Help feeding teenagers

EyesOnSize8

I am a pescatarian mom of four meat eating kids (plus meat eating hubby). Our arrangement is that they eat what I cook (or don't...their choice)...I cook meatless about three or four nights a week. Usually some kind of bean or veg soup, lentil loaf, breakfast thing or veg-based casserole like a veg shepard's pie, veg pot-pie, veg curry or stir-fry. On the nights I make meat for them, I just eat all the yummy veg sides, which is a great healthy meal for me. I am with you on the rice/starch challenge...there are some yummy quinoa recipes out there (and prepared mixes as well). I started mixing whole wheat or gluten-free pasta in with the regular stuff at increasing ratios and the kids have warmed up to that (I just serve myself less.) How about doing sweet potatoes more often (baked or fries)?

Good luck and I give you credit for trying to gently move them in a more healthy direction.

blgerig

I live with my boyfriend and his teenagers. My boyfriend wants to eat healthily and I am a week into 1,200 a day and Insanity.

My trouble comes when preparing meals for the kids. They don't like brown pasta or brown rice, prawns and fish in general are a no no for them. So I usually end up preparing two meals, eg a prawn and salmon brown pasta meal and then a chicken and white pasta one.

Does anyone have any suggestions for low calorie meals which are not loaded with carbs for fussy eaters??

Dinner a Love Story has a lot of really good ideas about creating "deconstructed meals" aka something that can be broken into several components and the picky eaters can then eat around what they don't like and you can eat the healthier options. I have liked all of the recipes I have made from her blog and cookbook!

http://www.dinneralovestory.com/convincing-the-kids-to-eat-a-recap/
http://www.dinneralovestory.com/category/deconstructing-dinner/

Also, personally I wouldn't be able to do Insanity or another high impact workout only eating 1200/day unless I was at least eating my exercise calories back. Just a FYI that if you aren't feeling well/energetic you might want to consider bumping the calories!

fannyfrost

My daughter was a bit of a pain in the butt with food too. The rule when she was old enough to cook for herself, if she didn't like what I was cooking she was perfectly welcome to make her own food or have cereal for dinner. I cook, you don't want it, then you get your own food. I am not and never will be a short order cook.

However, when making pasta, I would do whole wheat for me and regular for hubby and daughter. that didn't take much extra effort. I used to do mashed potatos a lot too, they are healthy for everyone. I didn't use butter, just a little milk and everyone who wanted butter could add. I also like mashed sweet potato.

FYI, if you have a Trader Joe's near you, they have a Frozen rice that is awesome. I buy the frozen stuff and it gets nuked, so its so easy. Daughter actually eats the brown now, but for long time she only did white.

My brother was a really picky eater and very skinny. I did a lot of the cooking as a teen in our house, mom worked, I would make a meal for everyone and brother got something completely different 99% of the time.

knittnponder

I won't cook special things just because they're too picky to eat what I've made. They can cook their own dinner if they don't like what's presented. I have more food restrictions than the rest of my family so when I cook it's usually geared toward what I can eat but I'll often make them a little something on the side, like pasta or potatoes. I taught my 13 year old son to make au gratin potatoes because I can't eat them but he missed them. Even my nine year old can cook herself some food so they aren't dependant on me.

seltzermint555

I feel like some of these posters don't get it.

If I cook something my boyfriends son doesn't like and won't eat. It's very simple he might take a bite or 2 of only the meat. Then say "I don't feel good I'm not hungry" throw away what's left on his plate. Which could have been left overs for someone else. After my boyfriend and I go to bed, the kid just eats junk food. Not healthy to fill up on doritos day after day

Unless the "kid" is working and buying his own Doritos, then why are they even in the house if you don't want him to eat them?

I guess I just don't get it. Toddlers who take 2 bites and get cranky, I understand. But flippin' teenagers should be able to buck up and eat a meal and parents (or even dad's girlfriend who cooks for them) should be able to communicate with the teens and figure out meal options that will work. I don't see why this is so complicated and difficult.

THIS. Permissiveness early leads to this type of behavior. When my kids were teenagers they darned well ate what we put in front of them and that's all there was to it. We didn't give them "choices" or "options". We didn't keep food we didn't want them to eat in the house, and we sure as heck didn't let them just throw the food on their plates in the garbage. They sat at the table until they ate it.

In my home it was different...I was never fed something and told I had to eat it. But starting from a very young age, I was open to most food but then had 2-3 things that seriously made me gag (raw tomatoes, yogurt, chicken legs) so it was understood that I did not have to eat those things, just like my parents did not have to eat things that made them gag/they really disliked. If I had acted all wishy washy and rude about the food that was cooked though, I would have been in trouble. That kind of disrespectful attitude was not allowed. By the time I was 14-15 I would have chosen pizza or Hot Pockets every night but I knew that wasn't healthy or feasible so I ate whatever was served within reason, or cooked myself scrambled eggs and toast (or something else simple).

arabianhorselover

I don't believe in making someone clean their plate. I have no idea if someone else is full, and I don't want to encourage someone to stuff themselves.

