Hating the idea of maintaining.

I don't know why but I hate the idea that I'm done losing weight.
When I was losing weight, I felt good knowing I was eating less than others...that I was getting skinnier while they were not.
But now I don't need to get any skinnier and need to start eating more...
the problem is when I see people eating way less than me on a daily basis I feel like crap about myself...Especially when I gain(even if it is only .2 pounds) the next day.
Did anyone else go through this problem?

Also I'm going through this feeling where I just want to stop logging. I want to stop weighing in. I just want to be like other skinny people and be able to eat all day long and not care. I hate having to go through this struggle >.<
Would it be bad to have a week or two where I live as "The old me" =/
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Replies

  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    If you want to have one cheat/re-feed day then yes you would do that …BAsed on your comments, A whole two weeks at your old you does not sound like a smart idea…as at the end of that two week period you may not like what you have consumed and will just go back to old habits..

    Not sure why maintenance would scare you ..I mean you get to eat some more food, and maybe throw in some additional goodies like ice cream and some pizza once in a while…

    I just increased my intake from like 1900 to 2500 a day and I am loving it..gym performance is up, and I feel great….so don't be afraid of maintenance embrace it...

    What kind of training regimen are you on? Maybe you should look into lifting heavy and eating at maintenance? This way you can shred a little more body fat and lean out, and look better…
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    wow, you care WAY too much about what other people think....
  • Whyareyoumad
    Whyareyoumad Posts: 268 Member
    You should be happy, you reached your goal and now need to maintain. That is what should happen. Congrats to you, now go be happy!
  • joyfuljoy65
    joyfuljoy65 Posts: 317 Member
    Don't let other comments on here make you feel bad - maintenance after a long time losing is HARD. We have trained our brains to think in a new way, and now we have to slightly adjust it!! We still should be eating well and not reverting to our old habits that led us to the land of excess and obesity, but we can give ourselves some leeway.

    I found upping my calories slowly from losing level (1370) over the past couple of months (now at 1600) has helped. I will increase it to 2000 for the Christmas week and then revert back to 1600 and see how I go.

    It is so important that we are happy with our new ways of eating, exercising, in fact LIVING. If we are not we will slowly (or quickly!) revert back to the comfort eating ways of old (that was always my downfall). I hope you get past this and realise the fantastic job you have done and how awesome you are..... (and yes I need to listen to my own advice!).
  • tuckerrj
    tuckerrj Posts: 1,453 Member
    to reach your goal weight and start maintenance is cause for CELEBRATION! Learning how to tweak your food intake and exercise in order not to balloon back up is a blessing. Have a cheat meal once in a while, or a day you don't log. But weighing yourself periodically and going back on a "mini-diet" for a day or two to get back down to your optimum weight is the essence of what maintenance is (for me anyway). Congratulations and good luck on maintaining.
  • steffij100
    steffij100 Posts: 85 Member
    Sounds to me like you need a new goal. You've achieved a huge amount, so revel in your success and be kinder to yourself. Now you are where you want to be weight wise, maybe make your goals more fitness related. Lift heavier, run/cycle/swim faster, whatever you enjoy doing. Take up a new sport. Challenge yourself so you have something new to aim for. Never worry about what others are doing/eating. It's you that counts.

    And- enjoy those extra calories, you earned them! :smile:
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    If eating less than others is something you took pride in, you have mental issues that need to be worked through with a professional.
  • For me, i look at dieting as a skill so whenever i reach my end goal weight, i inevitably end up just not logging in anymore and going idgaf about the diet (except for protein intake) until i gain too much then i start dieting again. theres never maintenance for me :P but i guess itll be different for a girl
  • LolBroScience
    LolBroScience Posts: 4,537 Member
    If eating less than others is something you took pride in, you have mental issues that need to be worked through with a professional.

    x2
  • speedy740
    speedy740 Posts: 141 Member
    I am 100% in the same boat you are, completely terrified.
  • So would it be bad for for me to have one day where I "Cheat" And then go on a mini diet for the rest of the week? I feel as though that would make me feel good because I'd be eating less then everyone else all the other days of the week except for that one day =P
    Like I could weigh myself the morning of my cheat day, cheat, eat less for the rest of the week then re-weigh in again on the morning of my next cheat day to see if I earned it?
    I think what I need to do is stop weighing in daily even though it sometimes helps...but only when the number I see is lower.
  • amy1612
    amy1612 Posts: 1,356 Member
    Let me state what may seem like a surprising fact......Skinny people do not eat all day long and just stay skinny.

    The problems you have sound like things to discuss with a counsellor.
  • amy1612
    amy1612 Posts: 1,356 Member
    Wait, is your diary accurate?
  • LishieFruit89
    LishieFruit89 Posts: 1,956 Member
    Let me state what may seem like a surprising fact......Skinny people do not eat all day long and just stay skinny.

    The problems you have sound like things to discuss with a counsellor.

    So much this.
    Especially after going through your diary...

