Very frustrated and upset.

debress

I've been there. I lost 25 pounds, put on 30, then 10 more. Might not sound like much, but I'm pretty short, so it actually had some pretty bad health effects for me. I felt hopeless. Then I started making better choices, one meal at a time. I had the help and support of a group of friends who were trying to do the same. It made a huge difference. It's great that you are here asking for support.

Every day is a new chance. Every hour is a new chance to start over with better choices. Had a lousy breakfast? Commit to eating a better lunch. Beating yourself up for something already done is living in the past. It's done. Can't do anything about it (purging is not an option). Live in the present. Better choices are a gift you can give yourself every day. You deserve the very best for you.

Fitformeandson

I know how you feel and sure many others feel the same way. You lose the weight and know better what will happen if you continue down the same track but, things get in the way... activities, work, possibly children's activities and then you suddenly have no time for yourself. I know, because it happened to me and I am dealing with the consequences now.

A little over 2 years ago I lost 35 pounds and was down to 201 pounds on my way to ultimate goal of 190 and first a hamstring pull happened, then came the holidays, then came son activities and now I am 5 pounds more than where I started before. It sucks but, I know deep sown I won't let it happen again.

Hang in there-- realizing the issue is first major step.

Dave

SherryIsRunner5

I have gained back about 20 lbs I lost, and it is VERY frustrating! Get back to it, and this time stick to your healthy changes!! We've all been there-you are worth the effort!!

kmclamb13

Don't look at yourself as a failure.I always tell myself "you can not fail if you never give up." You are not the only one that has lost and gained it back I'm 51 and i have done this all my life.I have finally got a hold on this and I know you have to look within to figure out why you sabotage your hard work.Just don't give up you are worth all the hard work and you deserve a happy life.

SlimJanette

sorry: tough love ahead

it really doesn't help to loathe in self-pity... especially over something you are capable of changing like your eating habits/diet. If your overeating is out of control, then maybe you need to seek counseling regarding the underlying reasons why that is. Otherwise, you ARE capable of change and YOU can be the change you want to see in your body. Normally, I'd tell someone you can't change the past (regarding the weight you've gained back), but in this case: you can lose the weight again. Don't fret CHIA PET!!

I agree with this.

Amiskron

Well. Its not the end,its the begining, I remember my motto for quiting smoking."Its easy to quit...I've done hundreds of times" but the last time was the hardest and lasted the longest...same as diets..it has to be a complete change in your life style. You can do it!! But only YOU have to make it your last...regards..and best of luck!

AliceRoseHooperAC

hey - we all feel like this sometimes.

Maybe losing weight is only a battle in the war - you know what I mean? Perhaps expressing yourself to your family members in order to gain some morale will do wonders. There are a lot of emotional issues attached to weight gain/loss, so make sure you sort them out first or you'll never get over it.

As with the diet, please don't worry about it. You've gained weight, okay....you have to accept it and battle it off again. I don't mean to preach, i know that you'll be very upset right now, but it's not like you've lost a leg or an arm! This can be rectified! :drinker:

The great thing about putting weight on is that you can ALWAYS lose it again. Bare this in mind when you feel that you'll never win the battle against the bulge.

all the best x

Mischievous_Rascal

You sound like you're where I was a few years ago. You just need to look in the mirror and tell yourself you're worth the time and effort it's going to take to do it right this time around. Over and over and over and over again until you believe it. Once you do, there will be no stopping you!! You've proven before that you can do it, you just have to start again and be nice to yourself, even on days when you don't feel like it.

Eleonora91

If you lost so much weight, you can do it again! Yes, you gained, but there's still some loss, and at least you now know what to do to succeed. I would try to relax and understand the reasons that led you to gain those weight back, because, trust me, this doesn't happen to anybody, so you can do it mainteinance isn't easy but not impossible. You just need to start again with a new strenght.

Poofy_Goodness

Even if I conquer the weight problem again, it will sneak up on me and I'll be fat again.

This negative, defeatist attitude will lead you to nothing but failure. This is the first thing you must change. If you can't believe that you can do it and maintain it, you simply won't be able to. You must have faith in your ability to learn and grow. It's not just about weightloss; we often have to change the way we operate on the most basic levels to make our lives what we want them to be. It starts with the way you think.

You did it before. You have the tools you need for success. Now you have to identify what made you slip up. It isn't over yet.

I also suspect that I may suffer from a moderate case of compulsive overeating.

And here you have identified something that needs work. Look into it further. Be mindful of the situations that lead to you over eating. Find ways to combat them.

If you eat out of boredom, find something to do that is stimulating-- get out of the house, away from food.
If you eat out of emotional distress, start journalling or call a friend.
If you are the type of person who must clean their plate, serve yourself smaller portions so that you get the mental satisfaction of clearing your plate without the over eating. If you're at a restaurant, split entrees or have a salad and an appetizer, or take half your food to go, or push your plate away when you feel satisfied, and cover it with a napkin.


