What to eat when you are invited for dinner

tamadrummer001

Eat the food available. Unless you are eating out every meal of the day and just living a terrible diet, what the big deal about eating a meal out with your friends/family? You will not gain weight from eating one meal out. Yeah there may be extra sodium so added water retention but that is temporary. Who cares?

Your friends and family aren't dieting like you and most don't care. They simply want to enjoy your company not your choice of dieting to get healthy. Go out and have fun then when you leave go back to eating what ever it is that you eat to keep yourself in a deficit.

Too many people read way way way too much into what 1 meal can do. It really can't do anything!!!! Its the compounding of thousands of crappy meals, and sitting on your @ss doing nothing but storing energy that you don't need!

Go have fun with out friends and be a human again!

TwinsRaGift

I still go out with people all the time. They get a little annoyed with me because of the way I order my food. However if they want me to come, then they just have to put up with it. I have yet to find a restaurant where I couldn't order a salad or some sort of healthy option. I order grilled chicken sandwhiches and ask them not to toast the bun with butter. I also ask for dressings on the side. There are a lot of ways you can go out...have fun...and still stay on plan.

tigersword

I don't believe in food shaming or heaping food into categories of good or bad... I eat alot of lean meat, veggies, fruits, and whole grains but I eat burgers, pizza, ice cream, just as often. If you are going out to eat you can always find some options that will fit your goals and eating at their places...... it is 1 or 2 meals in a weeks worth of eating, portion out an amount and enjoy it along with your friends. This approach has not cost me success in reaching my goals...... Best of Luck

This.

You have a very unhealthy relationship with food, based on this post. You might need to speak to a therapist about it.

andreahanlon

I try to find out where we are going beforehand and look up online what the healthiest options are. So if it's Olive Garden, I would get the apricot chicken dish with asparagus for under 400 calories. Or at Bob Evans, there is a salmon dish for under 400 calories. Most places have at least one or two dishes that are reasonable and at many restaurants you can ask for nutritional information when ordering. You could also suggest somewhere with a salad bar and choose low calorie foods from there.

Arbeidslyst

So this is an issue I come across at least two times a week: eating with others. I get invited or go out for dinner or lunch and I just don't know how to say friendly: No thanks, I don't want to eat your crapy food. And by crapy I mean like french fries, burgers, pizza, ice cream, big three course dinners and so on, because that is what most of my friends like to eat. As it happens so often it really isn't an option to just forget about a healthy diet for once (once in a while a pizza is okay I think but then we're talking about once in a month or so). Are there any people experiencing the same problems? And what do you do? Does anyone have tips how to avoid making yourself a social outsider in terms of food and still stay with your own food choices?

Thanks a lot!

Why don't you invite your friends either home or to somewhere you do eat the food?

MaritzK

Guys, it's fine! I don't have an unhealthy relationship with food :P To me it's just common sense to eat what makes you feel good. When I eat pizza and a lot of wheat I get headaches and stomach pains, I don't really like it either. It's okay once in a while but not more than that. It's just dead food, no wonder it does make people feel bad. If anyone loves a pizza once a week and has no problems with it that is totally fine, it's just not who I am..

AlabasterVerve

If I'm invited into someones home I eat what's served -- trying to eat as little of the carbs as possible (I eat a fairly strict low carb diet) without making it obvious and offending my host. Restaurants are not a problem, order whatever fits your plan. In both cases I'd fast or eat less either before or after to even out the calories if I needed to.

It's really a non-issue for me since I eat out so infrequently but since it's a regular thing for you maybe look into intermittent fasting? Good luck.

http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2013/08/06/a-beginners-guide-to-intermittent-fasting/

firstsip

Guys, it's fine! I don't have an unhealthy relationship with food :P To me it's just common sense to eat what makes you feel good. When I eat pizza and a lot of wheat I get headaches and stomach pains, I don't really like it either. It's okay once in a while but not more than that. It's just dead food, no wonder it does make people feel bad. If anyone loves a pizza once a week and has no problems with it that is totally fine, it's just not who I am..

Not everyone likes things; that's understandable. I don't eat burgers or any red meat, personally, because of how sick I feel after.