I feel like some of these posters don't get it.

If I cook something my boyfriends son doesn't like and won't eat. It's very simple he might take a bite or 2 of only the meat. Then say "I don't feel good I'm not hungry" throw away what's left on his plate. Which could have been left overs for someone else. After my boyfriend and I go to bed, the kid just eats junk food. Not healthy to fill up on doritos day after day

Unless the "kid" is working and buying his own Doritos, then why are they even in the house if you don't want him to eat them?

I guess I just don't get it. Toddlers who take 2 bites and get cranky, I understand. But flippin' teenagers should be able to buck up and eat a meal and parents (or even dad's girlfriend who cooks for them) should be able to communicate with the teens and figure out meal options that will work. I don't see why this is so complicated and difficult.

THIS. Permissiveness early leads to this type of behavior. When my kids were teenagers they darned well ate what we put in front of them and that's all there was to it. We didn't give them "choices" or "options". We didn't keep food we didn't want them to eat in the house, and we sure as heck didn't let them just throw the food on their plates in the garbage. They sat at the table until they ate it.

mccindy72

I don't believe in making someone clean their plate. I have no idea if someone else is full, and I don't want to encourage someone to stuff themselves.

I would agree with you, I was referring to the earlier comment of "they will take a couple of bites and then throw the rest away". I let my kids serve themselves. They had to take some of everything, and then eat some of everything they took. I had an issue about th stuffing themselves thing with my SIL, who used to force her kids to finish birthday cake at parties.

Confuzzled4ever

I feed my son what i make myself, except i add in a starch or bread or both for him. HOWEVER i make allowances for what he does not like. He's old enough to have a little say in things. Example.. he refuses to eat tomatoes and mushrooms. So i make his plate without them.

at 15 and 17 they are capable of cooking for themselves if they don't like it. My son is 14 and he makes himself breakfast and lunch and occasionally dinner. (sometimes he even cooks for me).. Also boyfriend can cook for his own kids if they are being too difficult.


ETA: If it's in the house my son is allowed to eat it pretty much. If I don't want him to eat something I don't buy it. He can either eat what I provide, starve or go buy what he wants himself. That's what I did when I was 17. I didn't like my mothers cooking much, so I often spent my hard earned cash on my own food.

seltzermint555

ETA: If it's in the house my son is allowed to eat it pretty much. If I don't want him to eat something I don't buy it. He can either eat what I provide, starve or go buy what he wants himself. That's what I did when I was 17. I didn't like my mothers cooking much, so I often spent my hard earned cash on my own food.

I did the same thing at times. I see so many posts on MFP from teens and college aged individuals who complain that they don't like the groceries their parents buy, or they refuse to purchase Quest bars, etc. I am always taken aback. When I was that age, before actually moving out on my own, I considered it like a "bonus" that I was able to eat with my parents most of the time since I already knew food was expensive.

splixi

So many posts here are just dishing you up a parenting lesson you didn't ask for! - there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to parenting and it is even harder when they aren't your children.

I think the idea of letting them serve up their own food might help a little- or even just having the ingredients out plain and letting them put on it what they like (cheese/sauces etc) that was everyone is happy

jwdieter

When I was a teenager, I was responsible for a lot of my own meals. Also exercised ~5 hours/day and ate everything in reach. And I was taught to eat anything, since I grew up with cultural diversity. So pretty much completely different situation. Good luck!

wahmx3

Totally agree....there are a few things my kids don't like and I agree to making something different those night, but it is only 2-3 times a month.

I wouldn't bother educating someone else's children, either. If he raised them to be that way, let him cook for them or let them buy their own food and cook for themselves - they're well past the age where they should be able to cook for themselves.

This.

Furthermore, you and your boyfriend are the adults. They are the children. They do what YOU say, not the other way around. In my house growing up, you either eat what Mom fixes or you don't eat. My mom was a single parent for 9 years before meeting my dad, so her two sons were taught the same way. Whatever you want, Mom will cook. Not when my dad became a permanent part of the picture. The boys refused to eat vegetables, roasts, steaks, pork chops... pretty much anything that wasn't a hot dog or mac n cheese. Couple nights without dinner fixed that right up and they realized healthy food is also delicious. So just make it the rule of the house, "If you don't like the food, don't eat it. Go hungry." They'll start eating what you fix.

fruttibiscotti

I have a picky husband, I call him the complainer. Don't tell them they are eating healthy just try to disguise it. Brown pasta put sauce on it. the rice, take your potion out and put a little butter and grated parm cheese on it, you'd be surprised how just that improves the flavor. I try to eat low carb but I make a starch every night for them, I just don't eat it. Mashed potatoes, add cauliflower to it they will never know! Grind up loads of veggies in a food processer and mix them in, they will never know! Tell them to try what ever you make, if they don't like don't eat it. I do this my whole family eats better and actually like the healthy stuff! good luck!

