Very frustrated and upset.
idontlikebeingoverweight
Posts: 9
When I was 26, I decided to make a change in my life. Over the next 2 years I lost 58 lbs.
Unfortunately, I gained 33 of it back. Right now I am upset and despairing and feeling hopeless. Even if I conquer the weight problem again, it will sneak up on me and I'll be fat again.
I feel like this is an uphill battle and I keep getting knocked down. Two months of skipping workouts and eating junk and the weight just piled back on. I realize I was wrong to do that to my body, but in addition to a faulty metabolism, I also suspect that I may suffer from a moderate case of compulsive overeating.
I just need some words of encouragement and support. I feel terrible about myself and everything I've done right now. I worked so hard and so long to get those pounds off, and then just ruined all my hard work. I feel like a failure.
Unfortunately, I gained 33 of it back. Right now I am upset and despairing and feeling hopeless. Even if I conquer the weight problem again, it will sneak up on me and I'll be fat again.
I feel like this is an uphill battle and I keep getting knocked down. Two months of skipping workouts and eating junk and the weight just piled back on. I realize I was wrong to do that to my body, but in addition to a faulty metabolism, I also suspect that I may suffer from a moderate case of compulsive overeating.
I just need some words of encouragement and support. I feel terrible about myself and everything I've done right now. I worked so hard and so long to get those pounds off, and then just ruined all my hard work. I feel like a failure.
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Replies
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Dont beat yourself up about it! You can do this because you have done it before! Tomorrow is a new day! Just start over. I can understand where you are coming from, but just remember, Rome was not built in a day (or so they say). I am glad that you took the first step of many that will help you get back on track. Together we can do this! Feel free to add me!0
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sorry: tough love ahead
it really doesn't help to loathe in self-pity... especially over something you are capable of changing like your eating habits/diet. If your overeating is out of control, then maybe you need to seek counseling regarding the underlying reasons why that is. Otherwise, you ARE capable of change and YOU can be the change you want to see in your body. Normally, I'd tell someone you can't change the past (regarding the weight you've gained back), but in this case: you can lose the weight again. Don't fret CHIA PET!!0 -
Thank you so much. That means a lot.
I feel ashamed. Now I'm finding it hard to start exercising again. I can't believe how out of shape and lazy I've become. I used to never miss a workout. I don't even know who this person is that I've become, but it's not me at all.0 -
You are not a failure, you simply made some bad choices and side tracked yourself. You are taking the steps to get back to where you want to be. The path that we are all on is a long You have to make the choices in your diet and also in your exercise plan that you can maintain. The first step back is always the hardest and you have taken it. You need to figure out what causes your overeating whether it is stress or just boredom and correct that pattern. You can do this!! We are here to give and also receive support from people who are going through the same thing. Stop beating yourself up and make the decision to fix it. Please feel free to add me and I will try to help as much as possible...Welcome to MFP
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I definitely agree that I need to seek counseling regarding the fact that I stuff myself when I'm bored. I eat way, way past the point of being satiated. I even feel sick at times. I hate doing this to myself. More than lack of exercise, I'm hurting my body by overeating and eating the wrong foods (carbs, cheese, processed crap). I even somehow lost weight stuffing myself with those foods. I need to change a lot more.0
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I know exactly what you mean! I did the same. Lost lots of weight and went through two years of grandparents going downhill and passing. I put it back on and now trying to get it back off. My realization- I can do this however I need to work through being an emotional eater. Welcome. We can do this.0
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Thank you, Lorelai. It helps so much knowing that I'm not alone in this horrible situation. It's so frustrating. More than getting this weight off, what really haunts me is the fear that I'll never be able to maintain.
I kept my weight off for seven months, then backslid. I'm so mad at myself. : (0 -
I know how you are feeling, I used to eat for what seemed like no reason at all. I did find this book that helped me, it is called " conquer your food addiction" and I find it really helpful for teaching you ways to change your habits. I don't follow everything in the book, but I do follow most of the mental things in the book. Also don't beat yourself up, we are our own worst enemies in this weigh loss journey. Stay positive, if you slip up don't use it as an excuse to keep doing it, learn from it and make a change. I used to eat and while eating telling myself that I am full but still continue to eat. For what.....boredom, sadness, stress, life, etc. I changed my habits, instead of at nap time eating while my little girl slept, I read, or clean or just relax without food. I do more exercise, and involve the kids in it which makes it fun for me and the kids. I eat less, not dieting just eating less, well I definitely don't eat as much junk as I used to, but I do have a snack everyday or every other day. I guess what I am saying is just believe in yourself, love yourself faults and all, and yes there are going to be hard times but don't get hung up on them. I find doing something active wise with the kids or talking to my mom really cheers my up and brightens my day if I am having a down day. But don't give up on yourself, and remember in all your imperfect glory, love yourself. I hope this helps brighten your spirit, and stay positive.0
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I have been there right where you are. I am back there now. The only thing I can do is try for today. It's a ****ty cycle. Food is good. Food is love. Hunger sucks. Make a decision to start slow. That's what I am doing. And I can beat myself up more than anyone else. So I feel your pain. Do I over eat? Maybe. But I didn't gain weight from eating healthy and exercising. I can just move forward and stop worrying about it. We are not alone 0
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im in the same boat right now.
i dropped 3 dress sizes... thought i was doing just fine.. started having fun.. which didnt include exercise and eating habits.
now im bursting out of my clothes feel like an old plump dumpling and wanted to stick my head in the sand.. instead i chose to come here and do something about it. you have taken the first hard step which is to get help and for us little chumpys its not as easy as it sounds. positive thinking doesnt always wanna hang around.. so remember to come here whenever you get down.. instead of eating what looks like a yummy chocolate bar come here and get the strength to say no... ive noticed after 3 days that i feel better and looking at what im eating does help, YOU WILL SUCCEED AGAIN 0 -
...it will sneak up on me and I'll be fat again.
IMO the first thing to acknowledge is that 30+ pounds of weight gain can't "sneak up" on anyone. For whatever reason, you made a choice over a long period of time to allow it back on.
And that's cool. Pretty much everybody here has done that at some point or other.
But if you want to make a long term change, you'll have to take ownership of and responsibility for your body.0 -
Hey, look... you have not ruined everything. You are still down 25 pounds and you have caught yourself now, as opposed to regaining all the weight you lost and more. Yes, these changes do have to be lifelong and yes, that can be a little discouraging. Of course we would all like to eat everything we want to and as much as we want to, but the reality is that not many of us can. In fact, those who can usually can not do that indefinitely. Bad habits catch up to all of us. I guess that what we all have to learn is how to balance our occasional indulgences with our regular nutritious food intake and energy output.
Stop cutting yourself up over this. The fact that you are back on this is a great thing because we all motivate each other. Just start right now to be back on track. The weight will come off all over again and you will feel and look wonderful in just a few months. Good luck.0 -
Omg! I can't believe how out of shape I have become! That's the real kicker. I can take something for my cholesterol but only walking is going to help make the trip to the mailbox less taxing. That's where I am - baby steps.
You did the right thing just to come here and share your feelings.0 -
I really didn't want to reply to the negative guy, but it was a matter of three months. It was not a long period of time. I have a severe weight problem and even a few months of not working out and eating high calorie foods piles weight back on.
I find your tone critical and condescending and I don't need that kind of negativity around me right now.0 -
Hey, look... you have not ruined everything. You are still down 25 pounds and you have caught yourself now, as opposed to regaining all the weight you lost and more. Yes, these changes do have to be lifelong and yes, that can be a little discouraging. Of course we would all like to eat everything we want to and as much as we want to, but the reality is that not many of us can. In fact, those who can usually can not do that indefinitely. Bad habits catch up to all of us. I guess that what we all have to learn is how to balance our occasional indulgences with our regular nutritious food intake and energy output.
Stop cutting yourself up over this. The fact that you are back on this is a great thing because we all motivate each other. Just start right now to be back on track. The weight will come off all over again and you will feel and look wonderful in just a few months. Good luck.