But you *did* call it "crappy." That's a judgmental word; you came off as "holier than thou" in your first post, and often orthorexics will give highly negative words to foods so they don't eat them. Ex: I'm not going to eat pizza occasionally, because it's full of toxins. Even in this explanation, you still said it's "dead food; no wonder it makes people feel bad." Don't you see how that comes off? Hell, I'm lactose intolerant AND have those issues with red meat, and pizza has never given me those issues.

Add that to your profile saying you're thin (which you are), but want to lose TEN pounds to "feel better about myself" is all worrisome.

Just letting you know.

rml_16

Guys, it's fine! I don't have an unhealthy relationship with food :P To me it's just common sense to eat what makes you feel good. When I eat pizza and a lot of wheat I get headaches and stomach pains, I don't really like it either. It's okay once in a while but not more than that. It's just dead food, no wonder it does make people feel bad. If anyone loves a pizza once a week and has no problems with it that is totally fine, it's just not who I am..

So don't eat those things.

I really don't get the problem here.

WendyTerry420

Guys, it's fine! I don't have an unhealthy relationship with food :P To me it's just common sense to eat what makes you feel good. When I eat pizza and a lot of wheat I get headaches and stomach pains, I don't really like it either. It's okay once in a while but not more than that. It's just dead food, no wonder it does make people feel bad. If anyone loves a pizza once a week and has no problems with it that is totally fine, it's just not who I am..

Of course it's dead food. Who wants to eat live animals? If you have an intolerance that is legitimate, then your friends will be happy to accommodate. You listed a whole lot more than pizza in the OP. It sounds like an unhealthy relationship with food if it is interfering with your relationship with friends. People who are friends, however, are understanding of medical conditions. Medical conditions are completely different.

jr235

To anyone who is reading this, please don't be a snotty food guest. It really derails my opinions of people when they accept your hospitality and then go out of their way to be snobby. This includes verbal, but non verbal as well. Don't make faces, sigh, or otherwise be a jerk. If you do not like the food you can get around this by eating a smaller portion and complimenting the dishes or flowers or something. Food is a very personal thing and very subject to taste.

Or if you're really uncomfortable decline the invitation, or decline and suggest to go out someplace (even McDonalds has salads) at a later date.

Your hosts have a responsibility to be good hosts, but a guest has just as much if not MORE responsibility to be a good guest.

dumb_blondes_rock

If you are invited to someones house you can tell them a really good dish you like to make and ask if the would like you to bring it, most people wont mind, and if you are going out to a burger joint, get a side salad instead of fries and dont eat the buns. Pizza is tough, but see if there are low cal pizza options or a salad bar

BeachIron

So this is an issue I come across at least two times a week: eating with others. I get invited or go out for dinner or lunch and I just don't know how to say friendly: No thanks, I don't want to eat your crapy food. And by crapy I mean like french fries, burgers, pizza, ice cream, big three course dinners and so on, because that is what most of my friends like to eat. As it happens so often it really isn't an option to just forget about a healthy diet for once (once in a while a pizza is okay I think but then we're talking about once in a month or so). Are there any people experiencing the same problems? And what do you do? Does anyone have tips how to avoid making yourself a social outsider in terms of food and still stay with your own food choices?

Thanks a lot!

Stop being such a peach, and you'll stop getting invited. These things have a way of working themselves out.

I'm off for a burger and fries . . .

Edit: big thumbs = typos

stumblinthrulife

So this is an issue I come across at least two times a week: eating with others. I get invited or go out for dinner or lunch and I just don't know how to say friendly: No thanks, I don't want to eat your crapy food. And by crapy I mean like french fries, burgers, pizza, ice cream, big three course dinners and so on, because that is what most of my friends like to eat. As it happens so often it really isn't an option to just forget about a healthy diet for once (once in a while a pizza is okay I think but then we're talking about once in a month or so). Are there any people experiencing the same problems? And what do you do? Does anyone have tips how to avoid making yourself a social outsider in terms of food and still stay with your own food choices?

Thanks a lot!

Say what you honestly think and you won't have to worry about the invites anymore. You sound like a bundle of laughs.

