Hating the idea of maintaining.
Replies
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OP, you talk as if eating is some sort of crime against humanity. You aren't going to find happiness as long as you have that sort of mentality toward food. And nobody (who is worth knowing) cares how much you do or don't eat.
Those three pounds are not fat. It's probably just water, and will go away in a couple of days. I'm not sure why gaining 3 pounds for a couple of days is the end of the world or to be seen as a source of "suffering."I have lost over 100lbs over 2yrs ago and I still hate trying to maintain, I never allow myself a cheat day as when I tried that I put on 3lbs, I just don't seem to be able to increase my calories or to allow the occasional treat, without suffering for it, would love to have a day off once and awhile. I walk twice a day for an hour, and have just bought another exercise dvd, the Firm 500 calorie one, in the hope of being able to relax once and awhile. But I never want to go back to the way I was 2yrs ago. So I understand where you are coming from0 -
http://www.sparkteens.com/
That is probably a better place for you, OP. And talk to a counseling professional.0 -
It sounds like you have an iffy relationship with food. Maybe you should speak with someone.0
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I'm really not being rude here but it sounds like you have issues with food AND with yourself. Have you thought about seeing a therapist? Someone to talk to about how you feel? I mean obviously there are all sorts of psychological changes we go through as we lose weight and reach our goals. Not everyone handles them well and that's NOTHING to be ashamed of. I definitely think seeing someone about your feelings would help.0
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This makes me think you could work yourself into an eating disorder if you are not careful. There is no reason you should feel bad about yourself for eating more than someone else. Your body is different than theirs.I don't know why but I hate the idea that I'm done losing weight.
When I was losing weight, I felt good knowing I was eating less than others...that I was getting skinnier while they were not.
But now I don't need to get any skinnier and need to start eating more...
the problem is when I see people eating way less than me on a daily basis I feel like crap about myself.
As to wanting to be the "old" you... Girl!!! I wish I could be the 18 year old me who could eat whatever ALL the time. But, you know what they say, "Wishing doesn't make it so!"
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sparkteens.com
ETA: And now I see that someone else beat me to it...
...so consider this a "x2".0 -
Please keep on mind that, whatever you may think about it, people usually don't care whether you eat more or less than them, they usually don't notice unless they want to hurt you on purpose. If you're doing this to impress the other people you should definitely question your motivation. I wonder who are those "other people" though. If you have some nice friends, who have a healthy relationship with food (and with you) I don't see why you should feel like you're in competition with them. If you have a bad enviroment around you, e.g. extremely skinny people, with unhealthy relationship with food, obsessively counting calories OR thin people who look at you in a weird way for eating, then you should definitely change the kind of people you have around. If it's all about you you should try to focus on yourself instead. Why did you do this? What do you want to achieve? Happiness, strenght, healthiness and so on... if you rely on imposed models then you're not losing weight, you're damaging yourself outside and inside.0
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If I were you, I would take pride in knowing that you could eat MORE than someone and still look great.
If it really is that big of an issue for you to appear to be eating less, it sounds like you should talk to someone.0 -
Some of you need to check your language. If she's experiencing disordered behavior, what good does it do to call her immature, insult her or make judgements about her age? It's completely irrelevant and even bordering on hurtful. And that just makes YOU look immature.
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So would it be bad for for me to have one day where I "Cheat" And then go on a mini diet for the rest of the week? I feel as though that would make me feel good because I'd be eating less then everyone else all the other days of the week except for that one day =P
Like I could weigh myself the morning of my cheat day, cheat, eat less for the rest of the week then re-weigh in again on the morning of my next cheat day to see if I earned it?
I think what I need to do is stop weighing in daily even though it sometimes helps...but only when the number I see is lower.
ummm I think you need to re-examine your relationship with food and how you view others...
what do you care if you are eating less, or more, or the same then others?0 -
i am not even close yes. but i think about it already. thinking its so exciting for me to lose the weight whats going to happen when i get to goal. so i understand your post even though im not there with you.yet. congrats on all your weight loss tho girl you look fantastic.0
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hi Jofsparkteens.com
ETA: And now I see that someone else beat me to it...
