An Ode to a Muffin

mister_universe

Muffins are my favorite food
Optimistically, I'd eat them nude
Devoid of frosting or decoration
Succulent cupcake of a nation

Starbucks sells them, I won't buy
Unpaid for, I'm more that guy
Cake, mere cake is something less
Krispy Kreme you say? too much a mess

Sweetest fresh and sweetest fare
A muffin I bring to my lair
Unbeknownst and unprepared
Sloppy virginal calories unspared

Another? A twin? Epic win!
Gladly, half hour on the Schwinn...
Even it it means that much

I'd never not, I'm far too clutch.

MB_Positif

I actually housed a bran muffin in my car on the way home from work today. I was starving. Oops. Didn't log my food yet either.

Muffins rock!!

Cali_Chica

Universe, I need your helpy

Revoking the strikes upon my selfies

Bacon lovers and sammich makers
Reporting this self-portrait taker
All I get now are "olive" black notes
Vehemently scolding my latest cloak

Every pretty lady needs a true friend x


PS. I love Starbucks muffins

MB_Positif

Universe, I need your helpy

Revoking the strikes upon my selfies

Bacon lovers and sammich makers
Reporting this self-portrait taker
All I get now are "olive" black notes
Vehemently scolding my latest cloak

Every pretty lady needs a true friend x

Stink...I didn't realize I was supposed to write a poem.

I like your style girl.

Cali_Chica

Universe, I need your helpy

Revoking the strikes upon my selfies

Bacon lovers and sammich makers
Reporting this self-portrait taker
All I get now are "olive" black notes
Vehemently scolding my latest cloak

Every pretty lady needs a true friend x

Stink...I didn't realize I was supposed to write a poem.

I like your style girl.

Thanks. Its part of an extensive friend request application.

Ms_Hiit

is it truth?!?!

Rosplosion

*tear*

That was beautiful, man.

MB_Positif

is it truth?!?!

Haters gonna hate...

J/k

Ms_Hiit

is it truth?!?!

Haters gonna hate...

J/k

:-) it's hard being a cupcake fan

MB_Positif

is it truth?!?!

Haters gonna hate...

J/k

Lol, I like all baked goods. Mmmm




:-) it's hard being a cupcake fan

MB_Positif

Universe, I need your helpy

Revoking the strikes upon my selfies

Bacon lovers and sammich makers
Reporting this self-portrait taker
All I get now are "olive" black notes
Vehemently scolding my latest cloak

Every pretty lady needs a true friend x

Stink...I didn't realize I was supposed to write a poem.

I like your style girl.

Thanks. Its part of an extensive friend request application.

Be patient young paduwan.

mister_universe

Universe, I need your helpy

Revoking the strikes upon my selfies

Bacon lovers and sammich makers
Reporting this self-portrait taker
All I get now are "olive" black notes
Vehemently scolding my latest cloak

Every pretty lady needs a true friend x


PS. I love Starbucks muffins

Immediately shall I answer your call

My Batman suit is down the hall
Mostly latex is its construction
Leather, you see, has too much friction
Think my butt got stuck, rescue yourself

2stepscloser

You love muffin tops too, Mr U?

I've got the best muffin top around

Cali_Chica

Universe, I need your helpy

Revoking the strikes upon my selfies

Bacon lovers and sammich makers
Reporting this self-portrait taker
All I get now are "olive" black notes
Vehemently scolding my latest cloak

Every pretty lady needs a true friend x


PS. I love Starbucks muffins

Immediately shall I answer your call

My Batman suit is down the hall
Mostly latex is its construction
Leather, you see, has too much friction
Think my butt got stuck, rescue yourself

Bahahaha
ROFL
A laughing emoji inserted here
Too funny

mister_universe

You love muffin tops too, Mr U?

I've got the best muffin top around

I love yours. NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM. :bigsmile:

PikaKnight

mister_universe

*bows*

Thank you. Thank you very much.

SerenaFisher

Muffins are ugly dry cupcakes
I dare you to speculate.
My words not said with hate,
But to frosting doth I relate.

:blushing: it

pseudomuffin

:blushing:

Jonesingmucho

Waking up with a muffin
Makes me happy and I'm not bluffing
But I'm on low carbs so I can't partake
A muffiny goodness I must forsake


So I will live through you
Describe each taste
I'll enjoy your eating
And keep my waist.

mister_universe

:blushing:

Ode to a Pseudomuffin

It's not quite a muffin, though hard it tries
It looks more like a librarian disguise
Sexy perhaps, but perhaps not, too
She looks just like a pseudo would do

Tromping the line between this here and that
She tromps all the lines til they're all gone flat
My goodness galore, she's confusing 's can be
Can't write anymore, she's no sense to me

Some doctor out there, he'll love her to death
Likely he'll wean her from synthetic meth
Take her home, make her love, be surprised to find
His own Pseudomuffin is one of a kind

Ivey05131980

I honestly thought this was going to be about

pseudomuffin

:blushing:

Ode to a Pseudomuffin

It's not quite a muffin, though hard it tries
It looks more like a librarian disguise
Sexy perhaps, but perhaps not, too
She looks just like a pseudo would do

Tromping the line between this here and that
She tromps all the lines til they're all gone flat
My goodness galore, she's confusing 's can be
Can't write anymore, she's no sense to me

Some doctor out there, he'll love her to death
Likely he'll wean her from synthetic meth
Take her home, make her love, be surprised to find
His own Pseudomuffin is one of a kind

Hahaha! I love it, thanks Mr. U!

The synthetic meth makes so much sense now, I wondered why I wasn't losing any weight... Time to go break some kneecaps! :flowerforyou:

RN514

Super nerd strikes again! :laugh:

Cali_Chica

OP appears to be hiding things in the muffins. Sneaky.

mister_universe

OP appears to be hiding things in the muffins. Sneaky.

Well that was a rather unflattering representation.

UsedToBeHusky

Sloppy virginal calories unspared

I had to read that line twice.

bethanp

I'm just gonna leave this here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHtWEH0euh4

It's all about the muffin tops!

neandermagnon

is it truth?!?!

no it's not. Maybe this is a USA / UK difference or something, but there's a big difference between a muffin and a cupcake. A muffin is much bigger for starters, and it has a different texture and a whole lot more fruit and/or chocolate chips. Preferably served hot so the chocolate chips are all melted.

Cali_Chica

OP appears to be hiding things in the muffins. Sneaky.

Well that was a rather unflattering representation.

mister_universe

Ode to an Androgynous Nurse

What precisely is an RN514?
Does it lean happy or does it fall mean?
Is it's reality as a young drag queen?

All of these questions befall me, but still
I tease and prod it until it's quite shrill
Yet it makes me bite into a little blue pill

If it's a man, I'll buy it a purse
A shiny new, leathery, polished up murse
In hopes of removing my humpty dance curse

If it is not, I'd nuzzle it's feckles
From the tip of it's feet all up to its neckles
Overlook even the bama-est of heckles

Pasty and pale, her elders were seamen
And farmers and drinkers and assuredly freemen
From such a stock her skin it is beamin'

And yet I'm not sure, the face doesn't matches
Her username sadly, it lacks and it catches
Though once was a doctor called Adams, Patches

Perhaps if I enunciated
And removed my thoughts from the fornicated
This question of names would be placated

Until question's at rest, sweet torment continues
Carrying on in the sanest of venues
A hospital bed, replete with bad menus