Do not despair. Do not give up.

jellybean482004

I too understand where you are. I have done this journey for the umpteenth time. This time tho will be the last time. I've known since I started that it was a lifestyle change that needed to occur but this time it hit me that it really is true. I lost 55 lbs/77lbs /50lbs each time and with life , work, raising a family....talk about feeling hopeless. Before I found MFP, I called a weight loss centre in tears and cried desperation that I needed help getting back on track. On the scale the next day I was 40 lbs heavier than when I weighed when I had lost the 77 lbs. The nutritionist said to me.."..you know Ange, this time maybe you'll realize it truly is a life-style change" But somehow that gave me the determination and "kick in the pants| that I needed to get started again and that's when few weeks later I found MFP.

Some Inspirational quotes that I find have helped :

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
-Winston Churchill

The only real failure is the failure to try.
-Joan Benoit

Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.
-Conrad Hilton

You've made the hardest step , the realization of the need to get back on track. A "bad" meal doesn't ruin a day, a "bad" day doesn't ruin a week. One baby step at a time. The important thing to remember is "never give up"on yourself!!

Feel free to add me if you like. Welcome aboard!!

StrongWoman13

I am in the same boat. Just trying to take care of myself one hour at a time. If I think that tomorrow is another day and may blow off the rest of the day. If I know that I can start over any time of the day, I don't beat myself up as much or as often.

jellybean482004

Just found this letter that I had in my" motivation folder" hope it helps.......

Motivational Letters

Are you Eating Compulsively or are you Really Hungry?
Food
Friday November 01, 2013


I vividly remember a lecture given to us by an expert on weight management. She herself had tried many, many ‘diets’ only to fail at each one. It was only when she learned the ‘art’ of eating according to true stomach hunger and not respond to the sight, smell or situations surrounding food, that her weight came under control.

For those of you who are struggling or feeling guilty because you aren’t sure how much you should eat, or you are feeling guilty because you perceive that you have eaten too much, it might be worth a try at trying to respond to true stomach hunger.

Simple as it may sound, the question “Am I hungry?” can be a profound one. Many of us tend to eat when true hunger is the last thing we’re feeling. A lot of us reach adulthood without being able to identify the feeling of stomach hunger or if we can, the signal is very dim.
The whole notion of eating in response to stomach hunger is so alien that we might be shocked to hear another person turn down the offer of a meal with “Thanks, but I’m not hungry right now.”

Try making a conscious effort to tune into your hunger. If we continue eating in response to emotional or “head” hunger, the ability to identify stomach hunger signals will wane. Your stomach is unable to tell you that it’s hungry if you’ve just filled it to deal with some other feeling. The more you look forward to the experience of stomach hunger, however, the more apt you are to find it.

Some people are genuinely frightened by the idea of stomach hunger. This may be because they cannot feel hungry without recalling all the other emotions that accompanied hunger in their memories. Others may feel that if they allow themselves to feel hunger, they may eat uncontrollably.

Learning to eat from stomach hunger after many years of eating from head hunger is not simply a change of habit, nor is it a mere reconditioning of your eating behaviour. Each time you feed yourself out of stomach hunger, you are demonstrating your ability to respond to your needs and fuel your body properly. Think of it this way: As you become more in tune with yourself, you will feel more secure. As you practice this, you become very self-aware and much more unlikely to be sabotaged at unexpected exposure to food. Thus, your mind will learn to respond to, “Am I really hungry?” versus “Oh, there is some food, I want to eat it.”

Now, this all may sound easy, but what is true ‘stomach hunger’? To me, it is a physical, slightly “empty” feeling in the stomach. It is not about feeling ravenous or shaky; it is about recognizing your body’s signal for fuel. It does not take much food to settle a truly “hungry” stomach. Protein and good fats will satisfy this physical hunger more efficiently and for a longer period of time than easily-digestible starches. The art of learning to eat smaller quantities of nutritionally-dense food to satisfy true hunger is what we want to learn to do.

I’m not sure when the shift in our society occurred for the need to respond to super sized foods or excessive portions. There is no question; we have lost the ability to know what a true portion is. Other than measuring and weighing, one way to always be in control is to eat when you are hungry, but stop when you are satisfied. Eat slowly, because that feeling of satisfaction is delayed. Also eat foods that won’t spike your blood sugar and will keep you full longer.

So, try the art of paying attention to the stomach’s signals (instead eyes, nose, time of day, stress levels, tiredness, etc.). If the stomach is asking for fuel, then eat. If not, wait, because you are not in need of food. If you are feeling tense and simply want to fulfill that oral gratification of putting something on your lips or tongue, have some something to drink like water, tea, or coffee.

