In need of advice: Stuck between 2 guys? Help...

24

Replies

  • mrdexter1
    mrdexter1 Posts: 356 Member
    Its beyond me why any man cant see straight through you bar the fact they are both so young and in experienced ...

    Do the 22 year old friend a favour and let him walk away as I m sure you realise if the boot were on the other foot you wouldn't want to be saddled with a partner like yourself...

    ( Wish men would grow more nuts and hate to see us being taken advantage of , used and abused by women !)
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    So you are 19 and like two guys?

    This is the more normal advice question I have ever seen in the forums.

    This is what you do: You break up with your boyfriend. I get it, you like him. That's why when you break up with him you tell him you like him but that you are 19 and not ready to be in a relationship. Then you explore other options and discover what you actually want in a partner. All of this should be done outside of a relationship, so you have the freedom to explore whatever interests you. Once you have gotten to the point where you know what you want, you can seek it (and a relationship) out.

    The end.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Its beyond me why any man cant see straight through you bar the fact they are both so young and in experienced ...

    Do the 22 year old friend a favour and let him walk away as I m sure you realise if the boot were on the other foot you wouldn't want to be saddled with a partner like yourself...

    ( Wish men would grow more nuts and hate to see us being taken advantage of , used and abused by women !)

    This!!
  • andreahanlon
    andreahanlon Posts: 263 Member
    If you like them both the same, I say pick the one you have the most similar long term goals with. For example, are you willing to move wherever the marine is stationed? Or be away from him long periods of time if he is stationed abroad? Or would you rather be with the older fellow and accept that he will be super busy when he is in college and working? Is guy #2 going to relocate for neuroscience and tell you just to stay where you are while he starts his next phase? I would think about how you would see it working out best in the longrun. Also consider if either of these boys is looking for what you want (which I'm assuming is a longer term relationship). You don't want to break off something you know is good if the other fellow isn't looking for something real.
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
    mfpdeathmatch.jpg

    Or... which one do you think you'd still want to be with in 5 years time and such like.
  • CherylP67
    CherylP67 Posts: 772 Member
    I didn't read through all of the replies, but here is my take on the situation.

    You are dating a guy and have feelings for another, there is something missing in your relationship if you are interested in someone else. Also, the guy you are dating said he would move on if there was another guy, and there is but you're not telling him. That is a big secret and something that will hamper your relationship. Safety and intimacy are based on trust, and you're not being trustworthy.

    I'm not being mean to you, just telling you what I see.
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    I'm 19 and I'm tired of "dating" too. But I'm also in college, haha so I dunno if I can settle just yet.

    Seriously?? You haven't even lived yet.
  • JingleMuffin
    JingleMuffin Posts: 543 Member
    TOPIC: In need of advice: Stuck between 2 guys? Help...

    i had a dream where that happened once- it was AWESOME
  • jothekid
    jothekid Posts: 230 Member
    Go for the 2nd one, cause if you'd love the 1st one, you wouldn't look elsewhere...
  • kassiebby1124
    kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
    Go for the 2nd one, cause if you'd love the 1st one, you wouldn't look elsewhere...
    Well I know I don't love my boyfriend. We haven't even been dating for a month.
  • tehboxingkitteh
    tehboxingkitteh Posts: 1,574 Member
    I'm 19 and I'm tired of "dating" too. But I'm also in college, haha so I dunno if I can settle just yet.

    Seriously?? You haven't even lived yet.
    ^^^this

    Not even dating a month?! Come back when you've been dating for 2 years and your best friend tells you he's in love with you.
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
    It ain't easy being a playa. Takes mad skillz.
  • MissTattoo
    MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
    Thanks everyone! I'm seeing my bf today so he and I are gonna have to have a talk. My best friend DOES want to settle down and honestly, I'm 19 and I'm tired of "dating" too. But I'm also in college, haha so I dunno if I can settle just yet. Thank you for all your advice.


    Wait...you are 19 and tired of dating? You just started! Who wants to settle down at 19?! There is a reason why the divorce rate is highest for people who get married before 25.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Go for the 2nd one, cause if you'd love the 1st one, you wouldn't look elsewhere...
    Well I know I don't love my boyfriend. We haven't even been dating for a month.

    :huh: Do you understand that dating is a thing? You can date people without being in a relationship. That is what you need to be doing at 19.
  • kassiebby1124
    kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
    Go for the 2nd one, cause if you'd love the 1st one, you wouldn't look elsewhere...
    Well I know I don't love my boyfriend. We haven't even been dating for a month.