...so consider this a "x2".0 -
Seems like you're complicating your thoughts...Just listen to your body eat when your hungry... don't binge eat,and exercise for health not weight loss.Personally I enjoy exercise makes me feel awesome.So even when I get where I want too be I will just keep doing what I'm doing without counting calories and listening to my body.I kinda do that now anyway...I just am gonna eat whatever anyhow I can guess on how many calories something is by how satisfied to full I am...I loose weight slowly a pound every two weeks because I lower my body fat more then weight.I went from 30% BF to 24% just listening to my body and staying active in variety of things...weights,swimming,cardio,having fun not thinking about it as a exercise like playing basketball.Just don't worry about the small stuff and live life and enjoy everyday!0
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I'm not going to get into the psychology of this (I'm a psychologist, so this is hard for me). But let's just go with the fact that you're competitive and you feel good when you are doing well compared to others.
Fact: Most people regain the weight they have lost. In fact, 65% regain after 2 years.
Fact: Most people who haven't lost, keep getting fatter. Hence the obesity epidemic.
If you can maintain you're doing better than almost everyone. Go with it.
P.S. Competitive about fitness, exercise, and your body fat percentage? Half the MFP groupies will be happy to join you there.
Wow, you're a psychologist and you're offering the OP the advice of 'if that's how you feel, there's no helping you, just go with it'. Wow.0 -
You clearly have some issues with food and eating. :noway:0
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So would it be bad for for me to have one day where I "Cheat" And then go on a mini diet for the rest of the week? I feel as though that would make me feel good because I'd be eating less then everyone else all the other days of the week except for that one day =P
Like I could weigh myself the morning of my cheat day, cheat, eat less for the rest of the week then re-weigh in again on the morning of my next cheat day to see if I earned it?
I think what I need to do is stop weighing in daily even though it sometimes helps...but only when the number I see is lower.
ummm I think you need to re-examine your relationship with food and how you view others...
what do you care if you are eating less, or more, or the same then others?0 -
Hi OP! I think you need to look at your diet. If you chose different foods you'd probably feel fuller and perhaps not focus so much of your energy on thinking about food in the way that you do. Try to custom set your macros and increase your protein levels, and try not to go for hours on end with very little protein. For example, you regularly eat a piece of fruit for lunch and that's it. Pair it with some peanut butter or cottage cheese or greek yogurt and walla- you have a decent intake. I especially like the Dannon light & Fit Greek yogurts. They cost about $1 and are only 80 calories but have 12 grams of protein and are pretty low in sugar even though they have fruits in them.
And also, you prob should talk to someone professionally. It's not a bad thing to seek help and prevent eating problems for yourself in the future. You could just try it and stop if you really think it's not helpful. But at least give it a go!0 -
Everyone has their own issues, and I can kind of understand where you're coming from. I'm still on the losing track, but I've recently upped my calories because I've been working out harder, and I also dread comments from certain people in my life who are judgemental and have really bad relationships with food and their bodies about how much I'm eating. It's scary to eat more when you've trained to eat less. I think the important thing is to 1) definitely keep tracking, I know it's tempting to stop and to just eat whatever you want, but unfortunately it IS a lifestyle change and should probably be a force of habit now so you might as well keep it going, and 2) focus now on developing a healthy body image and healthy relationship with food. The physical part is (hopefully) over for you, but the key to keeping that weight off is now working on the mental and emotional part about it.
Good luck! And remain a part of the MFP community so you can continue to receive the support you need!0 -
If eating less than others is something you took pride in, you have mental issues that need to be worked through with a professional.
x2
I would have not said it that way, but I do think you need to figure this out....0 -
I don't know why but I hate the idea that I'm done losing weight.
When I was losing weight, I felt good knowing I was eating less than others...that I was getting skinnier while they were not.
But now I don't need to get any skinnier and need to start eating more...
the problem is when I see people eating way less than me on a daily basis I feel like crap about myself...Especially when I gain(even if it is only .2 pounds) the next day.
Did anyone else go through this problem?
