Why did you dump the person above you?

shiningpotential

She wouldn't let me go to the strip clubs.

Leonidas_meets_Spartacus

She spent all the money on strip clubs

Groovyca2022

He wouldn't strip for me.

liftmeup1

She wanted to strip for me. Had to tell her I was taken.....lol

funforsports

Never let me get dressed again after stripping.

FabulousFantasticFifty

He didnt like being a Nudist

northbanu

She constantly clipped her toenails in bed

Alisontheice

Never found the right place for clipping his toenails.

FabulousFantasticFifty

She had no eyes behind those shades

OhhNiff

Ate that dude's toenail clippings.

funforsports

Always drinking on the job

FabulousFantasticFifty

made me go to rehab

mybeesknees

Drank all of my Fanta sodas. Not a single drop left for me.

FabulousFantasticFifty

would always start buzzing every time I called her honey

funforsports

Had to kill every bee she saw

OhhNiff

I mean just look at him...ew.

DenDweller

"Opposite Day" got real old, real fast.

OhhNiff

I really liked him. (It's still opposite day)

mybeesknees

Was in love with someone else.

OhhNiff

Didn't believe me when I said I only loved her.

northbanu

She refused to get along with my wife

Groovyca2022

I found out he was married and got along better with her.

northbanu

Oh my god, the BREATHING! Constantly, day and night. Inhale, exhale, inhale exhale. Over and over again. Just couldn't take it anymore.

OhhNiff

He left his beard trimmings in the sink.

sw33tp3a11

She never drank in water

FabulousFantasticFifty

She was missing the top half of her head

LadyRN76

She wouldn't share her pillows.

OhhNiff

She shared her pillows with EVERYONE. Hmph.

LadyRN76

My pillows don't get shared "Niff...you know that...

They can look..but they can't touch...that's why I carry a taser...and a .38 if that doesn't work

OhhNiff

But technically speaking I didn't dump you either, so just play along.