    :huh: Do you understand that dating is a thing? You can date people without being in a relationship. That is what you need to be doing at 19.
    See I thought that was considered "talking." I dunno >.< I'm sorry I'm being so difficult.
  • KBjimAZ
    KBjimAZ Posts: 369 Member
    Here's my advice:
    1) You can lie to these two guys as much as you want, but you can't lie to yourself....and that's what you're doing.

    2) You are 19. Get out and live life....for you...without being held down by either of these two guys. 20 years from now you will thank the people that are telling you this. You're welcome.

    3) Don't pull the kettlebell above armpit level while doing the swing. Posterior chain, not thoracic and shoulders.
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
    Rats. I was hoping for a sandwich pic. :sad:
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Rats. I was hoping for a sandwich pic. :sad:

    sandwich-o.gif
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Go for the 2nd one, cause if you'd love the 1st one, you wouldn't look elsewhere...
    Well I know I don't love my boyfriend. We haven't even been dating for a month.

    :huh: Do you understand that dating is a thing? You can date people without being in a relationship. That is what you need to be doing at 19.
    See I thought that was considered "talking." I dunno >.< I'm sorry I'm being so difficult.

    Dating is when you go out with people to see if you like them. It has many levels of exclusivity from "none" to "completely" to anything in between. You need to be dating without exclusivity because you are interested in dating two men. So date them. As long as they both understand you don't want to be exclusive right now and agree, you are fine. If one wants exclusivity, you have to accept that you are in a different place in life than they are and move on. Period.
  • adorable_aly
    adorable_aly Posts: 398 Member
    I seriously am in a pickle /:


    Yes you are... or rather you have 2 pickles in you.. :laugh:

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Use the pickle juice as a grease to un-jam you from those two guys!

    Hahahahaha
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    Dishonest. And keeping your big toe stuck in the door of two guys is just creepy. Sounds like you don't deserve them! Back to the drawing board on your character.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    You're 19. You are allowed to date more than one person at once, as long as every one knows the situation.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    You're 19. You are allowed to date more than one person at once, as long as every one knows the situation.

    QFT
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    Dishonest. And keeping your big toe stuck in the door of two guys is just creepy. Sounds like you don't deserve them! Back to the drawing board on your character.
    Really? She's only 19 and has only been dating her "boyfriend" one month. This is not even really a thing. It seems reasonable to tell her "boyfriend" that she wants to be clear that they don't have exclusivity, which of course means she needs to accept him dating other people too, and then she is free to tell her "best friend" that she is interested in dating him in addition to the marine corps guy.

    You're a grown-up now, dear. You have to learn to use your words. If you can't talk to them about stuff like this, in no way are you prepared to be in an intimate, much less committed, relationship.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    as long as every one knows the situation.

    And here lies the problem. :tongue: :laugh:
  • bobf279
    bobf279 Posts: 342 Member
    I'm 19 and I'm tired of "dating" too. But I'm also in college, haha so I dunno if I can settle just yet.

    Seriously?? You haven't even lived yet.

    Exactly
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Dishonest. And keeping your big toe stuck in the door of two guys is just creepy. Sounds like you don't deserve them! Back to the drawing board on your character.

    If being interested in two people at once is the signal of poor moral character, I need to go back to the drawing board too.

    And I am married. Probably going to hell.
  • splitaces
    splitaces Posts: 141
    take the one that u r dating if he is the one that treats u the best, something u could try is take one full day with one guy and see everything he does for u then take the next guy and do the same, dont tell them why ur doing this, then after both days make ur own evaluation and see who treated u the best and what they did that whole day, then with a gut feeling pick the one.
  • FindingMyPerfection
    FindingMyPerfection Posts: 702 Member
    Dishonest. And keeping your big toe stuck in the door of two guys is just creepy. Sounds like you don't deserve them! Back to the drawing board on your character.
    Really? She's only 19 and has only been dating her "boyfriend" one month. This is not even really a thing. It seems reasonable to tell her "boyfriend" that she wants to be clear that they don't have exclusivity, which of course means she needs to accept him dating other people too, and then she is free to tell her "best friend" that she is interested in dating him in addition to the marine corps guy.

    You're a grown-up now, dear. You have to learn to use your words. If you can't talk to them about stuff like this, in no way are you prepared to be in an intimate, much less committed, relationship.
    QFT at 19 I had 3 guys I was dating, they all new of each other and were free to walk if they didn't like the situation. They were also free to date others. This it the age to find out what you want not to settle for what you have!
  • mrdexter1
    mrdexter1 Posts: 356 Member
    Dishonest. And keeping your big toe stuck in the door of two guys is just creepy. Sounds like you don't deserve them! Back to the drawing board on your character.

    Well said that woman !

    You re a bit of a rarity in being of good moral standard and no doubt a thoroughly nice person and I can only advise men to search high and low before you settle and make sure you settle with someone like this !!

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