Ironic motivation

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Replies

  • Thorbjornn
    Thorbjornn Posts: 329 Member
    First up it sounds like what you need is discipline, not motivation. You stick with the weights presumably because you enjoy them, so it's not hard. But no one really enjoys eating at a calorie deficit, so you need to find some discipline to stick with it. Set your goals, decide what you need to do to meet them, and then do it day after day. One day at a time.

    Wow, it's like you have a tap into my brain. :laugh: The weights are indeed no problem.
    Forget about fad diets. You're a classic candidate for IIFYM if ever there was one. You've already seen that you cannot stick to restrictive diets. I'm sure certain people at BB.com were getting fed up with you because you kept doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. That tends to frustrate people and they eventually lash out. Check out this post and follow the links therein to learn about setting your macros and taking a rational, reasonable approach to weight loss -

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants?hl=sexypants

    Then head over to the Eat, Train, Progress group for some no-nonsense advice from a couple of our most knowledgeable and valuable members.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/10067-eat-train-progress-

    Thanks a lot. I have my food diary here, and I'm tracking daily. I used the Katch-McArdle calculator to get my calories. A few other people verified it with me. It's probably about as close to right as I can get it. I'm keeping macros at about 40/35/25 p/c/f. I've seen IIFYM, but I never looked at it closely. I'm going to check these links out to see if what I have is close. As a side note, I'm actually the one who gets frustrated with myself, asking the same question and expecting a different answer. So you're probably right about the issue. Hard to see the forest for the trees sometimes.

    Edit: the IIFYM calculator at http://iifym.com/iifym-calculator/ has me flipping the fat and carbs. Carbs are a problem for me, being insulin resistant, so it's best if I lower them a bit.
  • marciebrian
    marciebrian Posts: 853 Member
    who cares what one a-hole says about anything. ignore him/her and move on. your life/your challenges/your ability to take hold of this on your own (along with your MFP friends of course).

    Good luck!!!!
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    We are not on that forum, so we do not know the entire story. If you really want to reach your goals, do it.

    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=159141741&page=2
  • Thorbjornn
    Thorbjornn Posts: 329 Member
    who cares what one a-hole says about anything. ignore him/her and move on. your life/your challenges/your ability to take hold of this on your own (along with your MFP friends of course).

    Good luck!!!!

    Thanks. :happy:
  • Thorbjornn
    Thorbjornn Posts: 329 Member
    We are not on that forum, so we do not know the entire story. If you really want to reach your goals, do it.

    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=159141741&page=2

    Yep.
  • ILoveGingerNut
    ILoveGingerNut Posts: 367 Member
    On the forum you'll find both people who will support you and people who... er... won't. So don't be obsessed with it. Befriend the people you like, keep in touch with them, and spend the rest of your time doing something you enjoy. Read a book, play videogames, try a new sport, visit a friend, climb a mountain, do some gardening... Just don't spend too much time on forums, for your own sanity!
  • Thorbjornn
    Thorbjornn Posts: 329 Member
    Just don't spend too much time on forums, for your own sanity!

    You are right. I do back off and go underground at times. I rarely get on at night anymore, it's mostly at work because I sit at a terminal all day monitoring computer systems (I'm a sys admin). The past week or so I've been on more than I had been in a while.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    If he feels that way about you, I'd suspect others there might too.

    That's okay though because you seem certain you are out eating your workouts and so don't really need a site like that as much as you need a cal counting one like this to get your eating on par with your workouts.

    Good luck and just know that here starting useless threads asking the same questions over and over is frowned on as well.

    I suspect you wont' do that here though for 2 reasons. 1) you have already been admonished over there for it and probably are smart enough to take the advice and 2) you might have been frustratingly asking the same questions over and over wondering what was missing and finally realized it's your diet.

    Hope you have more success here while continuing your workouts eating at the right TDEE should reveal what I'd imagine after years on a bodybuilding site are lot's and lots of muscles.
  • PinkNinjaLaura
    PinkNinjaLaura Posts: 3,202 Member
    The numbers I read vary, but it's 70-80% your food & 20-30% your workouts. Bonus for you, your workouts are already in line so you aren't starting from scratch. You just need to get your eating in line. Hopefully switching up your macros helps. Being diligent helps. Sticking with it even when you don't feel like it helps. Eventually it really does get easier.

    Edit to clarify that losing weight is 80% diet & 20% workouts. You can't out-exercise a bad diet, unfortunately.
  • JamieBeth19
    JamieBeth19 Posts: 47 Member
    The old quote rings true, "Before you diagnose yourself with low self esteem or depression, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by *kitten*." Today you were :) So what if you are slow at getting started on your weight loss journey, the first step is to want to make the change and it seems that you do! A cheap suggestion to start you off is to turn on some music and dance! I have several line dance songs on my ipod which helps because I can just steal other peoples moves ( I'm not a great freestyler). Good luck on your journey!
  • Thorbjornn
    Thorbjornn Posts: 329 Member
    If he feels that way about you, I'd suspect others there might too.

