I'm a Chauvinist?

BigDougie1211

I think it goes the other way to. Last night I was leaving a restaurant and held the door for 2 women so they could enter. Both were so wrapped up in their conversation that neither one said Thank you. This happens a lot and makes me wonder why I'm being nice and holding the door for people that are unappreciative.

This is one of the most infuriating things. Holding the door for somone isn't a big deal, but if I'm displaying common courtesy towards someone, it's nice if it's reciprocal.

Here's rude for ya.
A few weeks ago I was on my way into the staff canteen in work for lasagne for lunch. It's a self service / buffet type deal. I held the door open for 2 women and let them in ahead of me. They didn't acknowledge it.
BUT
It was quite late in lunch hour and there were only 4 pieces of lasagne left... there were 3 of us in the queue.
They took 2 pieces each.
Left me with none.
Befoe anyone comes up with some ridiculously circuitous state of affairs whereby they had pre-aranged to get extra lasagne for their starving familes / donate it to charity / thought there was a fresh batch coming etc - this is not the case.
They knew I was there for the same thing they were, they knew thee was no more to come and they cleaned it out.

diannethegeek

It's bad manners because she had her hands full, not because she's a woman. If it were a man with his hands full I would expect someone to hold the door open as well.

I'm a woman (and a feminist) and I will always hold the door open for someone behind me. It only gets awkward when the man refuses to go through the door I'm holding open and insists on switching places with me.

dbmata

I am so offended! Stop making sense and good rational points

Wanna hug it out?

Myhaloslipped

I think it goes the other way to. Last night I was leaving a restaurant and held the door for 2 women so they could enter. Both were so wrapped up in their conversation that neither one said Thank you. This happens a lot and makes me wonder why I'm being nice and holding the door for people that are unappreciative.

I find it funny when I hold the door for a couple of people, but then it turns into a chain, and I end up holding the door for 6 other people coming in behind them. At that point, I am thinking this has to stop somewhere. :laugh:

BossBich

Who left the gait open ?????? !!!!!!!

DeadliftAddict

Last night my wife travelled about 80 miles to help my daughter pack up her apartment in preparation for moving. As my wife was walking up the walkway to the apartment building, a College student (male) walked ahead of her, opened the door, entered, and let it shut on my wife. My wife had a vacuum cleaner in one hand and a carpet cleaner in the other.

I know the kid didn't do anything wrong, but, when my wife called last night and told me, it plssed me off.

What happened to manners? Opening doors for other people? Giving up your seat to a woman or an older person? Standing when a woman enters the room?

These are just common courtesies that we were raised to practice. Does showing courtesy and/or deference make me a Chauvinist?

One thing that I have noticed over tha last few years is that when I open a door for someone and let them enter ahead of me, they are surprised. Is it that uncommon now?

I'm a little dissappointed. People are so self-involved. Half the younger people I see these days have ear buds in and are looking down at their cell phone, texting. They don't even know what is going on around them. But, I guess, I prefer to thing that they are unaware than intentionally rude.

It's not these college kids' fault that they are being oblivious to common courtesy. It's their parents' fault for not raising better citizens. I have a 12 and 16 year old, they've been taught to hold doors open, to say please and thank you, to make eye contact, to shake a hand with a firm grip, and to generally do to others as they'd have done unto them.

I feel that with each passing generation, we lose a little bit more of our humanity.

I'll drink to that!

aakaakaak

Who left the gait open ?????? !!!!!!!

Did you intentionally spell it gait to mean the way someone walks? I'm curious as to the context.

bigphatcat

I think it goes the other way to. Last night I was leaving a restaurant and held the door for 2 women so they could enter. Both were so wrapped up in their conversation that neither one said Thank you. This happens a lot and makes me wonder why I'm being nice and holding the door for people that are unappreciative.

This is one of the most infuriating things. Holding the door for somone isn't a big deal, but if I'm displaying common courtesy towards someone, it's nice if it's reciprocal.

Here's rude for ya.
A few weeks ago I was on my way into the staff canteen in work for lasagne for lunch. It's a self service / buffet type deal. I held the door open for 2 women and let them in ahead of me. They didn't acknowledge it.
BUT
It was quite late in lunch hour and there were only 4 pieces of lasagne left... there were 3 of us in the queue.
They took 2 pieces each.
Left me with none.
Befoe anyone comes up with some ridiculously circuitous state of affairs whereby they had pre-aranged to get extra lasagne for their starving familes / donate it to charity / thought there was a fresh batch coming etc - this is not the case.
They knew I was there for the same thing they were, they knew thee was no more to come and they cleaned it out.

No good deed goes unpunished

Cindy311

I'm a door holder no matter the sex and if I get a thank you that's nice and if I don't well then I still did the right thing. Yesterday as I was walking to a door an elderly gentleman saw me coming and rushed to the door just to open it. I'm sorry, I was completely flattered by his actions and when I tried to hold the second door for him he ushered me through that one as well.

rml_16

One of many reasons I moved back to the South.