Also I'm going through this feeling where I just want to stop logging. I want to stop weighing in. I just want to be like other skinny people and be able to eat all day long and not care. I hate having to go through this struggle >.<
Would it be bad to have a week or two where I live as "The old me" =/
Sounds like you've lost the weight but still have an unhealthy relationship with food. First - PLEASE stop worrying about what everyone else is doing! Then you need to stop thinking 'diet' and start thinking healthy lifestyle. Find your maintenance calories, eat healthy, reward yourself in moderation and enjoy........You're a success story!! If you continue to feel down or experience anxiety over this you might want to get some counseling to get you over this hump.0 -
There's nothing noble, virtuous or noteworthy about dieting - it is just a process.
You have developed some unhealthy associations with eating less than other people - you have tied your self worth to it. You need to break that link, hard and fast, before it brings you down.
I would suggest focusing on eating a healthy and varied diet and finding a physical activity that you love. That will cause you to maintain a healthy, stable weight without the obsession of calories.
Agree.
I find it weird that you think you're better than other people for dieting. Is it possible that you view it as a competition, and competition is what keeps you going? Why would you feel like you have to eat less than people to be as good as them?0 -
I'm not going to get into the psychology of this (I'm a psychologist, so this is hard for me). But let's just go with the fact that you're competitive and you feel good when you are doing well compared to others.
Fact: Most people regain the weight they have lost. In fact, 65% regain after 2 years.
Fact: Most people who haven't lost, keep getting fatter. Hence the obesity epidemic.
If you can maintain you're doing better than almost everyone. Go with it.
P.S. Competitive about fitness, exercise, and your body fat percentage? Half the MFP groupies will be happy to join you there.
Wow, you're a psychologist and you're offering the OP the advice of 'if that's how you feel, there's no helping you, just go with it'. Wow.
I'm not a clinical psychologist and no, that's not what I was saying. Not at all what I'm saying. What I do feel is that I'm not going to try to change someone's relationship with food and themselves in any useful way in a weight maintenance forum. Enough people have already made those points about their feelings about the OP in this thread, haven't they? And while I might have opinions about the original post (I do) I don't know enough about the person to know if it's how they phrase their question v. what they actually feel.
And I hate it when people jump on folks asking for support on forums. Don't you?0 -
I'm not going to get into the psychology of this (I'm a psychologist, so this is hard for me). But let's just go with the fact that you're competitive and you feel good when you are doing well compared to others.
Fact: Most people regain the weight they have lost. In fact, 65% regain after 2 years.
Fact: Most people who haven't lost, keep getting fatter. Hence the obesity epidemic.
If you can maintain you're doing better than almost everyone. Go with it.
P.S. Competitive about fitness, exercise, and your body fat percentage? Half the MFP groupies will be happy to join you there.
Wow, you're a psychologist and you're offering the OP the advice of 'if that's how you feel, there's no helping you, just go with it'. Wow.
I'm not a clinical psychologist and no, that's not what I was saying. Not at all what I'm saying. What I do feel is that I'm not going to try to change someone's relationship with food and themselves in any useful way in a weight maintenance forum. Enough people have already made those points about their feelings about the OP in this thread, haven't they? And while I might have opinions about the original post (I do) I don't know enough about the person to know if it's how they phrase their question v. what they actually feel.
And I hate it when people jump on folks asking for support on forums. Don't you?
Having had an eating disorder born out of misplaced competitiveness and control issues (which is common reason why eating disorder develop, BTW), I think your first post is dangerous. If you are psychologist, then you should know better than to affirm this competitive trigger which is clearly already impacting her thought process about eating in a negative way. I'm really shocked you would go there and I am assuming that you do not work with ED or OCD patients on a regular basis.0 -
Okay there have been a lot of posts since I last checked this so I feel the need to say some things.
I find it sort of rude that you are telling me to go to sparkteens.com I did just turn 18 in August so I am a young 18 year old.
Also I didn't lose weight to be skinnier than others I lost weight because I felt like crap and had no confidence when I was overweight.
I have gotten so much more confident since losing the weight, just not in the way I eat.
I am surrounded by people who do not eat properly. My 12 year old sister is underweight and doesn't eat enough, but my parents are doing nothing about it and allowing her to stay that thin and not forcing her to eat the amount she should be.
