that 4 lbs in a week sounds like some fad unsafe unsustainable diet, the type that rarely last.

And that would normally be the case.

Count the fact that at least 2 lbs of that 4 was likely glucose based water weight (which will come right back on when you go to maintenance), and another lb could have been sodium retained water, and if you told people it looks like you lost 1 to 2 lbs of fat, you might have gotten different response.

Then again, depends on how many people in those folks lives they've seen fail during or at end, including their own. Or if you have history of doing this of course.

BekaP89

no my family is supportive and I really don't have friends to be negative towards me, but forget them I think its great that you lost that much, I can barely lose 2 pounds in a week, some people just don't understand how hard it is

sassyjae21

I learned that in a lot of situations, you have to surround yourself with people who have common goals.

I keep a lot of my habits secret from my family. Not because i don't want them to know, but because I don't want to become discouraged, and I don't want to hear things like that!! I have to give it to my family though, they might be a little skepitcal but they won't say hurtful things and won't roll their eyes (too hard lol). Sometimes you have to keep your goals to yourself!!

sassyjae21

I think it's probably because most people would recognize that 4 lbs in a week sounds like some fad unsafe unsustainable diet, the type that rarely last.

And that would normally be the case.

Count the fact that at least 2 lbs of that 4 was likely glucose based water weight (which will come right back on when you go to maintenance), and another lb could have been sodium retained water, and if you told people it looks like you lost 1 to 2 lbs of fat, you might have gotten different response.

Then again, depends on how many people in those folks lives they've seen fail during or at end, including their own. Or if you have history of doing this of course.

IMO that shouldn't matter.

But that's why you make the decision to do it, and you keep it to yourself. Who cares what you've said and/or done in the past.

THECaptainObvious

Congrats on your weight loss! No matter how much you lose in whatever time frame, it's an accomplished goal you set for yourself. No one should put you down or give you a back handed compliment like "great loss now let's see how long you can keep it off!" I've said this to myself after hearing it from others in the past but those people had issues of their own and so they had no room to be negative for something you genuinely wanted to share with them.. You can do it and we are here for you!

Goal179

Ohh please, ignore them. Four pounds is a HUGE deal. I was so excited when I lost my first four pounds that it took everything in my husband's power to keep me from walking around the house naked. The most important thing about your 4 pound loss, is that it is a great place to start if you want to lose 5 pounds. =0))))

roniredd

I have come to realize that a lot of praise has to come from within! Great job though. You should be very proud.

Brandolin11

Keep coming back to these boards and reporting your successes. Get the support from the folks here and watch how strong you gradually become in your confidence and hope.

And then when the naysayers "out there" in the real world start in with their negativity, you'll realize how little you care about their opinion anymore, and might even find yourself learning how to draw healthy boundaries with people who aren't safe to tell, or even confronting a few of your good friends and family with a kind and gentle, "hey...I could really use your support here - could you do that for me?".

Positivity breeds strength. Surround yourself with it. You'll find it here. Congrats on your first loss!

bcattoes

I have no experienced that and I'm sorry to read that so many have.

OP, you are doing a great job. All of those that are losing or have lost are. There are few things we can do for ourselves that will have more impact than taking control of our health, and getting to a healthy weight is a huge step.

Just think how great it will be when finally get to prove all of their negative comments wrong! :flowerforyou:

bcattoes

I know that feeling. I think its the negative comments that have made me stop with eating right and exercising. I get depressed easily and with no one to support you or praise you, its even harder. I am trying, though! I started last week and I lost a pound ! We'll see how this week goes.

Find some friends on this site who will cheer you on. There are many people who would be happy to help. If you haven't already, you might want to post in the 'Introduce Yourself' forum. There you can tell a little about yourself to find friends that are like minded.

Best of luck to you!

BokBagok

This is exactly why I'm not telling anyone irl (not that I have too many people to tell anyway). The folks here are the ones who really share your path with you, and can relate with where you're coming from and where you're trying to get to. Anyone trying to lose a lot of weight - feel free to add me. We'll keep it positive and productive in here, and all the haters in the real world can go to hell.

Riggers1612

First of all, well done on a fantastic fist week. 4 lb is a fantastic result.

I got a similar thing when I started, however my wife and kids fully supported me. They understood more than anyone how much effort I was putting in and how much of a total lifestyle change I was gong through.

I had comments like, you always lose a lot at the start and things like that.

endoftheside

I pretty much don't talk about it in real life (even 50 pounds later!), but I have some great MFPals.

You are doing this for you not them, let the results speak for themselves over time.

foxynannyjenny

4 lbs is a lot of fat!!
Well done and KEEP GOING!!

SLLRunner

After my first weeks weight in and a loss of 4lb's i was happy to tell my close friends and family the good news. To my surprise only one person said well done the other comments were, " oh right lets see how long it lasts" and " really it's keeping it of that counts" and other negatives. The only person to really say well done see the hard work does pay off and good luck for the next 7 days was someone that is trying to lose weight as well.
Has anyone else come across this? I have decided to not say anything to them in future and wait for the "Have you lost weight" comment.

Iain (happy).

I have not had that happen in years, but long ago I would get the "let's see how long it lasts" when I would go on a crash diet (Slim Fast, Dexatrim, cabbage diet, egg diet, etc. etc.).

I only mention weight loss outside of family if they bring up that I look like I've slimmed. Otherwise, I'm pretty quiet about it.

In my family, everyone is supportive. My beau has even jumped on the MFP wagon.

Ten10

I don't generally share my weight loss intentions. I have yo-yoed so I don't want to tell another story about getting it right this time around. I also know that some people will try to sabotage your efforts lol :noway: