Very frustrated and upset.

jellybean482004

I too understand where you are. I have done this journey for the umpteenth time. This time tho will be the last time. I've known since I started that it was a lifestyle change that needed to occur but this time it hit me that it really is true. I lost 55 lbs/77lbs /50lbs each time and with life , work, raising a family....talk about feeling hopeless. Before I found MFP, I called a weight loss centre in tears and cried desperation that I needed help getting back on track. On the scale the next day I was 40 lbs heavier than when I weighed when I had lost the 77 lbs. The nutritionist said to me.."..you know Ange, this time maybe you'll realize it truly is a life-style change" But somehow that gave me the determination and "kick in the pants| that I needed to get started again and that's when few weeks later I found MFP.

Some Inspirational quotes that I find have helped :

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
-Winston Churchill

The only real failure is the failure to try.
-Joan Benoit

Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.
-Conrad Hilton

You've made the hardest step , the realization of the need to get back on track. A "bad" meal doesn't ruin a day, a "bad" day doesn't ruin a week. One baby step at a time. The important thing to remember is "never give up"on yourself!!

Feel free to add me if you like. Welcome aboard!!

StrongWoman13

I am in the same boat. Just trying to take care of myself one hour at a time. If I think that tomorrow is another day and may blow off the rest of the day. If I know that I can start over any time of the day, I don't beat myself up as much or as often.

jellybean482004

Just found this letter that I had in my" motivation folder" hope it helps.......

Motivational Letters

Are you Eating Compulsively or are you Really Hungry?
Food
Friday November 01, 2013


I vividly remember a lecture given to us by an expert on weight management. She herself had tried many, many ‘diets’ only to fail at each one. It was only when she learned the ‘art’ of eating according to true stomach hunger and not respond to the sight, smell or situations surrounding food, that her weight came under control.

For those of you who are struggling or feeling guilty because you aren’t sure how much you should eat, or you are feeling guilty because you perceive that you have eaten too much, it might be worth a try at trying to respond to true stomach hunger.

Simple as it may sound, the question “Am I hungry?” can be a profound one. Many of us tend to eat when true hunger is the last thing we’re feeling. A lot of us reach adulthood without being able to identify the feeling of stomach hunger or if we can, the signal is very dim.
The whole notion of eating in response to stomach hunger is so alien that we might be shocked to hear another person turn down the offer of a meal with “Thanks, but I’m not hungry right now.”

Try making a conscious effort to tune into your hunger. If we continue eating in response to emotional or “head” hunger, the ability to identify stomach hunger signals will wane. Your stomach is unable to tell you that it’s hungry if you’ve just filled it to deal with some other feeling. The more you look forward to the experience of stomach hunger, however, the more apt you are to find it.

Some people are genuinely frightened by the idea of stomach hunger. This may be because they cannot feel hungry without recalling all the other emotions that accompanied hunger in their memories. Others may feel that if they allow themselves to feel hunger, they may eat uncontrollably.

Learning to eat from stomach hunger after many years of eating from head hunger is not simply a change of habit, nor is it a mere reconditioning of your eating behaviour. Each time you feed yourself out of stomach hunger, you are demonstrating your ability to respond to your needs and fuel your body properly. Think of it this way: As you become more in tune with yourself, you will feel more secure. As you practice this, you become very self-aware and much more unlikely to be sabotaged at unexpected exposure to food. Thus, your mind will learn to respond to, “Am I really hungry?” versus “Oh, there is some food, I want to eat it.”

Now, this all may sound easy, but what is true ‘stomach hunger’? To me, it is a physical, slightly “empty” feeling in the stomach. It is not about feeling ravenous or shaky; it is about recognizing your body’s signal for fuel. It does not take much food to settle a truly “hungry” stomach. Protein and good fats will satisfy this physical hunger more efficiently and for a longer period of time than easily-digestible starches. The art of learning to eat smaller quantities of nutritionally-dense food to satisfy true hunger is what we want to learn to do.

I’m not sure when the shift in our society occurred for the need to respond to super sized foods or excessive portions. There is no question; we have lost the ability to know what a true portion is. Other than measuring and weighing, one way to always be in control is to eat when you are hungry, but stop when you are satisfied. Eat slowly, because that feeling of satisfaction is delayed. Also eat foods that won’t spike your blood sugar and will keep you full longer.

So, try the art of paying attention to the stomach’s signals (instead eyes, nose, time of day, stress levels, tiredness, etc.). If the stomach is asking for fuel, then eat. If not, wait, because you are not in need of food. If you are feeling tense and simply want to fulfill that oral gratification of putting something on your lips or tongue, have some something to drink like water, tea, or coffee.

None of this is easy, but if you practice you will feel in control because you will now be eating according to your needs, yet not overeating based on portions determined by someone else.

Keep trying different techniques. Find out what works for you. It’s not easy, so never, ever give up on yourself.

Dr Doug

idontlikebeingoverweight

Thank you so much, everyone. I'm looking forward to starting my journey again.

andreahanlon

I cycled weight a lot since I was about 10 years old and something that really helped me was learning behavior modification. I first learned it when I was hired to work in -- get this -- drug rehabilitation! Once you look at the way some folks deal with drugs, I noticed similar patterns in myself (for example, high levels of relapse and the expectation that several attempts are usually required before seeing success). After teaching behavior modification for people to quit smoking, I realized that these same behaviors could help me in losing weight. Examples include: setting your environment up for success, writing out a plan (what/when you will do things), bringing on a support system for encouragement and accountability, envisioning success when in a tempting situation, reinforcing new healthy behaviors to replace old ones, waiting out a craving for 3-5 minutes before taking action, substituting a craving with something beneficial (for example, sweet tasting flavored water or diet hot chocolate instead of a king size candy bar) etc. I also joined Weight Watchers during this time and found that they teach the same type of principles. In 3 months in 2009, I lost 25 pounds and through using behavior modification, I have been able to maintain that weight. Since you self-identify as struggling with a compulsive behavior (which is how I also self-identified), I would recommend learning more about behavior modification techniques through self-study or even better, joining a group that could help (like weight watchers or a similar outfit) since compulsive-type behaviors are usually very difficult to handle on your own.

Hang in there and keep trying. I always think that everything I do toward the good today is a positive step. Forget yesterday and start clean today toward a healthier future.

amy1612

I really didn't want to reply to the negative guy, but it was a matter of three months. It was not a long period of time. I have a severe weight problem and even a few months of not working out and eating high calorie foods piles weight back on.

I find your tone critical and condescending and I don't need that kind of negativity around me right now.

If you ask for advice you have to sometimes be willing to take some harsh reality or criticism. The tone he used wasn't condescending or mean, just honest.
I think it speaks more to your current state of mind that you took it to be a very negative comment. If you create a thread speaking about frustration at 'messing up' not everyone is going to tell you that its all sunshine. Take the good comments, and the harsh comments all with the same pinch of salt. Get back up on the horse and continue to look after yourself and keep moving forward. Youve acknowledged that you want to change, so youre already on your way.

samilexi38

Its like riding a bike if you fall of get back on. Its not going to be easy but you can do it.

scottyg70

I didn't take the time to read every reply to your post, so I apologize if I'm re-hashing anything.

First off, like at least one person said: self-loathing will get you nowhere. Most of this "battle" is mentality. If you go in expecting to fail or are beating yourself up for failing, then you'll most definitely fail.

Second, I hate the term "journey". While you are trying to go somewhere, what happens once you are there? Look at this as a permanent lifestyle change. Develop good habits, both in excercise and diet and make them permanent changes. Screw the fad diets, the magic pills and other gimmicks. How and what you eat is going to make the difference.

Finally, everyone hits a pothole in the road once in awhile. I have lost weight, gained it back and then lost it again. Don't dwell on it. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Good luck!

karlsantiago

I feel that MOST people have these times in their lives when things happen and it is just way easier to get off the grind everyday and skip the daily routine. I know I have been through that plenty of times in the past.

The only thing I can say is that being healthy and doing everything that it involves cannot just be a temporary phase in life. It has to be a lifestyle and it has to be something that you LOVE TO DO. Be passionate about it, I mean you only get one body in life and it needs to be taken care of just as anything. That said, when tough times come, try using those as motivators to get you up early in the morning and in the gym. When you get the sudden urge to eat (when it is not time to) give yourself distractions. I'll give you an example; when there's something troubling me and I have a lot on my mind that I just want to go away, I get down on the floor and do push ups UNTIL I FORGET. Best believe that I not only built up a pretty nice chest through the past months, it made me mentally stronger. Train your mind and you will have complete control over your body. Do what ever it takes to get yourself to LOVE working out and eating healthy--brain wash yourself, say it to yourself every morning, have a lifestyle epiphany, whatever it takes. But make sure whatever it is you do, you do it in the healthiest possible, and trust me you will never have to convince yourself again that you love it. The results will keep you motivated.

bottom line.
SOUND MIND = SOUND BODY = EVERYONE HAPPY

ames105

I'm a bit older than you and, unfortunately, I have done the weight loss & gain back thing many many times. This is an uphill battle, something I will struggle with for the rest of my life. I have been where you are, very frustrated and upset with myself and I found comfort in food...how ironic!

The only thing I can suggest, the only way out of it, is to shake yourself off, pick yourself up and move forward again. Focus on a lifestyle change because this has to be 'for life' or the weight will always come back. You can do this, Good luck!

idontlikebeingoverweight

I really didn't want to reply to the negative guy, but it was a matter of three months. It was not a long period of time. I have a severe weight problem and even a few months of not working out and eating high calorie foods piles weight back on.

I find your tone critical and condescending and I don't need that kind of negativity around me right now.

If you ask for advice you have to sometimes be willing to take some harsh reality or criticism. The tone he used wasn't condescending or mean, just honest.
I think it speaks more to your current state of mind that you took it to be a very negative comment. If you create a thread speaking about frustration at 'messing up' not everyone is going to tell you that its all sunshine. Take the good comments, and the harsh comments all with the same pinch of salt. Get back up on the horse and continue to look after yourself and keep moving forward. Youve acknowledged that you want to change, so youre already on your way.

What I mean is that I don't need someone telling me what I already know (it's my fault this happened). I'm looking for SUPPORT.

amy1612

I really didn't want to reply to the negative guy, but it was a matter of three months. It was not a long period of time. I have a severe weight problem and even a few months of not working out and eating high calorie foods piles weight back on.

I find your tone critical and condescending and I don't need that kind of negativity around me right now.

If you ask for advice you have to sometimes be willing to take some harsh reality or criticism. The tone he used wasn't condescending or mean, just honest.
I think it speaks more to your current state of mind that you took it to be a very negative comment. If you create a thread speaking about frustration at 'messing up' not everyone is going to tell you that its all sunshine. Take the good comments, and the harsh comments all with the same pinch of salt. Get back up on the horse and continue to look after yourself and keep moving forward. Youve acknowledged that you want to change, so youre already on your way.

What I mean is that I don't need someone telling me what I already know (it's my fault this happened). I'm looking for SUPPORT.

My point is is that IS support...its someone telling you that yeah, you messed up, but its ok as people do and the best thing to do is just take responsibility and move on.

What you actually need is not just the support of others, its the support of yourself. Theres nothing wrong with having people to cheer you on, but the most important thing is that you stop beating yourself up and hating your body because thats not going to help you. You need to heal yourself from the inside out, weight is just a number on the scale. It doesnt define you as a person, or take away from any of your accomplishments. I recommend checking out gokaleo.com to try and help your journey out of the binge eating and self hating rabbit hole as it sounds like you have a lot pinned on not being overweight. :flowerforyou:

Jlennhikes

Choosing your mindset has a lot to do with it. If you decide to view yourself as unable to control it, you will not control it. But the truth is that you are very capable of changing your life. You just have to want it more than the comfort of overeating and a lazy lifestyle.

Feed your good attitude and starve your bad attitude.

The good thing about doing what you know is best for you is you can start feeling better right away because you get rid of the guilt and you also get a nice endorphin rush from exercise.

Jillian130

Its up to you to say enough is enough. If you're tired of being sick and tired, then only you can do something about it. You lost the weight, so we know you can do it, the problem is is that you got comfortable again and didn't maintain.
Think of it this way. If it was hard enough to lose the weight the first time, why would you want to go through all that again and do it a second time? Sometimes we end up with more weight to lose the second time around. Look deep inside yourself and find the real reason why you want to lose the weight. Is it to be healthy and live a long life? Are you beginning to see medical issues on the horizon? Are you tired of feeling depressed about the way you look?
The changes have to begin with you. You can read about it all you want, hope for it, wish for it, but in the end it all comes down to the work, the sweat and the determination you put into it. Once you lose the weight, maintain it. Fight for it. You are worth it to be the best that you can be, the healthiest that you can be. Find all the tools that work for you, whether its motivational pictures, logging, or support group. Take baby steps every day towards your goal(s). Achieve your goals in small increments so that you can see progress along the way instead of looking at the "big picture".
You can do this. I KNOW you can. You've proved it to yourself you can. Start today, start now. make your next choice a healthy positive choice in the right direction.

QuietBloom

I think it is worth mentioning, that it is very doubtful that you have a faulty metabolism. Many people who struggle with their weight assume that this must be the case, but that hasn't been born out in actual research. A faulty metabolism is actually a very rare thing, it turns out. So that makes it pretty simple: calories in less than calories out. Repeat until desired result is reached.

Think about the weight you lost that has STAYED gone, and just start logging again. Exercise will help you feel better about yourself and also assist in preserving lean body mass.

You got this. :flowerforyou:

disneymom94

You are NOT a failure! I feel defeated sometimes. Now is one of those times for me too. I have put back on weight that I lost before but I am determined to to make this work. It is not about excuses but about one step at a time and finding a way to change old habits! You can do this!

WannabeSC

Adopt a new form of life that includes the healthy eating and exercise, so that it is not a diet that you stop and everything returns to how it was. Find a form of exercise that you love and won't want to give up, sign up for races, set goals, take hiking vacations just find what moves you and makes you happy and replaces the food addiction. You will find that you make a new social group within that activity and everyone there is eating and active like you, so it is much harder to deviate to your old ways. Go find your passion, food obviously is not making you happy so look somewhere else.

TXSweety09

Don't beat yourself up. My weight has been up and down for years so recently decided enough was enough and have stuck with it to date. I have bad days (we ALL have) but remember tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning. Don't dwell on the past, but focus on the future and how healthy you will be once you get to your goal weight!

Another tip that has worked for me was not thinking about the goal weight rather small goals. When I started my weight loss journey I needed to lose 200 lbs.... and thinking of 200 all the time was overwhelming (I'll never get to -200 lbs was the biggest thought) so I don't focus on my goal weight, I make small goals (10 lbs at a time) and in 5 months have lost 51 lbs so now I am focusing on that -60, for me that really helps.

You can do this, You are worth it!!! Good luck and God Bless!!!

californiabella

I agree with all the other posts that are basically telling you the same thing:

we're human, we all make mistakes, pick yourself up and move on. It might sound condescending and unsupportive, but at the same time... it's not. It's just the truth.

You can't expect everyone to coddle you and tell you everything you want to hear. *You* need to start telling yourself the things you want to hear so you can *be* the person you want to be.

you can achieve anything you set your mind to believe... so don't set yourself up for failure. Remind yourself everyday that you are in control of your life. Accept the things you cannot control. Fortunately for most people, diet and exercise are two things we fully control. Isn't that wonderful?!

idontlikebeingoverweight

I think it is worth mentioning, that it is very doubtful that you have a faulty metabolism. Many people who struggle with their weight assume that this must be the case, but that hasn't been born out in actual research. A faulty metabolism is actually a very rare thing, it turns out. So that makes it pretty simple: calories in less than calories out. Repeat until desired result is reached.

Think about the weight you lost that has STAYED gone, and just start logging again. Exercise will help you feel better about yourself and also assist in preserving lean body mass.

You got this. :flowerforyou:

I would believe that, except there are people who would do what I did, and come out with just a few pounds gained. There are people who are prone, genetically, to pile weight on, and I am one of them. My three siblings eat basically whatever they want and have never been fat, so...I do think there's a difference there. Calories seem to be different for everyone.

I'm not making excuses, I'm just saying. It's so frustrating that a three month lapse would equal a 10 pound weight gain for every month. I do feel very let down right now.

I bought a scale that measures body fat and it said my body fat was a shocking 40%. It was 47% when I was at my fattest. I just can't believe this happened. It was down to 28% when I was at my healthiest. I was so close to my goal, 25%.

I am still struggling to work out. I'm glad that I've been taking short walks, but now with winter it's hard to work out outside and right now I don't have money for a gym. I really envy people with home gyms.