Thank you. You're right. I should be grateful for the 25 lbs that are still off (and will NOT be coming back on my body). I have to think positive.0 -
Today is a new day. Get back up and jump back in the swing of things. Some people put too much pressure on themselves during the "Holiday Season" trying not to indulge or over thinking about their weight. But take one day at a time. If you did it once before you can do it again. Don't beat yourself up over something ONLY YOU can change. 0
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I definitely agree that I need to seek counseling regarding the fact that I stuff myself when I'm bored. I eat way, way past the point of being satiated. I even feel sick at times. I hate doing this to myself. More than lack of exercise, I'm hurting my body by overeating and eating the wrong foods (carbs, cheese, processed crap). I even somehow lost weight stuffing myself with those foods. I need to change a lot more.
You might want to try FA. Their website is:
http://www.foodaddicts.org/
Have a freind who used this program, and not only lost 160lbs, but has managed to keep it off. It a non BS approach. But before you try them, make a commitment to do this. Before you do anything, you need to decide if you want it. If you do, then do it. I am a sugar junkie, who, despite working out almost every day, gained wt. I have not had any processed sugar (except for 2 pcs of fudge) since Nov 23. I started MFP on Nov 25th, and have lost over 7 lbs...you can do it if you want it.0 -
Although many may say the scale is the devil..ha ha..I think that what alot of us do is STOP STEPPING on it as if it does not exist and then when we are ready to deal again we are blown away by the number we see on it. I think that whereas the scale is not the be all, end all that it keeps us honest. I will never forget growing up that my grandmother would step on the scale at least once a week and if she had gone up a few pounds you would hear her say "the scale was a bit up..I need to watch it"..you know you have done it before...you can do it again! Chin up! 0
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Its hard but u can do this....after all uve already done it once....its just a matter of making little sustainable changes finding a healthy cal intake that doesn't leave u starving and finding a way to be more active in a way u love as opposed to something u feel u have to do! I love my workouts and if i do one i don't love i wont go back to it!0
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When I was 26, I decided to make a change in my life. Over the next 2 years I lost 58 lbs.
Unfortunately, I gained 33 of it back. Right now I am upset and despairing and feeling hopeless. Even if I conquer the weight problem again, it will sneak up on me and I'll be fat again.
I feel like this is an uphill battle and I keep getting knocked down. Two months of skipping workouts and eating junk and the weight just piled back on. I realize I was wrong to do that to my body, but in addition to a faulty metabolism, I also suspect that I may suffer from a moderate case of compulsive overeating.
I just need some words of encouragement and support. I feel terrible about myself and everything I've done right now. I worked so hard and so long to get those pounds off, and then just ruined all my hard work. I feel like a failure.
Cut it out...you are being way too hard on yourself. It happens to people! But it doesn't have to happen. And you can change it! That's the great thing about it! You need to congratulate yourself for losing weight in the first place; and keep that in mind, you can do it again It's not easy. If it were, we would all have perfect bodies. Please don't mentally beat yourself up. If you are compulsively overeating, I agree, counseling might help in order for you to find out what you're missing in your life that you are trying to satisfy with food.
Don't feel like a failure. This is a lifelong battle for a lot of people. It's just time to start over. You can do this, and you can stay with it! If you need friends, feel free to add me.0 -
I've been there. I lost 25 pounds, put on 30, then 10 more. Might not sound like much, but I'm pretty short, so it actually had some pretty bad health effects for me. I felt hopeless. Then I started making better choices, one meal at a time. I had the help and support of a group of friends who were trying to do the same. It made a huge difference. It's great that you are here asking for support.
Every day is a new chance. Every hour is a new chance to start over with better choices. Had a lousy breakfast? Commit to eating a better lunch. Beating yourself up for something already done is living in the past. It's done. Can't do anything about it (purging is not an option). Live in the present. Better choices are a gift you can give yourself every day. You deserve the very best for you.0 -
I know how you feel and sure many others feel the same way. You lose the weight and know better what will happen if you continue down the same track but, things get in the way... activities, work, possibly children's activities and then you suddenly have no time for yourself. I know, because it happened to me and I am dealing with the consequences now.
