Help feeding teenagers

soldierofgod713

Not the racist thing... I say they can eat peanut butter and jelly if they dont like whats for dinner.

dragonflydi

I am a step parent to a rather picky 17 year old girl (as a result of being allowed to eat only what she wanted (and by this I mean nothing but junk) for her first 15 years) and over the last 2 years, we have come to a couple of "arrangements" in this area.

1) She goes shopping with us and picks what she would like to have incorporated into meals, with the expectation that it must be 'reasonably' healthy. For every 4-5 healthy items she selects (chicken, spinach, pork chops, green beans, etc) we let her choose one "lesser healthy" item (usually either frozen pizza rolls or pop tarts ... that is the type of food she existed on completely prior to her dad meeting me). She usually ends up getting to select 2 "junky" items, but in return, we have about 10 with which we can usually muster up a reasonable week's worth of meals with that is reasonably healthy.

2) At my house, she no longer gets to fix her own plate. In lines with the "starving kids in Africa", I take left overs for lunch and she would routinely pile up her plate and eat about 1/4 of it, tossing the rest in the garbage. Now when we eat at my house, I fix her plate and if she wants more, she is welcome to have more, but there is no more throwing my hard earned money and cooking time in the garbage can.

It is hard when you are a step parent and the child(ren) in question have been allowed to behave in a certain manner, even if it being excessively picky eaters. I think like anything else, the answer is 'everything in moderation'.

A step parent is likely to cause more harm than good by suddenly pulling an "eat it or starve" option this late in the game. If the kids were younger, I would have totally different advice but having teen step kids of my own, I totally get where the OP is coming from.

lisst87

I wouldn't bother educating someone else's children, either. If he raised them to be that way, let him cook for them or let them buy their own food and cook for themselves - they're well past the age where they should be able to cook for themselves.

if you move into their home, and they accept you, throwing a hissy fit about having to boil two pans of pasta is petty and stupid. cooking just for herself and her partner would send a very unpleasant signal about how she views the family unit. looking for compromise meals is a reasonable first step.

No hissy fits in this house The reason I posted was to look for compromise meals, If need be I don't mind cooking two meals , it wont ruin my day, but I do all the cooking in the house so it would be nice to be able to make something healthy that everyone can eat and enjoy.

I'm neither a parent or a step parent and to be honest wouldn't dream of telling someone else's children to 'take it or leave it', that's for their parents to do. I also don't fancy a houseful of teenagers bickering with their dad about food. Healthy compromise is all I was looking for.

seltzermint555

I am a step parent to a rather picky 17 year old girl (as a result of being allowed to eat only what she wanted (and by this I mean nothing but junk) for her first 15 years) and over the last 2 years, we have come to a couple of "arrangements" in this area.

1) She goes shopping with us and picks what she would like to have incorporated into meals, with the expectation that it must be 'reasonably' healthy. For every 4-5 healthy items she selects (chicken, spinach, pork chops, green beans, etc) we let her choose one "lesser healthy" item (usually either frozen pizza rolls or pop tarts ... that is the type of food she existed on completely prior to her dad meeting me). She usually ends up getting to select 2 "junky" items, but in return, we have about 10 with which we can usually muster up a reasonable week's worth of meals with that is reasonably healthy.

2) At my house, she no longer gets to fix her own plate. In lines with the "starving kids in Africa", I take left overs for lunch and she would routinely pile up her plate and eat about 1/4 of it, tossing the rest in the garbage. Now when we eat at my house, I fix her plate and if she wants more, she is welcome to have more, but there is no more throwing my hard earned money and cooking time in the garbage can.

It is hard when you are a step parent and the child(ren) in question have been allowed to behave in a certain manner, even if it being excessively picky eaters. I think like anything else, the answer is 'everything in moderation'.

A step parent is likely to cause more harm than good by suddenly pulling an "eat it or starve" option this late in the game. If the kids were younger, I would have totally different advice but having teen step kids of my own, I totally get where the OP is coming from.

Edited. My original comment sounded too harsh. Suffice it to say, I am disturbed and shocked that a 17 yr old needs that kind of micromanagement. She's one year away from legal adulthood. There are 17 yr olds in college, with full-time jobs, and who are parents.

Just wow.

And I don't mean that negatively toward you or anything. I'm just amazed.

dragonflydi

Edited. My original comment sounded too harsh. Suffice it to say, I am disturbed and shocked that a 17 yr old needs that kind of micromanagement. She's one year away from legal adulthood. There are 17 yr olds in college, with full-time jobs, and who are parents.

Just wow.

And I don't mean that negatively toward you or anything. I'm just amazed.

Comments like this is the very reason I stopped even commenting on this site several months ago - I did not ask to be judged, criticized or to have my step-daughter ridiculed because she is not as "mature" as some teens who are "in college, with full time jobs or who are parents" (which does not, in and of itself, make them mature, responsible people and often times, quite the opposite).

I merely offered a suggestion that I hadn't yet seen offered. Nothing more ... but suffice to say that I guess it's a good thing that *I* met her dad and have chosen to love her like my own and *teach* her rather than you, because she deserves better than someone who will merely shake their head in disappointment and disapproval and cast her aside.

Comment further if you like, but I won't be coming back to this thread to see it.