My mother also doesn't eat enough either, she doesn't start eating till around 2-3pm and sometimes doesn't eat till dinner, and tat's only if she thinks she has time to eat.
My dad is overweight so the fact that I pretty much eat as much as him is probably what's scaring me. I'm not gaining weight but the fact that my mom and little sister barely eat and are skinny and my eating habits are closer to my overweight fathers scare me.
I do need to talk to someone I know that but I sadly don't have the opportunity to go see anyone about it because of my current situation.
Also, I do have a disordered view of eating, but I don't have a medically diagnosed eating disorder.0 -
Are you in school? If high school, the guidance counselor *might* be able to help you, or at least steer you toward someone who can. When I was teaching guidance counselors ended up doing more scheduling than counseling, but they should at least have access to resources that can be helpful.
If college, there should be a student health center. They'll staff several counselors who are meant to help students with a variety of issues.
If either of those scenarios is a possibility I'd encourage you to take advantage.0 -
Are you in school? If high school, the guidance counselor *might* be able to help you, or at least steer you toward someone who can. When I was teaching guidance counselors ended up doing more scheduling than counseling, but they should at least have access to resources that can be helpful.
If college, there should be a student health center. They'll staff several counselors who are meant to help students with a variety of issues.
If either of those scenarios is a possibility I'd encourage you to take advantage.
^This is good advice.
Also, do you think you can find a way to channel your competitive spirit into some kind of activity, like a sport or training for a goal?0 -
Everybody is different, there are always going to be people who are FATTER and THINNER than you, PRETTIER and UGLIER than you, EAT MORE OR LESS than you! You should do what you think is right for you. Are you happy with your body? Are you satisfied with the food you eat?
I am of complete different mindset. I cant wait to be in maintenance! My inspiration are so many ladies on here who are strong, eat well(a lot actually) and lift!!0 -
Okay there have been a lot of posts since I last checked this so I feel the need to say some things.
I find it sort of rude that you are telling me to go to sparkteens.com I did just turn 18 in August so I am a young 18 year old.
Also I didn't lose weight to be skinnier than others I lost weight because I felt like crap and had no confidence when I was overweight.
I have gotten so much more confident since losing the weight, just not in the way I eat.
I am surrounded by people who do not eat properly. My 12 year old sister is underweight and doesn't eat enough, but my parents are doing nothing about it and allowing her to stay that thin and not forcing her to eat the amount she should be.
My mother also doesn't eat enough either, she doesn't start eating till around 2-3pm and sometimes doesn't eat till dinner, and tat's only if she thinks she has time to eat.
My dad is overweight so the fact that I pretty much eat as much as him is probably what's scaring me. I'm not gaining weight but the fact that my mom and little sister barely eat and are skinny and my eating habits are closer to my overweight fathers scare me.
I do need to talk to someone I know that but I sadly don't have the opportunity to go see anyone about it because of my current situation.
Also, I do have a disordered view of eating, but I don't have a medically diagnosed eating disorder.
first off, *high fives* for having the discipline to lose weight :flowerforyou:
Just a few thoughts, hopefully something helps in all this:
- looking at your diary, you need to move towards better educating yourself on nutrition. Right now you're eating a whole lot of sugary and processed foods. Trust me, you will feel loads better when you make the switch to wholesome, healthy ones (I know I did!). There are a ton of wonderful articles on mfp and other sources online. Not sure where to start? Ask! I bother the ladies who do figure competitions on my FL all the time about their routines and recommendations. They don't bite:)
- focus on how you feel and look in the mirror, not the number on the scale or clothing sizes. No one ever looked at a lady and though "dayum look at dem size 2 jeans!"
- get out of your own head! You seem very wrapped up with a misplaced sense of competition. It's excellent that you recognize your family's habits are unhealthy. That being said, stop feeling the need to compete with their poor standards. I'm competitive as well so I can understand the feeling, however I chose to challenge my own standards, not those of others.
Hoping that helps a tiny bit:) Best of luck!0 -
x3If eating less than others is something you took pride in, you have mental issues that need to be worked through with a professional.
x20 -
Also, I do have a disordered view of eating, but I don't have a medically diagnosed eating disorder.
news flash - you have an eating disorder..please get help0
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