One Night Stand - Liberating or shameful?
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Why do you need Plan B for homosexual sex again?0
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Ok. So "because the bible" said so. Great argument! Religion sure is great at showing logical proof for determining if something is ethical.
It's not that I don't like you. It's just that you're wrong. And I like stating my opinions not arguing. I never said I was the authority. I just happen to have a working brain and don't take "because religion says it's wrong" as a valid answer.
Emma-you're a smart girl. You know better. Some people 100% believe that "because the Bible said so" is a valid argument. The Bible influences their views on sex, love, marriage, right and wrong, child-rearing, etc. People believing in something you don't does not make them wrong and you right. It makes your opinions and beliefs different. That's all.
Morality and ethics are on a continuum. There are very few things that are right or wrong. You're educated. In social sciences, if memory serves. You, of all people, should be able to see both sides of this coin.
There are a lot of things that people believe. Yes, my social science background tells me that a lot of it is cultural and religion is part of how people are brought up. That's pretty easy to understand.
Yes morality is a spectrum and it is culturally relative, but in order to make decisions on what is or isn't moral there has to be a basis to which to make that decision. Religion alone doesn't suffice in terms of basic logic. It simply isn't adequate proof of whether something is right or wrong to say "because X says this". It's like a 3 year old saying "hitting people is bad because mommy told me so". Even if the answer is right, the thought process isn't there.0 -
Believing something doesn't make it true. Basic logic.
Correct.
If you want to sleep with whomever you want, go for it. I won't judge. But I am curious as to why you sit here and judge everyone who has a different opinion than you?
I never judged anyone. I never said anyone had a stick up their butt or were bad people for wanting to only have sex in love. While on the other hand lots of people said that having casual sex was disgusting and a moral issue and that people who have it are bound to be riddled with disease.
As someone who has long worked in sexual health, I find that thinking to be intolerable. As an agnostic I try to do my best not to judge religious people but when those ideas seep into culture and are used to judge someone's sexuality I find it hard not to talk back. I work in a swing club with people who are safe and enjoy casual sex. All of whom are intelligent and good people who have shown me nothing but kindness and all of whom have safer sex practices than the average NYer. So the misconceptions on casual sex appear to me to be nothing but religious scare tactics.
And honestly if "casual" was replace with "homosexual" we wouldn't be having this conversation. Everyone has a different sexuality and preferences when it comes to sex. Why is it so acceptable to judge some and not others?
Wow.
If people don't want to sleep around because of diseases or scared of getting pregnant, then that's their deal. It's not a scare tactic, they are real possibilities, and it is a moral issue for some people, you're just too damn blind to see it.
You know why I don't have casual sex? Because it makes me uncomfortable. I like to have feelings for the person I am having sex with. IT'S A MORAL ISSUE. I'm not saying that other people sleeping around is bad, it's just not my deal. Many people share my beliefs.
Now, I am done here because I can't decide what's dumber..you picking fights over the internet, or me for falling for it.0 -
I'm an old fashioned girl so it wouldn't be something I would engage in.
I am not sure it is all that safe either - strangers and diseases etc.
Um, you do know that there's this neat invention called condoms, right? And this other neat thing called "STD testing" that many adults do?
Agreed. No one suggested unsafe casual sex. Also, a friend of mine got herpes from her husband (now ex) because she didn't know he was cheating, so being in love isn't always a foolproof way to stay away from diseases.0 -
“As someone who has long worked in sexual health"
^^ Really? How long? You're 23. :huh:
Let's stop exaggerating. You're telling people their beliefs are wrong. No one is judging you for your decisions. Sleep with anyone you want, and I will do the same.
Bless your heart. :flowerforyou:0 -
Do what makes you happy and fvck what anyone else thinks.0
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Emma, sit back for a moment, take a breath. Realize you and I are no more right in our beliefs on morality and casual sex than those with a stricter belief about the morality of casual sex.
Believing something doesn't make it true. Basic logic.
Correct.
If you want to sleep with whomever you want, go for it. I won't judge. But I am curious as to why you sit here and judge everyone who has a different opinion than you?
I never judged anyone. I never said anyone had a stick up their butt or were bad people for wanting to only have sex in love. While on the other hand lots of people said that having casual sex was disgusting and a moral issue and that people who have it are bound to be riddled with disease.
As someone who has long worked in sexual health, I find that thinking to be intolerable. As an agnostic I try to do my best not to judge religious people but when those ideas seep into culture and are used to judge someone's sexuality I find it hard not to talk back. I work in a swing club with people who are safe and enjoy casual sex. All of whom are intelligent and good people who have shown me nothing but kindness and all of whom have safer sex practices than the average NYer. So the misconceptions on casual sex appear to me to be nothing but religious scare tactics.
