good comebacks?!

paygep
paygep Posts: 401 Member
in Chit-Chat
So I was at the gas station last night. When I got out of my car this lady rolls up in her Mercedes and yells " You got a problem? I don't like the way you looked at me!" So, I'm like "Excuse me?" And she says "You FAT!" and I was just like...

tumblr_m7y05lA1tk1qzy5spo1_500.jpg


I just could not think of a good comeback. :explode:

Can anybody help me out for next time? I feel I need to be prepared in case this happens again.
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Replies

  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    Why did the lady say that? like did you give her a nasty look?

    I personally would've smiled because it bother's them more when you don't engage them as they try to vent and you seem to not be affected by it.
  • paygep
    paygep Posts: 401 Member
    Well, I was waiting for her to back out of a parking space... Maybe I looked grumpy b/c I was in desperate need of coffee!
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    "oh yeah, well i'm rubber and you're glue... so go *bleep* yourself!"
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
    Uh..."I was trying to look like you today!" ?
  • paygep
    paygep Posts: 401 Member
    I probably gave her as much satisfaction as she could get from the interaction... I practically ran away crying! :sad:

    I was already having a 'fat day'. I really could have done without her pointing out my fatness.
  • elkahallick
    elkahallick Posts: 1,138 Member
    "Hey you're dad called, he wants you to bring his car back"
  • Sovictorrious
    Sovictorrious Posts: 770 Member
    Your mother is a *kitten*
  • wayback63
    wayback63 Posts: 210
    You could have told her...

    Well at least I can lose the weight, but you will always be ugly!
  • wayback63
    wayback63 Posts: 210
    The *kitten* store just called and they need their face back.
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
    I think I would have gone with "F### you", either verbal or gestured. No need to engage people like that any further.
  • DannehBoyy
    DannehBoyy Posts: 546 Member
    "If i wanted to hear from an *kitten*...I'd fart"

    "I'd slap you...but that would be animal abuse"
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    Middle finger upraised always works.
  • paygep
    paygep Posts: 401 Member
    "Hey you're dad called, he wants you to bring his car back"

    Oooooh! Good one!
    You could have told her...

    Well at least I can lose the weight, but you will always be ugly!

    I was thinking this!
    "I'd slap you...but that would be animal abuse"

    I like this one!
  • PhearlessPhreaks
    PhearlessPhreaks Posts: 890 Member
    Your Face.
    So What?
    Get the *kitten* over it.

    Or the middle finger. That's sufficient for nearly negative encounter.
  • Marcia315
    Marcia315 Posts: 460 Member
    You can buy a Mercedes but you can't buy class.

    I'm sorry you are having such a horrible day, but i would,appreciate you not taking it out on me.

    Im fat, but I can lose weight. You will always be a rude obnoxious hateful *****.

    Wow. That wasn't very nice.
  • AmyZ46
    AmyZ46 Posts: 694 Member
    I probably gave her as much satisfaction as she could get from the interaction... I practically ran away crying! :sad:

    I was already having a 'fat day'. I really could have done without her pointing out my fatness.

    I'm sorry but this cracked me up as of course I have "fat days " too. I probably would have said FU becasue I am not good at comebacks either. oh I may have called her a who--
  • anro86
    anro86 Posts: 790 Member
    She said, "You Fat?" I probably would have responded, "You illiterate?"

    Or gone the other way and said something like "I'll pray for you" or "Merry Christmas!" in a very sincere voice.

    But I am sorry that happened, people sometimes do/say really ignorant things because they are going through their own issues and want to take it out on others. I am sorry she wanted to spread her bad day/bad attitude to you.

    BTW, you are beautiful!
  • wayback63
    wayback63 Posts: 210
    You might want to consider adjusting your meds.
  • greeneyes0809
    greeneyes0809 Posts: 422 Member
    I probably would have just laughed and said something about how at least I know how to speak. Insults don't really have much effect when they reveal how truly uneducated someone is.

    Eta: Oops looks like someone already beat me to it! But still, girl just ignore them! Anyone who takes the time out of their day just to call someone else names because they think they gave them some "imaginary look" isn't even worth the brain power of coming up with a comeback!
  • paygep
    paygep Posts: 401 Member
    You can buy a Mercedes but you can't buy class.

    Zing! Yes!
    She said, "You Fat?" I probably would have responded, "You illiterate?"

    Very true!
  • JustYandy
    JustYandy Posts: 221 Member
    "It's not my fault you got rapped 3 times...laid down spread your legs and 2 cows came"
  • chani8
    chani8 Posts: 946 Member
    Well, just <hugs> to you!! Being a real person with real feelings was the best response!

    The goal is to learn to love yourself so much, that nobody can hurt you with their ugly words. Why should you be hurt to be called fat? I'm a lot of things, and if someone called me them, I'd be like, "Nu?"
  • silverraiyne
    silverraiyne Posts: 683 Member
    I just blow kisses and give a cutsie way, seems to piss em off real good ;-)

    kelly-kapowski-wave_zpsb74333da.gif
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
    Tell her, "Your nose is so big you can use all 5 fingers to pick it. "
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    "God bless you!"
  • paygep
    paygep Posts: 401 Member
    "God bless you!"

    I like this... or "Jesus loves you!"
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
    Man, all the above are good. I would have flipped her off and said "F**k you, b****!"
  • rieann84
    rieann84 Posts: 511 Member
    Who cares what face you were making..the f**k would she even notice if she wasn't staring back at you? A good response to any "you're fat" bull**** is always that you can lose weight, but they'll always be ugly.

    "go f**k your mother" is another good, off-the-cuff one.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    "God bless you!"

    I like this... or "Jesus loves you!"
    Exactly, or "the Lord bless you!"
  • moya_rargh
    moya_rargh Posts: 1,473 Member
    "That's because every time I f*** your husband he makes me breakfast."

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