What would push you to divorce?

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  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    I wouldn't stay married to someone who had a bad temper. People have a right to be awful, but they don't get to do it to me too often.
  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,655 Member
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    Being married would tip me over the edge.
    This.
  • Nierikah
    Nierikah Posts: 22 Member
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    OP, so you don't want to know what would push other people to divorce, you wanted to know if your husband is a douche. I'd lead with the primary reason instead of the red herring in the future.

    This. I couldn't agree with this enough.

    For the record, I'm a lady who loves her video games, I worked for a video game developer for years and as such I've seen people who balance their game hobby and real life fantastically (I'm in this camp) and I've seen friends/coworkers who destroy their marriages and relationships having the addiction.

    Sorry, I just have to say.. ITS NOT THE GAME its the ADDICTION.

    Phew. Now that I have that out of my system...

    STOP WHINING.

    In more than one post you list what a ****ty husband he is, how he's neglectful of you, neglectful of your daughter, yadda yadda, and then tie it all up with: "Gee? Maybe its my fault?"

    He's addicted. He needs help. He's being a terrible husband and a worse father. No you cannot help people who do not help themselves.

    Accept it, pull up your big girl panties, and move on. Its sad that he's brought this on your family, but you deserve it if you keep whining about it and don't do anything to change your situation. If he won't help himself and that takes divorce to do so, then do it.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
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    A lot of people, from what I've seen, would automatically divorce because of a cheating spouse. Understandable, but what other things would you "call quits" for?

    TMJ. No third input.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
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    For the record, I'm a lady who loves her video games, I worked for a video game developer for years and as such I've seen people who balance their game hobby and real life fantastically (I'm in this camp) and I've seen friends/coworkers who destroy their marriages and relationships having the addiction.

    What have you worked on?
  • redladywitch
    redladywitch Posts: 799 Member
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    Abuse of you or children.
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
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    **** it, I'm in
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
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    Squats and deadlifts.
  • togmo
    togmo Posts: 257
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    What about selfishness, addiction to videos games and lack of emotion or communication? One who will have his mother watch his one year old daughter so he can play his video game first thing when he gets home till he falls asleep.. doesn't pick up after himself. Takes his wife for granted working a full time job, coming home to be mommy and house wife at the same time? One who can't buy a simple card for his wife on her birth day when the month before his wife bought him a 800$ tool he isn't using because of a video game. One who snaps at his wife for tryin to go to bed for work in the am, asking to get off the game. So his wife sleeps in another room. One who say he knows he has things to work on but does nothing? One who is 30 years old and has do much potential but choses to throw it away? Or a spouse that has had good conversations with you on positive Change who doesn't even bother to nag anymore?

    I'm just curious... would this be a cause or am I the selfish one?

    That would definitely do it for me! And you are not alone in this situation. I know other young wives facing the same crap. Way past time for him to grow up.

    I thought 30 was a bit old to be still growing up..

    I don't think there is anything wrong with playing video games on occasion at any age, I have more problems actually with little kids, hunched over in front of an ipad instead of out running around though than I do with a 30 year old man taking a night off. In your case though he is clearly unhappy with his life and you really do need to free him and yourself from the miserable existence he wants to lead. If the relationship is important to you and you have hope then ask him to seek help. He works all day, comes home to a screaming wife and kid who it seems he wants to ignore and chooses to close himself off by playing video games. Every man has been there from time to time, we all have those sorts of days. I have certainly come home and done nothing but play video games and not wanted to acknowledge my wife (no fault of hers though). This only happens on the odd day here and there though, if he is doing this all the time he is depressed and needs help. I am sure the game he is addicted to is WOW and I used to play that and had to give it up because it did take over my life a little and my wife was clearly unhappy with the depth of my involvement in that game, it is addictive and it does require a lot of your time if you want to stay at the top of your game. I gave it up not so much because I was on the computer all the time but that when I was on it I was in a larger group and didn't have time to just take a second off to give her a good night kiss or respond to her when she engaged me in conversation. My solution was simply to find less engaging games that have a pause function.

    Most nights my wife and I will sit in the same room on our computers, barely acknowledging that the other one is there, me on a video game and her on Facebook or some forum somewhere. I think she is now more addicted to the computer than me and I fear it is only getting worst for her whereas I tend to go through stages where I am into a game or not and I think I want to do more whereas she is more inclined to want to spend the night in, on the computer. We both play on the computer most nights but we still manage to keep full time jobs and cook and clean and I also have time to acknowledge my wife every so often. Whether she is too deeply engaged on her computer or not to realised I have acknowledged her I am not always sure though...
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
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    TOPIC: What would push you to divorce?

    If she posted a thread at MFP about what a lazy *kitten* I was.
  • togmo
    togmo Posts: 257
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    TOPIC: What would push you to divorce?

    If she posted a thread at MFP about what a lazy *kitten* I was.

    Certainly wouldn't help but we all need to vent our frustrations somewhere.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
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    I thought 30 was a bit old to be still growing up..

    Funny thing that, the bulk of the gaming demographic is male and female (not even, but getting there) mid 30s. (In casual gaming, PC, and console gaming.)

    What's this about growing up? When wanting to neg the industry, remember the following:
    1. Bigger revenue than hollywood.
    2. Moves technology, so you can have Anchorman in 1080p
    3. Employs some of the smartest people in technology
    4. Brings enjoyment, escapism, and happiness to people which enriches their lives

    If only more workers or people were able to enrich the lives of others.
  • soldiergrl_101
    soldiergrl_101 Posts: 2,206 Member
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    I am going through a divorce right now because my husband lies about absolutely everything to the point where i cant believe a single word that comes out of his mouth. He is also really bad with money
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    Squats and deadlifts.

    Don't forget hip thrusts. Those are good for the booty too. This is a thread about how to get a great booty, right?
  • StormyGal8
    StormyGal8 Posts: 184 Member
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    He is not the person I married.

    If he is not the person you married, then what else has changed? Disinvolvement could be a sign of depression. As could living in a "fantasy" world.
  • mcibty
    mcibty Posts: 1,252 Member
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    My partner actually says she 'probably' wouldn't leave me if I cheated. Can't say I'd be so understanding if it were the other way around.

    It'd have to be pretty big to go through with a divorce, but I think the overriding factor would be that I didn't have the same love in me to forgive the little things any more.
  • da1128
    da1128 Posts: 212 Member
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    Abuse, both physical and emotional.
    Pathological lying.
    Drinking to excess and becoming a 'mean drunk.'
    Being controlling and expecting me to be subservient. That's a "hit the road, asshat!" situation.
    Doing drugs.
    All of the other nasty stuff mentioned in this thread.
  • MJC360
    MJC360 Posts: 368
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    Realizing that I'm married to the spawn of satan, and everyday of my life is literally worse than the day before because of her... Yep, that did it for me.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    Well, we've been together for 23 years and have been through some things that would be deal breakers for other couples, so mine is rather simple. Cheating would be the one thing that would push me to get divorced. To me, that is the ultimate betrayal, plus I don't share. Fortunately, neither one of us are cheaters.
  • daveymac1
    daveymac1 Posts: 784 Member
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    If she had worse protein farts than me,

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