And honestly if "casual" was replace with "homosexual" we wouldn't be having this conversation. Everyone has a different sexuality and preferences when it comes to sex. Why is it so acceptable to judge some and not others?0 -
I'm an old fashioned girl so it wouldn't be something I would engage in.
I am not sure it is all that safe either - strangers and diseases etc.
Um, you do know that there's this neat invention called condoms, right? And this other neat thing called "STD testing" that many adults do?
I could be wrong here but I'm pretty sure there are at least 2 types of STD that condoms can't actually prevent....and they're both of the long term, once you got em you got em for life type.....0 -
“As someone who has long worked in sexual health"
^^ Really? How long? You're 23. :huh:
Let's stop exaggerating. You're telling people their beliefs are wrong. No one is judging you for your decisions. Sleep with anyone you want, and I will do the same.
Bless your heart. :flowerforyou:
Spent a year working with Planned Parenthood teaching at-risk teenage girls. I've been handing out condoms at Gay Pride and talking about sex with my peers since I was 13. Worked with sexual assault prevention groups on-campus in college. Co-edited a publication about female sexuality and sexual health all through college. Currently a graduate student studying public health, including sexual health.
You're 32 and you work as a glorified receptionist. Let's not exaggerate our contribution to this discussion as well, shall we?0 -
OK. This topic isn't really worth getting pissy over and I have homework to do that I've been procrastinating on. So I'm out. Goodnight, y'all.0
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Could go either way!
I don't see the point of giving yourself a hard time about having one... I mean, you can't take it back.
Just take precautions, make sure you get satisfied, and for crying out loud, don't brag about it!0 -
\OK. This topic isn't really worth getting pissy over and I have homework to do that I've been procrastinating on. So I'm out. Goodnight, y'all.
Thank god, maybe now we can have an actual discussion.0 -
“As someone who has long worked in sexual health"
^^ Really? How long? You're 23. :huh:
Let's stop exaggerating. You're telling people their beliefs are wrong. No one is judging you for your decisions. Sleep with anyone you want, and I will do the same.
Bless your heart. :flowerforyou:
You're 32 and you work as a glorified receptionist. Let's not exaggerate our contribution to this discussion as well, shall we?
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In today's world they can be dangerous and lead to bad consequences. Morally I have no opinion. It's a private matter between two consenting adults and can do as they choose. But, while they can be fun and to some extent exciting, they can be dangerous unless you fully know the person and his or her medical history and whether or not they might give you an infection that you'll carry all your life. Among many other things.
Shameful? No, I don't think so. Liberating? No, not at all.0 -
I've never had one. I wouldn't even enjoy it. I wouldn't feel comfortable enough letting my guard down around someone I just met.
But to people who do get enjoyment from it, so long as they are safe I don't see any issue. It certainly shouldn't feel shameful if it was something you wanted and enjoyed.0 -
“As someone who has long worked in sexual health"
^^ Really? How long? You're 23. :huh:
Let's stop exaggerating. You're telling people their beliefs are wrong. No one is judging you for your decisions. Sleep with anyone you want, and I will do the same.
Bless your heart. :flowerforyou:
Spent a year working with Planned Parenthood teaching at-risk teenage girls. I've been handing out condoms at Gay Pride and talking about sex with my peers since I was 13. Worked with sexual assault prevention groups on-campus in college. Co-edited a publication about female sexuality and sexual health all through college. Currently a graduate student studying public health, including sexual health.
You're 32 and you work as a glorified receptionist. Let's not exaggerate our contribution to this discussion as well, shall we?
Just a receptionist, but I appreciate the glory! I did not tout my experience as a receptionist as a pillar on which to rest my argument. Had I, that would be totally valid. As it stands, it is totally inconsequential. But way to call me out. Kudos for being a grown up.
ETA: my contribution is solely based on experience, personal beliefs, and common sense.0 -
Not for me.
This and because I probably would be that girl that gets attached and then crashes and burns. Soooo Ill save myself some trouble and just avoid it.0 -
Also, besides the whole STD/Pregnancy/Morals argument..
Anyone ever have had a stalker from a one night stand?
I have.
She still sents Ms. Clause weird mail..0 -
Sometimes an itch needs to be scratched. As long as protection is involved, I don't think it's a big deal.0
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Also, besides the whole STD/Pregnancy/Morals argument..