Confuzzled4ever

I look at the menus (if possible) ahead of time and pick stuff out. I'll take smaller portions of foods that are not really in line with my diet goals. I will pass on some stuff and eat others. I am not afraid to eat only salad or order a salad or plain chicken in front of everyone. I have 2 pot lucks this week. This is how I plan to get around through them.

Guys, it's fine! I don't have an unhealthy relationship with food

but.. you called something crappy.. and you said you don't eat something because it's bad for you. Therefore you have an unhealthy relationship with food and might even have orthorexia.. Welcome to the forums!

Trying to work your diet choices around your social life is a challenge. I know how quickly I can get derailed and how hard it is to get back on track. I have the worst time this time of year staying on track. I guess it's a blessing in that department that I don't have a lot of friends here. lol.. but really it has less to do with the friends and more to do with my thoughts. Anyway, it's pretty normal to have people not eat this or that these days, for one reason or another. The pot luck i'm going to is going to be interesting. There are so many people on so many different diets that are attending. It'll be interesting to see who eats what. Some are for medical reasons, others are just because and none of us get shamed for our choices. The majority of that is an online phenomenon. Borders on cyber bullying really.

emmamaybear

Okay, wait, I think we might have a little miscommunication here. I know MaritzK (IRL) and have the same problem as her. What she means is not really about being 'invited to dinner'. We are both in a student society (don't know the right translation, we're Dutch, but it's kind of like a sorority) and eat with them twice a week. This is a situation when the people who feels like cooking, cook, and we all pay the bill together monthly. It's not really a matter of being impolite by refusing their food because we usually make it together (which means we also have a say in what's on the table, making it easier for both me and MaritzK, however we don't always have time to cook with them etc).

Also, to all the people saying she needs counseling: I understand you are trying to help, but don't you think that's a little quick to judge on your side? How much can you know of a person just by what they say in a forum post and on their profile?

stumblinthrulife

Okay, wait, I think we might have a little miscommunication here. I know MaritzK (IRL) and have the same problem as her. What she means is not really about being 'invited to dinner'. We are both in a student society (don't know the right translation, we're Dutch, but it's kind of like a sorority) and eat with them twice a week. This is a situation when the people who feels like cooking, cook, and we all pay the bill together monthly. It's not really a matter of being impolite by refusing their food because we usually make it together (which means we also have a say in what's on the table, making it easier for both me and MaritzK, however we don't always have time to cook with them etc).

Also, to all the people saying she needs counseling: I understand you are trying to help, but don't you think that's a little quick to judge on your side? How much can you know of a person just by what they say in a forum post and on their profile?

I don't think she needs counseling, I think she just needs to stop being rude about other people's food choices.

mcibty

personally i try to shoe horn as much 'crapy' food and as many big three course dinners as is humanly possible into each week while hitting my macros and my calorie goal IIFYM stylee... but thats just me...

Lol, this. And it means you're also not rude to anyone.

If someone has busted a gut to prepare you a three course meal at their home, then eat it and thank them. If they just want burgers and pizza, then there's no effort there and you can tell them you'll eat beforehand or you can bring something.

Marcia315

I eat whatever my friends have, just less of it.

firstsip

Okay, wait, I think we might have a little miscommunication here. I know MaritzK (IRL) and have the same problem as her. What she means is not really about being 'invited to dinner'. We are both in a student society (don't know the right translation, we're Dutch, but it's kind of like a sorority) and eat with them twice a week. This is a situation when the people who feels like cooking, cook, and we all pay the bill together monthly. It's not really a matter of being impolite by refusing their food because we usually make it together (which means we also have a say in what's on the table, making it easier for both me and MaritzK, however we don't always have time to cook with them etc).

Also, to all the people saying she needs counseling: I understand you are trying to help, but don't you think that's a little quick to judge on your side? How much can you know of a person just by what they say in a forum post and on their profile?

"I need to lose 10 lbs because I don't feel good about myself. Also, I know I'm already thin but..."
"I think what other people eat is crappy..."

Many of us have been on the forums for awhile. And I've been around many people with EDs in my decade of recovery from one, so... if self-esteem and projection is an issue, I think the mental issues should be handled before worrying about a weekly dinner.

However, if you all do this communally and have a say at what's on the table, why is not preparing your own dish (with enough to share) not good enough? Is it a money issue, then?