5 Hidden Costs of the Dating Market

devil_in_a_blue_dress

Op, may your imaginary hidden costs keep you single forever.

midwestmixtape

I don't know who you're dating, but none of these "costs" have affected me. I admire my current girlfriend for how much money she DOESN'T spend and how much she DOESN'T care about whether I have/spend money. I offered to take her to a movie over Xmas and she said it would be a waste of money, so we cooked at home and had netflix. This isn't after years of dating, it's been just a few months long distance! It's sad that people stereotype all women as shallow money-hungry fiends, that's kinda how OP came across.

If you're that concerned about money, find a partner who shares your values. They are out there!

seltzermint555

Reading that (yes I read it all...I like long posts even when they're loco), I got an image in my mind of the kind of woman that would be obtained if the OP overcame all of those "hidden costs" and she's pretty freakin' awful. Materialistic in an extreme and easily impressed by flashy shiny things and so quick to subscribe to every cliché and stereotype. I can picture life in 5 or 10 years for that couple...miserable and unfulfilling.

Guys who are smart, funny, handsome, positive, and good in the bedroom don't seem to have any difficulty. I guess it trumps all of that other stuff.

seltzermint555

I don't know who you're dating, but none of these "costs" have affected me. I admire my current girlfriend for how much money she DOESN'T spend and how much she DOESN'T care about whether I have/spend money. I offered to take her to a movie over Xmas and she said it would be a waste of money, so we cooked at home and had netflix. This isn't after years of dating, it's been just a few months long distance! It's sad that people stereotype all women as shallow money-hungry fiends, that's kinda how OP came across.

If you're that concerned about money, find a partner who shares your values. They are out there!

While I don't wanna know how you are in the bedroom I think you just proved my point ;-)

Cranquistador

Is...is this for real?

Lleldiranne

Maybe I've been married waaay to long.

[Well, no, because I love it.]







But I don't know that any of these seemed to be determining factors when I was dating. If we got along, laughed together, enjoyed being together, and had plenty to talk about, I couldn't have cared less what phone he had or if he had a few extra pounds or any of those "hidden costs" (okay, I did swoon over a boyfriend's new car once - a classic '67 Mustang - but it wasn't a make or break thing)

midwestmixtape

Here's my #1 dating tip for guys: Don't be a *kitten*. Women don't like bitter, angry, misogynists who view dating as a battle or competition. Relax, be kind, be sincere, appreciate and recognize that woman are complex individuals just like you, not faceless, interchangeable prey to be stereotyped and then resented when they don't do exactly what you want. I've read some of those stupid "How to get women" sites and they're laughable. They portray women as basically non-human safes that can be cracked with certain words or actions so that men can get to the goodies inside. Having the right car, clothes, neighborhood, etc. is not going to get you a woman if you're a shallow, disrespectful, objectifying jerk that only sees women as gatekeepers of sex.

This is the best thing I have read on the internet in a long time. Perfectly worded.

wheird

Is...is this for real?

Caught in a landslide

akoivisto

Don't be to proud of this list of Hidden Costs of Dating you've constructed. The ability to destroy my checking account is insignificant next to the power of Marriage!

wolverine66

Is...is this for real?

orange is my favorite fanta

Some_Watery_Tart

Is...is this for real?

Caught in a landslide

KrazyDaizy

In developed nations, in particular in the USA, more women are earning Bachelor's Degrees than men, which has been impacting the dating marketplace. Single childless women in their 20s in major metropolitan areas have been out earning their male peers of the same age, having wide ranging implications.

TLDR the entire thing, but this rocks ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ women are awesome, that is all. Keep up the good work ladies and only date men who deserve you. You know, like men who don't think about dating too much and instead think about how to make you laugh.

i read a blog once that said women don't like to laugh... so, i'm calling shenanigans on your advice!

Dangit. The blogs bring the truth out again. Just as quck as my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. *cries and sobs (like all women do without laughing) in the corner*

devil_in_a_blue_dress

It's sad that people stereotype all women as shallow money-hungry fiends, that's kinda how OP came across.