A little over 2 years ago I lost 35 pounds and was down to 201 pounds on my way to ultimate goal of 190 and first a hamstring pull happened, then came the holidays, then came son activities and now I am 5 pounds more than where I started before. It sucks but, I know deep sown I won't let it happen again.
Hang in there-- realizing the issue is first major step.
Dave0 -
I have gained back about 20 lbs I lost, and it is VERY frustrating! Get back to it, and this time stick to your healthy changes!! We've all been there-you are worth the effort!! 0
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Don't look at yourself as a failure.I always tell myself "you can not fail if you never give up." You are not the only one that has lost and gained it back I'm 51 and i have done this all my life.I have finally got a hold on this and I know you have to look within to figure out why you sabotage your hard work.Just don't give up you are worth all the hard work and you deserve a happy life.0
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sorry: tough love ahead
it really doesn't help to loathe in self-pity... especially over something you are capable of changing like your eating habits/diet. If your overeating is out of control, then maybe you need to seek counseling regarding the underlying reasons why that is. Otherwise, you ARE capable of change and YOU can be the change you want to see in your body. Normally, I'd tell someone you can't change the past (regarding the weight you've gained back), but in this case: you can lose the weight again. Don't fret CHIA PET!!
I agree with this.0 -
Well. Its not the end,its the begining, I remember my motto for quiting smoking."Its easy to quit...I've done hundreds of times" but the last time was the hardest and lasted the longest...same as diets..it has to be a complete change in your life style. You can do it!! But only YOU have to make it your last...regards..and best of luck!0
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hey - we all feel like this sometimes.
Maybe losing weight is only a battle in the war - you know what I mean? Perhaps expressing yourself to your family members in order to gain some morale will do wonders. There are a lot of emotional issues attached to weight gain/loss, so make sure you sort them out first or you'll never get over it.
As with the diet, please don't worry about it. You've gained weight, okay....you have to accept it and battle it off again. I don't mean to preach, i know that you'll be very upset right now, but it's not like you've lost a leg or an arm! This can be rectified! :drinker:
The great thing about putting weight on is that you can ALWAYS lose it again. Bare this in mind when you feel that you'll never win the battle against the bulge.
all the best x0 -
You sound like you're where I was a few years ago. You just need to look in the mirror and tell yourself you're worth the time and effort it's going to take to do it right this time around. Over and over and over and over again until you believe it. Once you do, there will be no stopping you!! You've proven before that you can do it, you just have to start again and be nice to yourself, even on days when you don't feel like it.0
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If you lost so much weight, you can do it again! Yes, you gained, but there's still some loss, and at least you now know what to do to succeed. I would try to relax and understand the reasons that led you to gain those weight back, because, trust me, this doesn't happen to anybody, so you can do it mainteinance isn't easy but not impossible. You just need to start again with a new strenght. 0
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Even if I conquer the weight problem again, it will sneak up on me and I'll be fat again.
This negative, defeatist attitude will lead you to nothing but failure. This is the first thing you must change. If you can't believe that you can do it and maintain it, you simply won't be able to. You must have faith in your ability to learn and grow. It's not just about weightloss; we often have to change the way we operate on the most basic levels to make our lives what we want them to be. It starts with the way you think.
You did it before. You have the tools you need for success. Now you have to identify what made you slip up. It isn't over yet.I also suspect that I may suffer from a moderate case of compulsive overeating.
And here you have identified something that needs work. Look into it further. Be mindful of the situations that lead to you over eating. Find ways to combat them.
If you eat out of boredom, find something to do that is stimulating-- get out of the house, away from food.
If you eat out of emotional distress, start journalling or call a friend.
If you are the type of person who must clean their plate, serve yourself smaller portions so that you get the mental satisfaction of clearing your plate without the over eating. If you're at a restaurant, split entrees or have a salad and an appetizer, or take half your food to go, or push your plate away when you feel satisfied, and cover it with a napkin.
Do not despair. Do not give up.0
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