None of this is easy, but if you practice you will feel in control because you will now be eating according to your needs, yet not overeating based on portions determined by someone else.

Keep trying different techniques. Find out what works for you. It’s not easy, so never, ever give up on yourself.

Dr Doug

idontlikebeingoverweight

Thank you so much, everyone. I'm looking forward to starting my journey again.

andreahanlon

I cycled weight a lot since I was about 10 years old and something that really helped me was learning behavior modification. I first learned it when I was hired to work in -- get this -- drug rehabilitation! Once you look at the way some folks deal with drugs, I noticed similar patterns in myself (for example, high levels of relapse and the expectation that several attempts are usually required before seeing success). After teaching behavior modification for people to quit smoking, I realized that these same behaviors could help me in losing weight. Examples include: setting your environment up for success, writing out a plan (what/when you will do things), bringing on a support system for encouragement and accountability, envisioning success when in a tempting situation, reinforcing new healthy behaviors to replace old ones, waiting out a craving for 3-5 minutes before taking action, substituting a craving with something beneficial (for example, sweet tasting flavored water or diet hot chocolate instead of a king size candy bar) etc. I also joined Weight Watchers during this time and found that they teach the same type of principles. In 3 months in 2009, I lost 25 pounds and through using behavior modification, I have been able to maintain that weight. Since you self-identify as struggling with a compulsive behavior (which is how I also self-identified), I would recommend learning more about behavior modification techniques through self-study or even better, joining a group that could help (like weight watchers or a similar outfit) since compulsive-type behaviors are usually very difficult to handle on your own.

Hang in there and keep trying. I always think that everything I do toward the good today is a positive step. Forget yesterday and start clean today toward a healthier future.

amy1612

I really didn't want to reply to the negative guy, but it was a matter of three months. It was not a long period of time. I have a severe weight problem and even a few months of not working out and eating high calorie foods piles weight back on.

I find your tone critical and condescending and I don't need that kind of negativity around me right now.

If you ask for advice you have to sometimes be willing to take some harsh reality or criticism. The tone he used wasn't condescending or mean, just honest.
I think it speaks more to your current state of mind that you took it to be a very negative comment. If you create a thread speaking about frustration at 'messing up' not everyone is going to tell you that its all sunshine. Take the good comments, and the harsh comments all with the same pinch of salt. Get back up on the horse and continue to look after yourself and keep moving forward. Youve acknowledged that you want to change, so youre already on your way.

samilexi38

Its like riding a bike if you fall of get back on. Its not going to be easy but you can do it.

scottyg70

I didn't take the time to read every reply to your post, so I apologize if I'm re-hashing anything.

First off, like at least one person said: self-loathing will get you nowhere. Most of this "battle" is mentality. If you go in expecting to fail or are beating yourself up for failing, then you'll most definitely fail.

Second, I hate the term "journey". While you are trying to go somewhere, what happens once you are there? Look at this as a permanent lifestyle change. Develop good habits, both in excercise and diet and make them permanent changes. Screw the fad diets, the magic pills and other gimmicks. How and what you eat is going to make the difference.

Finally, everyone hits a pothole in the road once in awhile. I have lost weight, gained it back and then lost it again. Don't dwell on it. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Good luck!

karlsantiago

I feel that MOST people have these times in their lives when things happen and it is just way easier to get off the grind everyday and skip the daily routine. I know I have been through that plenty of times in the past.

The only thing I can say is that being healthy and doing everything that it involves cannot just be a temporary phase in life. It has to be a lifestyle and it has to be something that you LOVE TO DO. Be passionate about it, I mean you only get one body in life and it needs to be taken care of just as anything. That said, when tough times come, try using those as motivators to get you up early in the morning and in the gym. When you get the sudden urge to eat (when it is not time to) give yourself distractions. I'll give you an example; when there's something troubling me and I have a lot on my mind that I just want to go away, I get down on the floor and do push ups UNTIL I FORGET. Best believe that I not only built up a pretty nice chest through the past months, it made me mentally stronger. Train your mind and you will have complete control over your body. Do what ever it takes to get yourself to LOVE working out and eating healthy--brain wash yourself, say it to yourself every morning, have a lifestyle epiphany, whatever it takes. But make sure whatever it is you do, you do it in the healthiest possible, and trust me you will never have to convince yourself again that you love it. The results will keep you motivated.

bottom line.
SOUND MIND = SOUND BODY = EVERYONE HAPPY

ames105

I'm a bit older than you and, unfortunately, I have done the weight loss & gain back thing many many times. This is an uphill battle, something I will struggle with for the rest of my life. I have been where you are, very frustrated and upset with myself and I found comfort in food...how ironic!

The only thing I can suggest, the only way out of it, is to shake yourself off, pick yourself up and move forward again. Focus on a lifestyle change because this has to be 'for life' or the weight will always come back. You can do this, Good luck!