You must be unfamiliar with OP's "work" in the forums.

kyleekay10

BusyRaeNOTBusty

Pretty sure those are just some of the costs of being a successful adult. I've been married for 10 years.

1. I have a smart phone. It was $100 with my contract. Most adults have cell phones as do many children.

2. I have a nice dwelling in a major metropolitan area.

3. I go to the gym and buy cosmetics. I wear cosmetics as often as I did when I was single (which really isn't that often).

4. I have an adequate vehicle and it's well maintained.

5. I have a bachelor's degree AND a master's degree (although of course you can be successful without a degree).

Hauntinglyfit

I guess people who can't get dates spend time writting tl/dr stuff about dating.

Slippyslope

Coming back to read this when I have time. Please don't anybody, do anything, to get this locked and removed. I did say please.

CallMeCupcakeDammit

I didn't read the whole thing because my attention span is pretty short, but I wouldn't care if a guy had a smartphone. I would actually admire him for not having one.

I have a friend who makes lots of money, wears expensive clothes, drives an expensive car, made thousands of dollars' in upgrades to his townhouse, but can't understand why he can't find a girlfriend. Probably because he cares more about his "stuff" than anyone else does. As long as you don't pick me up in a ratty t-shirt, cut-off sweats and Crocs on our first date, I'm cool.

_chiaroscuro

CallMeCupcakeDammit

you forgot to factor in the cost of roofies. they are a necessary expense for those who make lists like this.

They should've put a like button in the forums, not the news feed!

mister_universe

Hi CupcakeDammit! :flowerforyou:

CallMeCupcakeDammit

Hi CupcakeDammit! :flowerforyou:

Hi Mister Universe! :smooched:

Loss4TheWin

This post makes me so sad for you OP. If it's a joke and you're trolling, it's not super humorous...it's just sad. Seriously, it makes me puppy dog face. The only reason you do stuff like maintain your car and have a nice phone and get an education and take care of yourself is because you're looking for a woman...but you're alone. There's so much desperation and so much missing all the basics to an actual deep meaningful relationship. It makes me so sad. I'm sorry. I hope you find your way.

If you're just trolling, can you be funny next time?

RinnyLush

Here's my #1 dating tip for guys: Don't be a *kitten*. Women don't like bitter, angry, misogynists who view dating as a battle or competition. Relax, be kind, be sincere, appreciate and recognize that woman are complex individuals just like you, not faceless, interchangeable prey to be stereotyped and then resented when they don't do exactly what you want. I've read some of those stupid "How to get women" sites and they're laughable. They portray women as basically non-human safes that can be cracked with certain words or actions so that men can get to the goodies inside. Having the right car, clothes, neighborhood, etc. is not going to get you a woman if you're a shallow, disrespectful, objectifying jerk that only sees women as gatekeepers of sex.

This comment kind of makes me want to date YOU.

RivenV

Please allow me to respond with at least as much sense as was present in the original post...

gmthisfeller

Guys who are smart, funny, handsome, positive, and good in the bedroom don't seem to have any difficulty. I guess it trumps all of that other stuff.

Women who are smart, funny, and positive -- appearances and bedroom behavior aside -- bring to the table three of the four or five most important characteristics for a great date, and a great relationship.

TheSlorax

OP, although you are not a very popular member around here, I try to always at least see your standpoint and what thought process you use to form your opinions, even though doing so generally makes my skin crawl. You're an intelligent guy, so my question is this: why not try and use your intellect and energy in getting to know girls in a manner that will qualify them for a potential relationship? I can assure you that some women have qualities you might find appealing enough to have a relationship with. Am I incorrect in assuming that you spend much of your time and energy in finding flings and one night stands? Have a few bad relationship experiences formed your current perception of monogamy?

Mr_Bad_Example

OP, just save yourself the money and follow this approach next time.

MoreBean13

You forgot the cost of unplanned pregnancies. Each kid costs $250k, since it keeps happening to you and all.

ryry_

OP has figured out the super secret costs (AKA being an adult with discretionary income) of dating. The super secret personality traits that don't invoke their gag reflex still elude him