Anyone ever have had a stalker from a one night stand?
I have.
She still sents Ms. Clause weird mail..
And you LOVE it!!0 -
Yuck...... I don't want old diseases.Keep em to yourself.0
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Everyone has perspective which is psychologically made up of experiences, beliefs, culture....the list of factors that can go on....and all can be incorporated in how a person views sex, preference, etc. some people place stigmas upon the act, others attach more emotion. Some not at all. Combined all of that influences an opinion on sex, and in my opinion, everyone is entitled to their feelings as long as they are not rudely berating others. I personally thrive on emotional attachment and see no fulfilling attributes to a one time sexual encounter. I have plenty of friends who love one night stands and I don't see any negativity in their decision. It works for them. My choices work for me.
I think that's a great answer 0 -
Sometimes an itch needs to be scratched. As long as protection is involved, I don't think it's a big deal.
I'm your Huckleberry0 -
Liberating when I'm drunk, shameful the next day. The same thing goes for Karaoke.0
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I'm gonna agree with the neither shameful nor liberating camp on this one. They can be fun, they can be awful. Depends largely on the partner, setting, state of mind, etc. To many variables to make a blanket decision.
I will say, though, that I believe there is a moral component to sex, beyond consent, for many people. Not everyone has the same view, therefore you cannot say sex has nothing to do with morality. To some, sex is inextricably linked to religion/marriage. There would most definitely be a moral component to sex for them. To some, sex is a recreational activity, so it's less likely there would be a moral issue.
For me, I'm trying to figure out my changing views on it. I grew up believing that sex was only okay within a marriage. Then I decided it was okay within a loving relationship. Then, I realized how fun it can be and now see it as more recreational. That being said, I find it a different experience to have sex for fun and to have sex within a loving committed relationship. (that's not to say that sex within a relationship isn't fun, btw!) Neither is better or worse, just different. And equally rewarding!!!
There is a moral component to sex?
NOPE
Morality- principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behavior
You tell me how sex between two consenting adults can be used to show a person's ability to determine right from wrong. Please enlighten me as to who is being hurt and how casual sex can be seen as unethical.
As I said, if one is religious and believes the link between sex and marriage, that person would likely think a one night stand has a lot to do with good/bad behavior and right/wrong.
You don't like me. You love to argue. It's cool. I get it. But you're not always the authority on all things sex-related. Others have valid opinions/ideas. It's not a right or wrong answer.
Elegant response. Nice work. :drinker:0 -
STDs are like the lottery. The more you play, the more chances you get to win!0
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Yuck...... I don't want old diseases.Keep em to yourself.
What about new diseases?
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Personally, I'd be ashamed of myself. Maybe for some people, it's a liberating experience, but for me, it wouldn't be. Probably a combination of the way I was raised, my religious beliefs, and the fact that I know it wouldn't even be an enjoyable experience for me anyway because I won't even be attracted to some random guy I meet (I have to have a close bond with someone and care for them deeply in order to even have the slightest desire to sleep with them, that's just the way I am).
And then there's the whole issue of pregnancy and diseases. No matter how much and what form of birth control you use, you're not going to get 100% protection. There's always that 1% chance. Some people think the small risk is worth it; to each their own. For me, I'd rather not take that risk. To me, it's not worth it.0 -
Almost nothing is 100% effective, but if you don't want to be pregnant, there aren't any better options short of abortion.
Abstinence is 100%, just sayin. As far as abortion, I'm not opening that can of worms........
Nothing is 100% effective once you've had sex and have a possibility of getting pregnant. The topic was plan-b after having had sex when the condom didn't work. READING COMPREHENSION!!
No the topic was one night stands. Then you went on about protection and abortion etc. READING COMPREHENSION0 -
“As someone who has long worked in sexual health"
^^ Really? How long? You're 23. :huh:
Let's stop exaggerating. You're telling people their beliefs are wrong. No one is judging you for your decisions. Sleep with anyone you want, and I will do the same.
Bless your heart. :flowerforyou:
Spent a year working with Planned Parenthood teaching at-risk teenage girls. I've been handing out condoms at Gay Pride and talking about sex with my peers since I was 13. Worked with sexual assault prevention groups on-campus in college. Co-edited a publication about female sexuality and sexual health all through college. Currently a graduate student studying public health, including sexual health.
You're 32 and you work as a glorified receptionist. Let's not exaggerate our contribution to this discussion as well, shall we?
Emma, seriously STFU. You seem up-tight, perhaps you need to go for a ONS?0
This discussion has been closed.
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