    24.75g of a pot pie for breakfast...
    That's like 1 bite, maybe 2.
  • Let me state what may seem like a surprising fact......Skinny people do not eat all day long and just stay skinny.

    The problems you have sound like things to discuss with a counsellor.

    So much this.
    Especially after going through your diary...

    24.75g of a pot pie for breakfast...
    That's like 1 bite, maybe 2.
    I did only eat a bite of it because I found it to be disgusting....but I still wanted to log it.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    So would it be bad for for me to have one day where I "Cheat" And then go on a mini diet for the rest of the week? I feel as though that would make me feel good because I'd be eating less then everyone else all the other days of the week except for that one day =P
    Like I could weigh myself the morning of my cheat day, cheat, eat less for the rest of the week then re-weigh in again on the morning of my next cheat day to see if I earned it?
    I think what I need to do is stop weighing in daily even though it sometimes helps...but only when the number I see is lower.
    How old are you really?
  • Greywalk
    Greywalk Posts: 193 Member
    You assume skinny people eat all day long and stay skinny. So as the father of two skinny children, one who is now a skinny adult I can state for those two your assumption is wrong. They worry about eating to much and are always asking if they are eating like a pig. They do not eat like a pig accept on occasion and then they feel guilty about it. Most of the time they eat like a bird. They will eat anything but only in small portions. Witness, from last nights 2 cheese meal from McDonald's and fries one of them the teenager insisted had to have as they were starving, dying of starvation.... I now have in my fridge...1 cheese burger partially eaten, half a bag of fries, and one cheeseburger not touched. They both compare what they eat with the others in the family and worry if they are eating more than the rest. This from a family that contains several amateur athletes so their calories consumption is significantly higher.
  • amy1612
    amy1612 Posts: 1,356 Member
    Let me state what may seem like a surprising fact......Skinny people do not eat all day long and just stay skinny.

    The problems you have sound like things to discuss with a counsellor.

    So much this.
    Especially after going through your diary...

    24.75g of a pot pie for breakfast...
    That's like 1 bite, maybe 2.
    I did only eat a bite of it because I found it to be disgusting....but I still wanted to log it.

    Literally everything you eat is what I wouldnt call 'snack food'. Some animal crackers, or a bowl of cereal, or a popsicle....these are really meals or going to keep you full. I'd be SO hangry if I ate the same way as you.

    I reiterate, you need to speak to someone. Youre showing symptoms of disordered behaviour.
  • LishieFruit89
    LishieFruit89 Posts: 1,956 Member
    Let me state what may seem like a surprising fact......Skinny people do not eat all day long and just stay skinny.

    The problems you have sound like things to discuss with a counsellor.

    So much this.
    Especially after going through your diary...

    24.75g of a pot pie for breakfast...
    That's like 1 bite, maybe 2.
    I did only eat a bite of it because I found it to be disgusting....but I still wanted to log it.

    Literally everything you eat is what I wouldnt call 'snack food'. Some animal crackers, or a bowl of cereal, or a popsicle....these are really meals or going to keep you full. I'd be SO hangry if I ate the same way as you.

    I reiterate, you need to speak to someone. Youre showing symptoms of disordered behaviour.

    Exactly, I noticed the same thing going through your diary.
    And I really do not believe you are 18.
  • Marcia315
    Marcia315 Posts: 460 Member
    So would it be bad for for me to have one day where I "Cheat" And then go on a mini diet for the rest of the week? I feel as though that would make me feel good because I'd be eating less then everyone else all the other days of the week except for that one day =P
    Like I could weigh myself the morning of my cheat day, cheat, eat less for the rest of the week then re-weigh in again on the morning of my next cheat day to see if I earned it?
    I think what I need to do is stop weighing in daily even though it sometimes helps...but only when the number I see is lower.

    Why does it matter if you eat less than everyone else?

    This isn't a competition.
  • a_stronger_me13
    a_stronger_me13 Posts: 812 Member
    So would it be bad for for me to have one day where I "Cheat" And then go on a mini diet for the rest of the week? I feel as though that would make me feel good because I'd be eating less then everyone else all the other days of the week except for that one day =P
    Like I could weigh myself the morning of my cheat day, cheat, eat less for the rest of the week then re-weigh in again on the morning of my next cheat day to see if I earned it?
    I think what I need to do is stop weighing in daily even though it sometimes helps...but only when the number I see is lower.
    How old are you really?

    This. This is an extremely immature/unhealthy relationship with food... and people. I would highly recommend speaking to a counselor with experience in dealing with disordered eating.
  • If you look at food as a competition with other people you have an unhealthy relationship with it. You need to see it as the energy your body needs to achieve the goals you have. Your goal is no longer to lose weight, it is now to maintain and that means eating more cals.

