Girlfriend's Words Hurt

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  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    JBU? Done already.
    Talk to her? Nope, already mentioned.
    Sir mix-a-lot reference? Too late.

    Sorry, OP...I got nothing.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    Eh, I doubt it's that big tbh, given your hips aren't especially wide.

    Anyway, tell her. That's all you can do.
  • hannahpistolas
    hannahpistolas Posts: 290 Member
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    Embrace that booty.

    Also, find new friends.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Has a pic been posted of the booty in question?

    You know, for science and stuff?
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
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    post it :)
    I don't understand girls and their butt insecurity, most men love em!

    I don't think male appreciation of her butt is one of the OP's concerns. Just a hunch.

    You mean not all women base all of their choices and aspirations based on what men find attractive? Next you're gonna tell me some of them don't even like men in that way.


    OP, talk to her. She might not know how you feel so let her clarify what she meant. Also, if you need more positive reassurance from her, wouldn't hurt to let her know that too. Don't be passive aggressive, just be up front and avoid the resentment and hurt feelings.
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
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    Learn to love yourself and you'll be more or less immune to anything anyone says to you.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Learn to love yourself and you'll be more or less immune to anything anyone says to you.

    This would resolve 80%+ of the problems posted here.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Learn to love yourself and you'll be more or less immune to anything anyone says to you.

    This would resolve 80%+ of the problems posted here.

    Yup.
  • tjthegreatone
    tjthegreatone Posts: 324
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    If you are either of the two women in your profile picture, there's no way you have a 'large' butt. You are already very slim.
    Your friend is being nasty/insensitive. I am told that sometimes it is driven by envy/feelings of insecurity. You could either let her know for the last time that you won't tolerate any more negative comments on your body, or you could just move on and gradually phase her out of your circle of friends.
    One thing I learned the hard way is life is difficult enough and you'll have to deal with enough negativity from numerous other sources. Do not tolerate it in friends/family/close ones.
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
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    Learn to love yourself and you'll be more or less immune to anything anyone says to you.

    This would resolve 80%+ of the problems posted here.

    Yup.

    destroy the economy tho eh.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Learn to love yourself and you'll be more or less immune to anything anyone says to you.

    This would resolve 80%+ of the problems posted here.

    Yup.

    destroy the economy tho eh.

    I'd like to think it would transform the economy. :drinker:
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    This is why I have only dated 2 women in my entire life and the rest have been men. It would always get to the point where there was too much estrogen flowing, and emotions started running way too high.
  • longtimeterp
    longtimeterp Posts: 623 Member
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    why on earth would anyone want to lose a booty...i've suffered from noassatall my whole life and would love to have a booty!
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
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    Learn to love yourself and you'll be more or less immune to anything anyone says to you.

    This would resolve 80%+ of the problems posted here.

    Yup.

    destroy the economy tho eh.

    I'd like to think it would transform the economy. :drinker:

    me_for_president_225_button.jpg?height=225&width=225
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    why on earth would anyone want to lose a booty...i've suffered from noassatall my whole life and would love to have a booty!

    ^This.
  • skinnybythanksgiving
    skinnybythanksgiving Posts: 159 Member
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    "How can I make her understand how awful she makes me feel? I just feel so awful and low, like I want to give up."

    She understands already. You have already let her know it makes you feel terrible and sad and less than and all that.

    I believe you feel awful because you know she knows how she is making you feel, and keeps right on doing it. It isn't going to change, so you would want to:

    A. Accept the verbal abuse and the resulting damage to your self-esteem or
    B. Set a boundary with her saying no more. Tell her if she does it again, your relationship is over. That way she knows you are serious. Write her a letter so she knows you are serious and can't blow you off with another joke.

    You know, you deserve better than that, right? :flowerforyou:

    There is a good book by Patricia Evans called Verbal Abuse. Check it out!
  • DonnaAidana
    DonnaAidana Posts: 20
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    If you are either of the two women in your profile picture, there's no way you have a 'large' butt. You are already very slim.
    Your friend is being nasty/insensitive. I am told that sometimes it is driven by envy/feelings of insecurity. You could either let her know for the last time that you won't tolerate any more negative comments on your body, or you could just move on and gradually phase her out of your circle of friends.
    One thing I learned the hard way is life is difficult enough and you'll have to deal with enough negativity from numerous other sources. Do not tolerate it in friends/family/close ones.

    Thats me and my girlfriend actually. It would be hard to phase her out, as I love her very much and (as an aside) she pays half the rent. But at the same time the way I feel when she cracks jokes or draws focus to my butt is just terrible! She knows I hate it and that its been a source of teasing for me since middle school.

    I just don't know how to cope with it anymore, especially with people telling me I can't do anything about it!
  • DonnaAidana
    DonnaAidana Posts: 20
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    "How can I make her understand how awful she makes me feel? I just feel so awful and low, like I want to give up."

    She understands already. You have already let her know it makes you feel terrible and sad and less than and all that.

    I believe you feel awful because you know she knows how she is making you feel, and keeps right on doing it. It isn't going to change, so you would want to:

    A. Accept the verbal abuse and the resulting damage to your self-esteem or
    B. Set a boundary with her saying no more. Tell her if she does it again, your relationship is over. That way she knows you are serious. Write her a letter so she knows you are serious and can't blow you off with another joke.

    You know, you deserve better than that, right? :flowerforyou:

    There is a good book by Patricia Evans called Verbal Abuse. Check it out!

    I will check out this book! Thank you
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    Is that your girlfriend in your profile picture? You are both beautiful, but you are actually a little slimmer than she is.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    Listen, she's just trying to manipulate you and lower your self esteem so you stay with her. It's called "negging" (FROM NEGATIVE to be clear). The less you think of yourself, the more you depend on her for approval, and the more she can control you. Think about it.

    That might make sense. That's why she doesn't want me to lose weight and encourages me to eat more/cardio less?

    I mean, that's possible. I was looking at the psychiatric side. Perhaps it's possible that she truly wants you to be undesirable to others, as well, instead of just thinking that you're undesirable. There is also a fetish called "feederism" where the "feeder" (in this case, your GF) gets arousal from causing you to over eat and gain wait. Trust me, just don't google it. You don't want to read that stuff.

    Edited to add:
    http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/channel/taboo/videos/feederism/

    I'm not saying that this is certainly in your future. But it's absolutely very, very likely.

    Taking my hat out of the just break up ring and throwing it into the 'OP's girlfriend is a feeder' ring. It seems legit.

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