    Good luck and just know that here starting useless threads asking the same questions over and over is frowned on as well.

    I suspect you wont' do that here though for 2 reasons. 1) you have already been admonished over there for it and probably are smart enough to take the advice and 2) you might have been frustratingly asking the same questions over and over wondering what was missing and finally realized it's your diet.

    Actually he's the only one who's ever done it. Other long time regulars have always supported each other, including me. Understand, I've been a member there since Dec. 2002. Things change over the course of 11 years, and obviously I'm not the same person I was 11 years ago (nor is anyone else). We've all seen each other change, get hurt, recover, post about our personal lives, even asking for and talking about family and marital advice, divorces, deaths of loved ones. It's really like a dysfunctional but affectionate family, with the point being that some stories get told over and over. I have indeed changed, despite him saying I haven't. One look at my progress pics (over there, which he can see) tells the tale. That's what I find totally baffling. I don't know if this will display properly... http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/Minotaur/
    Hope you have more success here while continuing your workouts eating at the right TDEE should reveal what I'd imagine after years on a bodybuilding site are lot's and lots of muscles.

    Thanks, I hope to see more of the muscles too. :smile:
  • Thorbjornn
    Thorbjornn Posts: 329 Member
    Thanks. :smile:
    The old quote rings true, "Before you diagnose yourself with low self esteem or depression, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by *kitten*." Today you were :) So what if you are slow at getting started on your weight loss journey, the first step is to want to make the change and it seems that you do! A cheap suggestion to start you off is to turn on some music and dance! I have several line dance songs on my ipod which helps because I can just steal other peoples moves ( I'm not a great freestyler). Good luck on your journey!

    Conversely, I think it was Ann Landers who said that 1 in every 4 persons is mentally unbalanced, if you think of your 3 best friends and/or relatives, and they seem OK, then you're the one. :laugh:
  • ILoveGingerNut
    ILoveGingerNut Posts: 367 Member
    Happy to help if I can. Don't worry too much about funny routines and focus on eating in a healthy way, with proper meals and proper portition sizes and avoiding binges. Weight loss will come as a consequence.
    http://www.fitbie.com/slideshow/best-ways-to-lose-weight
  • Thorbjornn
    Thorbjornn Posts: 329 Member
    Happy to help if I can. Don't worry too much about funny routines and focus on eating in a healthy way, with proper meals and proper portition sizes and avoiding binges. Weight loss will come as a consequence.
    http://www.fitbie.com/slideshow/best-ways-to-lose-weight

    Thanks. :smile:
  • Stripeness
    Stripeness Posts: 511 Member
    You can do it just befriend those that will have a positive influence and ditch the others. :smile:

    The funny thing is that out of a 3 page thread, there were only 2 negative posts... his and another one agreeing with him. Now, why is it that we let 1 negative comment out of 100 positive and encouraging ones get to us? Probably because it's public humiliation, and the other people have too much class to turn it into a p' ing contest. But we forget that. They just take it for the ignorance it is.

    Agree with this advice. And I'm gonna say one other thing. Normally the kinda thing said only over a 3rd single-malt, to a good friend, w/o eye contact. Dude, you mention you've been working at this (weightloss) for years. And clearly, you're <winces> vulnerable to at least some types of negativity - meaning that it throws you off your best game.

    Since you haven't been able to just focus on the positive, it's time to take a deeper look at what's going on. I don't recommend a care-and-share <shudders> on a forum. Rather, you need to think about this in the privacy of your own head, or with a trusted friend. Or counselor, if you don't have said trusted friend - "warm" lines can be really useful if you need a free, positive, confidential perspective.

    You want to be successful in reaching your goals. Yet, you keep letting yourself get stopped. Why? Answer that, FIX that, so that you can 1. finally reach goal, and 2. be HAPPY once you get there (not feeling empty b/c there are still occasional haters).

    Wishing you all success. Make 2014 your year!
  • ILoveGingerNut
    ILoveGingerNut Posts: 367 Member
    Happy to help if I can. Don't worry too much about funny routines and focus on eating in a healthy way, with proper meals and proper portition sizes and avoiding binges. Weight loss will come as a consequence.
    http://www.fitbie.com/slideshow/best-ways-to-lose-weight

    Thanks. :smile:

    No probs ;)
  • nomeejerome
    nomeejerome Posts: 2,616 Member
    We are not on that forum, so we do not know the entire story. If you really want to reach your goals, do it.

    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=159141741&page=2

    Yep.

    Hope you reach your goals.
  • Thorbjornn
    Thorbjornn Posts: 329 Member
    nomeejerome wrote: »
    Hope you reach your goals.

    Thanks very much. I've taken an oath and made an unbreakable promise that I will work to reach them. All I asked in return is the strength and guidance to soldier on. :)

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