    If you must make it a competition many try to see it as "I can eat more than you and still weigh this much."
  • So would it be bad for for me to have one day where I "Cheat" And then go on a mini diet for the rest of the week? I feel as though that would make me feel good because I'd be eating less then everyone else all the other days of the week except for that one day =P
    Like I could weigh myself the morning of my cheat day, cheat, eat less for the rest of the week then re-weigh in again on the morning of my next cheat day to see if I earned it?
    I think what I need to do is stop weighing in daily even though it sometimes helps...but only when the number I see is lower.
    How old are you really?

    This. This is an extremely immature/unhealthy relationship with food... and people. I would highly recommend speaking to a counselor with experience in dealing with disordered eating.

    Her profile says she's 18. Her statements tell me a young 18, she needs guideance and positive help. ^^^ Counseling is a good place to start.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    There's nothing noble, virtuous or noteworthy about dieting - it is just a process.

    You have developed some unhealthy associations with eating less than other people - you have tied your self worth to it. You need to break that link, hard and fast, before it brings you down.

    I would suggest focusing on eating a healthy and varied diet and finding a physical activity that you love. That will cause you to maintain a healthy, stable weight without the obsession of calories.
  • redlipsticklyfe
    redlipsticklyfe Posts: 164 Member
    Morning! I'm currently on my fourth or fifth try to reach my goal weight. No that's not true. Every single time I've tried I've reached my goal weight and then like you figured I was skinny and could eat whatever I wanted. Then I gained all my weight back. This is my first time on MFP and I just admitted to my friends that I was scared of food. I never wanted to eat 1200 calories and when I worked out I wouldn't eat back my exercise calories. In my mind that didn't make sense if I was trying to lose weight. A light bulb went off recently and I realized that I wasn't losing weight for a number on the scale. I was doing it for a certain body. I want a six pack and toned legs and sexy arms and a back that makes lesser mortals weep. There is no magic number where that happens on the scale. After I had that epiphany I discovered a girl named Staci and I think you should meet her too. http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/

    This girl went from 170 to 117 and looked like ****. Finally she realized the number on the scale wasn't what was important and some crazy amazing things happened. I read her story every day now to help remind me that food is an integral part to get where I want to go. That it doesn't matter if I eat less or more than others as long as I'm headed toward my goal. Check out Staci and feel free to add me.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    I feel as though that would make me feel good because I'd be eating less then everyone else all the other days of the week except for that one day =P

    you dont even get why this is wrong, do you OP?
  • ihad
    ihad Posts: 7,463 Member
    So would it be bad for for me to have one day where I "Cheat" And then go on a mini diet for the rest of the week? I feel as though that would make me feel good because I'd be eating less then everyone else all the other days of the week except for that one day =P
    Like I could weigh myself the morning of my cheat day, cheat, eat less for the rest of the week then re-weigh in again on the morning of my next cheat day to see if I earned it?
    I think what I need to do is stop weighing in daily even though it sometimes helps...but only when the number I see is lower.

    It is great that you've managed to lose this weight and get to a place where your goal is maintenance.

    The challenge for many people is maintaining, particularly after losing a lot of weight. Your comments suggest this will be tough, as it seems from what you've said, that you have an unsustainable diet and an unhealthy outlook on your relationship with food and your body.

    This can be a difficult situation to navigate by yourself. I would urge you to seek help from a qualified counselor. You deserve to be happy and healthy for the long run.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    There's nothing noble, virtuous or noteworthy about dieting - it is just a process.

    You have developed some unhealthy associations with eating less than other people - you have tied your self worth to it. You need to break that link, hard and fast, before it brings you down.

    I would suggest focusing on eating a healthy and varied diet and finding a physical activity that you love. That will cause you to maintain a healthy, stable weight without the obsession of calories.

    This.


    It's an adjustment to go to maintenance for sure. But eating less than other people shouldn't make you feel superior to them. That's a very troubling mindset.

    And like others have said, find some exercise that you love and start making goals based on that. I lift weights so my goals revolve around getting stronger and improving body composition rather than on scale number now.
  • debrakhan
    debrakhan Posts: 28 Member
    I have lost over 100lbs over 2yrs ago and I still hate trying to maintain, I never allow myself a cheat day as when I tried that I put on 3lbs, I just don't seem to be able to increase my calories or to allow the occasional treat, without suffering for it, would love to have a day off once and awhile. I walk twice a day for an hour, and have just bought another exercise dvd, the Firm 500 calorie one, in the hope of being able to relax once and awhile. But I never want to go back to the way I was 2yrs ago. So I understand where you are coming from
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
    I'm not going to get into the psychology of this (I'm a psychologist, so this is hard for me). But let's just go with the fact that you're competitive and you feel good when you are doing well compared to others.

    Fact: Most people regain the weight they have lost. In fact, 65% regain after 2 years.

    Fact: Most people who haven't lost, keep getting fatter. Hence the obesity epidemic.

    If you can maintain you're doing better than almost everyone. Go with it.

    P.S. Competitive about fitness, exercise, and your body fat percentage? Half the MFP groupies will be happy to join you there.