Best way to get laid?

24

Replies

  • fishnbrah
    fishnbrah Posts: 550
    You should probably just accept that you'll have to pay to play until your game improves.

    whats your price?

    Couple dimes more than your mom, brah.

    your momma is so ugly... well... look at you
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    get married. I can't keep her off me. :\


    Pfffft.

    Or the opposite will happen.

    Or won't. :huh:

    Just remember Marriage is the leading cause of divorce....

    and here I thought it was fights over money. :ohwell:
  • greeneyes0809
    greeneyes0809 Posts: 422 Member
    Roofies?
  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
    You should probably just accept that you'll have to pay to play until your game improves.

    whats your price?

    Couple dimes more than your mom, brah.

    your momma is so ugly... well... look at you

    Hmm... butthurt is never attractive. That might be part of your problem.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Wait until she's asleep and dead horse her.

    If only this worked on a man as well as it does a woman ..

    Aren't all guys...uh, ready at various times while they sleep? Especially in the mornings? Or is that just me?

    *ahem*

    Never mind then. Nothing to see here. Move along.

    Move along.
  • KateK8LoseW8
    KateK8LoseW8 Posts: 824 Member
    Find a rebellious-looking freshman girl at a public university who grew up in an ultra-conservative religious household.


    Source:
    <
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    Easy, Go to a bar, start talking to a girl, tell you are gay and have never been with a woman but for some reason you feel attracted to her.

    BOOM. You will get laid in the parking lot.
  • mrskatbevins
    mrskatbevins Posts: 41
    Find a friend who is a girl. Fall in love for said girl, buy her flowers, take her out, make her laugh. BOOM Clothes fall off.
  • fishnbrah
    fishnbrah Posts: 550
    Easy, Go to a bar, start talking to a girl, tell you are gay and have never been with a woman but for some reason you feel attracted to her.

    BOOM. You will get laid in the parking lot.

    could this really work?
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    You should probably just accept that you'll have to pay to play until your game improves.

    whats your price?

    Couple dimes more than your mom, brah.

    your momma is so ugly... well... look at you

    Yep, so ugly you'd like to pay to have sex with me.
  • JONZ64
    JONZ64 Posts: 1,280 Member
    If you can lick your eyebrows...

    Shouldn't be a problem:tongue:
  • MacInCali
    MacInCali Posts: 1,012 Member
    Wait until she's asleep and dead horse her.

    If only this worked on a man as well as it does a woman ..

    Aren't all guys...uh, ready at various times while they sleep? Especially in the mornings? Or is that just me?

    *ahem*

    Never mind then. Nothing to see here. Move along.

    Move along.

    One would think, right? :huh:
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    Easy, Go to a bar, start talking to a girl, tell you are gay and have never been with a woman but for some reason you feel attracted to her.

    BOOM. You will get laid in the parking lot.

    could this really work?

    OH YEAH, it would not only work, but work multiple times, in the same evening even. :wink:
  • DanIsACyclingFool
    DanIsACyclingFool Posts: 417 Member
    Easy, Go to a bar, start talking to a girl, tell you are gay and have never been with a woman but for some reason you feel attracted to her.

    BOOM. You will get laid in the parking lot.

    Can't do that. The whole telling her I'm gay part. Can't.
  • DanIsACyclingFool
    DanIsACyclingFool Posts: 417 Member
    Wait until she's asleep and dead horse her.

    If only this worked on a man as well as it does a woman ..

    Aren't all guys...uh, ready at various times while they sleep? Especially in the mornings? Or is that just me?

    *ahem*

    Never mind then. Nothing to see here. Move along.

    Move along.


    Never ever ever woken up with unexpected readiness. I maintain operational readiness at DEFCON 3, meaning I am ready, willing, and able to respond, but no missiles are armed until there is a reason to arm them.
  • LankyYankee
    LankyYankee Posts: 260 Member
    Easy, Go to a bar, start talking to a girl, tell you are gay and have never been with a woman but for some reason you feel attracted to her.

    BOOM. You will get laid in the parking lot.

    True Story. Get this woman a wing woman medal.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    Easy, Go to a bar, start talking to a girl, tell you are gay and have never been with a woman but for some reason you feel attracted to her.

    BOOM. You will get laid in the parking lot.

    could this really work?

    you'd at least get to second base
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    Easy, Go to a bar, start talking to a girl, tell you are gay and have never been with a woman but for some reason you feel attracted to her.

    BOOM. You will get laid in the parking lot.

    Can't do that. The whole telling her I'm gay part. Can't.

    LOL, oh if you had not been laid in a while, and wanted laid bad enough, you could.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Wait until she's asleep and dead horse her.

    If only this worked on a man as well as it does a woman ..

    Aren't all guys...uh, ready at various times while they sleep? Especially in the mornings? Or is that just me?

    *ahem*

    Never mind then. Nothing to see here. Move along.

    Move along.


    Never ever ever woken up with unexpected readiness. I maintain operational readiness at DEFCON 3, meaning I am ready, willing, and able to respond, but no missiles are armed until there is a reason to arm them.

    How sad for your partner.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    Find a friend who is a girl. Fall in love for said girl, buy her flowers, take her out, make her laugh. BOOM Clothes fall off.

    way to help keep up the hope of moving out of the friendzone. :laugh:
  • sassypants0923
    sassypants0923 Posts: 7,188 Member
    Ask?
  • DanIsACyclingFool
    DanIsACyclingFool Posts: 417 Member
    Easy, Go to a bar, start talking to a girl, tell you are gay and have never been with a woman but for some reason you feel attracted to her.

    BOOM. You will get laid in the parking lot.

    Can't do that. The whole telling her I'm gay part. Can't.

    LOL, oh if you had not been laid in a while, and wanted laid bad enough, you could.

    I meet all your criteria. Still CAN'T.
  • jennyrebekka
    jennyrebekka Posts: 626 Member
    figure out how to straddle the line between confidence and cocky - then tell her to straddle your c*ck
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  • fishnbrah
    fishnbrah Posts: 550
    figure out how to straddle the line between confidence and cocky - then tell her to straddle your c*ck

    boner achieved.
  • jrobber999
    jrobber999 Posts: 2
    Women love to be teased, do it right though. Remember, if she gives you a playful slap, you're doing it right! Build the anticipation, always leave them hanging and wanting more. Just play it cool and act somewhat dis-interested.

    Best of luck my Man!
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  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    the rape jokes in this thread are really disappointing

    not funny :frown:
  • DanIsACyclingFool
    DanIsACyclingFool Posts: 417 Member
    Wait until she's asleep and dead horse her.

    If only this worked on a man as well as it does a woman ..

    Aren't all guys...uh, ready at various times while they sleep? Especially in the mornings? Or is that just me?

    *ahem*

    Never mind then. Nothing to see here. Move along.

    Move along.


    Never ever ever woken up with unexpected readiness. I maintain operational readiness at DEFCON 3, meaning I am ready, willing, and able to respond, but no missiles are armed until there is a reason to arm them.

    How sad for your partner.

    Whatever.

    There's no reason to be at DEFCON 1 unless there is a reason. Not to say it's can't go from DEFCON 3 to DEFCON 1 at the drop of a <insert apparel here>.
  • Rerun201
    Rerun201 Posts: 125 Member
    Maybe Darwin was right.

    I'm guessing it just isn't meant to be.
This discussion has been closed.

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