I grew up in the Northeast and people held doors for each other. :grumble:

I find that most people (not all) will hold the door. But what annoys me is when I hold a door for someone (sometimes even stopping and waiting) and can't even get a "thanks" out of them.

dbmata

One of many reasons I moved back to the South.

I grew up in the Northeast and people held doors for each other. :grumble:

I find that most people (not all) will hold the door. But what annoys me is when I hold a door for someone (sometimes even stopping and waiting) and can't even get a "thanks" out of them.

Sounds like you didn't grow up in the Boston area then, because in 4 years there, I saw NONE of that except from tourists and transplants.

dbmata

I think it goes the other way to. Last night I was leaving a restaurant and held the door for 2 women so they could enter. Both were so wrapped up in their conversation that neither one said Thank you. This happens a lot and makes me wonder why I'm being nice and holding the door for people that are unappreciative.

I find it funny when I hold the door for a couple of people, but then it turns into a chain, and I end up holding the door for 6 other people coming in behind them. At that point, I am thinking this has to stop somewhere. :laugh:

It would be hilarious if you picked someone out of the group and just said, ok, tag in!

JoRocka

Remove "woman" from just about every statement and it's not chauvinism, but common courtesy.

this.

anyone walking with their hands full and someone can't be bothered to help is a *kitten*.

I hold doors for people and I'm a woman- I appreciate when people hold doors for me- and I have no issue shooting a very sarcastic "thank for holding the door" to someone AFTER I get in the door by myself.

Otterluv

I'm a student, and around many young adults, I can tell you that there is much holding doors open for people going on here (though it has nothing to do with gender, maybe I'm missing something?). The young'uns are just as likely to be polite as the older people. However, nobody stands when I enter a room. That would be a bit off-putting for me. Lots of "oh, please, don't get up!", etc. instead of the normal greetings of griping about the weather.

rml_16

One of many reasons I moved back to the South.

I grew up in the Northeast and people held doors for each other. :grumble:

I find that most people (not all) will hold the door. But what annoys me is when I hold a door for someone (sometimes even stopping and waiting) and can't even get a "thanks" out of them.

Sounds like you didn't grow up in the Boston area then, because in 4 years there, I saw NONE of that except from tourists and transplants.

Upstae and western NY mostly. But I had family all over the place.

I spent a decent amount of time in Boston, but I couldn't tell you whether anyone ever held a door for me there.

vtmoon

I hold the door for anyone but that is just the way I was raised.

On a side note, I watched a lady berate the hell out of a kid this past week for holding the door open for her and gesturing to her to go ahead in front of him. After he kinda let the door close and was telling her he is sorry, as she opened the door for herself and was walking in, I smiled at him and told him he had nothing to be sorry for because some people in the world don't understand simple acts of kindness (made sure she heard me).

_SABOTEUR_

I open the door for both men and women.

In your wife's situation, I would have opened the door because she was carrying stuff. Her sex wouldn't have come into it.

I would give me seat up for an elderly person, but not for a woman. Unless she was pregnant.

Being a woman doesn't men you need or want men to do things for you.

In fact, I have a friend who would be pissed off if she thought a man was doing something out of courtesy just because she is a woman.

tempehforever

Eh, I'm not a fan of guys who open doors specifically for women only. Why not open doors for EVERYONE who seems in need of help?

If the kid had let the door shut on a guy with his hands full, would you still have been pissed? I think manners go both ways.

Also, it's nice to have the door opened for me, but I don't love it when guys go WAY out of their way to do so. Like if he has to wait a full 15 seconds for me to get to the door while he just stands there waiting for me. Its inefficient and sort of weird. Is it THAT big of a deal that I happen to be female? (Of course, I always say thank you, regardless.)

Again, its different if I'm carrying things or entering right behind someone--then it is nice. But that's because it's nice to be courteous to people in general, not because I'm female.

ItsMeGee3

I can only say that I appreciate it when someone holds the door for me. I have 3 (grown) sons, they had better hold the door for a woman. If not, "Momma's gonna get ugly."

dbmata

One of many reasons I moved back to the South.

I grew up in the Northeast and people held doors for each other. :grumble:

I find that most people (not all) will hold the door. But what annoys me is when I hold a door for someone (sometimes even stopping and waiting) and can't even get a "thanks" out of them.

Sounds like you didn't grow up in the Boston area then, because in 4 years there, I saw NONE of that except from tourists and transplants.

Upstae and western NY mostly. But I had family all over the place.

I spent a decent amount of time in Boston, but I couldn't tell you whether anyone ever held a door for me there.

Buffalo was an interesting place, which paired with Cooperstown is the sum of my experience with Upstate and western NY. Seems a completely different world from NYC and New England.