Oh my...
Finicky teenagers are going to detect cauliflower in mashed potatoes.

My husband would, and he'd be unhappy at my misrepresentation. And that's what it would be.

No they won't. I pulled this over on my nephews just a few weeks ago, and they didn't know. They even went back for seconds. After I told them they were astonished.

Kittyvicious1

I give my picky eaters 2 options: Eat was is being served or go to bed. Their choice.
They tend to eat rather than go to bed at 6 pm

lisst87

So many posts here are just dishing you up a parenting lesson you didn't ask for! - there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to parenting and it is even harder when they aren't your children.

I think the idea of letting them serve up their own food might help a little- or even just having the ingredients out plain and letting them put on it what they like (cheese/sauces etc) that was everyone is happy

thanks x

sunman00

I'm a parent (of 5), so I hear you and sympathise,

kids that age are still growing and developing so can pretty well eat what they want, the dangers at that age are sweets, crisps, full fat coke etc., so controlling those is most important

there's nothing wrong with white rice, it's a great food unless you start frying it, so they're good with that; and eating lean red meat & chicken is great protein so they're good with that too

re vegetables, I grew up hating cooked carrots, so I ate raw ones; putting a few mixed veg on their plates is a great idea,

& maybe put a few wholegrain cereals in the cupboard; plain cheerios are great

good luck

Greytfish

So many posts here are just dishing you up a parenting lesson you didn't ask for! - there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to parenting and it is even harder when they aren't your children.

I think the idea of letting them serve up their own food might help a little- or even just having the ingredients out plain and letting them put on it what they like (cheese/sauces etc) that was everyone is happy

It's not so much parenting advice, as perhaps shock at the disrepect and ingratitude. Growing up, I didn't love everything my parents cooked for meals (both cooked), but I ate them because your past palate is neither a predictor of health, nor your future one and if you don't expand it while young, it actually can become very difficult to expand later. Someone else worked to earn money, bought the food, and cooked it. Refusing that or requesting accommodations constantly is ungrateful and rude, let alone if the person doing the cooking for you is no relation to you and doing it out of an abundance of...something.

The cliche about starving children in Africa may be cliche, but it's true. Worse, while our kids are refusing items and filling their faces with chicken by product fingers, millions of children will go to sleep having not had a meal. Millions more will go to bed having only consumed their free school lunch. That's something we don't think about enough.

KentWhiteRabbit

I really don't understand the blunt and almost aggresive answers some people are giving. Ok, so in your opinions children should eat what is put before them, but that doesn't always work especially when implemented at a late stage. Being a step parent is tough at the best of times and having a confrontational "eat it or go without attitude" could have major repercussions on family life!

Also, for some children it's more than 'being picky' my son has sensory issues and it's taken me 16 years to get him to eat something close to a normal diet...even now he won't eat anything with runny sauce/gravy or any vegetable except peas/mange tout and similar and they have to be raw! Needless to say I cooked seperate meals for him for years. A health visitor once told me to put food in front of him and not allow anything else to eat until he'd eaten it, as children won't starve themselves. I followed her advice and after 48 hours gave in as he was very distressed and so was I! He was 3 at the time and the meal was sausages and mash.

Anyway, to the OP, my advice is similar to what's been said by a few people already.
1. Teach them to cook and provide them with basic ingredients to make simple meals - my son can now cook a few basic meals for himself and it helped him realise how hard I'd been working to keep him fed all these years.

2. Keep talking to them and showing them what you are cooking for yourselves, letting them try what you've made if they want to. My younger son has always tried what we're eating and at 14 he's a lover of all thing fishy.

3. Batch cook something they like (say lasange or similar) that you can freeze and microwave when needed. Maybe make this a cooking lesson for them too?

4. Sometimes you just have to cook two things, even if we're all having the same meal I have to cook gluten free pasta for my husband and normal white pasta for the rest of us, I'd prefer brown but I'm not cooking 3 lots! You just have to compromise sometimes.

KentWhiteRabbit

It's not so much parenting advice, as perhaps shock at the disrepect and ingratitude. Growing up, I didn't love everything my parents cooked for meals (both cooked), but I ate them because your past palate is neither a predictor of health, nor your future one and if you don't expand it while young, it actually can become very difficult to expand later.

This is so not true!

My parents had very simple tastes, they still have actually, and my brother and I spent the first 16 or so years of our life eating very simple meals of meat and veg. Casseroles, roasts ans such were almost all my Mum cooked, a treat was when Dad cooked a full English breakfast when Mum was working late. However as adults we both discovered a world of food...literally. We are both keen cooks and will eat (or at least try) just about anything. Your palette changes as you get older, in fact you start to lose the ability to taste strong flavours, so strong flavours that children dislike will likely be fine for them as they get older!

evileen99

Off the original topic; you should probably eat more than 1200 calories a day while doing Insanity. Even when not doing Insanity.